X11 season 45 - de rigueur Mortis

[Various Artist]

Holy shit. I've only ever seen a team score 9 goals once in all my time on X11. 8 is as rare as hen's teeth.

[Janik]

Yeah, I've seen a 9 before.

The one that got me recently was a 7-5 in an official league game. So 90 minutes, no penalties. That was pretty nuts. Can't remember where I came across it though, the Master League or the Ladies one.

[Sean of the Shed]

Pulau Pinang have just scored 9 goals and lost against Quiddich Quaffles, though it was a penalty shootout. 2-2 at full time then lost 8-7 on pens.

[Sits]

Well Etienne and Hot Orange, no pressure but you’re the only surviving OTFers in the QFs of the MLX. Stupid comp.

Did I say no pressure?

[Various Artist]

I appear to have forgotten to set any tactics for the MLX QFs, which really surprised me because I thought I had.

I can only assume that due to the loss of senior keeper Larry Leyton, minutes into the penultimate regular fixture against Gotham (plus the attendant disappointment at losing our perfect winning league record), I'd written off our chances in the playoffs to such an extent my subconscious decided to spare me extra heartache – by making me believe that I had spent time and effort trying to win the game against Fury, without my actually having to do so.


In the OTF, have had what is a new random event on me:

Change of form in the team
Menno Kras has become a bit bored playing in defence lately. In training, he has tried to push forward as much as possible, but this has resulted in him being caught out of position and getting stick from players and coaching staff. As a result, he loses some form.

Well, it's a gratifyingly novel one, isn't gratingly offensive to anyone and actually makes sense... even if it is appalling timing on the eve of the new term. 22/9 four-season 'veteran' Menno is a youthful Mortis defence's third most experienced member now after the retirement of Brynjar Snorrarsson. It's gonna be a bit of a tricky season again, I feel.

[Various Artist]

actually makes sense

Not so much the case with last night's other random event, at Tiree Automatic:

Increase in form
Dave Channel has been invited to star in a shampoo advert, as his flowing locks have become a well-known look on the pitch. ...

[Various Artist]

Ahhh, for fuck's sake. The Xpert Ladies season starts today and Viking South Utsira's first opponents (and rivals from last season) Eternal Wars have been handed a new manager about 6 hours before it kicks off. To add insult to injury, he's already installed the worst 'bikini girl' and 'boobs' kits available. This is a 50-year-old man, for crying out loud.


Edit: I'll look forward even more than usual to Janik's review of this fixture, though.

[Sits]

And make sure you set Bruise.

Dave Channel has nice neckwear, if not much in the way of flowing locks BTW.

[Sits]

Now, if you'll forgive some melancholy self indulgence, it's a very sombre time at Baston Fen, home of Lincolnshire Curly Coats. A day long dreaded has come a little sooner than hoped: a combination of two bad injuries, dreadful form impact from a 5th Round Cup exit and worsening league form have precipitated a mini sell-off. And the key departure will be the Curlies' longest serving ever player, beloved goalie Hugh Callender. As the PR will be titled, The Final Page of the Callender Turns. So for posterity:




I'll never find another Hugh.

[SouthdownRebel]

Tobermory are going to get relegated back to the Amateur Zone after I forgot to set tactics for today. I think I'll take the opportunity to move on elsewhere - I feel like the whisky theme has run its course. Maybe it's time to resurrect a Mediaeval theme for my next team.

[Sits]

Well Semi Pro not Amateur I hope SDR!

[SouthdownRebel]

Shamateur Zone

[Janik]

Ahhh, for fuck's sake. The Xpert Ladies season starts today and Viking South Utsira's first opponents (and rivals from last season) Eternal Wars have been handed a new manager about 6 hours before it kicks off. To add insult to injury, he's already installed the worst 'bikini girl' and 'boobs' kits available. This is a 50-year-old man, for crying out loud.


Edit: I'll look forward even more than usual to Janik's review of this fixture, though.

Leaving aside the knuckle-dragging element, there seems to have been a huge merry-go-round in the top flight. The old Eternal Wars boss, Mathias_00, has decided not to try and go slightly better than last season's near miss by taking the job at Cutty Sark Crew. And that job was available because the previous Cutty Sark boss, Soccerrules, had moved to FC Bebadas. The vacancy was ultimately created by their ex-boss, Gråsso, opting to step away.

I don't get why a manager of a top flight side, particularly one such as Cutty Sark that have finished 2nd, 2nd and 4th in the last three seasons, would want to move to someone else's squad. It's not even like the Bedadas collection is any younger than the ageing clipper crew.

[Etienne]

Well Etienne and Hot Orange, no pressure but you’re the only surviving OTFers in the QFs of the MLX. Stupid comp.

Did I say no pressure?

Well, we did our bit, but it sounds like the Malouins got robbed.

[Hot Orange]

Well, we did our bit, but it sounds like the Malouins got robbed.

We fluked our way through in the last round, so we can't complain. It's been a good season overall - semis in the Cup and quarters in the play-offs, and DVs are looking great.

[Various Artist]

I like the juxtaposition of the above with Janik's immediately preceding comment about "the ageing clipper crew" of Cutty Sark, seeing how there was also a strong maritime theme in the MLX game, with Matelots Malouins unlucky to lose out to Cornish Crew in the Celtic Pirate Derby.

[Various Artist]

Troubling news of straitened times for VA Sports, meanwhile:

Financial event
Viking North Utsire's kit suppliers have gone bust, just days before they were due to deliver a new supply which the team desperately needs. The commercial manager works hard to do a deal with another manufacturer, but due to the tight timescales he is forced to pay over the odds. This costs Viking North Utsire 6 500 econ.

[Sits]

VA Sports should re-launch and jack up their prices.

[Etienne]

We fluked our way through in the last round, so we can't complain. It's been a good season overall - semis in the Cup and quarters in the play-offs, and DVs are looking great.

We've fluked through both rounds so far, can't imagine our luck will last any further.

[Various Artist]

VA Sports should re-launch and jack up their prices.

Good idea Sits. One mug per six kits, perhaps...?

[nmrfox]

One game to go in the Brythonnic 3rd Division West. The table shows Coventry City (boo, hiss) as champions, but behind them -

2. SDS Page 32 points GD +12
3. Battersea 32 points GD +10
4. Nyth Wobbegong 31 points GD +12

Final round of games sees Battersea host SDS Page whilst Nyth travel to Rossoneri. The latter are just one point and one place above the relegation zone but with a better goal difference than the only team who can send them down, SdR's Tremadog Twitchers. So, in true BBC discussing Englands path to the WC final chances, Battersea and SDS will play out a draw, Nyth will win at Rossoneri to claim the second promotion spot, and the Twitchers will fly high at an already gone down Dicks and remain in Div 3 for next season. It's going to be a bumpy one Alan...

[SouthdownRebel]

No pressure then...

[Sits]

I don't think I've ever had one of these before. Did somebody here nominate it, or would it be TonyBrazil who is listed as "Reporter"?

[jdsx]

I don't think I've ever had one of these before. Did somebody here nominate it, or would it be TonyBrazil who is listed as "Reporter"?

Nice one Sits. Btw, he seems to have been 'downgraded' (upgraded?) to just 4 yellows now - do yellows in cup games not count??

[SouthdownRebel]

Well, just when I thought Tobermory were done for. And we've got 3x18 in DV as well, which must be the best I've ever had (I don't keep a spreadsheet unlike some around here).