X11 season 45 - de rigueur Mortis

[Hot Orange]

OTF Season 60 Round 8

OTF

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Further slip-ups from the teams below them meant that Vita Mortis' 2-1 home win over Great Ouse Town saw them open up a whopping seven-point lead at the top of the league. Half-time substitute Lance Porter headed in Mortis' winner, just two minutes after coming on. Ouse stay 6th in what is an extremely congested table, Mortis apart. Onto those slip-ups. Dandy Town were 2nd at the start of the day but fell to 3rd after needing a last-minute goal from Sakal Boman to grab a point at home to bottom side Zeugmaspor. Given that the late equaliser was scored on the break, the visitors may wonder if they might have been better off shutting up shop. Four Candles surrendered 3rd spot and slumped to 5th as they went down 2-0 at home to Kernow Kensa, who have won three on the bounce and are up to 4th. Claiming the vacated 2nd spot were Croesoswallt Dragons following their 2-0 victory at home to St Pancras Starmers. A third consecutive defeat for the reigning champions sees them drop into the relegation zone as they were overtaken by Hideous Towns, who eked out a 1-0 win at Banik Roystonov. It was Banik's fifth consecutive single-goal defeat, dropping them to 9th.

Division 1

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Having claimed top spot on Monday, Berkshire Swine held onto it with a 1-1 draw at 3rd placed Rejects Redux, Karel Ruban netting the equaliser in a game of few chances. Indeed, they increased their lead at the summit due to AFC Csiki Monkeys slumping to a comprehensive 2-0 home defeat by Whoft Fluffopolis. An own goal from Nimrod Revay gave the Fluffers the lead before a stoppage-time strike from Dexter Sprockett sealed the points that lifted them to 5th. A win for Turd Division would have taken them 2nd but they stay 4th after labouring to a goalless home draw with Wensleydale Blues, who are still without a win but climb to 9th. Steaua Bridge replace them at the bottom following a 2-0 home defeat by fellow strugglers Hampshire Deers, who were well in control throughout. It was the Deers first win at this level, but they stay 8th for now. Steaua's only win to date was against Berkshire Swine, a result that looks more incongruous by the week. Locomotiv Noj remained a point clear of the relegation zone thanks to a 1-0 win at Saltney Drawers, a spectacular late goal from Jerko Dukic rewarding a strong second-half display from Noj. Theofanis Kapatais was dismissed in injury time for the Drawers, who drop to 6th.

Division 2

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Great Northern Railway had to work hard to earn the win at Cods of War that kept them at the top of the table. Behind inside three minutes to Jon Nazib's goal, remarkably they saw both Nelson Bezerra and Chin Ae stretchered off within five minutes of each other just before half-time. Teenage substitute Eistein Bondevik rose to the occasion, hauling GNR level moments before the interval and a trademark Tommy McConville free kick early in the second period was enough to see off the bellicose batter-fillings, who stay 7th. In the game between 2nd and 3rd, a confident display from Eriskay Expression saw them to a 2-0 win at Heffron Hendecagon, keeping them a point behind GNR. Milton Lineker netted both goals. Heffron's defeat allowed Athletico Deva to move level on points with them in 4th, a late free kick from Lorenc Abazi giving Athletico a 2-1 win at home to FC Gloryhammer, who drop to the bottom of the table but who at least scored their first goal since the opening day, through Peter Travers. Die Ambosse could have gone 3rd, but they had a bad day at the office and went down 2-0 at home to The Gang Play Football and ended the day in 6th, one place behind their conquerors. A 2-0 victory for Eintracht Midwest over New Dresden lifted the former off the bottom and up to 8th, above the latter on goal difference.

Division 3

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Top v bottom was a predictably one-sided affair, two goals from Joacim Bobeck helping Wednesday de la Zouch to a straightforward 4-0 home win over Pinewood Passers and keeping the two teams at opposite ends of the table. OWC Albion took advantage of Tree Hill High's day off to move above them into 2nd, but they left things very late at Littlewoods Legends. A goal down with just minutes remaining, Earl Boot headed in an equaliser before Jure Robida and Noah Tremble both scored in stoppage time to give them a 3-1 victory. The Legends fall to 7th, and spare a thought for their 18-year-old midfielder Beto Schiavi, who came on for a few minutes of first-team experience in the 84th minute with his team 1-0 up. Try not to take it personally, Beto. Two goals midway through the second half from Sture Damberg gave Brian Munchingflapjack a 2-0 win at Nieuwegein Kneebiters and saw the teams swap places in 4th and 5th. A hat-trick of headers from Veni Vici Vigata's Manuel Juarez was the highlight of their 5-0 home win over Wharfedale Generals, a result that takes VVV up to 6th and leaves the Generals in 8th. Elmer Robertsson scored the other two. The first was yet another header but whether he made it a clean sweep of headers in converting the other goal, a penalty, is sadly undocumented.

[Sits]

A quality write-up to wake to. Thanks HO.

[pebblethefish]

Amongst all the alliterative alter-egos that Cods of War have attracted in these write-ups (are you two trying to do one for every letter?), "bellicose batter-fillings" has to be a contender for my favourite.

[Various Artist]

Agreed, that one's going to take some topping!

Great stuff HO, and aside from the wonderful imagery conjured by your final sentence I feel that post was worthy of a Like for the pathos in this bit alone:

spare a thought for their 18-year-old midfielder Beto Schiavi, who came on for a few minutes of first-team experience in the 84th minute with his team 1-0 up. Try not to take it personally, Beto.

[Various Artist]

Many thanks to AE for this, by the way. Like MortalJoe I feel both stupid and blind, because I too couldn't find the place on the site where it tells you how long your VIP has remaining for love nor money. Apparently I've got 147 days currently, who knew.

[Janik]

The report on matchday 1 in the Ladies League, and Round 1 in the Ladies Cup will be out... soon. Hopefully this evening. Maybe. And then the matchday 2 report will start. Oy vey!

[Sits]

The report on matchday 1 in the Ladies League, and Round 1 in the Ladies Cup will be out... soon. Hopefully this evening. Maybe. And then the matchday 2 report will start. Oy vey!

Janik you of all people shouldn’t be feeling any sense of obligation. We’re always grateful for whatever we get, if and when it arrives. Speaking on behalf of the lazy buggers here who never do write-ups.

[ad hoc]

What Sits said

[Granthamian]

Many thanks to AE for this, by the way. Like MortalJoe I feel both stupid and blind, because I too couldn't find the place on the site where it tells you how long your VIP has remaining for love nor money. Apparently I've got 147 days currently, who knew.

The hardest things to see are those that are right under your nose all the time! Just to add, seeing the number of days you have left is one thing, if you want to see what date that will be then go to to your Profile tab and under Settings it tells you the actual date your VIP will expire.

I'd also like to give a thumbs up to Janik, and to our other esteemed match summarisers. It takes a lot of effort to do what you do, please don't feel it is ever taken for granted!

[Janik]

Xpert XI official Ladies League Season 60, Matchday 1 report. Only a few hours after matchday 2 (the report on which will come out… soon!)

Division 1a

Drakaina                   1 - 0   Murtal FC
Gudlandur 63'
                                   Sj? (sent off) 80'


Division 2b

Tiril?n Tasavalta          2 - 0   Mauchline Belles
Mukulainen 30'
Naples 88'


Division 3d

Coxy Ladies Wulpen         0 - 0   Busby Babes


Division 3e

Dragonas Fire              2 - 0   Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC
Maucher 30'
Monkhouse 82'


Division 4i

Viking South Utsira        2 - 1   Propaganda
T.Kvalvik 30'                      Brask 83'
N.Austrheim 78'


Division 5:17

Krakens Bk                 0 - 2   LNWR Locomotive
                                   Reisinho 50'
                                   Deeney 85'


Division 5:22

B and B                    3 - 0   Bombay Green Rockets
Ekarna 52', 90'
S?derkvist 79'


Division 5:28

Cassiopeia                 0 - 0   Menywod Maeshafn


Division 5:32

Yoga Slackers              0 - 0   Csiki Girls


Division 6:27

Calibras Superkickers      1 - 1   I Cinghiali
van der Zwaan 10'                  Borgvardt 27'


Division 6:33

Rising Stars               3 - 0   Olimpia Satu Mare
Mon??o 2'
Elgeuse 82'
Ver?ssimo 87'


Division 6:38

Fair Maidens of FISO       3 - 2   Ullapool Northern Star
Edman (pen) 78'                    Segerstr?m (O.G.) 88'
Gudlandur 84'                      Mair 94'
B?cklund 90'


Division 6:41

Sakura FC                  2 - 0   Hazeldean Inchmistress
Hinto 10'
Zdrale 21'


Division 6:43

Invisible Ladies           2 - 1   The Anarchists
Clark 27'                          Seveborg 3'
Forsyth 79'

Mighty Minxes              0 - 2   ASU Politehnica
                                   Tilbe 11'
                                   Parker 89'


Division 6:52

Palma                      0 - 6   Zeugma Dostluk Spor
                                   ?z?lmez 3'
MacVitie (sent off) 66'            Kulakova 16', 35'
                                   Mansiz 18', 30'
                                   Nandorf (pen) 74'

Division 6:56

Pretty ladies              1 - 2   Dublin City Womens FC
Bodmar 77'                         Olander 21'
                                   Maaranen 88'

Drakaina are back in the second tier after one season at the top table. The Dragons began their attempt to get back there by hosting Murtal FC.
It wasn’t the slickest performance that Etienne’s side have ever turned in, Drakaina not creating a single chance in the first half. Maybe that was impacted by losing defender Sandra Byzhyti to injury midway through it? It will take her a projected 8 days to return to full fitness.
The Greeks got a bit more together after the break though, and took the lead on 63 minutes when Maria Gudlandur headed in a corner. That was against the run of play of the game overall, and The Dragons were still rather hanging on until Murtal’s Majken Sj? made her second bad challenge of the day on 80 minutes and got sent off.
That pretty well assured the opening win as Drakaina attempt to reverse their momentum.

It’s Division 2b once again for escapologists Mauchline Belles, who just about clung on last season after a good start seemingly had them well clear. Jdsx will be hoping for something clearer cut this term. A win at Tiril?n Tasavalta would have been an ideal start.
‘Would have been’ as The Belles didn’t make good use of a majority of the ball. Instead it was Tasavalta creating the chances. And scoring the goals, one in either half. Compounding a frustrating day, highly talented young forward Lisa McRenton (20/9!!) picked up an 11-day injury as the match entered stoppage time.
And so it begins… again!

Third place doesn’t tell half the story of Coxy Ladies Wulpen’s fourth tier debut last season. More to the point, despite having only just missed out on a play-off place, The Waders came into their match against old rivals Busby Babes having won just one of their previous nine games.
Janik’s side still seemed to be struggling with the lack of confidence created by that run, as the Curlew’s Nest visitors shaded this one. Arguably not well enough to deserve a goal and a victory, but it was clear The Waders merited neither. And didn’t get it either, going the full 90+ minutes goalless. ‘keeper Sarah Asselman and in front of her Player-of-the-Match Lien Valcke were imperious in the Wulpen rearguard though which meant they didn’t concede either.
And so it was yet another draw. Which was the bulk of that eight match winless run last term as well… though that was in Division 3e rather than their new surrounds of 3d.

Wulpen being moved sideways unfortunately means they miss out on playing newly promoted Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC, who have ended up in The Waders old stomping ground for their Division 3 debut (the first time in franchise history this high up the pyramid). The Spirits of the Sea were on the road (waves?) for their historic first game, travelling to Dragonas Fire.
This proved to be a tough debut for SeanoftheShed’s side as Fire started well and then got increasingly dominant. The Sea Goddessess moreorless held their own in the first half, with the key exception that Dragonas scored and they didn’t. The second, though, was one-way traffic with a second goal for the hosts.
Here’s hoping for better days and easier games in the coming weeks.

A small step sideways was handed to Viking South Utsira, who are still a fifth tier side after last terms’ play-off near miss, but now a Division 4i one. Game one in their new section saw them welcome Propaganda to Ragnar Rock.
The first half was an even affair, both sides having moreorless equal possession and exactly the same number of sights of goal. It was punctuated by a single strike, Tove Kvalvik firing The Blood Eagles ahead on the half-hour.
Velvet Android’s side appeared happy to hang on to that for most of the second half, creating no more chances until the 78th minute. When they did get another opening though, Nina Austrheim converted, knocking home a corner to make it 2-0. Propaganda pulled one back in the 83rd minute, and for once their claims that they deserved more were not just empty bluster. But due to past behaviour no-one believed them.

LNWR Locomotive were comfortably better than most of Division 5:17 last season. But so were two other teams, and The Steamers came up just short against those. Viktor Boskovic’s troops will be looking to go one or two better this campaign, which opened at Krakens Bk.
Locomotive clearly still had a head of steam up from last term as they were moving smoothly from the off. The breakthrough had been coming long before Fl?via Reisinho finally delivered it with a 50th minute header. Defender Callie Deeney fired home a second late on, her first strike for a club she has 60+ appearances for, to wrap up the three points.
The start of something? There must be a good chance it is.

Bombay Green Rockets recent trajectory has been a spectacular rise followed by an equally rapid fall. But are they now back at ground level on their return to Division 5:22? HKS3’s side first chance to find out came at an objectifying outfit I’m only willing to call B and B.
Given the unpleasantness of their foes, and the outcome of this game, a 3-0 defeat for The Rockets, I’m tempted to skip over it very quickly. Here’s hoping it was something of a one-off and Bombay can begin to increase thrust again in the coming weeks.

The season has opened with a whole bunch of OTF derbies for Cassiopeia, whose promotion has lifted them to the same Division, 5:28, as Menywod Maeshafn; The Vainglories travelled to the Welsh side in between legs of a Cup tie with Ullapool Northern Star!
It looked like IsThatcherDeadYet’s charges had taken the lead with the first sight of goal of the game when Meredith Smythe headed in a 25th minute corner. The goal was ruled out for a dubious offside though. Dubious? I should coco. Tina K?ck also thought that as well as she was booked a minute later for trying to explain basic geometry/the laws of Football to referee Will Taykabribe.
But it didn’t count, which meant a 30th minute breakaway for Maeshafn was the first ‘legitimate’ chance of the game. Morgan Beck was the player to race clear. She chipped the ball over the advancing Vera Buric, but also over the Cassiopeia cross bar.
Maeshafn continued to press, Leigh McRichter sending a diving header goalwards on 42 minutes that was met by an equally diving save from Buric. The hosts also had the next chance, albeit that didn’t arrive until nearly midway through the second half. And once again Buric was in their way, making a reflex save from Katherine Barker’s 66th minute volley.
The game then went into another lull up until the 88th minute, when K?ck, already in the book, dumbly threw and elbow. She received her second yellow card of the day, with the punishment nearly doubled when Helena Krcmarevic hit the post from the resulting free-kick. But to be honest Stormstopper’s side didn’t deserve the win and should probably be happy with an opening point away to the side who came second in this league last term.

[Janik]

Division 5:32 seems to exert an inexorable pull on Csiki Girls, who spent five seasons trying to escape, but then seemingly having finally done so two seasons ago find themselves immediately back to square one. Adhoc’s side’s latest attempt to drag themselves from the quick sand opened at Yoga Slackers, which sounds like an very good idea to me!
It is going to take The Csiki’s time to shake off their awful form from last season. They were not ready to do so quite yet as the Slackers dominated and rained shots on Trudi Wilding’s goal. However, being slackers, they omitted to actually score, which meant Csiki Girls got away with a rather fortuitous goalless draw (7-1 on chances to the hosts!).
This result might be one to look back on as the beginning of Csiki Girls renaissance as better results than performances is a way to get confidence back up again.

How to incorporate an Italian side into SitsWithRemote’s porcine empire? By naming them I Cinghiali, and giving them a club logo reminiscent of I, Claudius opening titles, but with the mosaic that of a Wild Boar (Cinghiali) rather than Derek Jacobi’s face [the snake crawls over the top of the mosaic]. The first league game under the new branding was also in a new section, Division 6:27. The hosts for it were Calibras Superkickers.
The Superkickers were the first to strike, netting after 10 minutes. But Cinghiali have had a pre-season together and a decent change report, so will be a rather different outfit this term. Their new resilience was on show as they fought back all square on 27 minutes, Annelie Borgvardt netting her first for the club.
The rest of the game was extremely even, with ample chances at both ends. But no more scoring as both ‘keepers held out, which, again, is positive news for The Boars as it shows the rapid development of first choice Sandra Balela.

Rising Stars fell last season, but these things are cyclical so there is a good hope that Blamb’s team will climb from Division 6:33 again this campaign. The first step on the ladder [do stars climb ladders??] was a home match against Olimpia Satu Mare.
Less than two minutes of the game had gone by before The Ascenders went in front, closed season signing Edite Mon??o*firing home her first for her new club. It was the start of an impressive day for Mon??o as she would have an involvement with all three Stars goals. But first there was a long spell of quiescence, the second goal not arriving until a good 80 minutes after the opener. Bette Elgeuse got that from Mon??o’s corner, ?rica Ver?ssimo adding an embellishing third five minutes later.
* - that’s going to challenge the lack of diacritics on OTF isn’t it?

It’s a shock to see Ullapool Northern Star back in Division 6:38. But it doesn’t feel like Fair Maidens of FISO belong there, either, so this opening match was one where the two teams could tell themselves was really from a higher level.
You know the phrase a game of two halves? Well, this was a game of one five-sixths, and a complete different other sixth. Because for 75 minutes very little happened apart from a nasty injury (17 days) to Polaris first choice goalkeeper Helen Hess on the half-hour.
The last 15 minutes more than made up for the mundanity that had preceded it as all-hell broke loose. The hosts opened the scoring from the spot on 78 minutes, then added a second on 84. And a third on 88, expect Olga Segerstr?m directed that one at her own net to bring Northern Star back into it. But not for long as two minutes later a Fair Maiden scored in the right goal to put them 3-1 up.
The breathlessness was not finished though as Mary-Leslie Mair scored for Ullapool on 94 minutes. If there had just been another two minutes to play then delicatemoth’s side would probably have equalised. But there wasn’t and they ran out of time.

The last few seasons have been very forgettable for Hazeldean Inchmistress. The Imperials were hoping Season 60 would be better, starting at Sakura FC.
Foxy265’s side could really have done without a poor start that saw them fall 2-0 behind before the midway point of the first half. With confidence low that sort of beginning really did for the Framleyshire outfit, who never got full going in the rest of the game. It got no worse, but it got no better either eventually finishing on the same 2-0 scoreline.
Very deflating. Hazeldean will need to pick themselves up sharpish if they are going to put a good campaign together this time.

Division 6:43 is a second one this term with two OTF sides, though the derbies are a few weeks away yet. Instead first up on the opening weekend for Invisible Ladies was a home game against The Anarchists, who I’m very disappointed to see where a pink shirt rather than a black one. That isn’t very anarchic at all, is it children?
Despite being clad all wrong it was the visitors who were first to strike, taking the lead after just 3 minutes play. The See-Throughs responded on 27 though, Phoebe Clark firing home. Those were the only two chances of the first half. The second only produced one… but it was also converted for the match winner. That went in favour of Pebblethefish’s side, Darlene Forsyth turning a 79th minute corner past the young Anarchists goalkeeper.
The other OTFer in this Division must be slightly disappointed to be here as ASU Politehnica were knocking on the door of promotion for most of the last campaign. The Scholars will be looking to avoid the play-offs this time around as too unpredictable. Their first examination of the new term came at the Mighty Minxes.
Granthamian’s side rattled some early marks off with a rote answer, Marianne Rosenkvist and Pakize Tilbe bringing a training ground routine to the exam hall for the later to score. After that it was about working through the script and using the full allotted time, which was why Politehnical left it until the 89th minute to add a second, Vivian Parker bursting past the Minxes defence to slot home.

Another side who were not expecting to be in the bottom tier this season are Zeugma Dostluk Spor. AntepliEjderha’s side’s return to this level was as straightforward as can be as they travelled to zombies Palma.
A goal inside 3 minutes from Ceyda ?z?lmez set Zeugma on course. Further strikes from Veronika Kulakova (16 minutes) and Makbule Mansiz (18) made sure of the points before the 20 minute mark was reached. From there it was just a question of how many. Answer – six. Mansiz and Kulakova both completed first half braces, with one strike after the interval when Sally Nandorf converted from the spot. Ref Donald Scott also sent off a Palma player, Della MacVitie, on 66 minutes, but that had no bearing at all on a result that was already written in stone.

Dublin City Womens FC got off to a flying start last season, but couldn’t sustain it. The first half of that was good though, something Mortal Joe’s charges were looking to repeat at a decent Pretty ladies team.
The two sides were pretty well matched up, with little to chose between them. That said Dublin were ahead for the majority of the game following Marianne Olander’s 21st minute opener. It was a lead The Dubs held up until the last 15 minutes of the match, which was when Pretty ladies levelled. The hosts probably merited something from the game. But they didn’t get it because Jutta Maaranen rose to head home a corner two minutes from time.
That meant that once again Dublin were off to a flyer. With a more settled squad now rather than a freshly assembled one as it was last season, let’s see if they can maintain such performances throughout the season.

[Sits]

Thanks Ianik, better write-up of I Cinghiali than I've managed myself. I CLAVDIVS indeed.

[Janik]

Snakes don’t crawl though, do they? They slither.[/facepalm]

[Sits]

Slithers, schmithers.

Meanwhile, and a propos of nothing whatsoever I just realised my Greatest XI at Lincolnshire Curly Coats (Golden League) was out of date. Two current squad members have dislodged previous incumbents: Vidar Hundala for Duncan Cromarty, and Hans-Henrik Ostergaard for Kevin Parton. And I’m ashamed to admit I hadn’t even noticed Hundala eclipsing Cromarty’s goalscoring record, which must have happened very recently.

There will of course, only ever be one Quincy Sefton.

[Sits]

[Sean of the Shed]

Snakes can't face-palm either.
Thanks for the write up Janik. I rarely say so but it is always a tremendous and selfless service you provide.
This season is indeed looking like a stern test for the Sea Spirits.

[Janik]

The official Ladies League Cup, Season 60, Round 1 kicked things off once again.. and here, finally, is the report of it!

Br?ten Karlskoga IK     0 - 5   Viking South Utsira
                                B.Kvalvik 4', 51'
Persbrant (sent off) 77'        L.Hovland 10'
                                A.Hovland 17', 79'

Viking South Utsira     7 - 0   Br?ten Karlskoga IK
L.Hovland 9', 21'
Y.Klovning 27'
B.Kvalvik (pens) 29', 74'
A.Hovland 51'
D.Kvalvik 82'

Viking win 12-0 on aggregate


Cassiopeia              2 - 1   Ullapool Northern Star
Aritonovic 7'                   Tokarz 93'
Krcmarevic 62'                  Tenson (sent off) 62'

Ullapool Northern Star  0 - 1   Cassiopeia
                                Krcmarevic 48'

Cassiopeia win 3-1 on aggregate


Dublin City Womens FC   0 - 0   Invictus Ladies FC

Invictus Ladies FC      3 - 0   Dublin City Womens FC
Baltazar 22'
Nelson (O.G.) 48'
Webb 59'

Invictus win 3-0 on aggregate


Hazeldean Inchmistress  3 - 1   Gloriosas da Catedral
Barnes 2'                       Seabra 52'
Pedersen 54', 73'

Gloriosas da Catedral   1 - 0   Hazeldean Inchmistress
Mangunga 33'

Hazeldean win 3-2 on aggregate


I Cinghiali             1 - 0   C.D.Tondela
Soviero 57'
Palmberg (sent off) 76'

C.D.Tondela             1 - 0   I Cinghiali
Ling 2'                 A.E.T.

1-1 on aggregate. Tondela win 4-2 on penalties


Invisible Ladies        0 - 2   Always FC
                                Engelholm (pen) 44'
                                Holmstr?m 92'

Always FC               1 - 1   Invisible Ladies
Holmstr?m 37'                   Forsyth (pen) 55'

Always win 3-1 on aggregate


ZFK Lestane             0 - 5   Mauchline Belles
                                McRenton 8', 61'
                                Diarra 16'
                                Alseg?rd (pen) 58'
                                Perdao 92'

Mauchline Belles        4 - 0   ZFK Lestane
Naysmith 7'
Luengo 12'
Perdao 76'
Diarra 92'

Mauchline win 9-0 on aggregate


Lilywhite Ladies        0 - 2   Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC
                                Ikmal 9'
                                Dalmiya 78'

Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC  0 - 0   Lilywhite Ladies

Kanjeng win 2-0 on aggregate


LNWR Locomotive         2 - 1   S LB Iturama Girls
Diana 64'                       Alberruega 59'
Teigland 78'

S LB Iturama Girls      2 - 2   LNWR Locomotive
Balleri 43'                     Arredondo 81'
Muric 64'                       Teigland 85'

Locomotive win 4-3 on aggregate


Menywod Maeshafn        2 - 0   The Black Eagle
Barker 11'
Eum 74'

The Black Eagle         1 - 0   Menywod Maeshafn
Vivas 79'

Maeshafn win 2-1 on aggregate


Milagros Futbol Club    0 - 5   Coxy Ladies Wulpen
                                Beyen 1', 57', 68'
                                de Waterloe 25'
                                Wuyts 38'

Coxy Ladies Wulpen      6 - 0   Milagros Futbol Club
Frunz? 11'
Roscher (O.G.) 18'
de Waterloe 21'
Kerckhoeven 33'
Onjens 35'

 win - on aggregate


Orleans                 2 - 1   Bombay Green Rockets
Iznata 47'                      Agnes Panzer 47'

Bombay Green Rockets    3 - 0   Orleans
Gr?newald (pen) 9'
Wemerson 30'
Lock 85'

Bombay win 4-2 on aggregate


Paris Vikings           0 - 3   Csiki Girls
                                Ryan 28'
                                Smet 39'
                                Birch 69'

Csiki Girls             3 - 0   Paris Vikings
Crampsey 35'
O?Callaghan 37', 70'

Csiki Girls win 6-0 on aggregate


ASU Politehnica         0 - 2   H?gdalen FC
                                Gallinger 74'
                                af Leijonhj?lm 77'

H?gdalen FC             0 - 1   ASU Politehnica
                                Munksg?rd 59'

H?gdalen win 2-1 on aggregate


Rising Stars            1 - 1   Dark Soul
Hua 20'                         de Castro 22'

Dark Soul               1 - 1   Rising Stars
McCann 84'              A.E.T.  Hua 25'
Pen?lope Madureira
2-2 on aggregate. Rising Stars win 3-0 on penalties


S?ders IF               1 - 5   Drakaina
?rtman 67'                      Konstantinidis 14'
                                K?llgren 24', 38'
                                Vulturescu 84'
                                Barry (pen) 93'

Drakaina                3 - 1   S?ders IF
Featherstone 59'                Kronstr?m 85'
K?llgren 76'
Hentovic 90'

Drakaina win 8-2 on aggregate


Team Humpuuki           3 - 2   Zeugma Dostluk Spor
Novo 10'                        Mansiz 65'
Cabrito 53'                     Kurt 69'
Baldursdottir 73'

Zeugma Dostluk Spor     4 - 3   Team Humpuuki
Manookian 1'                    Ozores 25', 47'
Kulakova 28, 31'                Naysmith 50'
Kurt 72'

6-6 on aggregate. Humpuuki win on away goals

Viking South Utsira had no reason to expect difficulties when facing managerless bottom tier opponents Br?ten Karlskoga IK. Their assumptions were proved right.
Velvet Android’s girls killed the tie off as a contest with three strikes in the opening 17 minutes of the first leg. Bergljot Kvalvik headed the first 4 minutes in, Lina Hovland fired home a direct free-kick for the second on 10 and Anneke Hovland nodded the third.
The Blood Eagles then eased things back for the rest of the first half, possibly thrown by young midfielder Elza Klovning being carried off. Fortunately she will be out for only 6 days, so should be full fit for the return. Reassured by seeing their teammate wasn’t as badly hurt as feared, Viking turned it back on again after the interval, Kvalvik and Anneke Hovland both getting their second of the day on 51 and 79 respectively. Just prior to the fifth Karlskoga had gone down to 10 after Veronika Persbrant saw her second yellow of the day.
The return was little more than a training match for The Blood Eagles. In the first half Lina Hovland practiced her free-kicks (two, on 9 and 21 minutes), Yasmine Klovning her heading (27) and Bergljot Kvalvik her penalties (29).
After the interval Anneke Hovland got her second of the tie, Bergljot Kvalvik netted again from 12 yards and Delia Kvalvik got in on the act with a header. Karlskoga once again finished with 10 players, and once again Persbrant was the player to depart with around 15 minutes to play. She left on a stretcher this time, though.
Next up for VSU is an all-OTF clash against, well, that would be telling, wouldn’t it? All will be revealed below. The second leg will be at Ragnar Rock, though.

Tie of the round as far as we are concerned was the all-OTF encounter between Cassiopeia and Ullapool Northern Star.
The two teams had passed like ships in the night in the closed season, Cassiopeia stepping up from Division 6 to 5 whilst Ullapool moved in the other direction. Despite that Polaris stood as the higher seeds of this celestial encounter, which meant Agora Aethiopia played host to the opening leg.
Stormstoppers’ side were determined to prove the committee were wrong, and were quickly ahead. The goal came from a 7th minute corner that got all the way across to Sandra Aritonovic on the back post. Despite a seemingly impossible angle Aritonovic took on the shot… and squeezed it home.
That was the only notable incident of the first half, but things got more lively after the break. The first key moment was the 57th minute when Julie Taggart sprung the Cassiopeia offside trap, Mary-Leslie Mair racing on to the through and lobbing over the on-rushing Vera Buric. However Northern Star’s celebrations were short-lived as they then spied the flag was up. It was very tight. And quite possibly wrong.
Ullapool were very much on the wrong side of referee Sten Koll at this point as five minutes later he showed Polaris’ Rose Tenson a straight red card for elbowing. Cassiopeia’s Helena Krcmarevic exacted double punishment by sending the resulting free-kick arrowing into the top corner of Kell Crawford’s net.
Prior to this the match had been pretty even. Now delicatemoth’s side were under pressure. If they conceded one more it would be very hard to overturn the deficit in the return leg. Cassiopeia were twice close to doing precisely that, Egzona Xhafaj’s powerful header being denied by an outstanding save from Crawford on 83 minutes and Jagoda Jovancevic heading just centimetres over the bar on 86.
Cassiopeia were still comfortable though, up until the last minute of stoppage time when Slawomira Tokarz tried a speculative effort from very long distance on a “the whistle is about to blow, I might as well” argument, caught it epically sweetly and saw it rocket into the top corner of Buric’s net.
There was barely time to take centre after this before the final whistle blew, leaving the tie very delicately set up for the return leg. That was still the case at half-time of the return after the first period had produced a solitary attempt on goal from either side, Krcmarevic sending a 34th minute direct free-kick high over the bar.
The second half of the second leg came with a flurry of chances. Seconds after the restart Alunita Iosifescu was setting racing on the Cassiopeia goal. She nutmegged the inrushing Buric, but saw her effort then shave the outside of a post. Immediately after this it was Cassioepeia’s turn to spring an offside trap, only for Gordana Juric’s shot to fractionally wide. The third volley of the barrage came in the 48th minute when Cassiopeia were awarded a free-kick in Krcmarevic’s shooting grange. Her accuracy was also there as the aggregate was pushed out to 3-1.
And that was how it remained despite a volley from Juric on 58 minutes that hit the angle of post-and-bar, a ‘well-placed’ shot from In?s Mamouni which has to be a misnomer as it was off-target, and one last hurrah from Ullapool before exiting when Suzy Bastock sent a powerful curling effort on goal in the 86th minute, that was also over.
Cassiopeia advance to a R2 Clash with Juventistele of Divisoni 3h. The Big W’s will be at home in the first leg.

[Janik]

Dublin City Womens FC took on opponents from one tier above themselves when they faced Division 5 outfit Invictus Ladies FC.
The opening leg at The Heart Stadium was tight. Very tight. No shots from either side in the first half tight, that sort of thing. The second period was a little more titled, and in Invictus’ direction, but Mortal Joe’s side held out for the 0-0 draw that gave them hope for the second leg.
A score draw or better was the aim for Dublin in the return. So going a goal down midway through the first half, whilst obviously not good, was not the end of the world; as long as The Dubs scored next, then everything was dandy. And they did, Albertina Nelson getting the last significant touch to a net-bound ball in the 48th minute. Unfortunately Nelson was rather closer to her own goal than the oppositions at the time…
A third for Invictus just prior to the hour was the final nail in Dublin’s coffin as they exited in Round 1 for the second consecutive year. They put up a decent fight, though.

Two tiers separated Hazeldean Inchmistress and Gloriosas da Catedral of Division 4 after the two were paired for a Round 1 tie.
The contest was only two minutes old though when Kelli Barnes put The Imperials ahead with a header. That strike set Foxy265’s side up to play an excellent counter-attacking game, letting Gloriosas have the ball in unthreatening areas, and then swarming to turn over when the visitors advanced and launching lightening fast counters. It worked to the tune of three chances to nil before the break, despite only 41% possession.
The risk for Inchmistress was the amount of ball their opponents had would eventually generate a chance and a potential equaliser. And, indeed, this happened on 52 minutes. However it would again take only 120 seconds for Hazeldean to claim the lead, Line Pedersen heading in a corner. Now Ken Higgs Avenue was buzzing, which became close to a full-on roar when Pedersen struck again on 73 minutes.
The Imperials being two ahead from the opening leg meant a potential shock was on the cards, as long as they could hold on. Which is precisely what the Framleyshire outfit set out to do, employing an ultra-defensive 5-4-1 formation for the return. That looked risky when Gloriosas went 1-0 up on 33 minutes, but that was also the hosts first chance of the game. And they would only create one more… which they didn’t take.
A perfect shock, with good early play to establish a lead and then frustrating a supposedly better team for a long while after that. Hazeldean’s reward for having done it once is to take over their vanquished foes seeding spot, which means a Round 2 encounter with a side from their own tier, Skogstorp GoIF of Division 6:17. Leg two will be the one in Framleyshire.

I Cinghiali (Juventus as was) were also looking to take down opponents from a higher tier, though in their case C.D.Tondela were only one step up in Division 5.
It was hard to tell how the higher status side was in the opening leg, as the evidence was just confusing. Tondela had far more of the ball, but seemed unable to do anything with it to penetrate the Chinghiali defence. SitsWithRemote’s girls, by contrast, were using 40% of the ball decently, making two first half chances to their visitors zip. The hosts also manufactured the third opening when Ramona Zapodeanu sent Trillare Soviero racing away in the 57th minute. Soviero kept her cool and finished cheekily.
The rest of the opening leg saw Cinghiali managing the game, a process that became more intensive after My Palmberg was dismissed for a second bookable offence after 76 minutes. But hold on they did to go into leg two with a single goal lead.
Which didn’t last long, Tondela striking in just the 2nd minute to bring the aggregate scores level. That wasn’t to herald a sea change though as once again Cinghiali’s deep lying and counter-attacking style proved effective in stopping their opponents playing.
The rest of the 90 minutes drifted past without addition to the score, taking us into extra time. This period was pretty unlucky for the Porcine ones as Susanna Millen had a goal disallowed and Zapodeanu picked up a 14-day injury. But no goals were shipped, so we were on to penalties to decide who advanced.
Cinghiali were taking first, and started well as Millen and Aleksandra Chornovil converted. However Tondela also stuck away two from two, which meant Cinghiali were behind as soon as Palmberg (back from suspension) missed. Tondela were converting theirs, which meant pressure for Soviero on penalty number four. Unfortunately, she buckled under it. Tondela, meanwhile, stayed perfect to win 4-2 after the fourth pair of kicks.

It was fellow Division 6 opposition for Invisible Ladies, who took on Always FC, which is not quite their name because, well you can probably guess why.
Leg 1 was at the San Seethrough. But it wasn’t a match where Invisible were on top as The See-Throughs rather struggled. However, Pebblethefish’s team might have got through it unscathed if it weren’t for set pieces. But unfortunately they gave away a key one towards the end of each half, a penalty in the first and, the killer, a free-kick in shooting range in second-half stoppage time.
That second goal gave The See-Throughs a mountain to climb in the second leg. Which only got higher when Always went 3-0 up on aggregate after 37 minutes. Invisible did pull one back, Darlene Forsyth converting from the penalty spot on 55 minutes, but that was not enough to turn things around. Not even close, really.
Another first round exit for Invisible then, who will have to show up in the league instead.

Mauchline Belles were up against a side from way below them in the pyramid when they took on Division 6 outfit ZFK Lestane.
The Belles were on the road in the first leg, and at a side who have regularly been eliminated in Round 1, though they do have an active(ish) manager at the moment, though how long she will stay engaged is questionable as the number of other Xpert Ladies sides in her past suggests certain peripatetic tendancies. She might not find much at Lestane to detain her as Mauchline put the hosts to the sword, running up a 5-0 opening leg score.
Lisa McRenton started the rout on 8 minutes with a breakaway, and later got the fourth in a similar manner (61 minutes), Odette Diarra blasted one in from range on 16, Blenda Alseg?rd converted from the spot on 58 and Fernanda Perdao wrapped things up for Jdsx’s side with a fifth on the breakaway in second half stoppage time.
The return was a case of going through the motions. That added up to another four through Zoe Naysmith (7), Veta Luengo (12) and second of the ties for Perdao (76) and Diarra (92).
Galactic Stars of Division 5:19 will likely be more challenging in Round 2. But Mauchline will still be very strong favourites.

Three Divisions separated Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC from their opponents, but Lilywhite Ladies didn’t look a complete push-over, even if they were not the absolute strongest foes for SeanoftheShed’s girls.
The Spirits of the Sea were clearly the better side throughout the opening leg, but equally clearly were having to work to break their hosts down. Fortunately for the Indonesians they were a goal up from early on after Rahma Ikmal struck on just 9 minutes. That made it easier to say “Keep going girls, it will come!” and have that be believable as opposed to forced and panicky.
The second did eventually arrive as predicted. A set-piece was the route, Ikmal picking out Diksha Dalmiya to finish. That gave The Sea Goddessess and cushion for the second leg, and being beings who value comfort Kanjeng made ample use of it as they sat hard on their opponents. Lilywhite had no chance of a comeback, even if The Sea Spirits didn’t add any more goals to their first leg haul.
Another bottom tier side are next on the menu for Kanjeng, in this case Man U FF, whose manager isn’t kidding when he says he is a Sado. And a sexist fuckwit as well. He forgot that wrinkle.

[Janik]

The Round 1 draw paired LNWR Locomotive with S LB Iturama Girls of Division 6. However, despite being the higher Division side, The Steamers were the lower seeds so at home in the opening leg.
One big aim for an opening home leg is not to conceded an away goal. Locomotive made sure they didn’t in the first 45 minutes but utterly closing the game down, with no chances for either side. But Viktor Boskovic’s plans suffered a blow soon after the restart when star defender Saidy Geovanni suffered a horror 26-day injury.
The Steamers were still re-organising when Iturama struck directly from a free-kick. That prompted a sudden change of tack – now it was goals LNWR were after. They got one nearly immediately, Gia Diana levelling on 64 minutes, and another on 78 via Maja Teigland’s strike. 2-1 was a risky lead to take into the second leg, though. Just one for the hosts and the tie would flip on its head as Locomotive would move from ahead on aggregate to behind on away goals.
That is precisely what happened in the 43rd minute. And things got worse for The Steamers with a second for Iturama on 64. However this goal didn’t change all that much from the Locomotive perspective, as before it they had to score once (to lead) and after it they still only needed one, albeit now to force extra-time. And that strike arrived in the 81st minute when Constanza Arredondo fired home from distance.
Now, suddenly, it was The Steamers on the front foot because of away goals. If they could get one more, it would be a huge goal, worth close to two. Was Teigland thinking of that when she rose to head an 85th minute corner? Or was she just thinking “get ma head on it!” Probably the later, but it achieved the former.
That goal won the tie, an unusually topsy-turvey one with the lead having changed hands four times across it. Something equally exciting would be great in Round 2 as The Steamers have landed a tough draw against Division 3e outfit Spicks Killiettes. The first leg will be at Mollington Street.

Menywod Maeshafn were up against opposition from a tier below themselves when they played The Black Eagle of Division 6.
Once again the OTF side was the lower seed despite being the higher rated league team, which meant Leg 1 took place in North Wales. IsThatcherDeadYet’s side se about showing the seeding committee they were wrong, taking the lead in the 11th minute when Katherine Barker headed home a corner. After that, though, The Black Eagle came into the game more. But they couldn’t find a way past S?nia V?bora in the Maeshafn net, with Player-of-the-Match Tina K?ck also prominent in front of her.
A second goal was what Maeshafn really needed though, and they got it on 74 minutes when Cho-Hee Eum let fly from long range and netted just her second goal for the club. That set Maeshafn up well for the second leg, where an away goal would kill the tie. The Welsh side pushed for it, but not with impunity as leaving themselves exposed at the back would have been crazy. Overall the balanced seemed about right as chances were created and not given up. Or rather not many were.
When Eagle did get their first sight of goal of the game on 79 minutes, they scored. After that, though, the clamps came back down from Maeshafn who saw things out as they stood to claim a 2-1 aggregate win.
Victory sent Locomotive through to a pair of Round 2 encounters with Janes Addiction, who are now in [looks it up]oh, Division 2c. Hmm, sounds challenging.

Some ties are trickier than others. Coxy Ladies Wulpen’s against a Division 6 zombie, Milagros Futbol Club, counted as one of the easier ones.
A goal after less than 20 seconds from Charlotte Beyen was an indication that Janik’s side were not going to make heavy weather of the tie. Victoria de Waterloe doubled the advantage on 25 minutes with her first for the club, Estelle Wuyts adding a third prior to the half-time break with a close range finish.
Beyen struck twice more after the break, firing in from range on 57 minutes and completing her hattrick with a breakaway after 68. That made the second leg a formality… if it hadn’t been from the first minute of the opening leg, in fact.
Wulpen nearly scored within seconds of the opening whistle again in leg 2, only for No?mie Kerckhoeven to have her opening minute strike disallowed. Instead the first came from recent signing Luminita Frunz?, which was also her opener in her new colours.
Anke Roscher was forced to turn into her own net for a second on 18 minutes, de Waterloe making it three on 21. Kerckhoeven replaced the goal she had been denied in the opening minute with a strike on 33, Christelle Onjens netting a fifth just two minutes later.
The only strike after the break was de Waterloe’s second of the night on 72 minutes, which was also her third of the tie, and in her career! Will she be able to add to that in Round 2? Coxy Ladies opponents will be Fc Zinken of Division 5:7, who are the sort of outfit that Wulpen may do well against.

It wasn’t just an all-Division 5 affair that saw in the new season for Bombay Green Rockets, but an all-Division 5:22 one as Cup opponents Orleans will also be league foes later in the season!
Leg One took place at the D’Arc Field, which does feel like an appropriate place for munitions to be let off. Which brings us to the name of the scorer of the opening goal, The Rockets Agnes Panzer. She bulleted a header home from a corner in the 47th minute to have HKS3’s side ahead. Shock and awe. The Orleans maids were not so easily dissuaded though and launch a determined counter-offensive. That produced an equaliser on 66 minutes, and a winner for the hosts on 88. Enough to win the day’s battle, but with an away goal in Bombay’s pockets the overall war was still very much in-the-balance.
It didn’t take long at The Common for The Green Rockets to make use of that situation, George Buske awarding them a 9th minute penalty that Mathilda Gr?newald converted. Scores level, but Bombay ahead on away goals. That is an uncomfortably narrow lead though, M?rcia Wemerson relaxing everyone by adding a second on the night with a direct free-kick on the half-hour.
Even now the victory wasn’t secure as just one Orleans goal would have forced extra time. The Rockets needed a third to seal it. That came in the 85th minute, scored, appropriately, by Isabel Lock.
Bombay’s reward for their win? Well, remember the all-OTF clash I mentioned in the Viking South Utsira report? That is what The Green Rockets have waiting for them in Round 2. Leg one is in the teeming India city, leg two on the sparsely populated North Sea rock.

The draw was quite kind to Csiki Girls as it pitted them against bottom tier zombies Paris Vikings, though the Normans (French Norseman, right?) do still possess some useful players if not manager.
But that wasn’t enough to stop Csiki Girls here as Adhoc’s side got some much needed positivity going. Tracey Ryan netted the opener on 28 minutes, followed by Floriane Smet heading a second on 39. Smet had a third disallowed on 58 minutes, which meant that Georgia Birch’s header on 69 ‘only’ made it 3-0. With three away goals. Quite enough to be going along with.
That was how the second leg started after the Vikings had a consolation ‘goal’ with the last kick of the first leg disallowed. Not that that made any difference to the overall course of the tie, which was clearly heading in Csiki Girls direction anyway. It didn’t need Ginger Crampsey and Monica O?Callaghan to make sure, so we can see their 35th and 37th minute respectively strikes as stat padding. OK, maybe that is unfair as both are young. In fact O?Callaghan’s strike was the first of the 17 year-old’s career.
She would add a second and third for her side in the 70th minute, though there was a downside to the day for the Csiki’s for a player towards the other end of her career, Trudy Woozley picking up a nasty 19-day knock just seconds after the break. This was Woozley’s third serious injury in recent seasons and means she will almost certainly miss both legs of Csiki Girls’ second round encounters with FC Spartak Ervalla of Division 5:12. As the higher seeds Csiki Girls will host the second of these games.

The balls coming out of the hat were anything but generous for ASU Politehnica as The Scholars were handed a tie with Division 3 outfit H?gdalen FC.
The opening leg in Timisoara was a tough one for Granthamian’s side as H?gdalen turned out to be as strong as some of The Students had secretly feared they might be. Young Politehnica goalkeeper Timmi Uara held firm against the barrage until around 15 minutes from time. However once she was eventually beaten for a first time, a second quickly followed.
2-0 down from the opening home leg against a side from here tiers higher is end of tie, right? Well, not so fast because as much as Politehnical had been under the cosh at home, they were the side on top in the return as the home manager took them too lightly and played too many kids.
A number of chances had gone by before Maja Munksg?rd scored on 59 minutes to bring ASU right back into the tie. If they could have just nicked another they would have been immensely strong favourites in the remaining time/extra-time, but sadly that one and a big scare for a complacent foe was all they would manage.

[Janik]

Two sides who had moved in opposition directions between Division 5 and 6 over the closed season clashed when Rising Stars took on Dark Soul.
The Stars were the home side in the opening leg, and based on current league status the underdogs. But it was Blambs side who got the scoring up and running in the tie, Hua Wa netting directly from a free-kick (as she does) on 20 minutes. The lead didn’t last very long though, Dark Soul levelling just two minutes later.
The Ascenders made more chances in the first half, but from rather less of the ball. After the break they were still finding it difficult to retain possession, but with the added complication it was now Dark Soul getting the sights of the target. Fortunately, though, without adding a second away goal to the first.
Even so, Rising Stars had to score in the second leg or they were out. It took Hua just 25 minutes to do precisely that, putting her boot through the ball from fully 30 yards. If she had remained on for the whole game… but instead Hua picked up an 8-day knock just soon after scoring.
Hua’s replacement Bette Elgeuse (a Star if ever there was one) nearly got the second which would have brought an away goal advantage as well as a two-goal aggregate lead, but her strike on 50 minutes was disallowed. That meant Rising were only one ahead when Dark Soul netted on 84 minutes. Extra-time.
Very little happened in the additional 30 minutes, meaning it was penalties to decide the tie. Rising Stars went first; Alba Quevedo. Dark Soul followed, and missed. The it was Sarah Sinclair’s turn; 2-0. And once again Dark Soul failed to respond by converting! Now things were looking very promising, particularly after Pen?lope Madureira made it three-out-of-three for The Ascenders. Dark Soul also went three-from-three… and that meant it was all over!
Having defeated a Division 5 side, Rising Stars will next attempt to take down one two steps higher again in the form of Q.P.R Ladies of Division 3d.

Nearly top took on pretty well rock bottom when Drakaina faced S?ders IF of Division 6.
The Dragons were on the wing for the first leg, and were ahead soon enough through a significant goal as young defender Dimitra Konstantinidis registered the first of her senior career. She may have got a paternal nod from Matilda K?llgren [er, that doesn’t really work does it? But a ‘maternal nod’ doesn’t convey the same sense of, well, paternalism at all. Gendered language enforces stereotypical behaviours, eh? Where was I? Oh yes…] … nod from Matilda K?llgren, who then gave the young’un a demonstration with two strikes of her own on 24 and 38 minutes.
S?ders IF pulled one back against the run of play midway through the second half, but that just poked the slumbering beast with Drakaina give one more belch of flame with Florica Vulturescu heading home on 84 and Susanna Barry stroking home from the spot deep into stoppage time.
The return was such a complete non-event that Drakaina failed to really rouse themselves before the break. A chiding from boss Etienne at the break to remember their professional responsibilities and put on a show for those watching their live streams instilled more urgency and another first ever goal for the club, though in this case hardly the first of veteran Madeleine Featherstone’s career (Featherstone was a late signing last season brought in to try and avert relegation (unsuccessfully)).
K?llgren was on target again for a second of the night on 76 minutes. The next strike may cause The Dragons coaches some concern as they shipped a goal once again to bring things back to 2-1 with five to play. Still time enough for Juan Hentovic to net her first of the tie. That was a goal that nearly broke the Crespometer.
Round 2 pits the Greeks against another bottom tier side, though Tesla Girls of Division 6:56 do look a stronger outfit than S?ders were.

Zeugma Dostluk Spor’s shock relegation meant they were taking on a higher Division opponent when they face sixth tier outfit Team Humpuuki. Zeugma’s recent history as a side who arguably should still be at least one step higher was reflected in them being the higher seeds for the tie, though.
AntepliEjderha’s side fell behind in the 10th minute though, and were still 1-0 down at the interval. At this stage we really didn’t know the fireworks that were to come in this tie. A second for Humpuuki was the blue touchpaper for ZDS, who exploded to score twice in four minutes through Makbule Mansiz (65) and Latife Kurt (69) to draw level on the night, but with two away goals to their names now. That meant another for Humpuuki very soon afterwards was able to be somewhat shrugged off – Zeugma just needed a one goal victory in the home leg. As long as it was the odd goal in one or three, that is…
It took the Anatolians less than 60 seconds to get that strike as Aghavni Manookian burst away from her marker to score. Humpuuki levelled on the night on 25 minutes though, and also matched one of Zeugma’s two away goals in the process. No matter said Veronika Kulakova, I’ll just net twice in three minutes. Which she did on 28 and 31 minutes to have ZDS 3-1 up on the night and 5-4 overall at the interval.
Two minutes into the second half that advantage had gone as Humpuuki made it 5-5 overall. And also now two away goals a piece. And then three minutes later complete disaster for the hosts as Humpuuki scored again. 6-5 on aggregate, but now ZDS had shipped more at home than they had scored away, so an aggregate draw wasn’t good enough. Two more goals were needed.
Zeugma got one of them on 72 minutes when Latife Kurt headed in a corner. But despite giving themselves enough time, and battering hard on the door, the fifth of the night didn’t come and someway, somehow, Zeugma had gone out on away goals of a tie that they had looked in control of at various stages.


Round 2 draw - first listed teams home in opening leg

Bombay Green Rockets           vs   Viking South Utsira
Cassiopeia                     vs   Juventistele (3h)
Galactic Stars (5:19)          vs   Mauchline Belles
LNWR Locomotive                vs   Spicks Killiettes (3e)
Man U FF (6:23)                vs   Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC
Menywod Maeshafn               vs   Janes Addiction (2c)
Rising Stars                   vs   Q.P.R Ladies (3d)
Skogstorp GoIF (6:17)          vs   Hazeldean Inchmistress
FC Spartak Ervalla (5:12)      vs   Csiki Girls
Tesla Girls (6:56)             vs   Drakaina
Fc Zinken (5:7)                vs   Coxy Ladies Wulpen

[Janik]

Snakes can't face-palm either.

Hiss!

[Various Artist]

Holy mackerel. (A dish doubtless popular on our North Sea rock.) You spoil us indeed Janik. Love the Bombay Green Rockets write-up, and I'm certainly delighted to have a derby to look forward to at long last – well, an OTF derby; it will be quite a distance and quite a contrast between Mumbai and Utsira for the two legs of the second round tie for sure.

It hadn't struck me that there was a derby in the first round too, and both an OTF one and a night sky one too. A shame we had to lose one of Cassopeia and Northern Star so soon though.

[Various Artist]

Incidentally, something I've been meaning to flag up on here for a while, which mention of Drakaina has just jogged my memory about since they were competing in the top flight last season. One of their rivals there, and eventual title-winners, were Roy Rovers – meaning two different teams had Utsiran players (Drakaina had young Zara Kvalvik) in their squads in the top division simultaneously, though obviously alas neither of them were VSU!

This is because Rovers are the same team who rather startlingly signed my top striker from VSU, Emilie Klovning, at the start of the previous campaign – at a stroke unexpectedly promoting her from the fifth tier to the first at the age of 34. And it meant that Emilie ended this most recent season as an Xpert Ladies champion, to the utmost best of my knowledge the first ever Utsiran product to win the league. She also picked up the individual silver medal for Top Scorer, again as far as I know the first individual medallist in the top flight to come from my club's academy. Having done so at the age of 35 after I think 16 seasons with us followed by a remarkable indian summer at the highest level, she has not unreasonably announced her impending retirement... but what a way to do it. I feel strangely yet genuinely proud.

[stormstopper]

Of all the stars in the night sky, the one that shines brightest is Janik for these stellar and illuminating write-ups. I learn so much every time (and same goes for HO and VA!)

[pebblethefish]

Holy mackerel. (A dish doubtless popular on our North Sea rock.)

If there is a player called Holy Mackerel, then the Cods would love to sign him.

Incidentally, I'm currently wearing a t-shirt with South Utsire on it. OK, it's actually got all of the Shipping Forecast on there, but still.