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X11 season 45 - de rigueur Mortis

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    Sorry this is close to the wire (I was busy earlier), but here's a quick – hah! – roundup of the first day back in the OTF:

    OTF League roundup for 16th May 2022: Season 68 Round 1

    Division 3
    Two teams seemingly forever joined at the hip since their debuts in Season 57, New Dresden and Eintracht Midwest have spent most of their first 11 seasons in existence shuttling around the bottom tier. Midwest were promoted in S59 and stayed up for one term, before relegation after S60, while Dresden joined them in D2 for that latter season but came back down with them and have since made only one similarly brief upwards venture in S63. There is a slight sense of both clubs being on an upward turn now, though, emphasised by the pair ending day 1 in the top two slots in D3 after this Monday. Dresden had to do it the hard way, trailing 2-0 at the break at home to Brutal Deluxe Redux, but produced a tremendous fightback to level with two goals in three minutes early in the second period before snatching a stoppage-time winner -- rather harsh on BDR but enough to put them top of the inaugural table on goals scored. Midwest meanwhile faced off with another improving side, Indigo Plateau, but for all that the Flat-Tops’ youngsters are starting to mature their matchday side still only has an average age of about 22 and they were easily outplayed at the Isaac Bradley Memorial Stadium. That said, despite being outshot 4-1 in each half they took their one first-half chance to go in level, and made Eintracht work for a 2-1 win.
    Relegated OWC Albion sit 3rd after coming back from an early deficit to beat Brian Munchingflapjack 2-1 at home, Rotundio Tubesock scoring twice as many as he did all last season in D2 with a brace in 18 minutes to turn the game around before the interval. Their goalie Brexitus Miserablis was however injured two-thirds of the way through the match to leave Albion facing a tricky two or three games ahead without him.
    We all know how little poor 4twenties had going for them last season, having been founded as a brand new club in the close-season by a manager who never then actually turned up to coach them. Suffice to say then that the arrival of long-lost former OTF League favourite Harbinger of Hope on the eve of Season 68 to take charge was by a long margin the best thing ever to happen to them, low bar notwithstanding. The two-time former title-winning manager has been quick to rename them Byss FC, after the mysterious Deep Core world from the Star Wars galaxy, and the Force was clearly with him this week as he was lucky to get an easy ride in his first games in charge. A trip to the perennially mercurial Pinewood Passers is never quite a straightforward thing, mind – the club, judging by their skill levels, never train any of their players and generally have a hopeless squad, yet they keep doggedly hanging around year after year and every now and then will blindside opponents by suddenly splurging multi-million-econ sums on a clutch of super-high-skilled veterans to briefly make themselves competitive. Right now they’re at a low ebb, however, and in a clash of the league’s two bottom finishers last term it was Byss who snapped their 18-match losing streak by picking up not only their first point of all time but their first win. Frank “René” Zellweger wrote his name (though hopefully not that nickname) into the history books by slotting the only goal in the 12th minute at the Theatre of Pies. Next up they face young Indigo Plateau to try to consolidate their good start.
    In the remaining fixture, Wednesday de la Zouch beat Great Northern Railway 1-0 at the Benabau, in a meeting of two relegated sides. Wednesday, who have suffered two demotions on the trot, got off to a good start to their first D3 campaign in 7 seasons thanks to Sebastian Stoker. GNR, on the other hand, have never failed to get promoted from this tier (in Season 35 – their debut – then S59 and S65, their only three seasons down here, they won the division every time) but will now have to do it the hard way if they are to keep that up. They start the second matchday rock-bottom of the league.

    Division 2

    Speaking of rare excursions to the lower tiers, Banik Roystonov, of course, have never been below D1 level since spending their first two seasons of existence (S26-27) in D2, since when they’d spent the last 40 seasons in either D1 (19 campaigns) or the top flight (21). After spending a majority of their time among the elite, though, 11 of the last 13 seasons were in the second tier, and now for S68 the Roystonov outfit find themselves back at last in the third. Clearly, however, they do not intend to stick it for long, as their players kicked off their return to the lower half of the league looking mortally offended to be there, destroying unfortunate visitors Wharfedale Generals 6-1 at Moje Zahrada. Midfielder Tomas Jagr led the way with a first-half hat-trick, as the Generals got their own return to D2 off to a very poor start. Their maturing squad of youngsters had spent the last half-dozen seasons gradually improving from the bottom of the league to the second tier, but hit the wall last season and came right back down again and now have to pick themselves up from this absolute drubbing on day 1.
    Athletico Deva are starting their tenth straight season in a different division (having gone D1-2-1-2-1-2-3-2-3-2), and kicked off their biennial visits to Div 2 by setting out their case for leaving it in an upwards direction this time around. They comfortably controlled their game at Veni Vici Vigata and ran out 2-0 winners with both goals in the second half. Last season Cods of War finished ahead of Deva as unbeaten D3 champions, and kicked off the new term with a trip to a Turd Division side who were playing two tiers above them last season and who spent the first 7 games of it on top of Div 1 with their sights set on the top flight. It all fell apart in spectacular fashion from there however, culminating in an implausible relegation straight back to the third flight. And it was the upwardly-mobile side who came out on top at the Snoop, visitors Cods snatching a 1-0 win against the run of play through Urby Amadsalatoen’s late solo effort.
    After finishing 4th last season, this is Saltney Drawers' first consecutive seasons as low as the third tier since S50-51. They got the new term off on the wrong foot after going down 1-0 at home to Wensleydale Blues, Greg Sedbusk scoring from the visitors’ only chance after 13 minutes and Saltney only able to conjure one shot of their own in response. At Heffron Park, the last two seasons’ league Golden Boot winner Hugo Rune wasted no time in restarting his tally by notching the only goal for Heffron Hendecagon against Kernow Kensa om 74 minutes. S60 league champions Kensa suffered the further frustration three minutes later of losing 17-year-old sub Phillip Burt to injury just 11 minutes into his debut appearance.

    Comment


      Division 1
      Speaking of former champions, three of them line up at the top of D1 after winning their opening fixtures this Monday. S21-22 winners Steaua Bridge beat Azure Dragons 2-0 away, striker Esbjörn Fredlund doubling last season’s total by scoring both. S59 champs Somers Town Sugar Imps beat relegated die Ambosse by the same margin at the Stade Belinda Carlisle, and Waveney Valley Swifts (S41 titlists, as we know) held off AFC Csiki Monkeys 3-2 in an exciting affair at the Waveney Bowl.
      Two teams two tiers apart last season met at the Woods, where Littlewoods Legends were looking to build on their extraordinary 17-0-1 rampage through D2 last season when they met a Locomotiv Noj side who’d just had their fingers burned by the top flight for a second time. For 69 minutes there were no goals, then for 5 it looked like Littlewoods were going to do it after all when Alcino Alencar scored, but then 5 minutes later Otto Kopitsis levelled for Locomotiv and 5 minutes after that Alencar promptly scored at the other end to win it for Noj instead. Oops.
      A rare sighting of a draw came at Fratton Park, where Portsmouth FC fought back from two down to draw 2-2 with Whoft Fluffopolis. Dexter Sprockett and Rufus Brevity each notched soon after the break for the Fluffers, but Aquilino Montenegro quickly pulled one back before grabbing a late equaliser for Pompey.

      OTF

      Last season a fabulously competitive Div 1 ended with Hampshire Deers taking the title on goal difference from Eriskay Expression, while two points behind them Zeugmaspor nicked the third promotion slot out from under Csiki Monkeys’ noses on GD by a single goal. And it was Zeugma who built on that in their first day back in the top flight, when they went to a Deers side making their debut at the highest level after 12 seasons of slowly building through the lower divisions and spoiled the Southern Cervines’ party by winning 2-0 through an early Hamza Özil effort and Abdullah Özkan’s late clincher. The latter came after Deers’ day was already worsened when 29-year-old defender Caleb Waring, who arrived from the academy just three days after the club was founded in late January 2020, picked up his second booking on 85 minutes for his 6th career sending-off -- beating captain Ledley Key, with whom he was level on 5 apiece previously, for the ‘honour’ of their first top-tier dismissal.
      Vita Mortis and Berkshire Swine have faced each other in crucial midseason doubleheaders three campaigns in a row while both competing at the top end of the league in recent times, but broke the pattern by squaring off on opening day instead this time. And it was the Swine who maintained their recent good run at the Hollows by snatching a 1-0 away win through Karel Ruban’s goal just after the break in a game of few chances. At the Host of Trophies Past all the action came late on, Croesoswallt Dragons briefly looking like benefitting from Etienne’s decision to focus all his attention on them instead of adminning the OTF League when they took an 83rd-minute lead through Bernhard Holtan – only for Four Candles sub Rafael Vikander to smash home an 88th-minute equaliser for 1-1.
      Long-term fans of OTF football, including the returning HoH, will be reassured that historical 0-0 specialists Bournemouth Rejects are having their spirit kept alive by their successor club Rejects Redux, who held champions Dandy Town to a goalless draw at the Mack Mean Megadome on Monday – despite losing top defender Jörgen Kristenson to an early injury. There were likewise no goals at the Glen, where Eriskay Expression and Great Ouse Town cancelled out for the second season in succession there, after having previously only mustered three 0-0s and seven draws in total in their previous 51 encounters.

      Comment


        Shocks abound in the MLX, as the unheralded Xenomorphs steal a 1-0 win in the first round of the play-offs over second seeded Bucovina Blue Bison. And our goal came after we were reduced to 10 men. The Bison's manager does not appear to be happy...

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          Yep, the Putin supporter (check out his home page) has made himself look a proper twat there. If this game is so crap, how come he runs so many teams....

          Comment


            Ha, yes, that's a highly amusing rant. Well done, lambers.

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              Congratulations lambers, that was a well deserved victory. Some people really can't deal with losing. And then to read his "thoughts" on his page, yikes...

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                Oh dear. We'd best be prepared for tanks on the borders of Xanadu. HO, can you lend us a tractor?

                Comment


                  Well I congratulated you lambers, and so has Carlos06. With luck that will annoy the Bison fella further.

                  Comment


                    Dancing and high jinks in the streets of Wripple as the Vetivers win to ensure promotion to The Brythonnic Premiership and join Queues Likely in the Human League in playing top-flight football. How long both sides will last in their respective divisions isn't currently being contemplated, though hopefully one of them will do better than the up-down-up-down of Whoft Fluffopolis in the OTF (and not looking likely to return any time soon either).

                    Comment


                      Nice one Foxy, I look forward to the Derby of the Clashing Colours.

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                        Wonderful Foxy, well done!

                        Did I mention that Rćdfearne Island secured the title on Tuesday? What a weird but marvellous season it turned out to be. I might have to quit while I'm ahead here.


                        And lambers, I spotted that rant late last night when belatedly checking in to MLX after a busy day to sort out the Challenge Bowl QF draw. Well done indeed, that was an extraordinary result against a team in such form this season (UU produced a fine win against them a week or two back but they didn't even concede a goal in their other 13 league fixtures) and especially having been reduced to 10 men. One of the great MLX knockout performances, that, and one of those games that shows how the Lottery of the Playoffs™ is such a dangerous but brilliant thing. The meltdown it produced from the BBB manager was just the icing on the cake.

                        Comment


                          There’s an excellent “I’m not a sore loser” postscript today.

                          Various Artist very well done on getting the Brythonnic trophy off me. An emphatic performance.

                          Comment


                            OTF Season 68 Round 2 Round-Up

                            OTF

                            With apologies to VA, we will start at The Hollows, the venue for Hampshire Deers' first ever top-flight away game. It was a daunting prospect, you would think, taking on three-time champions and 87-time runners-up Vita Mortis, after losing their opening game at home to Zeugmaspor, but the new boys put in a spectacular performance. Dwight Allmark, the scorer of 31 goals across the last two seasons, got off the mark for the new campaign with a header on 12 minutes. Further chances came and went for the dominant Deers until Gerard Ferguson nodded in their second just before the interval, restoring their lead after Lance Porter had equalised minutes earlier. Mortis levelled again through Rene Vanden Borre at the start of the second period, but the Deers were not to be denied the victory they deserved, wrapping up a 4-2 win with goals from Lloyd Lowry and Leigh Kerrigan in the last 20 minutes. The Deers' first top-flight points leave them in 5th place in the early table, while Mortis find themselves at the bottom. At the other end are newly promoted Zeugmaspor. Twice title winners, they have spent six of the last seven seasons away from the top tier, but suggested they might be hanging around for a while by rattling three second-half goals past the notoriously parsimonious Rejects Redux defence. Mind you, Waveney Valley Swifts were top after the first two games last season and they regret ordering the champagne then, I can tell you. The Rejects sit just above Mortis in 9th and play them next. There was a dramatic finish at the Host of Trophies Past, where Helmuth Seiffert thought he had rescued a point for Berkshire Swine with an 89th-minute header, but Croesoswallt Dragons went straight up the other end, nearly, and clinched a 2-1 win with a long-ranger from Cliff Anthony. The Dragons climb to 2nd, the Swine fall to 6th. Defending champions Dandy Town were in a spot of bother at the halfway stage of their game at Great Ouse Town, struggling to get hold of the ball and trailing to Jeffrey Redman's free kick. But they posed a greater attacking threat in the second period and won the game with goals on the break from Guiseppe De Liguori and Teodor Jirousek - the first of his career. They are up to 3rd, Ouse are down to 7th. Vukosav Ignjatovic struck the only goal of the game as Four Candles beat visitors Eriskay Expression, though both teams ended up falling down the table, the Candles to 4th and Eriskay to 8th.

                            Division 1

                            Four teams have won their opening two D1 fixtures and have already opened up a four-point advantage over the rest. Leading the way are Somers Town Sugar Imps, comfortable 3-0 winners at Azure Dragons, 19-year-old midfielder Radek Kaldner setting them on the path to victory with a goal 24 minutes into his debut. Referee Constance Paine, meanwhile, will surely face disciplinary action for allowing the clashiest of colour clashes. There was also a 3-0 away success for Waveney Valley Swifts, their path to victory at die Ambosse eased by the 57th-minute dismissal of home goalkeeper Damian Stivala, though they were already two goals ahead by then. Injuries galore at The Woods, but Esbjörn Fredlund and Elliot Casey managed to dodge the carnage to score the goals that were enough to see Steaua Bridge to a 2-1 victory over hosts Littlewoods Legends. Completing the quartet of 100%-ers are Locomotiv Noj, who came out on top in a lively game with Portsmouth FC (still?), Otto Kopitsis thumping in what proved to be the decisive strike in their 2-1 win. The four teams beaten in those games make up the bottom four, with Portsmouth the only one among them to have registered a point so far. The final game, therefore, featured the two teams in the middle, Whoft Fluffopolis and AFC Csiki Monkeys, and, fittingly, they shared the points, though only thanks to a late equaliser from the Fluffers' Arthur Manbiscuit.

                            Division 2

                            Carrying the momentum of their unbeaten Season 67 campaign into the new season, Cods of War top D2 with wins from their opening two games. Opponents Saltney Drawers lost young defender Eliseu Vargas to injury after just seven minutes, and his considerably more experienced replacement, Theofanis Kapatsis, lasted only 26 minutes himself before collecting a straight red. The Cods took advantage to win with two second-half goals. Wensleydale Blues have kicked off with a pair of 1-0 wins to join the Cods on six points. Their winning goal against Athletico Deva came just three minutes from time and was headed home by captain Sam Snaizeholme. 36-year-old Snaizeholme will no doubt be thinking about retirement in the not-too-distant future after turning out for Wensleydale on 236 occasions over 18 seasons. He will be comforted to know that, when he sits in front of the fire reminiscing in the years to come, he will now have at least one goal to reflect upon. Heffron Hendecagon and Banik Roystonov sit behind the leading pair on four points each after a late equaliser from Vaclav Lavanchech earned Banik a 1-1 draw at Heffron Park. Each of Kernow Kensa, Turd Division, Veni Vici Vigata and Wharfedale Generals picked up their first point to leave Saltney as the only pointless side. The Turds and Kernow played out a goalless draw at The Snoop, while Derrick Waddle struck an equaliser eight minutes from time to give VVV a share of the spoils at Wharfedale.

                            Division 3

                            Hitting the top of D3 are Eintracht Midwest, who scored three times in the second half to overcome their hosts, Brian Munchingflapjack. The Flapjacks had Michael Henderson sent off in stoppage time and are one from bottom after opening with two defeats. Two goals from Richard Sampson gave Wednesday de la Zouch the points at New Dresden, and they join Midwest on two wins from two. The new management team has certainly tightened things up at Byss FC, and their second clean sheet in a row (after managing none at all in their existence before then) gave them a point from a scoreless draw at Indigo Plateau and takes them into the top three. Plateau plateau in 8th. Rowley Cowling finished off two swanky free kick routines to set Great Northern Railway on their way to a straightforward 3-0 win over Pinewood Passers, who have hit the bottom and can probably be expected to stay there. But you never know with them. A red card for Rowan Herbert completed another miserable day for the Passers. GNR are one of four teams on three points, along with Dresden, OWC Albion and Brutal Deluxe Redux. The latter two met at Albion's Colosseum of Dread, with the away side emerging victorious, overturning a half-time deficit with three goals after the break.

                            Comment


                              Ahh, thanks for putting us on first HO, I'd not actually seen my scoreline until then! Eek. Shades of our poor start – and middle – to last season, which also included donated a first-ever top tier win to new boys, in the shape of die Ambosse in that case.

                              Re Snaizeholme, it's always great to see a veteran player (generally a defender) score a first ever goal hundreds of games into their career – I'm invariably rather pleased to spot it while stat-digging as part of my own writeups.

                              I wonder if Pinewood's plunge to the foot of the league could provoke one of those periodic splurges that I mentioned in my previous report? All depends on if geejaytee has 20 million or thereabouts in the bank right now...

                              Comment


                                Week 9 of Season 65 of the Official Xpert 11 Ladies League report.

                                Code:
                                Division 1b
                                
                                Viking South Utsira    1 - 0    Careeerwoman Blues
                                T.Klovning 41'
                                
                                
                                Division 2b
                                
                                Drakaina        2 - 0    Sebago Town FC
                                Heggarty 78'
                                Nylund 86'
                                
                                
                                Division 3e
                                
                                Mauchline Belles    2 - 2    Watergate Bay Surfers
                                Hackett 2'            Hardenne 17'
                                Lauder 79'            den Gert 62'
                                
                                
                                Division 4i
                                
                                Warriors FC        0 - 1    Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC
                                                Sumanti 48'
                                
                                
                                Division 4j
                                
                                Coxy Ladies Wulpen    2 - 1    Red Dead Heads
                                Peeters 58'            Irandoost 49'
                                Roosens 79'
                                
                                Gregorys Girls        0 - 2    Ullapool Northern Star
                                                MacKintosh 74'
                                                Klovning (pen) 76'
                                
                                Division 4m
                                
                                Zeugma Dostluk Spor    3 - 3    Chuchas United
                                Kulakova 44'            Bonano 12'
                                Karakan (pen) 64'        Finney 22'
                                Della Morte 69'            Milito 85'
                                
                                
                                Division 4n
                                
                                Cassiopeia        0 - 0    FCT Queens
                                
                                
                                Division 5:14
                                
                                Deerfield Durocs    2 - 0    Pendleton En Lycra
                                Millen 2', 55'
                                                Svenson (sent off) 64'
                                
                                
                                Division 5:19
                                
                                1492er            3 - 3    Rising Stars
                                Bagshaw 10'            Veríssimo 28'
                                Sarges 46'            Elgeuse 60', 77'
                                Ford 93'
                                
                                
                                Division 5:22
                                
                                Flick of the Wrist    1 - 3    Hazeldean Inchmistress
                                Redman 58'            Bunton 31'
                                                Bringevik 65'
                                                Dekoninck 86'
                                
                                Harmonic Convergence    1 - 3    Bombay Green Rockets
                                Svedberg 63'            Baumann 16'
                                                Reynolds 78'
                                                Pöhlmann 89'
                                
                                
                                Division 5:28
                                
                                Menywod Maeshafn    0 - 1    Aegean Coast Ladies
                                                Vaitilo 67'
                                
                                
                                Division 5:31
                                
                                Sekler Femina FC    0 - 1    Csiki Girls
                                                Birch 4'
                                
                                
                                Division 6:36
                                
                                Bury Ladies        1 - 5    LNWR Locomotive
                                Hellerstedt 43'            Hamshahri 57'
                                                Sassounian 59'
                                                Diana 62'
                                                Sarkessian 71'
                                                Lampon 90'
                                
                                
                                Division 6:44
                                
                                Aston Villa Women FC    0 - 4    Invisible Ladies
                                                Clark 10', 86'
                                                Stonie 38', 76'
                                
                                ASU Politehnica        1 - 1    London Ladies FC
                                Tilbe 24'            Lundahl 15'
                                
                                
                                Division 6:51
                                
                                Metropolis Ladies FC    5 - 0    Olympique Bojou Ladies
                                Barnes 1', 13'
                                Moniz 11'
                                Hochimin 17', 32'
                                
                                
                                Division 6:57
                                
                                Dublin City Womens FC    5 - 0    Brent
                                Calbhach 17'
                                Joyce 39', 59'
                                Timmermans 68'
                                Gruszka 83'
                                A comprehensive defeat the previous Tuesday against the league leaders had left Viking South Utsira looking below them before they glanced above when they hosted Careeerwoman Blues.
                                The Blood Eagles badly needed a victory in this one to put some daylight between themselves and their visitors, who sat seventh in the Division 1b table, but also the drop zone in general as VSU had been sucked to within a single point of that. Whether Velvet Android’s girls could achieve that was questionable in a first half where they had more of the play and shaded the chances created, but with both teams having plenty.
                                Despite all the openings only one goal was scored in the opening period. It came towards the end of it… and went the way of hosts Viking, Tyra Klovning heading home in the 41st minute. It was a strike that would prove to be enough for the win as The Blood Eagles closed things down after the break, allowing the Blues no more chances at all.
                                The win lifted VSU back up to fourth in the 1b table, but possibly most importantly closer on points to the play-off spot (three adrift of this) than they now are to the drop zone (fourth points behind Viking now).

                                Relegation threatened Drakaina knew that if they wanted to remove that description and get to where opponents their matchday 9 opponents Sebago Town FC were instead (i.e. chasing promotion) then they ideally needed to win this game. And then win the next, and the one after that as well…
                                But first things first for Etienne’s side – beat Sebago. This didn’t look the most likely outcome of the match in a first half which the visitors to Delphi shaded, Sebago not making any chances but having more of the ball as The Dragons were also without an effort in anger. The Greeks picked up their efforts after the break though, gaining a majority of the ball and then doing stuff with it. Stuff such as Gael Heggarty’s 78th minute opening goal, and Dagny Nylund’s clinching second on 86.
                                The importance of the win is clear from Drakaina still being in Division 2b’s drop zone despite collecting it. But now the sixth-placed Dragons are only a point adrift of fifth… and also just six points away from the play-off spot. You have to aim large when you are a Dragon!

                                Mauchline Belles’ 9th attempt this season to get their first Division 3e win saw them playing host to mid-table Watergate Bay Surfers.
                                The game started in rather wild fashion, Watergate Bay having a goal in the very first minute disallowed… and The Belles sweeping forward straight from that free-kick with a move that ended with Lorna Hackett firing home. Ref Dick Tator was happier with Hackett’s effort than the Surfers one. The Belles lead only lasted until the 17th minute though, Watergate getting the ball past Mauchline goalie Roza Belova to Tator’s satisfaction this time.
                                The Ayrshire lasses were on the back foot for most of the first half, but even more so after the break as the Surfers began adding chances to what was already ample possession. The visitors took the lead on 62 minutes, only to be pegged back in unlikely fashion when Angel Lauder fired home from long range for a completely against the run of play equaliser.
                                That salvaged a point for Jdsx’s side, which in the circumstances of the game was a good one… but in 3e table terms was just another non-win. The Belles stay bottom of the table, and are now seven points behind fifth place.

                                Top visited bottom in Division 4i when leaders Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC headed to Warriors FC.
                                Given the positions of the two sides Sea Spirits boss SeanoftheShed had some reasons to be a little concerned as the game reached half-time in pretty well a stalemate, Kanjeng having had slightly more of the ball than their hosts but not notably so. And they only made one chance from that possessional edge. However Sea Goddesses fans nervous about where this could potentially be heading were re-assured just three minutes into the second half when Utami Sumanti struck to give them the lead.
                                Was this the sign for a stronger second half with KRK pulling away for a comfortable win? Er, no. Instead it was the signal for the visitors to shut up shop and put their supporters through the wringer for the remaining time until they saw out an edgy 1-0 success.
                                But see if out is what the Indonesians did, the win keeping them four points clear of second in 4i, and now twelve ahead of third.

                                Coxy Ladies Wulpen were looking to consolidate and improve upon their recent upturn in form and also put some distance between themselves and fellow Division 4j strugglers Red Dead Heads when the pair met at The Curlew’s Nest.
                                For 50-odd minutes it didn’t look like The Waders would be doing any such thing as Red Dead had the better of the game and took a lead they probably merited on 49 minutes. However the decisive moments of the match turned out not to be that strike but events three minutes before and three minutes after it…
                                The before was the Red Dead manager making a triple substitution, and the after was one of the players meant to finish the game doing so rather early after she picked up a red cross injury. That left Red Dead playing 38+ minutes with just 10 players. It didn’t take Coxy Ladies long to exploit their opponents numerical shortfall, Morgane Peeters firing in the equaliser on 58 minutes. Janik’s side took longer to find the winner though, also needed multiple openings before Laetitia Roosens stepped up with a direct free-kick on 79 minutes.
                                Ullapool Northern Star were up against on of The Waders peers in the relegation scrap when they headed to Abronhill Park to take on Gregorys Girls. Not that the struggles of their hosts matter to promotion hunters Polaris though, who continue to gaze up into the heavens rather than down to the mundane.
                                UNS fans observed a strong performance from Delicatemoth and her charges, The Stars having a clear advantage in possession and chances both before and after the interval. The breakthrough took a while to arrive for the Highlanders, but their pressure paid eventually when Hellen MacKintosh speared home a free-kick in the 74th minute. Deflated, Gregorys Girls almost immediately gave away a penalty that Renate Klovning converted (76), the game going from contests to completely decided within a three minute spell.
                                Despite neither OTF side changing positions in the 4j on the back of their wins, Polaris remain second and Wulpen fifth, both saw their overall situation improve. For Ullapool this was down to first and third drawing, a result that saw Northern Star gain ground on both – they are now four points behind leaders Invictus and three points ahead of the side now up to third in the standings. As for The Waders, their win and Gregorys Girls defeat [thanks dm!] means the Flanders side are four points clear of the relegation zone.

                                Comment


                                  Zeugma Dostluk Spor may have been top and their matchday 9 visitors Chuchas United fifth in Division 4m at kick-off of their encounter at the Insan Haklari Stadyumu, but there wasn’t as much between the sides as that implied – the points differential was only four.
                                  However even given the more-difficult-on-virtual-grass nature of the game it was still a big shock for AntepliEjderha’s side to find themselves 2-0 down midway through the first half. It took the Anatolians a while to get over this, but they did get back into the game in the penultimate minute of the opening half when Veronika Kulakova struck from long range.
                                  That lifted ZDS for the second half. But not as much as ref Frank Redkard awarding them a penalty after 64 minutes did, especially once Nuray Karakan had stuck it away to draw the scores level. Flush with confidence Zeugma attacked with gusto and scored again just five minutes further on, Delfina Della Morte completing the turn around.
                                  But the match was not quite done yet – Della Morte’s go ahead goal came in the 69th minute. That was long enough that it was likely that Chuchas would have at least one chance to level up again. In fact they had plenty, outshooting ZDS 8-6 in the match. And did indeed fight back to claim a point in the 85th minute.
                                  Zeugma could have been knocked from the 4m summit as a result of their draw. But they weren’t as nearest rivals Queirela FC were having a worse day (beaten 4-0!). Instead ZDS’ advantage was simply cut back to a single point.

                                  Cassiopeia had climbed out of the Division 4n relegation zone recently with a good run of results that started by beating FCT Queens on their own turf. Do it again at Agora Aethiopia and The Vainglories would be well clear of trouble.
                                  But it wasn’t to be for Stormstopper’s side on this occasion. Some might argue that Cassiopeia deserved the win in the game, having made all three of the chances going. Others would state they were fairly lucky simply to get a draw having had under 40% possession in the match. But either way they didn’t score or concede, so ended a pretty tame affair a point better off overall and still where they had been in the Division 4n table. Roughly
                                  That is four points clear of trouble, though now The Vainglories sit fourth instead of fifth. They are also only three points adrift of second and the chance to go up another level…

                                  Chatter about Deerfield Durocs upcoming Cup Round 6 encounter may have buzzed around the Deerfield MA stadium ahead of The Swine’s game against Pendleton En Lycra. But SitsWithRemote was emphasising to his players that they couldn’t think about that when league points were on the line and there was a Division 5:14 title to chase.
                                  Susanna Millen was clearly listening as she put Deerfield ahead as early as the 2nd minute. That goal made the game pretty comfortable for the hosts, but a second would have made it more so. Idde Brugge thought she had it on 34 minutes, only for that to be disallowed by Constance Paine. That left it to Millen to do the honours instead on 55.
                                  A two goal lead isn’t a certain win, but a 2-0 lead against 10 pretty well is. And that is where Deerfield found themselves on 64 minutes after Paine took considerable exception to Pendleton’s Nelly Svenson, showing her a straight red card for dissent.
                                  That dismissal allowed The Durocs to cruise through the rest of the match, points in the bag and their position as 5:14 leaders protected. They stay five points clear of second and twelve ahead of third. But now the Cup could be the centre of attention…

                                  Rising Stars had a promotion push to maintain when they headed to 1492er – The Ascenders arriving as the middle ranked side in a very tight three-way contest, a point behind Division 5:19’s leaders and only goal difference ahead of third.
                                  Neither of those two were their hosts 1492er, who were instead involved in the relegation battle. Which made it all the more frustrating for Blamb and his troops when the home side went ahead not once, but twice striking on 10 minutes and then again on 46. Érica Veríssimo had levelled things up at 1-1 for The Stars between those two home efforts (28 minutes) and Bette Elgeuse did likewise on the hour to bring things back to 2-2.
                                  Rising had actually conceded on both of their opponents first two attempts on goal, but now they began to see shots (which were rare) off, and that gave a platform for Elgeuse to get The Ascenders noses in front on 77 minutes. It looked like being the winner, only, very frustratingly, for the home side to snatch a barely deserved draw with an equaliser of their own deep into stoppage time.
                                  Having victory snatched away for late can’t avoid feeling like two points dropped for The Stars. But there was unexpected good news from the day as the side in third, GAI Ladies, were also hit by a late leveller. That keeps Rising second in the 5:19 table, though now they are three points adrift of leaders The Effing Blinders.

                                  A recent and distinct uptick in form for Hazeldean Inchmistress had moved The Imperials to within striking distance of climbing out of the Division 5:22 relegation zone for the first time this season. And Foxy265’s girls had the ideal opportunity to pounce on their chance when they visited bottom-of-the-table Flick of the Wrist.
                                  The first half was a hard-fought affair, with the ball not staying in either side’s possession for long as the tackles snapped in. In fact, the half ended with the stats 50% each. Chances were not quite equal, the Framleyshire side having two to their hosts one. And neither was the only stat that actually matters – the score. This read 1-0 to Inchmistress at the interval thanks to Karen Bunton’s strike on 31 minutes, the forward reacting quickest to a loose ball after a corner to prod home.
                                  The second half followed the same pattern of the ball being shared equally, but with chances tipped in Hazeldean’s favour. Oh, and goals as well again. Which is good news. And that despite Flick being the next to score, levelling matters on 58 minutes. The scores were only tied to the 65th minute though before Jennie Bringevik rose to restore The Imperials advantage, Jessica Dekoninck adding a sealing third on 86 minutes with the first goal of the match scored with the feet when she finished a breakaway.
                                  Hazeldean’s improved run has seen them closing on OTF rivals Bombay Green Rockets in recent weeks. The Imperials would move ahead of HKS3’s side with a win… which we know they got, though that is something The Rockets wouldn’t have been aware of before their game at Harmonic Convergence.
                                  There were comfortably enough reasons known in advance for Bombay to want to chase this game… such as the knowledge that a win would see them leapfrog their hosts and climb out of the 5:22 drop zone themselves! Well motivated, Barbara Baumann fired her side ahead from range on 16 minutes, a lead The Green Rockets held until well after the break.
                                  Just like the Flick-Inchmistress game despite being on top and deservedly ahead Bombay were not able to extend their advantage to 2-0, which meant that when Convergence got a goal against the run of play the score was back at 1-1. However, also like the other match, this state of affairs didn’t pertain for long, Becky Reynolds turning in a corner on 78 minutes to restore Bombay’s advantage.
                                  The final score would be 3-1 to the away side as, just like the other game, there was a late goal from the OTF outfit to seal things, Eileen Pöhlmann the player to deliver it in this game.
                                  A very good day for our sides in 5:22 then, one that got better when finding out Luculenus had only drawn with the leaders (and even that was more than expected), which meant that not only Bombay but also Hazeldean edged their way clear of the drop zone. The Green Rockets have flown up to fourth in the table, whilst Inchmistress have also climbed two spots to fifth. Both are not two points clear of danger… and just six adrift of the play-off spot. Just saying’, right?

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                                    The top four in Division 5:28 were also facing each other as Menywod Maeshafn (second) hosted Aegean Coast Ladies (fourth), whilst elsewhere the sides top and third went at it.
                                    That provided a possible chance for Maeshafn to close the gap on the leaders… or extend the gap on third, depending on what happened in the other game… and assuming Maeshafn would win theirs. That looked a reasonable supposition in the first half as IsThatcherDeadYet’s girls had 60% of the ball and 100% of the chances (albeit only 2/2 in terms of sights of goal before the break).
                                    Unfortunately for the Welsh side they didn’t score either of their first half openings, and then made none at all after the break despite still holding three-fifth of the ball. To make matters worse when Aegean finally created their first chance of the game on 67 minutes, they stuck it away!
                                    A gutting and rather unfair outcome for the Welsh girls, mitigated only by the other relevant game having the best possible result (a draw), results that leave Maeshafn still second, but only a point now clear of third.

                                    As very few points separated top from seventh in Division 5:31, any match is basically a key game. So Csiki Girls visit to Sekler Femina FC was that, with the specifics being a win would see The Csiki’s leapfrog their hosts and climb out of a relegation place, pushing Sekler into one.
                                    With that in mind, Georgia Birch scoring after just 4 minutes to put Ad hoc outfit ahead was quite good news, in a really good news being quietly undersold kind of way. Particularly as if any side is built to hold on to an early 1-0 advantage in a key game, it’s the Transylvanians.
                                    They did their thing protecting the narrow advantage, holding 60% possession in the first half and 58% overall whilst not over-committing to attack (only one more chance was made) but holding Sekler at arm’s length very comfortably – the hosts didn’t have a single chance in the match! Not even after the visitors were disrupted late on by losing defender Megan Hodge to a nasty 20-day injury in second half stoppage time.
                                    The result of the win was Csiki Girls jumping two places up the 5:31 table, moving up to fourth. They are now two points clear of the drop zone. Which is also the point gap to the play-off place. And only three points adrift of the leaders. It remains all very tight in this section.

                                    One of the potentially trickier banana skins for LNWR Locomotive to avoid in their Division 6:36 title push was the trip to Gigg Lane to take on mid-table and human-managed Bury Ladies.
                                    The first half gave evidence of exactly what could go wrong for The Steamers – they were the better side across the 45 minutes, with three chances to Bury’s one and 53% possession, but needed some luck when Bury had an 18th minute goal disallowed and ended the half 1-0 down anyway after the Lancashire side scored legitimately in the 43rd minute.
                                    Half-time was a chance for Locomotive boss Viktor Boskovic to stoke up his side to play better after the break. The Steamers gradually built momentum, until they were going like a runaway train around the hour mark. First Niloufar Hamshahri equalised with a long range shot (57 minutes), and then, just two minutes later (59) Sirouhi Sassounian put the visitors ahead by finishing off a free-kick move. LNWR were thundering along now, going 3-1 up just another three minutes down the line, Gia Diana turning in a corner.
                                    The Steamers eased back off the regulator a little after this, but were still going at a good lick adding two more goals in the remaining time. Defender Taleen Sarkessian made it 4-1 on 71 minutes by heading home a corner for the first goal of her senior career, her fellow back four member Sabela Lampon also getting a rare strike (her second for The Steamers) in the 90th minute.
                                    Despite the exciting comeback The Steamers hadn’t done quite enough to retain top spot in the 6:36 table as title rivals KrYptiX beat a zombie 8-0 to take over on goal difference. But that was an issue for another day – this was one to glory in the turn around that happened after the break.

                                    Invisible Ladies headed to Aston Villa Women FC with the teams in very contrasting form – The See-Throughs were flying with five wins from their previous six games, a spell during which Villa had played six, lost six!
                                    It took Pebblethefish’s side just 10 minutes to get the match running on the expected lines, heading The See-Throughs ahead. The visitors were to dominate possession in the rest of the first half, extending their advantage towards the end of it when Harriet Stonie fired home a second.
                                    There was little sign of a Villa comeback after the break. None at all in fact as Invisible maintained a stranglehold on affairs. The visitors were to add a further pair of goals in the latter stages of the match, each of the first half scorers on target again as Stonie made it 3-0 on 76 minutes and Clark completed the scoring on 86, both with headers.
                                    Invisible pulling off their predicted win meant they were in position to take advantage of whatever happened in the big clash between ASU Politehnica and Division 6:44 leaders London Ladies FC.
                                    The match got off to an entertaining start as the teams exchanged goals, London going ahead on 15 minutes only for Pakize Tilbe to level for The Scholars with a direct free-kick on 24. The first half ended 1-1, which was a fair reflection on an even game.
                                    The Timisoara crowd settled in to prepare for an explosive second period, hoping that Granthamian’s charges would be the ones to sparkle. But what actually happened was the match turned into a damp squib as the sides cancelled each other out for the remainder – the first part of the match proving to be where all the action was rather than what it appeared to promise of a spectacular game.
                                    A draw was still a decent result for Politehnica of course, as it was just the second match this season that London haven’t won. It keeps the students second in the 6:44 table, two points back of the leaders. But the draw also allowed Invisible to close on the top two, The See-Throughs staying third but now only a point behind The Scholars.

                                    Matchday 9 saw us welcome Harbinger of Hope to the ranks of Official Ladies League managers. He has taken over at Division 6:51 side Metropolis Ladies FC and had a nice gentle introduction to his time at the Metropolis Stadium as the first match in charge was against bottom of the table zombies Olympique Bojou Ladies, who arrived in the big city pointless and goalless.
                                    Midfielder Jo Barnes is one of the stars of the Metropolis side. She was clearly happy to be playing in a team with direction again. In fact it took her just seconds to open the scoring, firing home a corner. She would also get her side’s third with a header on 13 minutes. In between Barnes two strikes Sandrine Moniz was on target, turning home from Barnes’ assist (free-kick) on 11 minutes.
                                    There were two more goals before half-time for Metropolis, both scored by Chisola Hochimin on 17 and 32 minutes, a shot from open play and a header from a corner respectively. At that point Metropolis felt replete and knocked off, presumably preserving energy for trickier games to come…
                                    HoH’s side are seventh in the 6:51 standings right now, with six two points in front of them.

                                    Our last fixture this week was also a zombie killing fest as Dublin City Womens FC hosted managerless Brent.
                                    Dublin boss Mortal Joe took advantage of the likely straightforward win to send out a young and exciting front line featuring two 19 year-olds, Neasa Calbhach and Ailís Joyce. Only Calbhach had ever scored as a professional before, and not very many in her case so the 17th minute opener she got was still a special moment. But not as special as it was for Joyce when she got her first senior goal in her 19th senior match by turning home a corner sent across by her strike partner in the 39th minute.
                                    Having finally got her first, Joyce doubled her career total with a second on 59 minutes to make the score 3-0 to Dublin. That was still a bit underwhelming as a total so The Molly Malones continued to press, adding two further strikes through Emma Timmermans (68 minutes) and Elwira Gruszka (83).
                                    The simple win kept Dublin second in the Division 6:57 table, four points behind leaders Secunda FC and goal difference ahead of Homers Damer in third.

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                                      Official Ladies League Cup, Season 65, Round 6. How far can The Swine go?

                                      Code:
                                      Deerfield Durocs    1 - 2    Lekneshagen Damelag
                                      Brugge 5'            Hogan 21'
                                                      Dilberis 37'
                                      Round 6 was as far as Deerfield Durocs had gone in any guise in the Cup, and significantly further than in any previous season under current boss SitsWithRemote (wherever he had the team located). To make it the best ever, ever, ever in franchise history meant beating Division 3 side Lekneshagen Damelag though.
                                      This seemed very possible 5 minutes into the game when Idde Brugge gave The Swine the prefect start by heading home player-of-the-match Zoya Buzunova’s cross. However the lead only lasted until the 21st minute before Lekneshagen drew level. That was the first chance either side made in the match – the third opening of the game in the 37th minute also went in… but that just made it 2-1 against The Durocs.
                                      The Swine tried to fight back after the break, but found Lekneshagen a tough nut to crack – they only made one more chance in the match, exactly as many as they gave up. Overall it was a good battle and no-one would say Deerfield were at all embarrassed, but in the end the better team won and it’s Lekneshagen who head to Round 7 whilst The Durocs just have their memories.

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                                        Thanks Janik. It’s a shame, but <cliche alert> we really do have to focus on the league.

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                                          Keep up mate, that's what the rest of us have been doing for weeks already...

                                          Thanks Janik, glad to give you something nicer to report on at VSU last week. I haven't seen yesterday's results so far, mind.

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                                            Sorry for the delay here, I couldn't post this earlier as the boards kept crapping out on me.

                                            OTF League roundup for 23rd May 2022: Season 68 Round 3

                                            Division 3
                                            Eintracht Midwest’s winning start was ended in a 2-1 defeat at OWC Albion, for whom experienced pair In-Hwan Du and Buck Aneering-Hedda both scored before the leaders could pull one back late on through Roland Anders’ free kick – a comeback snuffed out by the stoppage-time dismissal of Midwest sub Carl England. That enabled Wednesday de la Zouch to take over at the top, the only side still on 100% after beating Brutal Deluxe Redux (7th) 2-0 at the Benabau. New Dresden are up to 3rd on GD after an Emile van Vechten hat-trick saw them to a 3-0 win at bottom club Pinewood Passers, his third coming just four minutes before he had to hobble off after a foul by Passers defender Dion Gardiner. Dresden ended with 10 men after midfielder “Little” Timmie Wallenström was sent off, but they and OWC are both up three places.
                                            Making way are Deluxe (7th), Great Northern Railway (5th) who drew 0-0 at home with Indigo Plateau (9th), and Byss FC (6th) who suffered their first defeat under Harbinger of Hope in a 3-1 home reverse to Brian Munchingflapjack. Excellently-named teenager Job de Lange scored a second-half brace to help the Flapjacks to their first points of the season and lift them to 8th.

                                            Division 2

                                            Unstoppable Cods of War keep on grinding out results, on Monday defeating last season’s promotion partners Athletico Deva 1-0 at the Enormodome with an Urby Amadsalatoen strike early in the second half to make it six straight league wins divided across the season break – and 16 from their last 18 matches. Deva drop to 6th; Cods stay top with the sole remaining 100% record, though their 4 goals so far are less than half that scored by Banik Roystonov who climb to 2nd after beating Kernow Kensa (8th) 2-0 at Moje Zahrada. Heffron Hendecagon are also up one to 3rd after a 2-0 win of their own over the other promoted side Veni Vici Vigata (9th), with Wensleydale Blues down two to 4th after dropping their first points in a 1-1 draw at Wharfedale Generals (7th) where they were unlucky to concede to the hosts’ only attempt.
                                            Elsewhere, there was some good news at last for Turd Division. AuntieBeryl’s side won four of their first five matches last term in Division 1 and topped the table after each of the first seven rounds, yet only won twice more all season and ended up relegated. On Monday though they picked up just their third victory since mid-March, a 2-0 at the Snoop over Saltney Drawers, whose miserable start to the new season continued when Clem Fandango missed a penalty to equalise at 0-1 down to Codrut Gardeanu’s early strike. Sjonnie Boersma eventually made the game safe for Turds in the last minute, vaulting them to 5th but leaving Saltney still pointless and goalless at the foot of the table.

                                            Division 1

                                            Last season, we saw a ferociously competitive D1 in which about 7 teams were in with a shot of promotion with a week to go. This time around, there’s already more of a gap between the pacesetters and the rest after 3 games than there was after 15 matches last term, with the table stringing out after Somers Town Sugar Imps, Waveney Valley Swifts and Locomotiv Noj all recorded their third wins from three. The Imps had to come from behind at the break to beat Steaua Bridge 2-1 at the Stade Belinda Carlisle and end Steaua’s own perfect start, leaving them top by a single goal from WVS who recorded the same scoreline at home to Azure Dragons. The Swifts got off the mark swiftly when Klaes Karlström’s second-minute header made it 2 goals and 3 assists in barely over 180 minutes of the season for the 27-year-old midfielder, an explosive start that was temporarily derailed when he was carried off just five minutes later. Reine Röse however rattled in a second soon after the break, which proved enough despite teenage sub Jia-Hui Yen’s late reply for the Dragons, his first career goal. The Azure ones slip to the bottom of the table with the only 0% record. Noj captain Ioanneis Papagiannakis meanwhile fired in a stoppage-time clincher to make it 3-0 to his side at AFC Csiki Monkeys, but they stay behind WVS by one on goals scored. The winless Monkeys slide two to 9th.
                                            Steaua are displaced to 4th, but remain three clear of the pack as nobody else bar the top four had won at all in the opening week. On Monday Littlewoods Legends and die Ambosse did break their ducks though, promoted Legends beating last season’s D2 rivals Portsmouth FC 2-0 at the Woods with an Alcino Alencar brace and the Anvils overcoming Whoft Fluffopolis 3-1 at Porridge Court with their clincher coming minutes after they’d been reduced to 10 men by the dismissal of captain Bernd Frehn. It is a 9th career red card for the 36-year-old, increasing his lead over the rest of the OTF’s extant players to two with only Toby Gregory of Brutal Deluxe Redux in range on 7. Impressively, Frehn has been sent off precisely once each in 9 of his 12 different seasons at the club, too. His side nonetheless climb to 6th, with Littlewoods up to 5th, while Whoft are down to 7th and Portsmouth to 8th.

                                            OTF

                                            There’s an eerily familiar look to the top end of the league, with the two greatest ever champions easing their way into the top two spots three games in. 13-time titlists Croesoswallt Dragons go top of the pile thanks to Lewis Harold’s 13th-minute header giving them all the points at home to Eriskay Expression (9th) – perhaps surprisingly just the 15th top-flight goal to date for the 24-year-old across his eight seasons at this level, although the former wünderkind is still on track developmentally to end up as one of the highest-skilled players we’ve ever seen in the league. Just behind by one on goals-scored are 15-time and defending champs Dandy Town, who similarly edged out Four Candles (6th) by 1-0 at the Stade Andy Liver through Jann Bering’s header right at the start of the second half – though the scoreline doesn’t do justice to the Dandies’ 9-0 shots. They finished a man short after a stoppage-time injury to Wolfgang Putz, presumably from falling over his own feet or something, but still join Croesoswallt in overtaking erstwhile leaders Zeugmaspor who fell to a 1-0 home defeat to Great Ouse Town and slip to 3rd. Jeffery Redman, who always sounds like he was born to churn out third-rate pulp thrillers but who has impressively scored in all 14 of his campaigns in an Ouse shirt, notched the 63rd goal of his career (more than any other GOT player bar legendary trio of former strikers Lester Scyles, Parker Windsor and Romeo Livermore) with a 76th-minute piledriver to hand his side their first win of term and hoist them to 5th.
                                            Berkshire Swine draw level with Zeugma in 4th with a 2-1 win at Hampshire Deers (7th), in the first league porcine/cervine derby since they shared Div 1 in Season 60. Two goals in the first 25 minutes from Flip “Flip” Zijlstra and Helmuth Seiffert proved enough to hold off a Deers comeback even after Lloyd Lowry’s reply before the break. And in the basement battle Vita Mortis got out of the blocks for the season with a 2-0 win at Rejects Redux, helped by a 10th-minute own goal from home defender Bill Thelander before 18-year-old Ted Hart crashed in a second just half an hour into his first appearance of the season. Mortis climb off the foot to 8th, with the Rejects replacing them at the bottom. Just three games in, there are now no top-flight teams on either 100% or 0%.
                                            Last edited by Various Artist; 26-05-2022, 13:54.

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                                              Is there anybody with some free quota who'd be able to help me get the new Bryhthonnic Premiership season set up by standing in for a day or two, please? Despite my request ahead of time for all managers to sit tight, two have resigned straight after last night's Change Report and a third has been auto-sacked by their club. Any assistance much appreciated:

                                              http://www.xperteleven.com/?lid=71956

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                                                Have I read somewhere that I get an extra spot due to being an admin? If so, I might be able to fulfill that "manager for hire" role now.

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                                                  That used to be the case but not any more.

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                                                    Think I can step in, Various Artist.

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