X11 season 45 - de rigueur Mortis

[Various Artist]

Seconded!

[Janik]

Xpert XI official Ladies League Season 59, Matchday 6 report.

Xpert Ladies

ChromosomXX             1 - 2   Drakaina
Mazzi 13'                       Heggarty 64'
                                Byzhyti 90'


Division 2b

Mauchline Belles        4 - 0   Cutty Sark Crew
Perdao 5'
Melkersson 52', 68'
Fran Drouer 79'


Division 3e

Coxy Ladies Wulpen      0 - 0   Cataluna Cats


Division 4h

Liverpool FCL           2 - 1   Viking South Utsira
Close 50'                       B.Austrheim 5'
Heckingbottom 86'


Division 4j

The Temptation Within   0 - 2   Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC
                                Pailloux 40'
Walters (sent off) 75'          Navisyah 76'


Division 4k

As Mondeguinas          2 - 0   Bombay Green Rockets
Anacleto 37', 76'


Division 4p

Csiki Girls             0 - 0   Queens in Uniforms


Division 5:16

Rising Stars            3 - 2   Drygate Divas
Wa 35'                          Johnstone 38'
Colin 55'                       Br?dulescu 62'
Black 93'


Division 5:17

LNWR Locomotive         1 - 2   Watergate Bay Surfers
Nixon 41'                       Sterkx 6'
                                Klinkenberg 83'


Division 5:19

Brasselir FF            0 - 4   Ullapool Northern Star
                                Almeida 7', 60'
                                Mamouni 27'
                                Bastock 35'


Division 5:26

Zeugma Dostluk Spor     1 - 1   FC Lady Hammers
Kulakova 29'                    Wright 33'


Division 5:28

Don 540                 5 - 1   Menywod Maeshafn
Kravanja 21', 92'               Kjellberg 48'
Carlos 38', 83'
Watanabe 71'


Division 6:12

Juventus                0 - 3   Amazons FC
                                J?mtin 27'
                                Karreskog 54'
                                Karlson 82'


Division 6:41

Hazeldean Inchmistress  1 - 1   Las Vegas 86 FC
Bunton 82'                      Rey 80'


Division 6:42

Invisible Ladies        2 - 1   FC Saik
Longsworth 59'                  Hildebrand 74'
Clark 80'


Division 6:56

Dublin City Womens FC   2 - 3   Killer Queens
Gruszka 87'                     Havard 14'
Lyktberg 93'                    Bj?rnsson 32'
                                Mae Mohd 78'

Drakaina had a difficult looking match on their hands as they attempted to edge their way up the Xpert Ladies top flight table when they visited title-chasers ChromosomXX.
The first half went as Drakaina fans might have feared, ChromosomXX looking notably stronger, having over 60% possession and fashioning four chances to The Dragons one. If it hadn’t been for a typically excellent showing from ‘keeper Anastasia Shkolnikova the half-time score might have been worse than 1-0 against the Greeks. Though, equally, if ref Michael Steen had been more accommodating Gael Heggarty’s 39th minute ‘equaliser’ might have counted.
Heggarty was not to be denied forever though, and when she had the ball in the home net again from a 64th minute corner it counted. The Dragons were now roaring, only to suffer body blow just over 10 minutes later when Shkolnikova was carried off. Her back-up, Zera Papavasillou, is a talented kid and will benefit from the run of games she will now get, but a long injury lay-off for your star player is always a major setback.
It didn’t cost Drakaina in this particular though. Rather it spurred them on to do it for Ana, which resulted in a 90th minute winner when Sandra Byzhyti fired in a direct free-kick. That gave The Dragons an unexpected three points that moved them up a spot to sixth in the table, now just a point from safety. The worry for boss Etienne though is whether this win is pyrrhic – Shkolnikova will be out for 19 days!

A home game against the team bottom of the table was the fare for Mauchline Belles, who welcomed Cutty Sark Crew to Tarbolton Road.
The visitors were under fairly fresh new management after the previous incumbent upped and left on their poor start to the campaign. The Belles were quick to exploit a lack of co-ordination on the part of Cutty Sark, Fernanda Perdao finding herself all alone as she headed in a 5th minute corner.
The score remained at one until after half-time, but from that point Jdsx’s team kicked it up a gear. Gunilla Melkersson headed a second on 52 minutes, and then fired a third in from range on 68, Fran Drouer turning in a fourth on 79. Mauchline’s advantage was so substantial that ending the match with 10 players after injury forced skipper Blenda Alseg?rd off in the 86th minute was of little relevance, at least for the day – Alseg?rd is likely to miss another match as her knock will take 11 days to clear up.
The win lifted Mauchline up above the Division 2b relegation line again. Just, they now sit in fifth place.

Five wins from their opening five games was way beyond the expectations of newly promoted Coxy Ladies Wulpen. Standing in the way of six from six were Cataluna Cats, who were winless but mostly due to drawing rather than losing.
Given the solid defence of The Cats, Wulpen were relieved when an early away effort was disallowed. In previous matches this might have allowed Janik’s team to kick on… but not in this one as they struggled to put their authority on the game.
The match was still scoreless at the interval, with Wulpen having had just 40% of possession. Little changed after the break, baring Cataluna having some chances. But no goals, and none for The Belgians either, which was fair as they hadn’t done enough to deserve one.
Wulpen’s first dropped points in Division 3e then. But not costly ones, as nearest rivals Miscounduct United were being held to a simultaneous stalemate. The gap remains three points, with third another three further back.

Promotion chasers Viking South Utsira visited Liverpool FCL knowing their two rivals at the top of the Division 4h table were clashing elsewhere.
The Blood Eagles began the game well, veteran midfielder Birgit Austrheim turning home a corner delivered by her cousin, Nina, to put Velvet Android’s side ahead in the 5th minute. However this would prove to be the high point of Viking’s day as mid-table Liverpool played pretty well. The hosts levelled matters on 50 minutes, and then snatched a winner late on (86) just as it looked like VSU were going to escape with a point from a game where they had somewhat underperformed.
That defeat meant The Blood Eagles were not able to take advantage of San Quirico beating leaders Q.P.R Ladies. Even a point would have had Viking top of the table, but it wasn’t to be and they now find themselves third.

A side pushing for promotion, Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC, met one struggling against relegation, The Temptation Within at the Temptation Arena.
Despite being top of the table, Kanjeng saw little of the ball in the first half. However SeanoftheShed’s side showed why they are flying along – one chance, completely against the run of play, one goal and a 1-0 half-time lead. The scorer and time was Ad?le Pailloux, 40.
The hosts chances of getting something from the game were significantly diminished by Gillian Walters picking up two yellow cards, the second in the 75th minute. The Sea Spirits were quick to fully extinguish them, Catur Navisyah adding a second within a minute of Walters making the long trudge.
A good win for The Sea Goddesses was added to by good news from elsewhere as second-in the-table Red Dead Heads lost to third placed San Francisco Wet Cats. It all means the Indonesians lead at the top of the standings is now four points.

Two sides in the lower reaches of the Division 4k table faced off when Bombay Green Rockets went to As Mondeguinas.
With only two points between the sides at the start of play, the match looked like an opportunity for HKS3’s side. Unfortunately that is not how it worked out as The Green Rockets appeared to fizzle out, leaving Mondeguinas to take charge. The hosts struck twice, around three-quarters of the way through each half to rack up what was ultimately a comfortable victory.
The lack of ignition saw Bombay sink instead, The Rockets dropping to the foot of the 4k standings. They are now five points from safety.

Csiki Girls situation looked bleak ahead of their game with Queens in Uniforms, as the Transylvanians didn’t have a point to their names to date this campaign.
This match held out possibilities though, as QiU had only scored once in their opening five games, actually fewer than The Csiki’s had managed! The problem was the visitors had also only conceded in two of their five fixates, drawing the other three 0-0.
Floriane Smet thought she had done something about that when she turned the ball home in the 26th minute, only for the officials to intervene. That would have been just about deserved for ad hoc’s side for their control of possession, but it wasn’t to be. They never came as close again, and then, on 84 minutes, there was a collective gasp from the A kertem crowd as Queens found the target. Followed by a sigh of relief as Stellan Offajed once again ruled it out.
It finished goalless, the fourth such result for Queens in Uniform this season. But a first point for Csiki Girls, which is a relief. Nowhere near enough to lift them from the bottom rung of the Division 4p table of course, but a start nevertheless.

[Janik]

Another side enduring a difficult campaign following promotion as Rising Stars, who were again in pursuit of their first win when they took on Drygate Divas at the Ascension Arena.
The Stars had broken their seasonal scoring duck the previous week against through Hua Wa when she scored in the 35th minute to give Blamb’s side the lead in that game. Just to prove it was no fluke, Wa did exactly the same again at exactly the same time in this one.
Last week it took just five minutes for The Stars to be pegged back. This time around it was even less, Drygate levelling on 38. But here things begin to diverge as, rather than going down to 10 due to injury and collapsing, this time around Rising went back in front on 55 minutes through midfielder Anna Colin’s raking drive. The Divas responded fairly swiftly again, their second coming just past the hour mark, and following this both teams had chances for a winner. It looked like one was not going to materialise despite all the chances until, deep into stoppage time, Natasha Black rose majestically to head home a corner and give her side the full day’s haul.
Even with the win, Rising Stars stay last in Division 5:16. But they are now within three points of the side in fifth… who happen to be Drygate Divas. If the result had been the other way, the gap to safety would now be right points.

Given how the season has developed to date in Division 5:17, any matches between the top three teams, such as the meeting of LNWR Locomotive and Watergate Bay Surfers at Mollington Street, is likely to have a significant bearing on which sides go up and head to the play-offs.
A vital game then, and one which started badly for The Steamers when Watergate Bay went 1-0 up after only 6 minutes play. Charlotte Nixon responded for Viktor Boskovic’s side on 41 minutes to send the teams in level at the break, in what had been a close game of few chances. There was to be only one sight of goal for either side after the interval, in fact. That game for the Surfers on 83 minutes, and they converted it for a winner; Watergate Bay had shaded the game statistically, but this felt a mite harsh on Locomotive.
The loss left The Steamers third in the standings, three points adrift of second and four behind Watergate Bay, who are top.

Ullapool Northern Star had a very winnable looking game on their hands as they headed to Brasselir FF.
The hosts are struggling near the foot of the Division 5:19 table, and their lack of confidence was something Polaris boss Delicatemoth would have been were keen for her team to develop. Such as, say, N?bia Almeida putting Northern Star ahead after only 7 minutes had gone. In?s Mamouni had a second disallowed on 21 minutes. No matter, she simply struck again on 27 and this time Justin Thyme was satisfied. Suzy Bastock added a third on 35 minutes with a direct free-kick to ensure the game was moreorless won already.
The second-half was a bit of a non-event as the outcome was already clearly settled. Almeida did up the final score to four though with a strike on the hour. The win edged Ullapool up a place to second in the table. They are hot on the heels of leaders Wheelies Wobblers. Nearly stepping on them in fact, seeing as the gap is only +1 Goal Difference.

Zeugma Dostluk Spor were looking to build on their win from last week to kick start their promotion push when they hosted FC Lady Hammers.
The match was a weird one as Zeugma saw little of the ball (40%), but made pretty well all the chances (4-1). They went ahead on 29 minutes when Veronika Kulakova fired home from a corner, but were pegged back four minutes later when the visitors got very lucky and scored with their only shot of the match.
AntepliEjderha’s side struggled to get their rhythm back after this sucker punch and were forced to settle for a 1-1 draw from a match they would have hope for more out of. And not just because their opponent marks himself down as an objectifying pillock. Ugh. However the point from the draw was enough for ZDS to increase their gap over Division 5:26’s bottom three from goal difference up to a single point. The Anatolians remain fifth.

Menywod Maeshafn were also looking to build on a win from last week when they visited Don 540 and… um… we might chose not to dwell for too long on this game, actually.
Not that there is anything untoward about the hosts, but simply because it was a bad day at the office for IsThatcherDeadYet’s charges. The high point of the day for Maeshafn was in the 48th minute when Simone Kjellberg clawed the score back to 2-1, but that was against the run of play. Don 540 made their superiority tell in the last 20 minutes to run away with things 5-1.
The stuffing didn’t cost Maeshafn any places in the Division 5:28 table, the Welsh side stay sixth. Nor are they too far from safety, the gap increasing from one point to two. The goal difference hit is a bit painful, though.

The rebuilding continues apace at Corso Marsiglia as SitsWithRemote looks to put his stamp on a Juventus squad that wasn’t really up to the Old Lady’s standards. Five more of the old guard had departed prior to their match against Amazons FC, with three arriving and being pitched straight into the action.
It wasn’t an easy match to make your introductions with as Amazons arrived in Piedmont boasting a perfect 100% record. They would also leave with the same intact as Juve’s new look side is yet to gel. There were promising sings for Sits and co as Amazons didn’t dominate that much in possession and chance terms. But they did rack up three goals to The Zebra’s zip.
The hosts also picked up a red cross injury in the match, but there was some good news afterwards for the boss when it turned out Trillare Soviero was only going to be out for 6 days and would be ready for Juve’s next Division 6:12 match. Which looks much more winnable…

A good point last week for Hazeldean Inchmistress was potentially a sign of a turnaround in fortunes for Foxy265’s team. But would they carry on the improvement against Las Vegas 86 FC?
Yes and no, as it turns out. The Imperials played well enough, shrugging off the loss through injury of Jennie Bringevik on 64 minutes (an 11-day injury) to look the side much more likely to break the deadlock throughout the match, and in the second-half in particular. It was therefore rather a hammer blow when the opening goal on 80 minutes went to Vegas instead.
Karen Bunton, who had come on as a sub for Bringevik, responded pretty well immediately, turning home an 82nd minute corner to draw Inchmistress level. But that was as good as the Framleyshire side managed despite their glut of chances (8-2 overall).
The draw saw Hazeldean lose ground in the Division 6:42 play-off race – they are now six points adrift of Fuego Eagles, though The Imperials do remain fourth.

The first dropped points since the opening day of the season had cost Invisible Ladies top spot in Division 6:42 last week. The See-Throughs attempt to bounce straight back came against old rivals FC Saik.
Sometimes these games have been too close for comfort. Not today, or at least not in general play – it was all Invisible as Pebblethefish’s side created seven (count ‘em) first half chances. Only one problem here – The See-Throughs somehow contrived to sit down to their half-time cuppas still level at 0-0!
The San Seethrough crowd frustrations were finally eased in the 59th minute when Linda Longsworth headed home. The lead was not that long lasting though as Saik levelled on 74 minutes. That was very much against the run of play but less so the second-half pattern, which was more even. But, contrarians that they are, Invisible went ahead again on 80 minutes through Phoebe Clark’s long range bullet.
7-0 on first half chances; 0-0 score. 4-2 on second; 2-1 score. Hmm. Weird. But enough for a thoroughly deserve win that moved The See-Throughs back up to second in the table, two points adrift of leaders London Ladies, though only ahead of third-placed Luculenus on goal difference.

Division 6:56 is shaping up to be a very close four-way battle for promotion. Two of the teams involved in that are Dublin City Womens FC and Killer Queens, who clashed in week 6 at The Heart Stadium.
Dublin came into the match top of the tree, but Mortal Joe’s girls found this one a bit of a struggle, particularly in a first half where Killer Queens were much the better side. The score was 2-0 to the visitors at the interval, and this was extended to three on 78 minutes.
Dublin didn’t give up though and netted a consolation on 87 minutes when Elwira Gruszka turned home a corner for the young midfielder’s first strike in Dublin colours. That was followed up by a second strike on 93 minutes as another recent big money signing, 21/8 free-kick taking forward Maria Lyktberg got the first of what Dublin fans hope will be many goals. It needs to be to justify her 13+ million transfer fee!
This second strike was only another consolation as the final whistle blew moreorless straight afterwards. If only Dublin had started playing earlier than the 85th minute! As it was they fell to a defeat that saw them tumbled from top to fourth in the 6:56 standings. But only two points behind the new leaders, so still very much involved in the promotion chase.

[Sits]

Thanks a lot for that Janik, great and detailed work as usual. Juve finally have a fully fit “new” squad available, even midfield mentor Lilias Cabrero. Let’s see if she can last more than twelve minutes this time.

[delicatemoth]

Season 59, Round 11.

Div 3

Great Northern Railway maintained their 100% record (the only one in the whole league) with a straightforward goal-in-each-half win at home to Veni Vici Vigata. The latter nonetheless stay 5th. In fact, there was no positional movement in the whole section as 2nd-placed FC Gloryhammer and 3rd (Brian Munchingflapjack) also posted 2-0 wins over 9th (Wharfedale Generals) and 6th (Nieuwegein Kneebiters). New Dresden (4th) did their best to liven things up by running six goals - four of them for Rene Hacker - past The Blomstrands (7th) with a solitary reply, but remain well behind Brians on GD. Bragging rights this round go to Richmond P and P (10th), whose first win of the season - 1-0 at home to Clydach Vale fc (8th) - brought them to within a point of Wharfedale in that nice, cool basement.

Div 2

OWC Albion (7th) secured a fine point (failed to make any chances, but repelled all 4 of their opponents') at home to leaders Saltney Drawers. This allowed Steaua Bridge to hop into 2nd by virtue of another fairly straightforward 2-0 home win, though they had to wait till the second half for the goals that pushed Wednesday de la Zouch down to 9th. Hampshire Deers slipped to 3rd after going down 3-1 at the unpredictable Cods of War, the win enabling the pugnacious piscines to rise to 6th, a place and a point above OWC. The Gang Play Football (8th) are just a point from safety after winning 1-0 at Pinewooden Spoonists Passers, but having run out of games against the latter they will need to beat some different teams to get out of trouble. Could they start today against unbeaten Saltney? There isn't much midtable in this division but Heffron Hendecagon's (5th) 2-0 win at Eintracht Midwest (4th) went some way to rectifying that. Midwest can track right back into the promotion picture if their visit to Hampshire yields three points.

[delicatemoth]

Div 1

Another unbeaten leader team, another 0-0 draw. Zeugmaspor were at home, but struggling visitors Wensleydale Blues (8th) gave as good as they got and at the end of the day, despite the point, had struggled into the drop zone. Zeugmaspor's lead is down to 4 points because Hideous Towns (2nd) managed a very unstraightforward 2-0 win at Banik Roystonov (5th), scoring with their only chances while the Czechfordshire forwards had a fairly hideous afternoon, alternately spurning chances and seeing titanic defender Erdozia walloping them clear. Alongside Banik in the division's engine room are Locomotiv Noj (6th), who were just pondering whether they had won a point or dropped two when Athletico Deva (10th) struck, Godfrey Corpe's 82nd-minute header giving them only their second win of the season. They stay 10th on goal difference only, though die Ambosse (7th) did their best to help out by putting four past embattled Eriskay Expression(9th). And Whoft Fluffopolis (3rd) decided to skip this whole mid table business by bringing goals to Criminal Court, whose patrons staggered home in an unwonted state of delirious stimulation after witnessing Rejects Redux (4th) subside 1-3.

OTF

St. Pancras Starmers continued their improbable charge at the top, and Duke Bateman his rise from excitingly-endowed (I'm talking SQs, 6 of them!) strike partner to top flight goal machine. Bateman's 3rd-minute header and Starmers' forensic tough inclusive-of-BEZZUL DE PIROD AMICO INGUANEZ defence was enough to see off Croesoswallt Dragons (3rd) and extend the lead to eight points. Defending champs Four Candles (2nd) could only draw 0-0 at home to Turd Division (10th), who were as stubborn as, erm, four candles that have been superglued to something that absolutely isn't notorious for blocking eh you get the picture. Moving swiftly on, Kernow Kensa (4th) continued their good run, coming from behind with two goals in three minutes to take the points at Berkshire Swine (7th). That warhorse Jim Arber was on the scoresheet for Great Ouse Town (8th) who overcame fellow basement-dwellers AFC Csiki Monkeys (9th) 2-1 in that lovely cool basement air, surrounded by mushrooms and paraphernalia, where they can at least think. Vita Mortis (6th), by contrast, are full of liveliness and disdained the temptations of the basement as they beat Dandy Town (5th) 3-1.

[delicatemoth]

Sorry div 3 gets slightly short shrift, I wrote that one first and was warming up (brrrrr, please no).

[ad hoc]

I can see the phrase "mushrooms and paraphernalia" making into the next Monkeys' press release

[nmrfox]

Thanks for the excellent round ups Janik and dm!

[lambers]

Note: spoilers for today's matches in Heineken league 20 below, if you want to avoid the scores, look away (past my post)...

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......... now

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It's been a good evening for the Isla Nublarians: I finally managed to purchase an experienced and decent defender to teach the youngsters; we finally got our first win (and points) of the season, albeit at the expense of a fellow OTFer; and the team called 'Made Men', who I felt made a bit of a gloating PR about their victory over me, got hammered by Pebble of this parish. Thanks Pebble.

[Sits]

Thanks dm for a lively and entertaining roundup.

And lambers, yeah that Made Men PR would’ve riled me.

[delicatemoth]

This week - played three, three 3-0 defeats. That can't happen very often?

HO and VA alternate weekly rather than each round, right? So I agreed to round up yesterday's fixtures too? Fine if so, I just don't want to double book.

[Various Artist]

Great work DM, thanks for stepping in! HO and I tag-team each week – I do the Monday games and he does the Thursday ones. So I'll do the report for the ones already played this week, and you can then come back in to review Thursday's round if you're still up for it.

[Sits]

matt j are you still interested in joining the Human League? I’ve just had a resignation, at Great Ouse Town. This is a two-time title winning side, initially under our own Kevin S and subsequently a non-OTF manager RebelRebel.

They are currently down in the bottom tier, but in the promotion spots.

At the moment they are blocked so no one else can take over so let me know.

[matt j]

sure!

[Granthamian]

Sits , on the subject of RebelRebel, in his time as manager of Great Ouse he was prone to some odd behaviour. He would resign as manager then resume again straight away. He must have done this half a dozen times and I wonder if you as admin had any idea what that was all about. I did ask him back in the day but did not get an answer. ( I wondered at the time if if he might have discovered some devious advantage in X11 that he was keeping to himself)

[Sits]

I don’t think I remember experiencing that especially. I do remember Rabat Rebels being a really tough team in MLX.

matt j excellent news! Just apply for the next available team, and once I see you in the waiting room I will unblock the Ouse.

[Sits]

This just in from Noirs de Bigorre:

Franck Delporte has been enjoying wonderful form of late and has been attracting a large number of new supporters to the club. The club decides to market a Bobblehead doll in Franck Delporte's image, which earns extra revenue for the club in the amount of 495 500 econ on only its first day of sales.

That “wonderful” form hasn’t saved Los Cramados from languishing at the foot of Pro Zone A.

[matt j]

I don’t think I remember experiencing that especially. I do remember Rabat Rebels being a really tough team in MLX.

matt j excellent news! Just apply for the next available team, and once I see you in the waiting room I will unblock the Ouse.

Put in the application (though it's disappeared now from my 'lobby'). Corn Field FC

[Various Artist]

Picking up from DM's admirably concise effort, here's one that... erm... isn't. Sorry.

OTF League roundup for 10th August: Season 59 round 12

Division 3

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Kicking off a strangely ‘transitional’ day with a whole series of streaks ending, we see Great Northern Railway losing their 100% start 12 games into the season, with closest rivals FC Gloryhammer holding them to a 0-0 at Dundee Park – one that also ended the latter’s perfect home record. GNR took 60% of possession but the Hammer had both shots on goal, so the result was a fair one.
Brian Munchingflapjack (3rd) closed up to 2 points behind Gloryhammer with a 3-0 home win over Wharfedale Generals (9th) where the one-sided scoreline represented the possession – 69%-31% – but not the 5-4 shots.
Result of the day in the basement division came at Clydach Vale, where the hosts snatched an 89th-min winner over New Dresden (4th) through Eugene Fenby’s strike (have we ever mentioned a Eugene in these roundups before?) to climb to 7th on GD. Dresden are now 3pts adrift of the Flapjacks again.
Veni Vici Vigata hold firm in 5th with a 3-0 home stroll against Richmond P&P, who stay bottom.
The Blomstrands slip to 8th but Nieuwegein Kneebiters keep in touching distance of VVV in 6th with the Dutch side’s 2-0 win at the Bob Memorial Ground. 20-year-old midfielder Ernst Menge suffered his first serious career injury but 20-year-old midfielder Frenk Grim scored his first two career goals to win the game for the Biters.



Division 2

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Shock of the day? Maybe at The Gang Play Football, where D2’s 8th-placed side stunned leaders Saltney Drawers with Yegor Shalimov’s 43rd-min goal ending the visitors’ undefeated run somewhat against the run of play. TGPF climb out of the relegation zone to 7th, while Saltney’s advantage at the top is down to 3 points.
Both of those facts were ensured by Steaua Bridge (2nd) crushing OWC Albion 5-1 at the Colosseum of Dread to send Albion down to 8th. The result did not at all represent OWC’s 60% first-half possession and 53% overall, though Steaua still had all three shots before the break and took the lead two minutes after it through Tomas Stabile. Ravioli Downpipe deservedly levelled for Albion on 67 – but then four minutes later midfielder Noah Tremble received a direct red card and Bridge took just a minute to restore the lead. The result was in the balance until the closing stages nonetheless, but then Stabile’s second sparked a late rush of three goals to put a rather harsh gloss on the scoreline.

3rd met 4th at The Meadow, where Hampshire Deers and Eintracht Midwest stalled each other’s pursuit of Steaua with a 2-2 draw. The Deers were ahead in the first minute and two up by the break, but an Eintracht fightback in the second half was completed after Deers captain Ledley Key was sent off with ten minutes to play and Liam Romano dispatched a freekick equaliser.
Another dramatic streak-ending game came at Heffron Hendecagon, where despite the hosts shading the possession and having 3 shots to 2, Maksim Taratorin converted both the opportunities for visitors Pinewood Passers to snap their 11-game losing run since the start of the season and bag their first points since June 18th.
The 2-1 defeat keeps Heffron 5th, though only 1 goal ahead of Cods of War (6th) who failed to take full advantage with a 0-0 stalemate at Wednesday de la Zouch (9th). Cods themselves meanwhile are only still ahead of The Gang on goals scored.

[Various Artist]

Division 1

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Leaders Zeugmaspor just avoided joining Saltney in losing their undefeated streak, although they were outshot 4-1 at Rejects Redux and thus a little lucky to escape with a 0-0. AE’s side stay top but their already scant momentum is petering out to almost nothing – they scraped four straight 1-0 wins before drawing 1-1 with Hideous Towns a fortnight ago, since when they have had three more draws, all goalless, on the bounce. Their defence remains nearly watertight, only 2 conceded all season, but Zeugma are not exactly winning over the neutrals: their 11 scored is actually the third-lowest in the division, worse than only two of the teams in the relegation places.
One of those, Athletico Deva (10th), stay bottom after succumbing to a battling 1-0 loss at Hideous Towns, who are closing in on Zeugma at only 2 points behind now.

Struggling Eriskay Expression (9th) shipped 4 goals for the second match in succession, this time at home to Whoft Fluffopolis (3rd), though despite being heavily out-possessed and outshot they fought back from two down to level after 70 minutes before Burt St Tropez headed two more for the Fluffers to keep them on the track of the top two. Four points behind Hideous, on 20, Whoft also needed the win to keep ahead of the chasing pack with three teams all on 18.
Of those, Banik Roystonov nosed ahead of the Rejects on GD despite the latter’s performance against Zeugma, thanks to an improved showing after half-time carrying them to a 2-0 win at Wensleydale Blues (8th).
Locomotiv Noj (6th) meanwhile joined the others on 18 points with a hard-fought 2-1 home win over die Ambosse (7th), which opened a 6-point gap between the two and keeps the Anvils just a point above the dropzone.


OTF

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Top half were playing the bottom half in the upper tier, but not everything went the way of the high-flyers. The other candidate for shock of the day came at Bankfalva Kert, where 9th-placed Csiki Monkeys went from starting the day with a chance of falling to the foot of the table and coming off a loss (surrounded by mushrooms and paraphernalia) to a Great Ouse Town side previously winless since opening day, to climbing to 8th with a stunning demolition of previously undefeated leaders St Pancras Starmers. Laszlo Olah headed a 3rd-minute opener and it was all one-way traffic from there, with the Monkeys taking 60% possession and a startling 9 shots to 1 as the title favourites for once failed to convert a less-than-stellar performance into any kind of result. Konrad Biliczki struck the decisive second with 11 minutes to play, then Emil Hajdu put the cherry on top with a third deep into stoppage time.

The Starmers have their lead at the summit slashed to a ‘mere’ 5 points with one-third of the campaign to go, with reigning champs Four Candles (2nd) extending their current unbeaten run to 8 and ending a rut of three draws by converting both their chances at home to Berkshire Swine (7th) to settle a close-fought game 2-0 in the final 20 minutes. The Monkeys’ win meanwhile reduced the Swine’s cushion above the safety line to just two points.

A tale of two injuries, arguably, at the Host of Trophies Past – or at least that was the consensus arrived at by the two managers after Croesoswallt Dragons (3rd) came from behind to beat Vita Mortis (6th). The visitors in fact had Nathan Helleday suffer a minor knock in the first minute and had a goal disallowed in the 9th, but the Dragons’ fortunes gained their vital boost from the 15th-minute stretcher job for young forward Helmuth Baumann. Although Mortis snatched the lead straight after, 21-year-old Baumann’s replacement with the hugely more experienced Vasili Gulko was a much better exchange than the Scythemen could muster when goalkeeper Howard Stant was carried off on 37 minutes with the first injury of his 12-season career, after not facing a shot to that point.
That saw 39-year-old Wilbur Greenwood make a shock return to the Mortis goal, after his competitive career looked to have ended in June – with, ironically perhaps, a defeat in the same fixture last season. Now 5 skillbars short of his 18-bar peak (at which he was the best player in the league), the veteran stopped 5 of 7 chances the Dragons conjured after the break but was unable to prevent Cliff Anthony’s first goal of the season nor Flavio Saude winning it with a rare strike – only his 31st of a 315-game career. The superstar Croesoswallt midfielder now has plural goals for a campaign for the first time in six seasons, however, and his 24-bar match rating was his personal best performance as well as being better than any other player in the league has ever managed. Greenwood (whose best of 23 bars is a former record) has the consolation of now having played in 22 consecutive seasons. He will likely have to feature for the next fortnight in Stant's absence, while he heads towards retirement at the end of the month.

Anyway, after all that the Dragons remain hot on the Candles’ heels at just one point behind, and pull out a two-point lead over Kernow Kensa (4th) after the Cornishmen’s three-game winning run ended with a 0-0 stumble at home to Great Ouse Town. Ouse’s improved form this past week could not prevent them slipping back behind the Monkeys to 9th.
Kensa are joined on 19 points by Dandy Town (5th) after the Highwaymen swept aside bottom side Turd Division 3-0 at the Stade Andy Liver. It moves them 3pts clear of Mortis and leaves the Turds three adrift at the foot of the table and six points from safety with six to play.

[Sits]

matt j I had to reject your application as it was for a new team. You need to apply for an existing team. I know none show as available but this will put you in the queue, then I will unblock Great Ouse Town and you should slot in.

You’re welcome to a brand new team, but you won’t be playing until next season.

[matt j]

Ah. yeah, I only get the option=> join the league=> register new team. No option to apply for existing team.

[Sits]

Oh right sorry. Ouse are now unlocked.

[Various Artist]

I like the idea of you unblocking the Ouse, Sits – it sounded like you needed a plunger.

But yes, the whole point about 'blocking' a team is that no-one can apply to them, i.e. it protects a team from random takeovers if an admin wishes to keep the hotseat empty for any reason. Hence your needing to lift the restriction on GOT before matt could apply.