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X11 season 45 - de rigueur Mortis

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    Originally posted by Sits View Post
    So the one league I said I would buy an extra team for has a vacancy. It's Daisy_D's The Establishment and she let me know Roberto11 (or whatever he's called) is quitting his team there. This is doubly good as he's a misogynist who I don't engage with. I realise he's a mainstay of MLX.

    So I think I may resurrect Tamworth Reds as that was my original team there and I have three lovely VA shirts for them.
    Enjoy, why this league Sits?

    Comment


      Originally posted by Antepli Ejderha View Post

      Enjoy, why this league Sits?
      I was in it before and won the cup (I think). I don't know really, it feels like an exclusive club!

      Janik I have also applied for a new team in the Xpert Ladies. I don't usually do this, it was an impulse. Not looking for a shortcut as they are abandoned in Div 6 anyway. Updates later.
      Last edited by Sits; 17-11-2021, 02:50.

      Comment


        I’ve got the team in The Establishment. They have 33.8m in the bank.

        And Sean might like the players’ new names.
        Last edited by Sits; 17-11-2021, 12:15.

        Comment


          Originally posted by Sits View Post
          And Sean might like the players’ new names.
          That's some excellent naming, Sits. Obviously I have now departed, but if you take on any more players then my old haunt of Hockley is up for grabs still (perhaps of interest to another OTFer too)
          A couple of potential full names still available for use are Perry Crofts and, of course, Drayton Bassett (which if you're interested is where Julian Cope used to live).
          Coton is another available area in the town, and ironically former keeper Tony Coton was actually born in Tamworth.

          Comment


            Excellent info Sean. I can’t use Drayton Bassett as it’s the home ground due to its being the birthplace of the Tamworth breed.

            But I had to do a hasty renaming as Roberto’s previous version (New World Order, fan club The Illuminati) included such luminaries as Rupert Murdoch, Philip Mountbatten, Jeff Bezos and Richard Nixon.

            Originally posted by Sits View Post
            Janik I have also applied for a new team in the Xpert Ladies. I don't usually do this, it was an impulse. Not looking for a shortcut as they are abandoned in Div 6 anyway. Updates later.
            Scratch that, I’ll just rebrand Cinghiali. They’ll get there in the end.

            Last edited by Sits; 17-11-2021, 20:27.

            Comment


              OTF League roundup for 15th November 2021: Season 65 Round 16

              Division 3

              Great Northern Railway were looking a bit short of steam up to the midway point of the campaign, but have hit the express route since the turn of the fixture list and swept all before them on the return half. Monday’s easy 2-0 at Pinewood Passers (8th) was their seventh win on the trot and clinched their immediate return to Division 2.
              Two key clashes below GNR meanwhile saw the promotion race almost ended as a contest, with 2nd- and 3rd-placed Athletico Deva and Brian Munchingflapjack producing vital away wins at rivals Tree Hill High (4th) and OWC Albion (5th) respectively. Deva, who lost their first two matches of term but have since suffered just one further defeat (1-0 at GNR in the second leg of the doubleheader, having dealt the Railwaymen their own last setback in the first leg), struck twice in the first half to win 2-0 at Tree Hill and sweep right back into the third tier as well. The Deviants are three points behind the leaders but 7 clear of both THH and OWC, after two second-half goals carried the Flapjacks to a 3-1 victory at Albion's Colosseum of Dread. The Munchies themselves are 4 points ahead of the pair, meaning they can sew up the last promotion slot with a win over struggling Eintracht Midwest in Thursday’s penultimate game.

              On Monday, Midwest (9th) led at Veni Vici Vigata (6th), but an equaliser on the stroke of half-time and an injury to most promising midfielder Roland Ander at the start of the second half knocked the stuffing out of them, and they went down 2-1 to ensure they will finish 11th. VVV improved their chances of finishing top of the bottom half, as they are now two points clear of New Dresden in 7th – who became the first team since the end of the season before last to ship any points to the teenagers of Indigo Plateau. Zlatan Abrahamovic actually gave Plateau the lead at Netzer Park on 47 minutes, and though René Hacker levelled for the hosts Dresden could not prevent their overjoyed visitors snapping a run of 36 competitive defeats stretching back to late June.


              Division 2

              Well, well. The wobble has arrived at just the wrong time for a Saltney Drawers side who seemed to be racing to promotion – they did not lose until their 12th fixture, and bounced straight back with two wins, but this past week they have drawn at Heffron Hendecagon and then lost 1-0 at die Ambosse thanks to Edmundo Bivar’s strike early in the second half on Monday. It is merely the sixth goal the Drawers have conceded, yet they are now only a point ahead of 3rd-placed Ambosse with the same GD (+13), the Anvils easily the top scorers in the division with 30. Sandwiched between them are Azure Dragons, who won 3-1 at Andromache FC despite having Richie Rowson sent off on 54 minutes with the score at 2-0 – the first dismissal of his 123-game career, making his uncle Jarvis of Vita Mortis legend (5 reds, 66 yellows) proud at last. Andromache pulled a goal back but a penalty from Fergus Fortune swiftly restored the gap and the shorthanded Dragons held on comfortably to move level on points with Saltney, albeit only on +8 GD. The pair meet on the final day, in a game that could potentially see either take the title or both hand it over to the Anvils, depending.

              Littlewoods Legends could have made it just two points spanning the top 4, but their 0-0 home stalemate with Wharfedale Generals leaves them 3pts behind the trio above. Likewise Somers Town Sugar Imps (5th) lost major ground in a 3-0 thrashing at Wensleydale Blues, with wünderkind defender Declan Hauxwell carried off only 3 minutes in for good measure after a horrible challenge from Blues’ Melvin Aymes. An Albert Nethergill free kick had Wensleydale up at the interval, then 22-year-old Benjamin Hardaw-Force added to his winner over Andromache days earlier with two second-half goals to treble his season’s tally at a vital time.
              The Imps, now marooned in midtable four points from the team above and five from the one below – and, more importantly, seven points and 6 goals from promotion and six points and 10 goals from relegation – are thus the only team bar winless Heffron who have nothing really to play for. The Hendos’ 4-1 battering by Cods of War at Rockall, with a hat-trick from Phillip Hibbitt quadrupling his season’s total, has however made things very interesting indeed for the four teams from 6th-9th. Cods (9th) have produced two straight Monday wins and are just a point behind Wensleydale (8th) still – while narrowly the other side of the safety line the Generals’ point lifted them ahead of Andromache to 6th. The pair meet at Wharfedale today in a real ‘six-pointer’, separated by just that one point, with Andromache also ahead of Wensleydale on goals scored alone. All three clubs are on -3 GD, with Cods below them on -11. The final day also features a potentially decisive meeting of two of the quartet, with Andromache hosting the Cods.
              Last edited by Various Artist; 18-11-2021, 14:42.

              Comment


                Division 1
                What was that about wobbles? Whoft Fluffopolis must have a hang-up about the middle of the month: their only two defeats of the season prior to this past week came on October 11th and 14th, before what is now another pair back-to-back on November 11th and 15th. Both of the latter two have come against their immediate rivals, too, with the 3-0 home reverse to Dandy Town (2nd) last Thursday followed by a 2-1 at Rejects Redux (3rd) on Monday thanks to Noel Colbourne’s 74th-min free kick. Meanwhile the Dandies swept 3-0 up by just after half-time at home to Turd Division, then got rattled by a late fightback from the bottom side but hung on 3-2 to remain ahead of Redux on GD. Both however are now just three points behind Whoft, whose “rampage to the title” as I put it last week has rather stumbled with the winning line in sight.
                Fortunately for the Fluffers, they still clinched promotion with a week to spare thanks to Waveney Valley Swifts’ own wavering form. The Swifts are unbeaten in the second half of the season, since a home loss to Whoft in the first leg of their doubleheader, but a virtually action-devoid 0-0 at home to Portsmouth FC this Monday was their fifth draw in those seven games and they are now 7 points behind the leaders and 4 adrift of both the Dandies and Rejects. They have a bit of a fight on to stay 4th right now, with Wednesday de la Zouch closing in to 2pts behind after a 1-0 win at Hampshire Deers via David Shanks’ penalty. Weds (5th) are now 5pts clear of the Deers, who slip below Portsmouth to 7th on GD.
                There is then a further four-point gap to 8th, but Banik Roystonov there have given themselves a chance of beating the drop by snatching a crucial 1-0 home win over Kernow Kensa (9th) thanks to Dirk Blaha’s 79th-min header. That relegates Kernow to the third tier, their second straight demotion and just five seasons since they were crowned league champions.

                OTF

                The side whom Kensa nicked that trophy out from under the noses of, Vita Mortis, have of course lately made a speciality of finishing 2nd in the league and, indeed, blowing the title on the last day, doing so again last season as Berkshire Swine instead grabbed their own second OTF championship. This time around the pair have been doing battle at the very summit once again, with the Swine’s victory at the Hollows in the second of their midterm doubleheaders looking like making all the difference up until Monday, with the pair pulling clear of the rest in a seeming two-horse race. Then, though, both sides blinked simultaneously. Mortis were thrashed 3-0 in a one-sided derby affair at Great Ouse Town (4th), for only their second loss in 22 and first away from home since a 1-0 at Eriskay Expression on August 19th. The Swine meanwhile had second-generation defensive star Timo Tolsma stretchered off at the Stef Tolsma Arena with a career-worst injury half an hour in against 3rd-placed Four Candles, and despite still having much the better of the game they were mugged by the visitors’ only shot of the match – Fraser Dobie firing home ten minutes into the second half to nick the three-time champions a win that keeps them still mathematically in with a chance of adding another trophy to their own cabinet. It was the Sty Council’s first competitive defeat since August 26th (a 2-0 home loss to Csiki Monkeys), ending a 19-match unbeaten streak, and keeping the gap at the top at a single point but narrowing the chasm between themselves to the Candles to five.

                Ouse are four further back and looking very likely to finish 4th, with a six-point cushion to the Monkeys who climb to 5th thanks to a 2-1 win at Croesoswallt Dragons. Home defender Yassir Badr received a direct red card 35 minutes in, his first dismissal in 130 appearances, but the 10 men held tight until Barnabás Bajcsy finally struck twice on 72’ and 82’ for the Monkeys. The Dragons promptly pulled one back, yet fell to a defeat that drops them into the relegation zone in 8th. That was after some more late drama at the Glen, where Eriskay Expression had come from behind to lead 2-1 at home to Locomotiv Noj before Rowan Bywater missed an 83rd-minute penalty that could’ve clinched it... only for Milton Lineker to score their third two minutes later anyway. That did prove vital, as Mavras Alvertis quickly headed his second of the day for Locomotiv, but the Islanders hung on at 3-2 to leapfrog both their visitors and the Dragons from 9th to 7th. They are only a single goal ahead of the latter after those last goals in each game, but two points (and three goals) ahead of Noj.
                Either side of the trio, meanwhile, another key clash saw Zeugmaspor (10th) grab a vital win of their own at Steaua Bridge (6th) via Necil Sanmez’s 69th-minute finish that settled a very close matchup. It means that just 4 points spans the whole bottom half of the table, with Steaua a single point ahead of Eriskay and Croesoswallt, and Zeugma merely one behind Noj. Today sees Zeugma and Steaua host the top two and Expression travel to the Blue Fen, while Noj go to the Host of Trophies Past in a potentially do-or-die effort against the Dragons – in what is remarkably the solitary meeting of any two of that bottom five in the closing week. The final day sees all five face different members of the current top half, notwithstanding that the Monkeys in 5th could yet be dragged back into the mix if they slip up at the Candles today...
                Last edited by Various Artist; 18-11-2021, 14:48.

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                  Plenty of drama left there. Great reports VA.

                  Comment


                    Sorry I can't seem to get them done a bit earlier, it'd be nice if they didn't arrive quite so close to the next round of matches – which has probably rendered half of what I said above irrelevant already!

                    Comment


                      Presuming I haven't screwed up my timings (a distinct possibility), it's training day in the OTF league.

                      I'm also going to post 'The Game' links to the final day title/relegation deciders in the top division, in an attempt to remember to watch them side-by-side.
                      Eriskay-Mortis: https://xperteleven.com/(319282806,0)
                      Steaua-Swine: https://xperteleven.com/(319282838,0)

                      Comment


                        OTF training day is tomorrow, Human League is Tuesday.

                        Comment


                          Human League is definitely Tuesday, but I believe OTF is today. Season end date is the 23rd.

                          Comment


                            I thought it was the day before the final game? Is that not the case?

                            Comment


                              It's always three days before the end of season as stated on the league info page, that can be one or two days before the next game depending which day it is.

                              Comment


                                And for good measure my cat has outstared yours.

                                Comment


                                  My working outs are normally a bit more convoluted than either of yours, I aim to have the training end on the morning of the next game day after the update. So in OTF the season ends on the 23rd, next game day after that is Thursday 25th, training takes five days so that's how I calculated the 20th as training day.

                                  In most leagues I think that works out the same as Sean's calculation? Perhaps sometimes I could do the training earlier, but I feel happy as long as the players' form has been bumped up in time for the first friendly.

                                  Comment


                                    Thanks for the reminder. I was always doing the Training on training day, but since a few months I changed that, I am normally doing them one or two days later, so that they come out of training after the first friendly. I think sometime players can get red arrovs after the first friendly, so they have to train then again. I also saw that some player can get out of the red arrows into the green after the first friendly, so I decided to get the players out of training after the first game. I might be wrong, but I do think that works for me.

                                    Comment


                                      I can't do any until sponsor money day, anyway. Not massively optimistic about the change report either.

                                      Comment


                                        Originally posted by lambers View Post
                                        Presuming I haven't screwed up my timings (a distinct possibility), it's training day in the OTF league.

                                        I'm also going to post 'The Game' links to the final day title/relegation deciders in the top division, in an attempt to remember to watch them side-by-side.
                                        Eriskay-Mortis: https://xperteleven.com/(319282806,0)
                                        Steaua-Swine: https://xperteleven.com/(319282838,0)
                                        Sooner you than me, too much for the nerves. I will be sleeping through it all on the assumption I’ve blown it.

                                        #notmindgames

                                        Comment


                                          Originally posted by MortalJoe View Post
                                          Thanks for the reminder. I was always doing the Training on training day, but since a few months I changed that, I am normally doing them one or two days later, so that they come out of training after the first friendly. I think sometime players can get red arrovs after the first friendly, so they have to train then again. I also saw that some player can get out of the red arrows into the green after the first friendly, so I decided to get the players out of training after the first game. I might be wrong, but I do think that works for me.
                                          I’m doing this more now too.

                                          Elsewhere in The Establishment I am having fun with Roberto11x’s painstakingly assembled wealth: 129m of squad and 33m in the bank. He was doing the thing where the whole squad are the same age and you smash everyone else every 10-15 seasons. Well I’m not sitting around waiting, this is a league of 12 so I need to get competitive. Selling sufficient 22/10s (and a 22/11) to retro-build an age balanced squad. All the things you’re not meant to do, but it’s a one-off opportunity. When I told Daisy I’d like to take up the next vacancy I didn’t realised what I’d get.

                                          Comment


                                            OTF Season 65 Round 17 Round-Up:

                                            OTF

                                            Top two Berkshire Swine and Vita Mortis looked to be eking out hard-fought away wins, both edging ahead late on in their games at Zeugmaspor and Steaua Bridge, until Yaman Dursan's dramatic 88th-minute equaliser, their first attempt on goal, gave Zeugma a point and brought about a change at the top, Mortis moving above the Swine thanks to their eventual 2-0 victory at The Bridge. On the final day, Swine need to better Mortis' result if they are to retain their title when the title challengers are both up against relegation-threatened sides. Mortis travel to Eriskay Expression, who are 8th, while the Swine visit 7th-placed Steaua. Steaua and Expression are two of five teams who could still be relegated, but realistically it is a straight fight between them for the final place. Croesoswallt Dragons took themselves within touching distance of safety on Thursday with a crushing 5-0 win at Locomotiv Noj, Cliff Anthony particularly enjoying the day with two goals and three assists. Noj drop to the bottom, below Zeugmaspor, and although they still have a mathematical chance of survival, their goal difference now makes that all but impossible. It's a similar story for Zeugma, albeit they are two goals better off. Expression dropped into the bottom three as a result of their 2-1 defeat at Great Ouse Town, who will finish 4th. Four Candles are guaranteed 3rd place following their 2-0 home win over AFC Csiki Monkeys, who are 5th but safe.

                                            Division 1

                                            Whoft Fluffopolis need a point to clinch the title after their 2-0 home win over relegated Kernow Kensa, but Dexter Sprockett will not be around to help them get it after he managed to pick up a straight red in the 93rd minute. Behind the Fluffers, Dandy Town and Rejects Redux both won to secure their returns to the top flight. A goal from Tomas Bachini saw the Dandies to victory over Portsmouth FC, while the Rejects were comfortable 2-0 winners at Turd Division, who look set to wrap up bottom place. The third relegation place will go to Portsmouth or Banik Roystonov. The latter currently occupy 8th place, a point behind Portsmouth, but they boosted their chances of survival with a 2-0 win at Wednesday de la Zouch, whose distant promotion hopes were thus killed off. Hampshire Deers are now clear of relegation danger following a 2-0 win at Waveney Valley Swifts, young midfielder Gerard Ferguson scoring both goals. It was the Swifts' first defeat in eight, but only two wins in eleven has seen their promotion bid fall apart.

                                            Division 2

                                            A spectacular and surprising 5-2 defeat for 4th-placed Littlewoods Legends at Cods of War, in which Jon Nazib hit a hat-trick, ended their promotion hopes and means the top three are now all guaranteed to go up - but the battle for the title remains very much alive. Saltney Drawers' goalless encounter at home to Wensleydale Blues was their third game without victory and sees them ousted from top spot by die Ambosse, who recorded a rather flattering 3-0 home win over long-since-relegated Heffron Hendecagon. Die Ambosse are a point ahead of the Drawers, and a point further back are Azure Dragons, who missed their opportunity to go top, going down 3-1 at mid-table Somers Town Sugar Imps. The Dragons host the Drawers today, while die Ambosse host Wensleydale knowing a win will secure the title. It's an important game for Wensleydale, though, who, one point from safety in 8th, are one of four teams trying to avoid joining Heffron in Division 3. That win for the Cods takes them up to 7th ahead of a huge game at Andromache FC, who are two points behind them in 9th after they were beaten 2-1 at fellow stragglers Wharfedale Generals. Skipper Phil Lock scored both goals for the Generals to seal a win that means they require just one more point to ensure survival.

                                            Division 3

                                            Knowing a win would seal promotion, Brian Munchingflapjack were quick to get the job done, going 2-0 up against Eintracht Midwest inside quarter of an hour. The first-half dismissal of Eintracht's Shay Morrow removed any lingering doubts about the outcome and a second goal for Nero Bertarelli rounded off the Flapjacks’ win. Going up as champions will be Great Northern Railway, who strolled to a 3-0 home victory over OWC Albion, opening up a five-point gap on 2nd-placed Athletico Deva who, with promotion in the bag, were disinclined to break into a sweat in their home game with Veni Vici Vigata, which ended goalless. The Flapjacks result meant victory wouldn't have been enough to keep Tree Hill High's promotion hopes alive, which is perhaps just as well, given that they were only able to draw 2-2 at New Dresden, having at one stage trailed to two Rene Hacker goals. Wooden-spooners Indigo Plateau were unable to add to the first point of the season they picked up last Monday, as Pinewood Passers scored two quick goals in the final 15 minutes to grab a 2-1 win that lifts them to 7th above New Dresden in what was the only positional change of the day.
                                            Last edited by Hot Orange; 22-11-2021, 15:21.

                                            Comment


                                              Matchday 13 of the Official Xpert 11 Ladies League means the big finale of Season 63 is just around the corner. Where is hasn’t already happened and it’s just the sweeping up and tidying away after the party left to do, that is.

                                              Code:
                                              Division 1a
                                              
                                              Drakaina        2 - 4    Kalkbrottet FC
                                              Heggarty 25', 49'        Pedras 15', 64'
                                              Kvalvik (sent off) 61'        Dorlin (pen) 68'
                                                              Niculae 83'
                                              
                                              
                                              Division 1b
                                              
                                              Provokator FC        2 - 1    Mauchline Belles
                                              Vanhove 22'            ogueira 57'
                                              Miljevic 92'
                                              
                                              
                                              Division 3e
                                              
                                              Coxy Ladies Wulpen    1 - 0    FC Nee-Nee
                                              Roosens 83'
                                              
                                              Murcielago        1 - 0    Viking South Utsira
                                              Underwood 48'
                                              
                                              
                                              Division 4k
                                              
                                              Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC    1 - 1    Söderbönerna
                                              Ichwan 90'            Lorienne 72'
                                              
                                              Mupparna        3 - 2    Bombay Green Rockets
                                              Markeng 30'            Paes (pen) 5'
                                              Hyggen 67'            Baumann 51'
                                              Tell 90'
                                              
                                              
                                              Division 4n
                                              
                                              FC Roblar        0 - 0    Cassiopeia
                                              
                                              
                                              Division 5:14
                                              
                                              New Zealand Fc        2 - 0    Cinghiali
                                              Turner 42'
                                              Norrstedt 69'
                                              
                                              
                                              Division 5:17
                                              
                                              LNWR Locomotive        0 - 0    SLB Femenino
                                              
                                              
                                              Division 5:18
                                              
                                              Rising Stars        5 - 0    Change Right WFC
                                              Massa 11'
                                              Veríssimo 33'
                                              Andorinha 40'
                                              Monção 65'
                                              Campi 92'
                                              
                                              
                                              Division 5:21
                                              
                                              Haydock Ladies        1 - 3    Invisible Ladies
                                              Kalimos (pen) 89'        Nylén 25'
                                                              Marshland 59'
                                                              Forsyth (pen) 74'
                                              
                                              Red Shorts        0 - 2    ASU Politehnica
                                                              Hammevik 6'
                                                              Motta 63'
                                              
                                              Division 5:26
                                              
                                              Zeugma Dostluk Spor    0 - 2    Ladies Baby
                                                              Bark 54'
                                                              Fursth 63'
                                               
                                                  
                                              Division 5:27
                                              
                                              Empire Of The Sun    0 - 0    Menywod Maeshafn
                                              
                                                              Beck (sent off) 73'
                                              
                                              
                                              Division 5:28
                                              
                                              Country Girls        0 - 1    Dublin City Womens FC
                                                              Hempel 53'
                                              
                                              
                                              Division 5:31
                                              
                                              Csiki Girls        0 - 1    Hällegård
                                                              Crowley 73'
                                              
                                              
                                              Division 6:39
                                              
                                              The Amazons        0 - 4    Ullapool Northern Star
                                                              Towne 14'
                                                              Iosifescu 22'
                                                              Mamouni 34', (pen) 44'
                                              
                                              
                                              Division 6:42
                                              
                                              Ipswich Town Ladies    0 - 6    Hazeldean Inchmistress
                                                              Mejía 1', 24'
                                                              Bunton 18', 72'
                                                              Ernström 77'
                                                              Pedersen 89'
                                                              Bunton (missed pen) 65'
                                              The situation was bleak for Drakaina ahead of their match against Kalkbrottet FC. Not only did The Dragons need to win against the side second in Division 1a, and only a win was possibly enough to have any hope of survival at this level, Etienne’s side also needed fifth-placed FC Dench Ladies not to beat bottom-of-the-table Year Zero. Who had precisely one point to their names before this round of fixtures.
                                              The Delphi boss may have been tempted to not chase the dragon here, and just accept this was a lost cause. But one player was not so fatalistic, Gael Heggarty reacting to an early Kalkbrottet strike with two of her own either side of the interval to have the Greeks 2-1 up on the hour mark.
                                              What came next probably sums up a disastrous campaign for The Dragons: Zara Kvalvik came on as a sub on 60 minutes… and was sent off for elbowing 17 seconds later! What the hell?? That Viking indiscipline turned a game which Drakaina had had in deservedly under control – The Dragons had been the better side for the opening hour, but were now very much on the back foot. They were also unable to avoid giving away set pieces, Kalkbrottet levelling with their second direct free-kick of the match, going ahead from the penalty spot and wrapping things up with another free-kick routine.
                                              As it happened and as expected not even a win would have been good enough for Drakaina as Dench won their game. The Dragons are down, sitting seventh ahead of a dead rubber final game tomorrow, which they might win to climb a futile place as it is against Year Zero.

                                              There was motivation for Mauchline Belles ahead of their game at Provokator FC, but it was self interest and more general principles. The Belles were already as good as down, six points adrift of safety. But with the boss of their hosts a notable dull bore, getting something from the game would have been sweet for Jdsx and co.
                                              They gave it a good bash, recovering from falling 1-0 down to be level going into stoppage time thanks to Filomena Fogueira’s 57 minute strike. But just as events for Drakaina summed up their season, the injury time concession to lose 2-1 was entirely typical of how things have gone in this corner of Ayrshire.
                                              Mauchline are now sure to finish seventh in Division 1b. As it happens they can still destroy Provokator’s promotion hopes, as their final game is against She-Wolves, who are currently one point ahead in the championship race. Lose that an Provokator can’t win the title.

                                              Coxy Ladies Wulpen were still harbouring hopes of a play-off place when they hosted an FC Nee-Nee side not safe from relegation from Division 3e.
                                              The Waders trailed the team in possession of that play-off spot by three points, though, meaning only a win was sure to be enough for the Flemish side to take the season to its final weekend. And for a while that looked like it might be beyond Janik’s team. A very long while, in fact. You might say Nee-Nee were the better side… and you would be right if you did. However the visitors found Coxy Ladies ‘keeper Sarah Asselman in superb, unbeatable form. And they had made the opposite choice on their own goalie, opting for their young third choice stopper.
                                              That decision came back to haunt the Nee-Nee manager when Wulpen were awarded a free-kick in shooting range on 83 minutes. Dead ball specialist Laetitia Roosens was entrusted with the responsibility and didn’t disappoint, beating the young goalie all-ends-up.
                                              That was enough to secure the win for The Waders, which meant all Waders eyes turning to Viking South Utsira’s game at second-in-the-table Murcielago.
                                              This was a match where glory awaited The Blood Eagles – win and Velvet Android’s side would be crowned champions. However there was little point in Viking risking it all chasing the victory, as the same was also true of a draw. In fact, given the six point and +19 goal difference gap between the sides, even a narrow loss would virtually guarantee the crown, albeit whilst not officially securing it mathematically.
                                              In the circumstances a degree of DV chasing was understandable for the Norwegian Islanders, whatever the more rabid corners of the Coxy Ladies twitosphere might think. Playing for a goalless draw is tricky though, and VSU didn’t quite get the balance right, giving up too much possession and too many sights of Monike Austrheim’s goal. The 1-0 defeat was coming before and after Murcielago’s 48th minute winner.
                                              That defeat kept the Viking champagne on ice for another week, which just means it will be perfectly chilled to crown the champions at Ragnar Rock tomorrow. And they will be champions – it would take a completely implausible 18 goal swing to deny them. In fact Murcielago’s thoughts will be anywhere but taking top spot – instead they will be concentrated on avoiding a defeat in a direct head-to-head with Coxy Ladies that would see The Waders leapfrog into second spot [Wulpen would already have been second, just, on goal difference if VSU had beaten Murcielago last week… not that I’m bitter or anything!]

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                                                Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC hosted Söderbönerna holding a two point advantage on their visitors… and on fellow OTF side Bombay Green Rockets, who sat third in Division 4k at the start of play. This meant The Sea Spirits could end the day anywhere from already crowned as champions to sitting third in the table, depending on this and Bombay’s results!
                                                The Sea Goddesses seemed somewhat frozen by the opportunity, and maybe also by the sudden run of poor form that they had had prior to this game, picking up just one point from their previous two matches. For most of the game it looked like a battle for SeanoftheShed’s side to add to that as Söderbönerna had more of the ball and more of the chances.
                                                KRK were hanging on grimly to a 0-0 until the 72nd minute when their visitors finally broke through. A fight back didn’t look the most likely at this point given the paucity of chances for the Indonesians, but whilst it was still 0-1 there was always a chance. Anything could happen. 17 year-old defender Ratih Ichwan getting her first senior goal just prior to the clock ticking into stoppage time would have been far down the list of possibilities, but that just proves that anything can happen means exactly what it says, because Ichwan rising to head the equaliser was precisely what did happen!
                                                That result opened the door for Bombay Green Rockets, who didn’t know it but were in the position where a win over Mupparna would take them top of the table.
                                                Not that that was necessarily going to be easy for HKS3’s side to achieve given Mupparna were fourth in the table, but not completely out of the woods in terms of avoiding relegation. They needed a win to ensure their safety. The Green rockets started well though, Fátima Paes converting a penalty in the 5th minute to put them ahead.
                                                This advantage didn’t last, Mupparna levelling on the half-hour. Barbara Baumann restored Mupparna’s lead with a direct free-kick on 51 minutes, but by now it was clear this was against the run of play – Mupparna were looking the stronger in open play. And this became telling as they scored once on 67 minutes to level, and then again on 90 to claim a win.
                                                That meant that rather than The Green Rockets climbing to top spot, they remained third ahead of the final day. A final day where they visit Söderbönerna. That might help Kanjeng over the line, as a draw in that match and The Sea Spirits are 4k champions regardless of their result at bottom of the table Albion. The worst case for KRK is a Söderbönerna – that this the only outcome in the other game that demands Kanjeng beat Albion to be crowned. Which they really should do. As for Bombay, it’s win or bust. But a win would see them have at least a play-off spot, and could see them as champions if something dreadful happens to KRK in their game…

                                                The outcomes were very distinct for Cassiopeia ahead of their top-of-the-table clash at Division 4n leaders FC Roblar. Win, and The Vainglories would go into the final day top of the table. Draw and instead they would enter the final showdown in second. But lose, and they could well find themselves third ahead of the final showdown.
                                                A lot for Stormstopper and co to consider then. The boss’ decision appeared to be more focusing on not losing than winning, as he set his side up to be hard to break down with five at the back. This plan was somewhat undermined by an injury for Gertrude Schmoll after 19 minutes that will keep her out for 11 days, so for the final match and potentially also any play-off. Which is still on the cards, as the snuff the match out ploy worked for Cassiopeia, this game boring it’s way to a goalless draw.
                                                The value of it was obvious from the table after the game, which shows The Vainglories second, a point adrift of the leaders and a point clear of third-placed Jocvijeve Zecice. Win their last game against relegated Atomic, and Cassiopeia have at worst a play-off spot, and would take the title if Roblar didn’t win their game. Anything else probably means missing out, assuming Zecice don’t mess up against one of the weakest teams in this section.

                                                Cinghiali’s slide towards relegation from Division 5:14 would be complete if they lost to play-off chasers New Zealand Fc.
                                                Some of the recent comments from Boars boss SitsWithRemote had commentators wondering if he was really that bothered by the thought of a return to Division 6. The Piani Resinelli side were certainly in free-fall towards it, their previous seven games having generated just two points to their total. There was never any real sign of pulling out of that tailspin here as New Zealand had the majority of the ball and chances, getting goals either side of the break to take the victory.
                                                That was enough to ensure the end of Cinghiali’s spell at this level due – the bottom-of-the-table Boars are now four points from safety ahead of their final game. Which will be a wave goodbye.

                                                The metaphors were too easy regarding LNWR Locomotive ahead of their game against SLB Femenino. The Steamers were going like a train, etc., etc. You get the drift. But let’s not get to blasé here – Locomotive were on astonishing form coming in to this one, Viktor Boskovic’s side having won seven in a row.
                                                There were signs that The Steamers were losing momentum, though. They had dominated most of their wins, up until last Tuesday when they stole the points against leaders Cornish Maids. And this was nearly as tricky a game – SLB were second in the table.
                                                The game showed Locomotive really running out of steam. It was all SLB. However such was the momentum the hosts possessed they were still able to free-wheel to a goalless draw, despite having only 40% and one chance to their opponents four.
                                                It doesn’t appear that The Steamer won’t quite make it to the end of the line, though. Given how the game went this was more like a point gained that two dropped, and it was enough to lift LNWR to fourth in the table, two points adrift of second. However a win for the Cornish Maids puts them four points away and now out of reach, and the fixture list also conspires against The Steamers – it’s likely that even a win in their last game against Stoke City won’t be enough for a play-off place. It was an epic run though.

                                                Too many defeats meant that Rising Stars chances of grabbing Division 5:18’s play-off place were fading; The Ascenders were four points adrift of Angels of the North ahead prior to playing Change Right WFC – even a win wouldn’t be enough if their rivals also won their game.
                                                Blamb’s Stars fulfilled their part of the deal in spectacular style, Norma Massa (11 minutes), Érica Veríssimo (33) and Penélope Andorinha (40) rattling them into a commanding lead by half-time. However all ears were turned to the Angels game, and the news wasn’t encouraging – The Stars rivals were one up at the break.
                                                The team kept playing and hoping, Edite Monção adding a fourth on 65 minutes. However by the time young defender Fiorenza Campi netted a fifth in stoppage time the mood around the Ascension Arena was desultory – Angels of the North had won 2-0, and Rising would miss the play-offs this season.
                                                The Stars will in fact finish third in the 5:18 table whatever happens on the final day.

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                                                  Invisible Ladies were already down prior to their trip to Haydock Ladies.
                                                  The See-Throughs had more than just pride from a rare win to play for though – PebbletheFish’s side knew that any kind of positive result against the side in sixth would be a boon to fellow OTF side ASU Politehnica’s survival bid. They certainly went about it with determination, dominating the game in a way we have rarely seen in this disappointing season. And making that dominance tell, Vivianne Nylén putting them ahead on 25 minutes, Estelle Marshland doubling it on 59.
                                                  When Darlene Forsyth converted a penalty on 74 minutes the points were safe. It was to be just Invisible’s second win of the season, with Haydock’s late penalty of no consequence to the outcome. And little consolation to the hosts, either.
                                                  That result gave ASU Politehnica a slightly unexpected chance to confirm their Division 5:21 safety. To do so, though, meant pulling off an even bigger surprise – winning at leaders Red Shorts.
                                                  Gun Hammevik got the Scholars off to a great start, heading home a corner just 6 minutes in. And Granthamian’s side never looked back from that, having the better of the rest of the game. If there was a sense of opportunity missed when Melania Badoi had a ‘second’ disallowed on 50 minutes amongst the travelling fans, it was shared by the students on the pitch who kept diligently beavering away and got the second anyway on 63 minutes when Fernanda Motta fired home.
                                                  That was enough to claim the win, which did indeed secure Politehnica’s Division 5:21 status… and also knocked Red Shorts off the top of the table. My heart bleeds. As for The See-Throughs, their win means they probably won’t finish bottom of the pile this season. Which is something, at least.

                                                  Good recent results had given Zeugma Dostluk Spor breathing space ahead of their game against Ladies Baby. Which was comforting as the visitors still harboured play-off ambitions of their own, although ZDS themselves were out of reach.
                                                  That was the cautious way of looking at it. The positive was the title was up for grabs for Antepli Ejderha’s side, who just needed a win to claim it. Maybe that impacted on the Anatolians performance, which was nothing like it had been in their four-match winning run just prior. Zeugma were strangely subdued, offering little going forward and having to work hard at the back.
                                                  When the latter broke down after the break that cushion became invaluable as it means ZDS stay top by two points despite the defeat. Their goal difference is inferior to second-in-the-table Cebollitas though, which therefore means only a win on the final day against relegated Blade Runners will be enough to claim the Division 5:26 title without relying on other results.

                                                  Menywod Maeshafn were 99.9% sure of their play-off place prior to kick-off at Empire Of The Sun – IsThatcherDeadYet’s side trailed Division 5:27 leaders Three Lionesses by five points, which was unbridgeable if the unbeaten Lionesses won either of their last two games. Or drew both of them. And the gap beneath Maeshafn to Brkate Zetovke was six points, making a draw in either of the North Wales’ side’s last two matches enough to secure their play-off spot.
                                                  They got that point in this one thanks to something of a bore draw. Maeshafn completely killed the game, sitting really deep but offering Empire no chances despite only having 37% of the ball. They only made one chance themselves at the other end, which they didn’t convert.
                                                  The game only had one legacy, and even that a minor one as Morgan Beck’s straight red card on 73 minutes only means she will be suspended for the dead rubber final game of the season – she will be available again come the play-off. Something Maeshafn are now certain of contesting as the gap above stays at five points (Three Lionesses also drew 0-0) and the gap behind them in second is now four points.

                                                  Dublin City Womens FC’s relegation from Division 5:28 had become unavoidable on matchday 12, making their game at bottom side Country Girls about the start of the confidence rebuilding process for Mortal Joe’s side.
                                                  The Molly Malones did a decent job of that, on balance. Though you could still see there were issues as seven chances only produced a solitary strike, Michelle Hempel netting after 53 minutes. But with the Dublin defence playing rock solid, one was enough to claim a fourth win this season.
                                                  One that meant The Dubs will finish sixth in Division 5:28 come what may on the final day.

                                                  The chances of Csiki Girls retaining their Division 5:31 status looked very slim ahead of their clash with Hällegård. Two reasons: One, Hällegård were only second on goal difference and had much to play for, and two, even if Csiki Girls won, they would be down if Cluj Sisterhood beat bottom-of-the-table Barca Ladies.
                                                  Talk in situations like this is about control the controllable. But that was more difficult than the platitude suggests for Ad hoc’s side given who their opponents were. And that was before events starting conspiring, such as starting defender Eunice Ackram getting an 11-day knock with only an 18 year-old back up as a defender on the Csiki bench.
                                                  Even with Ackram the chances are this wasn’t going Csiki Girls way. Hällegård had the better of things, and if they only won 1-0 it was a fairly comprehensive 1-0. The hosts ‘nil’ was the most obvius part of that score, as Csiki Girls never had a chance.
                                                  Or not in this game, at least. Frustratingly they did overall, as elsewhere Barca had picked up the shock win. But this defeat means the Csiki’s have suffered back-to-back relegations anyway. They will finish at best sixth and at worst seventh this season.

                                                  The Polaris party must have been a bit wild, as Ullapool Northern Star’s perfect season came to an end immediately after winning the Division 6:39 title with three whole matches to play. There was therefore not much at all for Delicatemoth’s side to chase in terms of results when her charges sallied forth at The Amazons.
                                                  Ullapool only bothered rousing themselves for the first half of this game. But those 45 minutes of second gear effort were more than enough to make it 12 wins from 13. The goals were neatly spaced out, Cattie Towne getting the opener on 14 minutes, Alunita Iosifescu the second on 22 and Inès Mamouni the third and fourth on 34 and 44 respectively, her second coming from the penalty spot.
                                                  UNS will wave goodbye to Division 6:39 with a game against The Supremes on the final day. No-one needs to keep hanging on here.

                                                  Hazeldean Inchmistress were likewise already champions, with 11 wins and a draw to their names prior to their penultimate match of the campaign at Ipswich Town Ladies.
                                                  The hosts, despite being actively managed, have been quite rubbish for a number of seasons, which is a bit close to the bone of reality. This version of Ipswich can make the real life men look good, given they were behind in just seconds yet again, Elvia Mejía scoring a direct free-kick in the very first minute. Karen Bunton made it two on 18, before Mejía headed her second of the game on 24 minutes.
                                                  Bunton had a chance to also complete a brace from the spot in the 65th minute. Which she missed, but no matter as seven minutes later she headed The Imperials fourth of the day anyway. Elinor Ernström also headed home on 77 minutes to make it five for the Framleyshire side. All that was missing was a goal for star veteran forward Line Pedersen, in part because boss Foxy265 had held her back for the first hour of the game. Until it wasn’t missing, Pedersen finally getting her goal on 89 minutes. And at last smiling after it.
                                                  Hazeldean will conclude their glorious Division 6:42 title campaign against CF Fuego Eagles, with thoughts already turned to Division 5 next term.

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                                                    With both the Human League and OTF silly seasons about to begin, be warned it's very much a buyer's market. In my crazy fire sale at Tamworth Reds I've sold a swathe of 22/10s or similar, and I reckon not one has reached his book value. Some have missed by more than 2m. I think this may be because of the improvement in academy products which was tweaked a while back (am I right in that?). Which makes me even less inclined to fund my academies except the Xpert Ladies, where actually buying a half decent player is always a struggle.

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