X11 season 45 - de rigueur Mortis

[Various Artist]

OTF League roundup for 20th June 2022: Season 68 Round 11 (with bits of Round 10 for good measure)

Division 3

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Wednesday de la Zouch stretched out their lead to 6 points at the summit, two second-half goals seeing them ease to a 2-0 win at Eintracht Midwest who drop two places to 6th. Their position was improved by 3rd-placed Indigo Plateau, fresh from beating Brian Munchingflapjack twice in a row, picking up their third victory on the spin by defeating 2nd-placed OWC Albion at the latter’s Colosseum of Dread. A first-half Fernando Tauros brace of headers from corners had Plateau in control, but the striker blew his chance of a natural hat-trick from the spot with 13 minutes to go and Albion seized on the let-off three minutes later when Buck Aneering-Hedda fired in a free kick. Then Plateau sub Jude Victribellingham, returning from a 10-day injury sustained in the reverse fixture 11 days earlier, was carried back off with a second 10-dayer in a row with three minutes left to set up a grandstand finale – in which his team nonetheless held on for the win that brings them up to just 3pts behind OWC.
Picking up steam again after back-to-back 1-1 draws, Brutal Deluxe Redux and Great Northern Railway are up to 4th and 5th after respectively beating Byss FC 2-0 for the second time in 11 days and a 3-0 win at New Dresden (9th). To continue their palindromic season BDR they will have to beat Midwest 2-0 next. Dresden and GNR finished with 10 men apiece after the benchless hosts lost defender Winston Manfield to a horror tackle on 67 minutes, for which teenage Railway sub Alastar Lynot – only on 6 minutes earlier – was also dismissed. Intrigue meanwhile at the bottom of the table, where a Pinewood Passers side who’d lost 9 of their first 10 defeated Brian Munchingflapjack 1-0 at the Theatre of Pies to draw level on points with Dresden. Next up they go to the only side they’d previously beaten, Indigo Plateau, who have only lost all season once otherwise.

Division 2

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Previously imperious Cods of War wobbled a bit over the doubleheader with a defeat then draw against Wensleydale Blues, and nearly lost all momentum with a stalemate at Veni Vici Vigata – until Alex de Souza’s 84th-minute free kick reprieved them, the only goal of the game. Up to 2nd rise Banik Roystonov, Scourge of Chester, who fresh from beating Athletico Deva twice on the bounce also completed a swift pair of wins over Deva’s local rivals Saltney Drawers (6th). Jaromir Popej scored either side of the break to ease them to a 2-0 win on the Wales-England Border, giving me a relatively quiet day on commentary so to speak and lifting them a point ahead of Heffron Hendecagon. The Hendos drop to 3rd, after a 2-1 loss at Turd Division was followed by them throwing away a point at home to Wharfedale Generals – when despite having 6 shots to 1 they were pegged back by Pascal Poaute’s 83rd-minute header. The fortunate Generals climb out of the relegation places to 7th, a point ahead of both Kernow Kensa and Athletico Deva after Deva produced a vital 2-0 win at Kensa with Jonte Malmsborg scoring in each half. Just a point separates the Deviants from their neighbours Saltney three places higher. Above the Drawers though there is a 7pt chasm to Turd Division, who stay put in 5th after a 1-1 draw with Wensleydale Blues in 4th with both goals coming inside 5 minutes in the closing portion of the match.

Division 1

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Waveney Valley Swifts are another pacesetting team who’ve lost momentum in midseason, two home draws in a row against Portsmouth FC last Thursday and at home to Locomotiv Noj on Monday slowing their promotion charge. They wasted an advantage of 5 shots to 0 against Noj, who in their eponymous manager’s words “got away with” a point from the big clash of the day: although Locomotiv drop a place to 4th, they are merely 3 points behind leaders WVS with single-point gaps now separating each of the top four. Storming Steaua Bridge (2nd) in contrast have won four on the trot, easily doubling die Ambosse in the doubleheader and bookending that with two victories over AFC Csiki Monkeys, Monday’s by 2-0 at home. Littlewoods Legends are in the same boat, except you can substitute ‘Azure Dragons’ and ‘Whoft Fluffopolis’ respectively into the above sentence, crushing the winless Fluffers 4-1 at the Woods on Monday led by a brace from Alcino Alencar. Littlewoods are going better than anyone, now on a run of 5 wins in a row to roar up into 3rd. They are next at die Ambosse again, who sit second-bottom and now six points from safety after a 2-0 defeat at Azure Dragons in 7th. Portsmouth also picked up an important win to keep just 2pts behind the Dragons in 8th, 2-0 at home to slumping Somers Town Sugar Imps who are only two points further ahead in 6th after four defeats in a row.

OTF

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Leaders Croesoswallt Dragons cranked on the pressure on the rest of the top flight with another key win on Monday, seeing off third-placed Great Ouse Town at the Host of Trophies Past to move 5 points clear at the top of the league. They could not capitalise on their first-half dominance after taking a 17th-minute lead through Lewis Harold’s 6th goal of the season, and were made to pay when Scott Grayson fired an equaliser with Ouse’s only attempt soon after the break, but Yassir Badr finally restored the Dragons’ advantage with 12 minutes to play then cracked home a clincher deep into stoppage time. Zeugmaspor (2nd) were held 1-1 at Vita Mortis, in a largely dull game where Zeugma led at the break after Derin Sentürk converted the only chance of the first half, but then conjured only one more chance in the second half and were denied by Mortis’s own solitary sight of goal when last season’s OTF Top Scorer award winner Wesley Bannerman hammered in just his second of this term. Mortis climb back out of the dropzone to 7th, having slumped into it via a one-sided 3-0 loss at the Dragons last Thursday. Zeugma, who had beaten Berkshire Swine to leap to 2nd, stay put but only on GD ahead of Four Candles who dug out a 1-0 win at bottom club Rejects Redux to climb to 3rd.
The Swine stalemated 0-0 on Monday at home to champions Dandy Town, the pair staying a point apart in midtable in 6th and 5th respectively. That meant 9th-placed Hampshire Deers moved right in touch with the pack by beating Eriskay Expression 3-2 at the Glen, just about hanging on after a blitzkrieg blast of three goals between the 20th and 27th minutes – two from Leigh Kerrigan either side of one from last term’s league Golden Boot winner Dwight Allmark – put them almost out sight before Expression pulled two back after the interval only to fall just short in their comeback. The Scots drop into the relegation places in 8th, and are now ahead of the Deers only on GD. With just 7 points spanning 2nd–9th it is all to play for in the second half of the campaign, with only the winless Rejects currently cut adrift.

[nmrfox]

Message for Janik. Following a successful relegation campaign from the Xpert Ladies Division 5.22, the village of Hazeldean decided to no longer welcome The Imperials and so they've relocated down the other end of Ken Higgs Avenue to the nearby hamlet of Ambient Cheese.

[MortalJoe]

So, Dublin City Womens FC lost their play-off game, but I was sure we do. Because I used that game for that extra push of DV ofr my younger players. And it paid off. My latest star form the Youth Academy, 17 year old Sheena Moore, midfielder and hardtrainer, jumped form 17/6 to 18/8. So I put her on the market for 7.5 Million Econ, and she is already up to 10 million. So that will do something good for the funding of the team.

Etienne, it is sad to see you go from Drakaina. And this time I am not applying for your team. I really like the team, I start to get all the players I need from the Youth Academy. And I can't complain about the Academy.

Actually I have four to five teams where the Youth Academy produces exceptionally well, one of them is 13th Legion in the Brythonnic Premiership. The Academy in the OTF, Heineken, MLX and The Human League could much more improve, but I can work with that as wll.

[Harbinger of Hope]

Don't think I've ever seen an 18/8. Crikey.

[Sits]

No that’s impressive. I got three DJs at Deerfield Durocs but my main challenge is to find a 30-32yo defender of at least reasonable quality in this tiny transfer market.

[Janik]

Week 14 of Season 65 of the Official Xpert 11 Ladies League report. Plus the play-offs.

Division 1b

Viking South Utsira    3 - 2    Pepita´s Team
Ferrara (O.G.) 12'        Roma 40'
L.Hovland (pen) 53'        Pedrosa (pen) 60'
N.Austrheim 92'


Division 2b

Drakaina        0 - 0    Wælcyrie Girls


Division 3e

FC Sprezzatura        2 - 2    Mauchline Belles
Anguita 2'            Aponte 37'
Braizat 25'            MacFillan 44'


Division 4i

PVFC Ladies        1 - 1    Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC
Kinizsi 15'            Hartanto 43'


Division 4j

Invictus Ladies FC     0 - 1    Coxy Ladies Wulpen
                de Waterloe 77'

The Norfolk Broads    1 - 0    Ullapool Northern Star
Coyne 87'


Division 4m

CF Real da Praceta    2 - 0    Zeugma Dostluk Spor
Collocini 2', 78'


Division 4n

Cassiopeia        2 - 0    Brkate Zetovke
Aritonovic 14', 93'


Division 5:14

Deerfield Durocs    1 - 3    BK Foxy
Chornovil 57'            Porumboiu 19'
                Ludden (O.G.) 33'
                Vasco Taborda 59'


Division 5:19

Rising Stars        0 - 0    Ramsgate FC Womens


Division 5:22

Bombay Green Rockets    3 - 3    Luculenus LFC
Reynolds 28'            Ullathorpe 25', 78'
L0ck 72', 80'            Mayberry 38'

The Temptation Within    2 - 1    Hazeldean Inchmistress
Walters 57'            Morgan 60'
Keir 82'


Division 5:28

Menywod Maeshafn    1 - 0    Danis Ladies
Campbell 29'


Division 5:31

Csiki Girls        1 - 0    Drygate Divas
Ackland 3'


Division 6:36

LNWR Locomotive        3 - 1    San Francisco 9ers
Sassounian 34'            Wissink 48'
Deeney 83'            Machado (sent off) 39'
Hamshahri 85'


Division 6:44

Invisible Ladies    1 - 0    Wolf Alice
Parsons 34'

ASU Politehnica        3 - 0    Glenbogle Monarchs
Hällqvist 12', 81'
Tilbe 56'


Division 6:51

Gunners FC        2 - 2    Metropolis Ladies FC
Pedrosa 21'            Hochimin 18'
Carini 54'            Häggbom (O.G.) 48'


Division 6:57

S.C. da Treta        0 - 1    Dublin City Womens FC
                Petelius 17'

Viking South Utsira kicked off the final day of the season needing a point to be assured of their Division 1b survival. Fortunately for The Blood Eagles their last opponents this term were Pepita´s Team, who were bottom of the table with just three points and no wins to their names. And, obviously, long since relegated.
A win in such a game cannot be taken completely for granted, though. Not even when the opponents gift you the lead 12 minutes in via an own goal. The player who scored it was Pepita’s skipper, Lígia Ferrara; she followed that up three minutes later by picking up a red cross injury to complete a thoroughly bad day. Viking dominated possession after this, but struggled to make chances and paid for that when the visitors equalised on 40 minutes.
Ref Hugh Cango gave The Blood Eagles a chance to re-establish their advantage on 53 minutes when he awarded the Norwegians a penalty, Lina Hovland converting… only for Cango to take the lead away again when he gave Peptia’s a spot kick in turn on 60 minutes, which they also scored. It was still 2-2 going into injury-time, which a) hit VSU’s pre-game target of a point for survival and b) wasn’t even needed anyway as one of the other struggling sides was losing 2-0. But only drawing the game would have been a bit of an embarrassment for Velvet Android’s side. And Nina Austrheim wasn’t having that, the veteran forward header the winner deep into stoppage time.
The Blood Eagles end the 1b season in a very mid-table fourth place.

We didn’t know at the time but Drakaina’s clash with Division 2b champions Wælcyrie Girls was the end of an era at Delphi – it was Etienne’s last in charge.
In 26 seasons at the club, The Dragons highlights were two single season sojourns to the top flight and two runs to the last 16 of the Cup. However recently the trend has been a bit down, two relegations dropping the Greeks down to the third tier, somewhere they were already assured to spend a third straight season before this game kicked off (Drakaina were actually only three points adrift of second, but the fixture list made climbing into that spot impossible).
As a valedictory tour this game lacked a certain something. Chances, mostly. Neither side made a single one. Some might make Wælcyrie the more guilty for that as the 2b title winners had 60% of possession… but both teams contributed by cancelling the other out.
The boss departs with his side having finished fourth in Division 2 for the second consecutive season, Drakaina adding that finish in 2b this term to 2c’s fourth place effort in season 64.

A disappointing season for Mauchline Belles that has seen the Ayrshire side relegated from Division 3e ended with a dead rubber away at mid-table FC Sprezzatura.
The Belles problem has been far too many draws and nowhere near enough wins, but this game appeared to be heading the third way when Sprezzatura goals on 2 and 25 minutes had Jdsx’s side well behind. Mauchline fought back to be level by half-time though, young defender Anamarie Aponte heading in a corner on 37 minutes for her first senior goal and Michelle MacFillan also scoring from a flag-kick, though that 44th minute strike came from her foot.
Would this be the day for just The Belles second win of the season? Or would they lose for just the fifth time (a very low count for a relegated team). Well, neither of course – it finished 2-2, as it really had to.
The point gained did at least save the Scots the ignominy of finishing bottom of 3e. They end the season seventh instead.

Another dead rubber sent Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC to PVFC Ladies, though the reasons for the lack of anything riding on the game are more positive from our perspective here – The Sea Spirits were already champions of Division 4i before final day play commenced.
SeanoftheShed’s side dominated possession in the first half, but spent the majority of it behind after PVFC scored 15 minutes in. However Kanjeng were level by the break thanks to Utami Hartanto 43rd minute free-kick. And that was that as far as action was concerned in this game – KRK continued to have more of the ball, but didn’t create another chance. And only gave up on further to PVFC, which the hosts spurned.
The goal conceded here was just the fourth The Sea Spirits have shipped this season. They end not only as champions but also Invincibles, having won 10 and drawn 4 of their 14 games.

There was still an tiny outside hope of a play-off spot for Coxy Ladies Wulpen ahead of the final day in Division 4j. But it was unlikely. It not only involved The Waders becoming the first team all season to defeat champions Invictus Ladies FC but also two other results to drop right.
The Coxy Ladies players could only concentrate on what they could effect – beating Invictus. They did this very well, controlling the entire match, holding 63% possession and making four chances to the hosts zero. They also kept going and believing as the winning goal arrived fairly late, Victoria de Waterloe heading home a 77th minute corner. But whether this was all encouraging or actually frustrating for Wulpen boss Janik is arguable – it shows what his side are capable of, but haven’t produced regularly at all this campaign.
One of the other results that Coxy Ladies were relying on was a draw from Ullapool Northern Star’s trip diagonally across Great Britain to visit The Norfolk Broads. Not that either of the sides involved in the match were playing for a draw. For one it would expose them to get leapfrogged by Wulpen, but more importantly it wouldn’t put much pressure at all on Zombie Team, who started the day in second, a point clear of these two.
It looked like Polaris had taken a key lead half-an-hour into a tight first half when Mary-Rose MacKirdie struck. But referee Warren Peace had detected a foul, so this effort was chalked off. Which was bad news for Delicatemoth’s side as UNS barely came to scoring again after that.
The same wasn’t true of Norfolk, who were creating chances. However the game was drifting towards a suits-no-one outside Flanders draw until the hosts finally put a chance away in the 87th minute.
That strike knocked both OTF sides out of contention for the 4j play-off place. As it turned out it wasn’t good enough for Norfolk either, as everyone involved had been busting a gut over nothing given Zombie Team’s predictable 3-0 home win against a relegated side.
The results did mean our two sides swapped places in the final 4j table, The Waders climbing to fourth and Polaris ending up fifth.

Zeugma Dostluk Spor matchday 13 win coupled with CF Real da Praceta only drawing their penultimate game took all of the sting out of the final day meeting of Division 4m’s top two as AntepliEjderha’s side were already the champions.
Hosts Praceta still had something to play for though, as they only held a two point advantage over third. And they soon showed their motivation by going ahead in the 2nd minute. This wouldn’t be with the run of play for the rest of the half, as ZDS had the better of things (57% possession and 4-3 on chances across the half)… but couldn’t turn it into an equaliser.
The visitors continued to look the team more likely after the break… but once again they didn’t score and Praceta did! Not that final day defeat mattered, given the Anatolians had already celebrated their title.

[Janik]

Issues at both the top and bottom were in play when Cassiopeia welcomed Brkate Zetovke to Agora Aethiopia.
As far as The Vainglories were concerned it was affairs at the bottom that mattered to them – Stormstopper’s side kicked off the final day just two points clear of Division 4n’s bottom three. It wasn’t only the distance clear that mattered though as the sections sixth- and seventh-placed sides (Iron empress and FCT Queens) were playing each other, and were both in reach of The Conceited Ones. Cassiopeia’s goal difference meant a draw would put them safe… but here we get to the other issue – opponents Brkate Zetovke sat second in the table, but only by a point from Liverpool Amazons in third. They would have assumed they needed a win to stay in the play-offs, and that meant there wasn’t a result that was satisfactory to both teams. That wasn’t even everything as Cassiopeia were level on points with fourth-placed Samurai, but we will ignore them for this report as they were playing the bottom team so highly likely to win (which they did, 6-0) and if I did try and include that it would mean covering every game in 4n!
OK *phew* that is the background. The Vainglories could ignore that though and simply pursue what they needed – at least a point. Sandra Aritonovic’s 14th minute opening goal was a good start as far as that was concerned. It was also the only chance of the first half, meaning The Vainglories held their lead until the break… where the update was good news for both teams. Yes, Cassiopeia’s main rivals Iron empress were winning 1-0 at Queens, but with The Vainglories ahead that was of no matter (remember Cassiopeia just needed a draw to be safe). As for Brkate Zetovke they were still clinging on to the play-off spot despite being behind as their rivals, Liverpool Amazons were 1-0 down at home to title winners Fajar Khatulistiwa FC (did I not mention that Liverpool were playing the champions?? I’m sure I did… No? OK then, the Amazons were playing the champions).
As the second half progressed neither situation changed. In fact they both became more locked in. Iron empress went two up in their game, which meant that Cassiopeia couldn’t afford to lose. But they were winning, so that was a two goal swing. As it was for Brkate Zetovke after Liverpool also fell 2-0 behind.
The game we are concentrating on began to open up a bit after the break, but without addition to the score before news filtered through that Liverpool had closed to within one in their game. That left Zetovke hanging on by just a goal as one more for the Amazons and they took the play-off place on goal difference. Deep into stoppage time there was indeed another goal… but rather than adding to the drama Aritonovic’s second of the day actually changed very little.
Cassiopeia stayed up in 4n by two points and +11 goal difference in the end. As for Brkate Zetovke, they made the play-offs but then lost in those to Zombie Team.

OK, that was a long report. Fortunately we can dispense with the one on Deerfield Durocs much more swiftly as The Swine were already Division 5:14 champions prior to playing BK Foxy.
This was probably a good thing as far as SitsWithRemote and his Durcos players were concerned as they had stumbled and sleepwalked rather over the line for the title, four straight draws proving enough thanks to a little help from elsewhere. As can be inferred from that, Deerfield’s title was down to the opening half of the season – indeed they held an 8-1-0 record after 9 games played.
That was important for this game as visitors Foxy needed to win to stay up, and even that was dependant on other results. But, motivated, they went and did precisely that, inflicting a first defeat of the season on the title winners. Foxy went ahead on 19 minutes, benefitted from an own goal from Doris Ludden on 33, and then reacted to Aleksandra Chornovil pulling one back on 57 minutes by nearly immediately making it 3-1 (59 minutes).
It all meant Foxy stayed up, whilst defeat was something The Swine can gloss over as their elevation to Division 4 was already secured. Though the lack of form does make pre-season more important for them.

Rising Stars went into their final Division 5:19 game top of the table, but needing to beat mid-table visitors Ramsgate FC Womens as both The Effing Blinders and GAI Ladies were hot on their tails, just goal difference and a point behind respectively. Oh, and the Blinders in particular had an easy game at home to the bottom team – Blamb and co had to bank on them winning, which meant The Ascenders also needed to.
Problem: The Stars had drawn quite a few this season (6 out of 13) and so had Ramsgate (6 from the same). The local turf accountant had a draws as the favourite for the outcome of this game, and despite both teams creating enough chances to have done something about that, four for Rising and three for Ramsgate, it turned out to be not only a draw, but a goalless one.
And a costly one because, as expected, The Effing Blinders beat Wheelies Wobblers 3-0. That meant the 5:19 title had gone for The Ascenders. But climbing a level was still on the cards despite this as GAI suffered an unexpected 1-0 defeat against the side fifth in the table. Which meant that Rising actually increased their advantage on third to two points as they prepared for the winner-takes-all clash.

Another ridiculously complicated scenario was in play in Division 5:22… and this one involving two of our sides, both battling against relegation. In each case a win guaranteed safety, but of the two Bombay Green Rockets were the more likely to achieve it as they played already relegated Luculenus LFC (we will get on to Hazeldean Inchmistress’ situation in a bit).
Bombay couldn’t take Luculenus lightly though, as there were only five points between the teams at kick-off. A key five points it’s true (the difference between already down and survival in one’s own hands!), but that did mean the game was potentially pretty even. That said it was still a nasty shock for Green Rockets fans when the visitors took the lead not once but twice, finding a second goal after Becky Reynolds had quickly cancelled out the 25th minute opener with her own 28th minute strike.
Reynolds thought she had responded again on 42 minutes, but this was disallowed. Instead it fell to Isabel Lock to level things up when she fired in from range on 72 minutes. However if Bombay fans thought this was setting up a dramatic winner, they were mistaken as Luculenus went ahead again on 78. Lock was the one to react, and unlikely Reynolds earlier her swift response (80) stood. That was enough to secure a point for Bombay… but would it be enough for HKS3 and co?
Two matches would determine that. Would Harmonic Convergence beat bottom side Flick of the Wrist. And if they did, could Hazeldean Inchmistress save themselves by winning at The Temptation Within, who, inconveniently for Foxy265’s side, needed a point to claim the 5:22 title.
This was looking an unlikely prospect from the outset for The Imperials as TTW hogged the ball for long spells. It was the hosts creating chances, whilst Inchmistress dug in and survived scares around their box. All the while news was filtering through that Harmonic Convergence were winning (as expected) but that Bombay kept falling behind then fighting back. Which opened the door a fraction for the Framleyshire outfit, but only a fraction – they needed a better result than The Green Rockets got.
That was how things stood at half-time; Bombay were behind and Hazeldean were level. But how long could The Imperials defy the increasing odds as chances racked up against them. Until the 57th minute in fact. But wait! Just three minutes after falling behind, and utterly against the run of play, Jacqueline Morgan equalised for The Imperials with a header from a corner.
That put Inchmistress back up to fifth in the virtual table, and The Rockets down to sixth. But then Bombay equalised. Now it was The Green Rockets surviving… no The Imperials (Bombay had gone 3-2 down)… no, actually, I was right, it was The Rockets (now 3-3 at The Common).
The local fans didn’t know whether they were coming or going through all of these, so there was an odd sense of relief when The Temptation Within finally put a chance away on 82 minutes to increase the effective gap between our two teams to two goals.
And that was how things stayed… though not in Hazeldean they didn’t as the Inchmmistress board reacted to relegation by upping sticks and moving their side elsewhere in the county! Foxy265’s side will labour under the name of Ambient Cheese when they take the field in Division 6 in Season 66. That was the result of ending sixth in the 5:22 table, whilst The Green Rockets finished up fifth and remain in both the sixth tier and playing their games in Bombay.

[Janik]

The final day of the season was a dotting the i’s and crossing the t’s job for Menywod Maeshafn. Technically IsThatcherDeadYet’s side still needed a point to completely sew up their play-off spot, but with a three point and +9 Goal Difference advantage over third-placed Aegean Coast Ladies, this was not a particularly stressful exercise. Plus Aegean Coast’s final game was against fourth-placed Atomic, where not winning was entirely plausible (and, in fact, they lost it 3-0). Oh yeah, and also Maeshafn last day opponents were Danis Ladies who were bottom of Division 5:28 and already relegated.
Given all that, the day was the cakewalk that might have been expected. Maeshafn may only have won their game 1-0, Iona Campbell heading home the only goal in the 29th minute, but that was more than enough as Danis didn’t have a shot. Second place in 5:28 was assured.
Actually, the main thing to come from the day would have been no injuries or suspensions. Or rather it would, if this hadn’t gone wrong. But a minor knock to Margaret Probyn (of the 4 day variety) and more frustratingly a yellow card to Iris Cessaro cost Maeshafn both their specialist free-kick takers for the play-off game.

A dramatic final day was potentially in store for Division 5:31. How dramatic? Well, Csiki Girls situation summed it up – Ad hoc’s side could finish anywhere from 2nd to 6th depending on their result against Drygate Divas and others elsewhere.
Obviously the first issue for Csiki Girls was to take relegation out of the equation. That wasn’t particularly likely as it involved the side in sixth, CFF Dinamo Bucharest, beating champions România, but with just a point on Dinamo a win was going to make everyone associated with Csiki Girls much more comfortable. That settling down process started quickly, Norma Ackland heading the hosts ahead from a 3rd minute corner.
The next bit was not only holding on to the lead, but doubling it – a win would take Csiki Girls level on points with the Divas you see, but if it was just a single goal they would still be behind on goal difference. Try as they might, and the Transylvanians definitely tried, firing at the Drygate goal five times in the match, that second goal wouldn’t come. Well, Ackland did think she had it on 43 minutes, but ref Ann Onym disagreed and the Divas goalie wasn’t beaten again.
In the end it didn’t matter as results elsewhere meant there was no margin of victory would have been enough for The Csiki’s. The lack of the second goal was just the difference between finishing fourth as they did, or third as they might have done. But hey, a few weeks ago dropping back to Division 6 again loomed as a realistic threat. In that sense, fourth is good.

And so, after a season long express charge, it came down to this for LNWR Locomotive – take a point from their final match at home to third-placed San Francisco 9ers, or highly likely see themselves shunted into the play-off siding allowing title rivals KrYptiX (who had a near certain win in their game in prospect) to trundle past.
The Steamers hadn’t won 11 games out of 13 for no reason, mind. Yes, Fricso were one of the two other results (the sides drawing 1-1 in their first meeting), but even so Viktor Boskovic’s side were clear favourites to get the result they needed here. The first half went as expected, LNQR dominating and Sirouhi Sassounian firing them ahead on 34 minutes. But then it took an unpredictable turn… that looked to have made The Steamers job even easier. This was a horrible hack from San Fran’s Anica Machado that saw her dismissed with a straight red card in the 39th minute for inflicting a (thankfully minor) injury on Samja Bencic. Bencic was subbed directly after the red card.
The Steamers had been on top in the first half against 11, which surely meant the red card ended the game as a contest. Except, it didn’t. Because utterly against the run of play Frisco equalised on 48 minutes. That induced anxiety in the Mollington Street crowd – they could see their side were well on top, but now they were one goal conceded from missing out. OK, they weren’t give up chances… but they hadn’t been prior to Frisco’s out-of-the-blue opener either. Chance after chance going begging at the other end wasn’t helping matters. Until Callie Deeney calmed everyone down by firing home from a free-kick on 83 minutes. Suddenly relaxed again, a third was swiftly tagged on by Niloufar Hamshahri with a blast from distance. And with that the Division 6:36 title party could begin. The final margin of victory was three points and -1 GD.

Defeat in the OTF derby had ended Invisible Ladies play-off chances, meaning their final game of the season against Wolf Alice was merely a tune-up for the visitors ahead of bigger gigs…
The game was decided as much by referee Robert Nixon as anyone, the whistler disallowing a Wolf Alice strike on 30 minutes, but seemingly much happier with Catlyn Parsons’ breakaway goal four minutes later.
Those were far from the only chances of the game, The See-Throughs creating three other openings and Wolf Alice also making four chances. But PebbletheFish’s side stood up to all of those to end the season on a high.
The other side of the coin in the OTF derby was victory securing at least a play-off spot for ASU Politehnica. But could The Scholars snatch an unlikely title instead? That was out of Granthamian and co.’s hands as it depended on leaders London Ladies losing to Mawzeni. The student side couldn’t influence that – all they could do was beat Glenbogle Monarchs to ensure that if London did slip up, they were there to force their way through the open door.
Politehnica managed this pretty comprehensively, controlling the ball for long periods of the first half, which they also led from the 12th minute onwards following Nanna Hällqvist’s header, and then reprising this with the addition of more chances and goals after the break, Pakize Tilbe making it two from a direct free-kick on 56 minutes before Hällqvist struck again on 81.
Comprehensive, but, as expected, futile as London Ladies won their game. That left Politehnica contemplating a play-off, which at least they hadn’t picked up any last minute injuries or suspensions ahead of. As for The See-Throughs, they were already assured of finishing third in Division 6:44 before the final day even kicked off.

Rumours swirled around the Metropolis Ladies FC end of Gunners FC’s ground that recently installed boss Harbinger of Hope was planning some changes in the closed season. Pretty wholesale ones. Like a new club name and new location, not just two or three new signings for the playing squad.
Prior to those though Metropolis had to complete the season, and they did so in a game that was more important to their hosts than themselves – Gunners kicked off in third place in Division 6:51, but only on goal difference and just two points off the top. It was therefore a significant departure from the expected script when Chisola Hochimin turned home Angelica Gagner’s 18th minute free-kick to give Metropolis the lead. Gunners responded swiftly, levelling just three minutes later, but this still wasn’t how it was supposed to play out.
The teams exchanged quick-fire goals again early in the second half, Metropolis re-establishing their advantage when Diana Häggbom put through her own net on 48 minutes. The visitors held on to their advantage for twice as long this time, meaning the time was up to 54 minutes before Gunners equalised again.
And that was that for the scoring… and for Metropolis Ladies. Their last ever finishing position was seventh in Division 6:51. Something that Dathomir FC (the new name of the side) will aim to significantly surpass next campaign.

Our last regular season of Season 65 game saw Dublin City Womens FC head to managerless S.C. da Treta looking for the result to see them exploit likely outcomes elsewhere and climb into Division 6:57’s play-off spot.
The “outcome elsewhere” was second-placed Homers Damer, who are also now managerless, losing at champions Secunda FC. When this game was 3-0 to Secunda by the interval that looked a certainty. A Homers defeat meant Dublin only needed to draw at Treta; they were doing more than that though, Kirsti Petelius having given The Molly Malones the lead by heading home in the 17th minute.
Mortal Joe’s side had the possession to add to that tally, but were not making all that many chances from it. However as long as the target remained just one point that didn’t really matter as what The Molly Malones had already was more than enough to secure second place and a play-off spot. In fact it was the visitors who came the closest to adding to the totals, Sheena Moore having a goal chalked off on 70 minutes. Fortunately that was the only set-back Dublin experienced on the day as they picked up no new injuries or suspensions prior to the big clash. On which more below…

[Janik]

Play-offs for Division 4

Funchal Ladies        1 - 1    Menywod Maeshafn
Weise 27'        A.E.T.    Lincoln 66'

Funchal win 4-3 on penalties


Rising Stars        1 - 0    Hearts of Oakland
Veríssimo 118'    A.E.T.
                Mandala (sent off) 90+2'


Play-offs for Division 5

ASU Politehnica        2 - 0    Backyard Babies FC
Odenman 17'
Södergren 34'


Toulouse Lionesses    1 - 0    Dublin City Womens FC
Fahlström 116'        A.E.T.

And so to the play-off clashes. Our first one to look in on was Menywod Maeshafn clash with Funchal Ladies, which came with a Division 4 place on the line.
The first half was a worrying one for IsThatcherDeadYet and his Maeshafn team as Funchal had over 60% of possession and ended it 1-0 up after a 27th minute strike. The boss’ response to his players at half time was to tell them that for all their opponents hogging of the ball, it was only one goal and just as importantly it had been one chance each. The Maeshafn players were actually doing a good job of battling and being tough in the face of considerable odds.
Fans of the Welsh club were able to take more than pride from their team’s efforts though as they came back to level on 66 minutes when Clare Lincoln headed in a corner, and that despite Funchal continuing to have noticeably more of the play. A pattern was now set of the game, and went unbroken through the rest of normal time and extra-time – Funchal having the bulk of the play but chances pretty even. And the eventual winner unclear.
One key moment for Maeshafn came in the second half of extra-time when they survived a scare thanks to ref Manuel Ficu disallowing a Funchal strike. That would likely have been a winner, but as it was penalties loomed. And suddenly, after 120 minutes fighting a rearguard action, Maeshafn were even favourites.
They stayed that way through the first two rounds of penalties as both teams netted each of their kicks, Cho-Hee Eum and Ghita Gulbranson converting for Double M. The North Walians then got to the position of being the likelier to win when Caoimhe Whiteside beat away Funchal’s third effort… only for Leigh McRichter to see her shot also saved to immediately reset things to even. Three more conversions, Edith Narberth doing so for Marshafn, brought us to the last kick before sudden death. Although, practically, it already was as far as Iolanda Eugénio was concerned. Miss, and her side had lost. She did. Maeshafn lost. And everyone trooped back to North Wales fiercely proud of what they had produced, but…

The other OTF side with a chance of jumping up to Division 4 was Rising Stars who took on Hearts of Oakland.
This match proved to be a test of patience for Ascenders fans as their side had substantially more of the play from the outset, as in around two-thirds of possession on average throughout, but found Oakland hard to break down. Part of that was a somewhat aggressive approach from the ill-named Hearts that saw them pick up a number of yellow cards… and also inflict a minor injury on Stars ‘keeper Alba Quevedo. Fortunately for Rising boss Blamb he had subbed lightly injured players turned off, which was key with an 18 year-old kid as the back-up goalie on the bench.
Not that Oakland had any chances in the 90 minutes. And the likelihood of them making a first in extra-time diminished significantly when Bhadra Mandala picked up her second yellow card of the day two minutes into second-half stoppage time (noted as the 90+2nd minute to differentiate it from the other 92nd that every extra-time match has!).
It became a question of whether The Stars, already well on top against 11, could make their advantage tell before it went to a penalty shoot-out where Quevedo’s reduced spring might matter. It was a close run thing. Very close. But with just two minutes to spare, up popped Érica Veríssimo to curl home a free-kick from 25 years and propel Rising to a higher level for next term.

The Division 6 play-offs, i.e. those for a spot in Division 5, also featured two of our sides. In this case we will start with ASU Politehnica, who faced off against Backyard Babies FC.
Obviously one would expect late teenagers and twenty-somethings to beat pre-toddlers, even if the venue was a playing field more similar to a backyard than the classrooms better suited to Politehnica’s strengths. But even playing on slightly alien ground wasn’t going to hold Granthamian’s side back. Not when they arrived on awesome form, having won 10 and drawn 1 of their previous 11 fixtures. The Scholars willingness to hit their books hard was swiftly rewarded, Elisabet Odenman picking a fine old time to score her first of the season. Not the 17th minute specifically, but any minute in this match was a good one. However it did set up a nice bit of symmetry as double the time of Odenman’s opener also brought double the advantage for the student side as Evelyn Södergren converted a 34th minute breakaway.
Politehnica had a couple of options after that – sit back and hold on to their advantage, or go for more. Clearly reckoning attack was the best form of defence they did the latter, and were proved quite right. No more goals were actually added, but as the ball was in Backyard’s… err… zone the vast majority of the time, the Babies never had the chances they needed to turn the result around. Which meant an immediate bounce back to Division 5 for The Scholars. Very deserved.

Dublin City Womens FC boss Mortal Joe has explained publically that he was looking longer term than just getting into Division 5 next season when his Molly Malones side clashed with Toulouse Lionesses.
To that end the Dublin boss turned subbing lightly injured players off and organised a triple substitution for the hour mark. Was he banking on the match going to extra-time to give all 6 of those players an equal amount of the game? Unclear, but if he was, very perceptive as that is exactly what happened.
One of the subs to enter on the hour mark was young starlet Sheena Moore, in what will prove to be her last game for Dublin as she will transfer somewhere new just hours from now. And for a very substantial price – as of 22:30 tonight the bidding stands at around 17.5 million for the lass. She will be leaving a Division 6 club though, because despite the young Dublin side putting up a terrific fight in this game and nearly giving their boss the double present of lots of DV and promotion, Toulouse edged it with a strike deep into extra-time (116 minutes). The French side arguably didn’t deserve the win, either. But them’s the breaks. Let’s see how Dublin spend the windfall that resulted from not going up before judging whether this was the correct move or not.

[Various Artist]

Wow, I'm not sure I've ever seen an 18/8 in the wild either. I've only had one 17/6 academy player come through in my entire time in the game, Elza Klovning at Great Horned Owls, who's just advanced to 24/15 this week and is pound-for-pound my best ever anywhere.

That said, I'm still recovering from receiving my first ever 16/5 the other day, after a full eight and a half years' wait – having been playing X11 since December 2013. It took having nine clubs for about the last 6 of those years, running all my academies at maximum for virtually the whole time, and a tweak to the academy rules to make formerly exceptional players appear somewhat more frequently. Youth striker Heath Hampstead has turned up at United Underground with that previously mythical age/skill combo – and Intelligence and Stamina on top of that. 8.5m is his current, frankly rather conservative valuation.

This means that any ideas I had of retiring from MLX will now have to go on the back burner for about 20 more seasons, as I can't not find out just how good a player I can turn young Heath into. Although it's tempting to just try to cram as much game time and DV as possible into him in the next few weeks then attempt to sell him as an undereval – has anyone ever seen a 16/6 player on the market?!?

[Various Artist]

That was directly after Sits' post when I started typing that post! Five minutes later, however, it's been separated from the thread it was responding to by 30,000 characters of prime Janik reportage...

[Various Artist]

Viking South Utsira kicked off the final day of the season needing a point to be assured of their Division 1b survival. Fortunately for The Blood Eagles their last opponents this term were Pepita´s Team, who were bottom of the table with just three points and no wins to their names. And, obviously, long since relegated.
A win in such a game cannot be taken completely for granted, though. Not even when the opponents gift you the lead 12 minutes in via an own goal. The player who scored it was Pepita’s skipper, Lígia Ferrara; she followed that up three minutes later by picking up a red cross injury to complete a thoroughly bad day. Viking dominated possession after this, but struggled to make chances and paid for that when the visitors equalised on 40 minutes.
Ref Hugh Cango gave The Blood Eagles a chance to re-establish their advantage on 53 minutes when he awarded the Norwegians a penalty, Lina Hovland converting… only for Cango to take the lead away again when he gave Peptia’s a spot kick in turn on 60 minutes, which they also scored. It was still 2-2 going into injury-time, which a) hit VSU’s pre-game target of a point for survival and b) wasn’t even needed anyway as one of the other struggling sides was losing 2-0. But only drawing the game would have been a bit of an embarrassment for Velvet Android’s side. And Nina Austrheim wasn’t having that, the veteran forward header the winner deep into stoppage time.
The Blood Eagles end the 1b season in a very mid-table fourth place.

Thanks for this Janik. The one thing I'd add was that our struggles to put this concluding game to bed did at least allow Nina Austrheim o make what was a fantastically-scripted closing contribution – her stoppage-time goal was not only the 3-2 winner on the day but was with the very last touch of her career, as this was her final game. It wasn't the most vintage of retirement seasons, but she certainly went out on something of a high with her last act.


Edit: A factoid – having finished this past week with 102 goals for us, Nina is the first and only wholly homegrown player I've had reach the century for me at VSU. There's only five players in the club's long history who've scored more, and three of those were before my time entirely, while the two all-time top scorers Manuças Fudida and Lurdes Quental were squad members I inherited when I first took over.

The next best totals for any native Utsirans are the mere 60 and 57 netted by sisters Birgit and Asta Austrheim down in 11th and 12th overall – just ahead of the 56 of former striker Emilie Klovning, who does however remain the only Utsiran (male or female) in the Xpert Hall of Fame, with an Xpert Ladies league winner's medal as part of the Roy Rovers squad of 7 seasons ago after she left us for a surprise top flight Indian summer to her career. Nina's exit leaves the best tally for any active player as the 54 of Kristin Hovland (14th), a figure unlikely to be improved upon any time soon as she has just turned 38 and announced her impending retirement too.

[Janik]

That was directly after Sits' post when I started typing that post! Five minutes later, however, it's been separated from the thread it was responding to by 30,000 characters of prime Janik reportage...

Closer to 40,000 when including the play-offs (~37,000, IIRC)...

[Sits]

The Xpert Ladies close season is bloody quick isn't it?

[Sean of the Shed]

It runs to the same plan as the official men's leagues.

[Sits]

Exactly.

[Various Artist]

OTF League roundup for 27th June 2022: Season 68 Round 13 (incl. bits of Round 12)

Division 3

---

Wednesday de la Zouch’s march towards the D3 title was given a boost a week ago when they nicked a last-minute win at Brian Munchingflapjack, but was checked on Monday by just a second loss of the season – the leaders taken down 1-0 at home by impressively improving 3rd-placed outfit Indigo Plateau. 2nd-placed OWC Albion meanwhile bounced back from a 0-0 at Great Northern Railway and trailing early on at Pinewood Passers to win 4-1 at the latter’s Theatre of Pies, cutting the gap to Weds back to 5 points and staying a point ahead of Plateau. Brutal Deluxe Plateau remain a point further back in 4th after beating 8th-placed Munchingflapjack 2-0 at home. Byss FC jump ahead of GNR into 5th by beating them 2-0 via a Frank Zellweger double at their Deep Core ground, the midfielder tripling his previous club tally from his first 30 appearances. And in the 20th competitive Germanic derby between New Dresden and Eintracht Midwest, Dresden rebounded from a 4-0 drubbing in the reverse fixture earlier this month to win an entertaining clash 3-2 on their own turf. The pair stay 9th and 7th respectively, but Dresden are now three points off the bottom-placed Passers.

Division 2

---

We missed a big piece of drama last Thursday when an out-of-sorts Cods of War were displaced from top spot in D2 by Banik Roystonov after a 2-0 defeat to them at Rockall, the Pugilistic Poissons’ first home loss since early February. On Monday however the status quo was restored, after a still-unconvincing Cods dominated at Kernow Kensa (7th) and eventually carved out enough chances to snatch a late 2-1 win, while Banik were being held to an oddly quiet 0-0 at home by Wensleydale Blues that ended both their five-game winning run and their brief spell at the top of the pile – as well as giving me an uncharacteristic lack of goals to write about. It is, in fact, the Roystonov outfit’s first scoreless draw since September 2nd last year, at Saltney Drawers in late Season 64. Cods retake top spot by a point, while Heffron Hendecagon (3rd) are only 2pts behind Banik after somehow nicking the only goal in stoppage time of a home game with Saltney Drawers in which they had been outshot 5-1 up to that last moment. It is the Hendos’ first win in four, while the luckless Drawers stay second-bottom and two points from safety.
On a brighter note for Saltney, the rest of their rivals cancelled out on Monday, with 1-1 draws between Veni Vici Vigata (10th) and Turd Division (5th) – which put more of a dent in Turds’ promotion ambitions than it boosted VVV’s survival hopes – and between Athletico Deva (6th) and Wharfedale Generals (8th). The latter pair stay a point apart either side of the safety line, with Generals now behind Kensa only on GD.

Division 1

---

The top four faced off on Monday, and another pair of 1-1 draws kept everything ‘as you were’ at the end of the day. Leaders Waveney Valley Swifts stay 3pts clear of the pack after a 1-1 home draw with 4th-placed Littlewoods Legends, whose own momentum was badly slowed by a stunning 4-2 loss at second-bottom die Ambosse last Thursday. A matching 1-1 between Steaua Bridge (2nd) and Locomotiv Noj (3rd) meanwhile keeps Steaua two points ahead of Noj and Locomotiv one goal ahead of Littlewoods. Noj’s Mavras Alvertis missed a penalty before they eventually equalised with 11 minutes to go, while Steaua defender Marco Vioreanu was stretchered off in the last minute.
The top four cancelling out gave a boost to the midtable sides, with Csiki Monkeys (5th) leading the chase after thrashing die Ambosse (9th) 3-0, Donát Csesnák’s two quick goals early on setting the Monkeys on the road to victory. Somers Town Sugar Imps (6th) beat winless bottom club Whoft Fluffopolis 2-0 at the Belinda Carlisle to stay a point behind the Monkeys, while arguably the most important result of the day came at Azure Dragons’ Dongfang Stadium when Fergus Fortune’s 51st-min penalty earned the 7th-placed hosts a 1-0 home win over 8th-placed Portsmouth FC that opened up a five-point gap between them.

OTF

---

Croesoswallt Dragons’ charge towards a possible 14th title was surprisingly held up slightly on Monday at bottom side Rejects Redux, when despite the leaders having the better of the game and making a 69th-min breakthrough through Bernhard Holtan their lead lasted just 6 minutes before Noel Colbourne’s free kick gave the winless Redux just their fourth point of the season with their only attempt all match. However, the Dragons still ended the day 7pts clear at the summit after none of the rest of the top 4 won either. Nearest challengers Great Ouse Town were also held, 0-0 at 7th-placed Hampshire Deers, to slip back to 3rd, while Zeugmaspor who started the day 3rd went down 2-0 at Dandy Town. Timmu Kraft’s 92nd-minute clincher was an atypical piece of extravagance for the champions: they have the tightest defence in the top flight at just 5 conceded, but it was just the seventh and eighth goals they have scored, a figure higher than only the struggling Rejects. The Dandies leap two places to 4th, their highest position since matchday 5, while the other big beneficiaries were Berkshire Swine who vault to 2nd after Helmuth Seiffert’s 15th-minute goal gave them a hard-fought home win over Four Candles, who slide two to 6th. Only two points separate them, with Ouse and the Dandies squeezed between them and the Deers three further back and now just a point above the safety line.
That was because Eriskay Expression avenged their recent 4-1 home loss to Vita Mortis by winning 4-2 in the return fixture at the Hollows, Mortis living to regret giving new 19-year-old goalkeeper Lloyd Rivers a second appearance (after debuting in a 1-1 draw with Zeugmaspor a week earlier) as he let in all but one of Eriskay’s five shots. It took until the stroke of half-time for Nathan Helleday to open the scoring with a free kick for the home team, but Lucas Jesus da Costa levelled five minutes after the break and Zenon Kalkowski’s free kick put Expression ahead just three minutes later. Wesley Bannerman promptly squared things up again on the hour, but Jordan Johnstone gave the Scots the lead again on 70’ and another Kalkowski free kick clinched things with two minutes to go. The result sees the two clubs swap places in 8th and 9th, with one point between them.

[Janik]

As is traditional, here is the intro to the Cup preview:-
This is who our sides will be taking on, and which Divisions they find themselves in aheadof the start of the league season:-

Round 1 draw - first listed teams home in opening leg

Alioth Womens Club (6:45)    vs    Zeugma Dostluk Spor
Arsenal Womens FC (6:22)    vs    Coxy Ladies Wulpen
Avanzadoras Sport Club (5:32)    vs    Dublin City Womens FC
F. C. Barcouço Ladies (6:53)    vs    Mauchline Belles
Boé da Fixe (5:25)        vs    Dathomir FC
Chicas UD (6:39)        vs    Ambient Cheese FC
MSV Duisburg Damen (6:38)    vs    Menywod Maeshafn
The Girls (6:37)        vs    Csiki Girls
Gökur AB (6:47)            vs    LNWR Locomotive
Gooners (6:31)            vs    ASU Politehnica
Invisible Ladies        vs    Warriors FC (5:18)
Jaseras (6:49)            vs    Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC
Lioness FC (6:23)        vs    Rising Stars
Pluriet (6:25)            vs    Cassiopeia
Reading Ladies (5:31)        vs    Bombay Green Rockets
Route 66 (6:19)            vs    Deerfield Durocs
Wolf Alice (6:44)        vs    Ullapool Northern Star
Wyllimo (6:24)            vs    Viking South Utsira

After claiming a title last time out Zeugma Dostluk Spor will feature in Division 3g for the coming season. But before that, in the Cup, they have a trip to India to take on Alioth Womens Club of Division 6:45. And then a return passage for the home second leg.
The busiest Division of the new season for derbies will be 4j, where Coxy Ladies Wulpen still find themselves but now alongside not one, but two fellow OTFers (see who that is below). Prior to those clashes The Waders have the Cup opening round to deal with, specifically Arsenal Womens FC of Division 6:22.
Play-off defeat means Dublin City Womens FC will be trying to climb out of Division 6:57 again in the new campaign. A win in Round 1 of the Cup last term though does mean greater status in that – The Molly Malones are now the seeds, and therefore at home for the return leg, when they take on higher division outfit Avanzadoras Sport Club of Division 5:32.
Mauchline Belles will be hoping not to draw so damn often in Division 4k in the new campaign. They would absolutely expect not to draw against Division 6:53’s F. C. Barcouço Ladies in the Cup, neither at Tarbolton Park nor in the first leg away from home.
Metropolis Ladies are no more. In their place rise Dathomir FC, who will have a new home competition alongside their new name and pitch as they swap over to Division 6:39. Metropolis actually won a round of the Cup last year despite their zombie state at the time… but whether Dathomir can do the same is arguable as they have received a tricky draw against Division 5:25’s Boé da Fixe, who seem to have focused on winning Division 6 last season. That might be a good template for Dathomir to emulate.
It is all change at Ken Higgs Avenue. In fact this road is an extremely long one as Hazeldean Inchmistress are no more despite still playing on the same street as the club has upped sticks to become Ambient Cheese FC. They will be a new Division as well – 6:42 (that is putting a positive spin on things!). As for the Cup, Cheese face Chicas, Chicas UD of Division 6:39 to be precise. Leg two is the one (elsewhere in) Framleyshire. Chicas are zombies, so it should be all over before that fixture, though.
Defeat in the play-offs means another go at Division 5:28 for Menywod Maeshafn. Prior to getting around to that the Welsh side face a trip to Germany for their Cup First Round First Leg match at MSV Duisburg Damen of Division 6:38.
Csiki Girls mid-table finish in Division 5:31 last season was far from mundane and routine – they will be hoping for a slightly less ‘enlivening’ campaign this time around. The Cup can provide respite if the league becomes too stressful again, assuming The Csiki’s get past The Girls of Division 6:37 in the opening round. The first leg is away, at a race course it seems…
Having powered to the Division 6:36 title last time out, LNWR Locomotive will be attempting to steam on through and claim the Division 5:18 crown this time around. If last year’s Cup First Round match is any indication they can do it – The Steamers pulled off a shock then to get out of the unseeded first round bind. Their reward is a simple opener away at Division 6:47 zombies Gökur AB.
Promotion via the play-offs has seen ASU Politehnica graduate from one Division with a fellow OTFer to another as they move up to Division 5:22 alongside… read on to find out! Whilst you are pondering who that might be (it’s fairly easy to guess) please also give a thought to The Scholars Cup First Round First Leg match away at Gooners of Division 6:31. A library style atmosphere ought to suit Politehnica!
Defeat in the late season OTF derby meant Invisible Ladies remained in the bottom tier for the new campaign, but not the same section of it as The See-Throughs swap over to Division 6:43. Invisible also lost in the opening round of the Cup last season, which means they open this one at home but do so as the lower seeds against Division 5:18’s Warriors FC.
Marching to promotion has elevated Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC up to Division 3e for the coming season. But before they get to sink their teeth into that The Sea Spirits need to deal with a Cup match at Division 6:49’s Jaseras.
Rising Stars ascended via the play-offs last season to become the second of the three OTF sides in Division 4j for the coming season. But it wasn’t just the league that was promising – The Stars also got through Round 1 of the Cup last term, which means they are the higher seeds and therefore away from home in the opening round this term. They visit Lioness FC of Division 6:23.
A successful rearguard action against relegation has kept Cassiopeia in Division 4n for another season. But before The Vainglories focus on that again, there is the little matter of the Cup First Round, First Leg at Pluriet, who are zombies ‘operating’ (if that really is the appropriate term for a managerless team…) out of Division 6:25.
As the team to survive the tight Division 5:22 relegation battle, Bombay Green Rockets get another go at the same section in the coming campaign. And with an OTF colleague once again, though not the same one. That is nice, but The Rockets have been unlucky in the Cup draw though – despite being a seed they find themselves paired with a fellow sixth tier side, Division 5:31’s Reading Ladies (5:31 is, of course, a Romanian-based Division. Reading is just outside Bucharest, apparently…).
Deerfield Durocs will debut in the fifth tier in Division 4g after their title win last term. However following the stumble over the line it may be a good thing they face zombies Route 66 of Division 6:19 first (opening leg away), just to get back to winning ways.
Side number three in Division 4j is another remaining there from last term – Ullapool Northern Star. As for the Cup, Polaris have been paired with moonlighting musicians Wolf Alice, who surreptitiously ply their trade in Division 6:44 of a Ladies Football (Online) League.
Viking South Utsira are going nowhere. In the league that is – The Blood Eagles remain in Division 1b for the new term. They are off on their travels in the Cup First Round though, heading to Division 6:24 zombies Wyllimo.

[lambers]

I just realised that after Aaron Williams' red card last Thursday, that the suspension isn't for the usual one match for the first red of their career (let alone season), but for FIVE games.

The game commentary simply states "Card: Aaron Williams, red card for dangerous play, Hampshire Deers". I suspect that's understatement.

[jdsx]

I just realised that after Aaron Williams' red card last Thursday, that the suspension isn't for the usual one match for the first red of their career (let alone season), but for FIVE games.

The game commentary simply states "Card: Aaron Williams, red card for dangerous play, Hampshire Deers". I suspect that's understatement.

Ooft I don't think I've ever seen a ban last for five games....that's the rest of the season! And you seem to be unlucky with an injury to your keeper today as well, although the Dragons seem to have gone easy on your young replacement keeper... ;-)

[lambers]

In the luck balancing column, it appears that Etienne was absent for that game. There must be something forgettable about my teams, as VA was absent for my last Hazers match.

[Various Artist]

Yes, a really ballsed-up version of missing a game, too: I'd done some X11 admin stuff and set up two other teams' tactics that morning, then opened up the Sandringham team page next but by that stage realised I had just had enough of X11 for one session. So went off and did other things for the afternoon – only remembering some 40 minutes after the Human League game, when I jauntily logged in again to set up my Xpert Zone side for that evening, that I'd never actually set the tactics. Felt awful not so much for us consequently losing, but because it directly affects the balance of the title race.


That suspension, though... whee-eeew. Five games?!? That's unreal, I don't think I've ever heard of a suspension lasting longer than 3 before, and even those are as rare as hen's teeth. 5 is stupendous bad luck.

[Various Artist]

Sorry this is even more close to the wire than usual, been busy and had to throw this together with an hour to go!

OTF League roundup for 4th July 2022: Season 68 Round 15

Division 3

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Wednesday de la Zouch are the first team promoted this season, after two goals from Richard Sampson proved the difference-maker in a 3-1 victory at rivals OWC Albion on Monday. It drops Albion to 4th on GD, and 10 points behind Weds with only 9 left to play for. Wednesday are also 6pts clear in the title race, with only Indigo Plateau still in reach after a 2-0 win at New Dresden (9th). Brutal Deluxe Redux draw level with OWC on points and go 3rd by 3 goals after hammering Pinewood Passers at the Theatre of Pies, midfielder Lothar Johannsen and forward Takashi Morioka notching a brace apiece before captain Johannsen hit two more to wrap up a four-timer and a 6-0 win.
Byss FC’s unlikely promotion hopes are realistically over after a late 1-0 defeat at Eintracht Midwest (6th), leaving 5th-placed Byss 6pts away from the last promotion slot. And in the lower midtable shuffle Brian Munchingflapjack came from behind to beat Great Northern Railway and knock GNR to 8th while they climb to 7th.

Division 2

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For the second straight week we had Banik Roystonov take top spot from Cods of War on Thursday followed by Cods retaking the summit on Monday. There were no goals in either team's match until 70 minutes in, whereupon Banik fell behind at Turd Division (5th) and had to fight back for an equaliser nine minutes later, which sparked Cods into belated action at Wharfedale Generals where Jon Nazib scored in the 83rd and 92nd minutes to put them back top by a point. Heffron Hendecagon in 3rd could yet take advantage of the cut-and-thrust ahead of them, with Gammon the Butler’s penalty enough to give them a key 1-0 home win over Wensleydale Blues (4th) – leaving the Hendos just 2pts behind Banik and now 4 ahead of Blues in the promotion race. Turds sits a point further back in 5th, then there is an 8-point chasm in midtable after which everyone else is in the relegation battle.
The other crucial goal of the day came at bottom side Veni Vici Vigata, where Mickey Hamilton’s strike late in the first half gave Kernow Kensa a vital 1-0 win that lifted the former league champions out of the dropzone and up to 6th. VVV are now six points from safety and could be relegated as soon as Thursday. Wharfedale fall one to 8th after their loss to Cods, where they sit a point behind Athletico Deva and a point ahead of Saltney Drawers after the Chester rivals thoroughly cancelled out in a mutually-destructive stalemate at the Wales-England Border that leaves both still in real danger.

Division 1

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Blimey it’s suddenly getting tight at the top in D1, with Monday’s top of the table clash at the Waveney Bowl seeing leaders Waveney Valley Swifts held 0-0 by 2nd-placed Steaua Bridge despite amassing 6 shots to 0 – a result that enabled Locomotiv Noj (3rd) to close right up behind the pair thanks to a 2-0 win at die Ambosse (9th) with both goals coming from Ioanneís Papagiannakis inside the opening 9 minutes. Otto Kopitsis missed a late penalty but still Noj move level on goal difference with WVS though a point behind, and level on points with Steaua though 5 goals behind. In 4th meanwhile Littlewoods Legends are only 3 points further back after coming from a goal down with quarter of an hour to play at home to Somers Town Sugar Imps, Harry Koch completing the turnaround with an 83rd-min solo winner.
That puts the 6th-placed Imps back in danger of being dragged into the relegation mix, just two points ahead of Portsmouth FC (8th) who grabbed a vital 2-0 home win over Csiki Monkeys that effectively ended the 5th-placed Monkeys’ promotion hopes – indeed at 7pts from 3rd and only 5 from 8th the latter are in more danger of the drop now. Meanwhile Azure Dragons (7th) held on for an important 3pts at home to bottom club Whoft Fluffopolis – though Whoft’s late consolation in a 2-1 defeat prevented Dragons from overtaking the Sugar Imps, instead of which they are dead level with Somers Town ahead on goals scored by 2.

OTF

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The title race was thrown into total flux in this last week, with suddenly-faltering league leaders Croesoswallt Dragons following up a 1-1 draw at Rejects Redux with back-to-back home defeats to reigning champions Dandy Town last Thursday – 2-1, from 1-0 up early on – then a more surprising 2-0 to Hampshire Deers on Monday. The lack of any subs’ bench suggests the Dragons may not have set up, and certainly they did not even conjure a shot despite veteran Deers stopper Miles Hadley being stretchered off and replaced by teenager Aziz Rasuli just 18 minutes in. Two goals from Dwight Allmark inside the last 20 minutes, his second an injury-time penalty, thrust a dagger in the heart of the Dragons’ hopes of a 14th title. It is also a huge boost to the Southern Cervines’ survival bid, the Deers up one place to 6th but also crucially 5 points clear of the bottom 3 with three games to go.
The other key game in both battles was at the Hollows, where Great Ouse Town (2nd) made the short trip upriver to Vita Mortis and emerged with a 2-1 victory through Mike Spencer’s 71st-minute winner that leaves them just a single point behind Croesoswallt and pushes Mortis down a place to 9th and deep into trouble. Eriskay Expression go back ahead of the Scythemen to 8th on goal difference, but their very quiet 0-0 home draw with the Dandies both intensified their own relegation fears and thrust a spanner in the works of the champions’ late-season resurgence -- they are slightly closer to the top of the table than they started the day, but 4pts still adrift and back down a place to 4th. Berkshire Swine are the side who move ahead of them on goals-scored, after Helmuth Seiffert’s 87th-min winner snatched all three points at relegated Rejects Redux to keep the Sty Council’s own title hopes still bubbling. And at Zeugmaspor’s Yeni Hach Kapisi stadium there was a key win for visitors Four Candles that affects both sides’ survival chances: the Candles overtake Zeugma by two points, as do the Deers, with Candles up to 5th on GD and Zeugma down to 7th. With only a 3pt gap back to the two sides just below the safety line, the Anatolians are in much the greatest danger of being sucked through the trapdoor in the final week of the campaign.

[nmrfox]

If you're going to leave it until the 15th game of an 18-game season to record your first victory, then you might as well do it in some style.

Whoft Fluffopolis 7 (seven) die Ambosse 0

[Various Artist]

Holy macaroni!

In contrast, Vita Mortis were attempting to leave it until our 9th and final home game to record a first win in front of our own supporters... and failed. We're technically still in the survival hunt but have basically accepted relegation at this point – one key element in our downfall being getting caught between a rock and a hard place on the goalkeeper front. It'd been coming for a long time, but 38-year-old Howard Stant has so visibly gone over the hill this season he's cost us points in several games, while our belated introduction of 19/6 academy prospect Lloyd Rivers has only cost us more: yesterday's 2-2 with already-down and winless Rejects Redux being a fine case in point, with Rivers' match rating not even matching his skill level. According to my Club Stats page, we've never failed to win at home for an entire season before, with 2 home victories being our previous nadir.


Ah well, I'll take consolation from Royal Atlantis retaining the Heineken League title with three games to play a week ago, despite our attempt at an undefeated season going up in smoke one game earlier. Particularly satisfying too was Monday's follow-up at Los Angeles Beachboys, who normally beat us no matter what I do or don't do tactically in the worst case of an inexplicable hoodoo I've ever encountered in X11 – and indeed still nearly hung on for a draw this time despite being outdone in every category. Then though our midfielder William Conqueror scored a 92nd-minute free kick to nick the win for us in thoroughly cathartic fashion.