X11 season 45 - de rigueur Mortis

[Various Artist]

Two relegation fights and a play-off push (stumble more like) so far. Next we have another struggle against the drop with Viking South Utsira battling Propaganda to avoid sixth place in Division 4h. The Blood Eagles have been another on a really sticky run recently, and a match at second in the table San Quirico didn’t appear to offer a huge amount of hope for Velvet Android’s side.
Not until it got underway that is. Because there was very little between the teams. No chances at all in the first half in fact! Things opened up a bit after the break but this was the type of match where the first goal was always going to be crucial, and it went the way of the visitors when Astri Brandhaug headed in her first since promotion from the Viking junior section on 74 minutes.
Brandhaug is not one of the four surnames commonly associated with Utsiran Football, but she is one of the four families (a Kvalvik). It is just her father is a rarity, someone who moved to these weather beaten rocks and married a local girl.
With one to their names VSU were able to hit San Quirico again on the counter, Kristin Hovland heading home Yasmine Klovning’s cross on 82 minutes. That sealed a victory that saw Viking clamber back up to fifth in the table, one point clear of Propaganda with two to play. Not that you would have know Propaganda had fallen back into the drop zone from their website, of course!

Brilliant stuff Janik. I hadn't realised young Astri Brandhaug was the product of a rare union of a native Utsiran lady and an immigrant to the island, so thanks for filling me in. I feel more likely to keep her now, although given our surfeit of youngsters I'm going to have to ship out a few in the coming off-season if I've got any sense.
Her goal (on only her third senior appearance) was an unexpected bonus, as indeed was that 3pts against high-flying San Quirico that gave us a shot at staying up.

Today's game meanwhile was another rather remarkable win – I sent out yet another developmental side and even fielded my youth goalie, which saw us concede an equaliser just 2 minutes after taking the lead. Then, though, in the closing stages we got a penalty, and up to take it stepped... 17/6 defender Elza Klovning, whom I think I put on spot-kick duties for a laugh ahead of her debut in a preseason friendly, but evidently forgot to switch back out from this role throughout the entire season. (Clearly we haven't won a penalty in all that time, until now.) By an incredible stroke of luck, though, our opponents PVFC had also fielded a 19-year-old keeper – and in the showdown from 12 yards of the two teenagers it was our wunderkind Elza who came out on top with her first ever goal.
And that winner may well have secured our Division 4 status, as we're in the thick of a massive melee to avoid the last relegation place but our final game is against whipping girls Michael Michael Micky doo where we ought to be able to find the point(s) we need to make sure.

Instead it was Great Horned Owls who got the goals, one midway through the first half, the other made in Norway as Utsira alumni Ingeborg Kvalvik and Ida Klovning combined.

Sorry meanwhile to see Rising Stars' travails, but I have to say I was quite proud to see this goal. Both Utsiran alumni at GHO are senior players now and Ingeborg definitely looks to be approaching the end of her time as a regular performer, you'd think, so this might be the last time we get to witness the two of them combine like that.

[Various Artist]

Meanwhile, I hate to blow my own trumpet by flagging this up, but if anyone looks at the very bottom of their Lobby screen right now they'll find my name is there as – surreally – the current world Manager of the Week for the official leagues. I think it'll disappear again tomorrow as it's Wednesdays when the MOTW is worked out. I'd never have seen it myself were it not for people in the Scribble in a couple of my leagues pointing it out.

Given that I got it by dint of winning two fairly unremarkable games, albeit one was a pretty useful (at the time) away Ultimate League Cup victory at a fellow D1 side, I was exceedingly surprised to discover this, but it's lovely to have the accolade for posterity I guess.

[Vicarious Thrillseeker]

Awesome work VA.

[jdsx]

Yeah many congrats VA. Richly deserved. And good luck to Etienne in the Champions League tomorrow......

[Various Artist]

Only just in time, as is the way, but here is a quick
OTF League roundup for 21st September: Season 60 round 1

Division 3
There’s an unfamiliar look about the top of D3 to kick off the OTF League’s Diamond Anniversary season, with two new names atop the basement division after round 1. Impressively, it is the hapless former Richmond P&P, now Tree Hill High under new manager Rooney2020, who roar straight to the summit with a 3-0 thrashing of Brian Munchingflapjack on the Munchies’ own turf. A handful of canny close-season acquisitions included new line-leading 3m man Lars-Petter Lerche, who netted the second late on before a quick third sealed the deal to leave High sitting highest at the end of the opening day.

The other side under new management are The Blomstrands, now under the charge of Kelboy and known as Littlewoods Legends. Despite bringing in no fewer than 13 new players aged 20 or under in the offseason, they were able to field a balanced side at Pinewood Passers and 30-year-old midfielder Allan Holmstrup scored a brace to put them 2nd.

Match of the day came at Wharfedale Generals, whose own young side gave as good as they got and briefly led in both halves but eventually went down by the odd goal in seven to visitors OWC Albion, for whom Ravioli Downpipe’s 70th-min header proved to be the winner to put them 3rd.

Behind them on goals scored are the division’s other maturing youngsters, Nieuwegein Kneebiters, who recorded a 1-0 opening-day win at home to Veni Vici Vigata through Ronnie Hoogendorp’s header after half an hour.

With the bottom tier reduced to 9 clubs this term, Wednesday de la Zouch are the team who sat the first day out and sit 5th. They start their campaign later today at home to the Flapjacks.

[Various Artist]

Division 2
Relegated trio die Ambosse, Athletico Deva and Eriskay Expression are looking to bounce back quickly to D1, and all started the right way with wins. Anvils hitman Davide Planceret put the disappointments of last season behind him by matching his total of 3 goals for that campaign at the first time of asking, helping his side crush Eintracht Midwest 4-1 to go top of the inaugural table.

Deva (2nd) kicked off with a comfortable 2-0 away win at The Gang Play Football. Promoted D3 champs Great Northern Railway found their groove in the second half to see off Heffron Hendecagon 2-0 at the Clump, despite (as sod’s law would have it) losing new 2.4m defensive signing Ionut Iorgovan to injury just half an hour into his debut.

Eriskay meanwhile kicked off their 42nd OTF campaign but first ever outside the top two tiers with a thrilling 3-2 win at New Dresden. Veteran Expression captain Terrance Henderson went down to a career-worst injury late in the first half and Dresden took the lead straight after the break, but the Islanders hit back almost immediate and two late goals were enough to take them to victory – despite the hosts pulling one back right at the end.

In midtable are Cods of War and FC Gloryhammer, who played out our first draw of the season after exchanging late goals at Gloryhammer’s Dundee Park for a 1-1.

[Various Artist]

Division 1
Again, all three relegated sides started off Season 60 with wins this Monday. In matching game pitting teams who came down from the top flight against ones coming up from D2, Berkshire Swine and Turd Division produced 3-1 home wins against promoted Saltney Drawers and Steaua Bridge respectively, whilst the third promoted club Hampshire Deers also suffered a two-goal defeat, 2-0 at home to Locomotiv Noj.

Third relegated side Csiki Monkeys began their latest yoyo attempt with a narrower 1-0 win at Wensleydale Blues, aided by a 10th-minute injury to senior Blues defender Guy Tuttle. The 37-year-old, who is not only their longest-serving player but also the only one they have paid hard cash for – a mighty 54,900 econs, on Valentine’s Day 2016, during the three-day interregnum of Tiger1971 when MeOldFlower took a brief leave of absence from the club. Tuttle had suffered only one ‘major’ injury (6 days) in his 20 seasons since, but has finally topped that with a still-not-too-bad 8-dayer this time.

Again there was just one draw here on opening day, with Rejects Redux holding out for a classic Rejects-style 0-0 at Whoft Fluffopolis – though they were another side to lose a debuting player with an injury. 24-year-old goalkeeper Ubaldo Quental, signed for 3.8m econs just the day before, lasted 76 minutes but then went down with a red cross that will see presumably see retiring 39-year-old Mack Mean called straight back into action today.

[Various Artist]

OTF
It’s 13-time champions Dandy Town who were fastest out of the blocks in the top division, dominating hosts Great Ouse Town with 12 chances to 1 at the Blue Fen and emerging 3-0 victors.

Newly-crowned first-time champs St Pancras Starmers kickstarted their title defence though with an impressive 3-1 home win over their predecessors as trophy-holders – and runners-up to them last season – Four Candles. Goals from the reliable trio of Bankai Tensa Zangetsu, Sarmad Kurdi and Duke Bateman helped the Starmer to a solid win, though BTZ blotted his copybook by crocking Candles sub Rauli Tuulasvaara mere minutes after the young midfielder had come on for the second half.

Result of the day though came at the Host of Trophies Past, where Banik Roystonov announced their return to the elite with an unexpected 1-0 win at Croesoswallt Dragons to go 3rd. The Hertfordshire outfit had won just 5 of 37 previous meetings with the Dragons over seven years and had lost the last five, but more than held their own and came away with all three points thanks to Jean-Pierre Makanaky’s 65th-minute spot-kick.

Unlike elsewhere, there was a whole 2 draws on opening day here. Vita Mortis had the better of things at Kernow Kensa, yet three weeks after finishing last season with a win at the same venue they were unable to repeat the trick – Lance Porter gave the Reaper Men a 78th-min lead but it was cancelled out just five minutes later by Dudley Gower. Meanwhile promoted pair Zeugmaspor and Hideous Towns battled to a 0-0 stalemate at the Waveney Bowl, and that was that for Day 1. Since Day 2’s matches were taking place while I was typing this post, you are now free to safely disregard it.

[Sits]

Great effort VA, thanks.

[Janik]

Xpert XI official Ladies League Season 59, Matchday 13 report.

Xpert Ladies

Year Zero               2 - 0   Drakaina
Gabrielsson 50'
Bj?rn 90'                       Sietaridis (sent off) 86'


Division 2b

ShamLam Doobily Dodgers 2 - 0   Mauchline Belles
Nestor 55'
Feeney 57'


Division 3e

Coxy Ladies Wulpen      0 - 2   Misconduct United
                                Charpin (pen) 40'
                                Jones 81'


Division 4h

Viking South Utsira     2 - 1   PVFC Ladies
N.Austrheim 16'                 Selnes 18'
E.Klovning (pen) 82'


Division 4j

Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC  3 - 1   San Francisco Wet Cats
Sumanti 38'                     Black 88'
Luangpruksachat 54'
Ikmal 83'


Division 4k

Tarrentas               2 - 2   Bombay Green Rockets
Fujiguchi 19', 54'              Ihara (O.G.) 39'
                                Baumann 90'


Division 4p

Gaia Superior           2 - 1   Csiki Girls
Nyberg 7'                       Nightingale 91'
Pacchiarott? 62'


Division 5:16

Rising Stars            1 - 3   AC Huulipuna
Raposo 49'                      Navarro 54', 57', 85'


Division 5:17

SLB Femenino            0 - 1   LNWR Locomotive
                                Nixon 33'


Division 5:19

Wheelies Wobblers       2 - 0   Ullapool Northern Star
Vidakovic 16'
Laidlow 18'


Division 5:26

Zeugma Dostluk Spor     1 - 2   S and P
Kurt 89'                        Manookian (O.G.) 36'
                                Henriques 69'


Division 5:28

Menywod Maeshafn        2 - 0   Iron empress
K?ck 23'
Kilford 73'


Division 6:12

Juventus                4 - 1   Dropkickers
Millen 3', 17' 61'
Cabrero 46'


Division 6:41

Parg Fur                0 - 6   Hazeldean Inchmistress
                                Pedersen 1', 5', 26'
                                Bringevik 17'
                                Ernstr?m 19'
                                Christersson 45'


Division 6:42

Rossi FC Ladies         0 - 5   Invisible Ladies
                                Forsyth 12'
                                Shuttlewood 19', 53', 58'
                                Prestonfield 47'


Division 6:53


Just wait               1 - 3   Cassiopeia
Gawelin 91'                     Aritonovic 27'
                                Juric 38'
                                Bisaku 52'


Division 6:56

PunkGirls               4 - 0   Dublin City Womens FC
Ulfb?ge 14', 75', 92'
Wareing 94'


Division 6:62

FC Dinamo Femina        0 - 0   ASU Politehnica

Etienne’s Drakaina faced a crunch match in their attempts to preserve their top flight status when they visited a Year Zero outfit who sat one point and place better off than The Dragons at the start of play.
The match was as even as would be expected in such circumstances. Which made the first goal vital. And therefore meant the period between the 48th and 50th minutes was crucial. This was extremely frustratingly news for Drakaina though as Gael Heggarty’s effort, which came in the first of those two minutes, was disallowed. And Year Zero’s in the 50th… wasn’t.
From this point on the Greek side were in trouble, which became terminal when Laria Sietaridis picked up her second yellow card of the day on 86 minutes. Year Zero added a second in the final minute of normal time to put a seal on their win.
Defeat left Drakaina in desperate trouble in the Xpert Ladies. Not only are they three points from safety ahead of their final game, but also -9 adrift on goal difference. Only a very heavy win, combined with a very heavy defeat for the side in sixth would be enough. And even then the team currently seventh would also have to lose, and do so to the side currently bottom. A return to the second tier looks inevitable, sadly.

Rather than their usual great escape, Mauchline Belles hopes for Division 2b survival this time rely on their opening half of the season form. That is because Jdsx’s side arrived at their game at title-chasing ShamLam Doobily Dodgers on a run of one point from their previous three games.
Despite that The Belles still sat fifth in the table and knew that a win could potential guarantee another survival. However the Dodgers were level on points with the leaders and pretty up for picking up points themselves! And, well, it went to form. ShamLam had the better of things from the opening whistle. Mauchline held on for nearly an hour, but when one went in it was swiftly followed by a second and with that the game was decided.
Disaster, right? Well no. Because already relegated Deportivo Cruz Azul, who beat The Belles in week 12, repeated the trick by seeing off November Revolution in this round of games. And the Revolution are the side Mauchline need to keep their noses in front of. Which, as things stand, they still do by a one point and +6 GD margin. As long as Mauchline avoid a thrashing against fourth-placed Can Helsings GLS, who have nothing to play for anymore, then November Revolution will need to win their final game to overtake. Revolutions’ opponents? The Doobily Dodgers! Who are still second on GD. It could be survival by the alternative razor-fine margin this time around…

Despite being on a run of eight games without a win, Coxy Ladies Wulpen were still somehow second in the Division 3e table with two games to go. However that position was going to be given a thorough stress test in the penultimate round of fixtures as The Waders hosted champions Misconduct United whilst nearest rivals Spandex FC, who were only two points in arrears had a near walkover at bottom-placed Green Street Hooligans (no wins and two draws all season).
It didn’t help matters for Janik’s side that Misconduct had Points To Prove after Wulpen had inflicted their only defeat of the season in the first meeting of the sides. Which you may remember. It finished 5-4! Or maybe the Misconduct boss didn’t really care about that, and his side was just rather better than The Waders on this particular day. Either way it never looked like Coxy Ladies were going to win. Ref Frank Redkard tried to help by disallowing an opening Misconduct strike on 36 minutes, but what Redkard gives he also takes away, which in this case meant a penalty four minutes later that put Wulpen behind.
A second on 81 minutes sealed matters, and a check on the Spandex score confirmed the inevitable; Wulpen were down to third. However all hope is not lost. Spandex’s final game is against Girls Aloud, who now have their own play-off hopes. Win, and they climb above their opponents. If they do that, or even hold Spandex to a draw, then Coxy Ladies can retake second by beating… Green Street Hooligans. Who, remember, haven’t won all season. But have drawn a couple. Though their manager has now given up the ghost and resigned. Surely The Waders can finally get out of their rut and win that one… can’t they?!? If they are going to, it will be achieved without midfielder Laetitia Roosens, after she picked up a 13-day injury in this match.

With Viking South Utsira’s relegation rivals Propaganda facing Division 4h’s bottom side and very likely to win (though going as far as announcing victory before kick-off was a bit much), The Blood Eagles knew victory against another team hovering around the drop line, PVFC Ladies was moreorless essential.
In pursuit of that Velvet Android’ team got off to a superb start, Nina Austrheim firing them in front after just 16 minutes… only for The Blood Eagles to concede an equaliser just two minutes later! After that start the game settled down, with Viking marginally the better side. However it took a refereeing decision to produce the winner, Elza Klovning spotting a defensive arm away from the body and cheekily dinking the ball into it; “penalty” said Charlie Fender rather reluctantly. Klovning took it herself and sent the ‘keeper the wrong way.
That secured the three points, which kept VSU out of the drop zone by a point. The Blood Eagles leapfrog their opponents to climb to fourth in the table, but only two points from trouble. However Viking’s final games is against bottom-of-the-pile Michael Michael Mickey doo, who have won’t all season and have scored just four goals. They will be massive favourites to pick up the win that will secure survival, and even at this late stage might, just might, leapfrog them into second if the side currently holding that (Liverpool FCL) are shocked in their last game. VSU are three points and -3 GD adrift currently.

Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC were crowned as Division 4j champions last week, which made their match against San Francisco Wet Cats a victory parade for the Merapi-Kraton-South Sea faithful.
Obviously victory parades are best enjoyed by winning the game associated which is precisely what SeanoftheShed’s side set about doing – no resting on laurels here! Four first half chances for the hosts were slightly undersold by Utami Sumanti’s sole strike in the 38th minute, but Thao-Ap Luangpruksachat (54) and Rahma Ikmal (83) added to that to make the score more reflective of the game from Kanjeng’s perspective. San Francisco also deserved at least one goal as they made some second-half openings. And they got it on 88 minutes, which was much too late to change the overall outcome.
So both a good party, and a useful outing in terms for DV for some of the fringe players in the Sea Spirits squad as they build towards next season and Division 3.

[Janik]

More of a wake for Bombay Green Rockets, who are leaving Division 4 in the opposite direction. The penultimate game for HKS3’s side at this level took them to Tarrentas, who needed the points as they were just above the drop zone themselves.
The hosts were the first to strike on 19 minutes. And the second on 39. However, Mizuki Ihara’s contribution at the latter time was to put through her own net to make the scores level. Tarrentas went ahead again around 10 minutes into the second-half but they didn’t kill the game off despite plenty of chances. That meant Bombay, who were getting fewer openings but still a decent supply, were still in touching distance when Barbara Baumann lined up from 30 yards in the last minute of normal time, and arrowed the ball into the bottom corner.
Too little too late to give The Green Rockets lift off in Division 4k this season (they stay bottom despite the point), but a decent start to preparations ahead of launching into the next campaign.

Csiki Girls are also gearing up for their return to the sixth tier after a painful experience in Division 4p this season. But first they need to see out their fixtures this campaign, with a trip to promotion-seeking Gaia Superior the penultimate.
The hosts were swiftly ahead, taking just 7 minutes to open the scoring. However Csiki Girls have been resilient at the back through most of the campaign, conceding little more than once a game. And they didn’t fold here, not even after going two down on 62 minutes and then when losing star defender Taylor Rain to a 14-day injury on 75. Instead Ad hoc’s side made for a grandstand finish by halving the gap in the 91st minute through Priscilla Nightingale’s strike.
Nightingale is a very promising youngster (17/5) who came through the A kertem youth system mid-season, and this was her first senior goal. It wasn’t enough to get something out of the game, but we are now looking long term for Csiki Girls as their finishing position of eighth has been confirmed for this season.

Must win. And then hope. That was the situation for Rising Stars as they took on the side they needed to catch, AC Huulipuna at the Ascension Arena.
The Stars sat five points behind their fifth-placed visitors at kick-off, which demonstrates the seriousness of Blamb’s side’s predicament. And the first half of this game was very far from promising as Huulipuna dominated possession (60%) and created all the chances (five of them). But, despite that, Rising reached half-time all square, something they made the most of when Alice Raposo headed home the hosts first sight of goal on 49 minutes.
The start of an against-the-odds win and escape? Er, no, not as it turned out. Huulipuna levelled five minutes later, went ahead five minutes after that and from that point on there was only one winner, even if the game was only fully sealed on 85 minutes.
And that was that for the Ascenders as their relegation from Division 5:16 was confirmed, though whether they will end in their current eighth spot or seventh is still to be confirmed. They will try and rise again in Division 6 in the next cycle.

A promising campaign overall held only slim hopes for LNWR Locomotive when they travelled to SLB Femenino for their second-last game of the Division 5:17 campaign.
Slim because Viktor Boskovic’s side trailed second-placed Warriors FC by four points. The Steamers only recourse was to win their games and cross their fingers and hope Warriors slipped up. At least that made the situation straightforward for the Locomotive fans – they could focus simply on their own side. And they were celebrating on 33 minutes when Charlotte Nixon slotted home directly from a free-kick.
That was a big strike as SLB are far from prolific, with just six goals all season to their names. This encouraged LNWR to sit back and say “What have you got?” Not a lot as it turns out as SLB went scoreless for the 90-plus-stoppages.
As for events elsewhere, well it gradually dawned on The Steamers fans that they had heard no goals updates from Warriors. It turned out that was because they hadn’t been any! This was enough to send the race for the 5:17 play-off spot to the final day. The Steamers are two points and -5 GD adrift. They must win against bottom of the table Malvern Maidens, and ideally would do so 6-0. Or 7-2. The former would put them ahead on goal difference if Warriors also drew their final game, the later on goals scored if Warriors drew 0-0 or 1-1. Pretty unlikely, but where a flicker of hope remains…

A badly time combination of a drop in for form Ullapool Northern Star and a rise in it for relegation rivals Valent?a CFF had pushed Delicatemoth’s side down to sixth in the Division 5:19 table ahead of their match at promotion hunting Wheelies Wobblers.
Polaris sat a point adrift of both Valent?a and fourth-placed side Annie Power at the start of play, which made their position still look tractable… as long as results didn’t go very badly. The first stage of ‘very badly’ was soon in play as Wheelies scored twice in quick succession in the opening 20 minutes. That left Ullapool hoping one of Valent?a or Annie Power would fail to win.
At the break Valent?a were 2-0 up and cruising, but Annie Power were 1-0 down. But it didn’t stay like that for long as they turned their game around with a dominant second-half performance, eventually winning 3-1 (Valent?a won 5-0!).
That put pressure on Northern Star to do the same and scramble at least a point from their game… but no dice. Indeed they didn’t even manage a shot in the piece. And that means a season that started so promisingly for Ullapool has ended in a shock relegation back to Division 7 as they are now effectively assured of finishing sixth this campaign.

UNS going down is almost as much of a shock as Zeugma Dostluk Spor dropping would be, but that was a potential prospect for S and P, which is censored more for firewall reasons than being in itself inherently offensive. Though the name is graphic if not degrading or dehumanising, which is really unnecessary as well. So let’s call them Standard and Poor instead.
Anyway, yes, about Antepli Ejderha’s side: well they held a three point and +9 GD advantage over the drop zone, but the two teams chasing them were playing each other and at least one had to pick up points. So getting something from this game was important to the Anatolians’ position. They did pretty well everything right. But the scoring. And to make matters worse they didn’t just fail to do that, but instead got it 180 degrees wrong as Aghavni Manookian put through her own net on 36 minutes.
Things got worse as Standard and Poor doubled their advantage on 69 minutes. That was ridiculously against the run of play, ZDS having 57% possession in both halves and outshooting their visitors 7-4, but their only reward was a late goal back from Latife Kurt.
FC Lady Hammers (sixth) won the clash of the two teams chasing, which was the worst possible result for Zeugma. It means they go into the final day of the Division 5:26 season fifth, but only by +6 GD. And they face champions-elect Amazonas FC. Which sounds like a disaster, except Lady Hammers face likely runners-up CITY Ladies, who need to win to retain any chance of catching Amazonas. Seeing as equal results means Zeugma stay up, they do retain a chance of surviving by the skin of their teeth. That is assuming they don’t shock the leaders and do it for themselves, and who knows, maybe they will?

It feels like they are a lot of relegation, certain or possible, to discuss this season. And another of those applied to Menywod Maeshafn in theory as they were fifth, only two points clear of the Division 5:28 drop zone with two to play. However those final games were against the cut way adrift bottom two sides, starting with the week 13 meeting with Iron empress.
Those final games meant the optimists amongst the Maeshafn fans could look up rather than down. And they were not clutching at straws with this as the play-off place was only three points distant and automatic just four away. Just win the games against the strugglers and then…
An opening goal for IsThatcherDeadYet’s girls on 23 minutes was therefore very welcome, Tina K?ck providing it with a shot from distance. Maeshafn defender Paula Douglas was injured by a bad challenge soon after (she will be out for 6 days), but actually that strengthened the side on the pitch at the expense of DV. So maybe not all bad.
A second was needed to assuage the Maeshafn faithful’s nerves. It was coming… and coming… until Laura Kilford provided it in the 73rd minute. And that was game done, and the three points in the bag. Maeshafn actually stay fifth and just two points ahead of danger, but if they can repeat the trick in their final game at also long-since relegated Homers Damer then safety will be assured. Maybe assured to the point of a play-off? Well, possibly as following this set of games AE’s charges are now only a point adrift of second. It will need three teams above them to all drop points at once, including one playing Iron empress, but stranger things have happened… The key for the Welsh side remains to win their own game to ensure survival though.

[Janik]

Minor mid-table honour was all that was at stake when Juventus hosted Dropkickers, who sound like they are confused and playing the wrong sport!
The Zebras actually sat lower in the table by a place and a couple of points at kick-off, not that an observer at the game would have been able to tell as SitsWithRemote’s side won at a canter. The main architect of the win was skipper Susanna Millen, who opened the scoring on 3 minutes and went on to score a hattrick (17’ and 61’ for her other strikes). Midfield veteran Lilias Cabrero, who was signed this season to take on a mentor role, got Juve’s other in the opening seconds of the second-half. It was her first goal for the club, but it was also a thoroughly mixed day for Cabrero as she later picked up a horrid, season-ending 24 day injury.
Dropkickers pulled one back in the remaining time, shortly before Cabrero’s departure. Her knock put a pall on the rest of the game, which passed without major incident. The win saw the teams swap places, Juve also climbing past another side to now sit fourth in the Division 6:12 standings.

A dead rubber was the fare for Hazeldean Inchmistress. And an easy win was in the offing for Foxy265’s side as hosts Parg Fur could fairly be described as utterly useless.
The home team arrived at the game with a 0-0-12 3-69 record, which those with a calculator will know averages as a 0-6 defeat (to one significant figure). This match was to be exactly in line with that, Line Pedersen opening the scoring within seconds and going on to score a hattrick in the opening half hour (1’, 5’, 26’), Jennie Bringevik and Elinor Ernstr?m getting goals in between Pedersen’s second and third (17’ and 19’ respectively) and G?ta Christersson completing the haul on the stroke of halftime.
The second-half was a non-event, though a painful one for Pedersen who picked up a 12-day injury a few minutes from time. As for The Imperials position in the Division 6:41 table, that remains fifth, though only by -1 GD. They can climb to fourth with a result just one goal better than Las Vegas 86 FC in the final round of games. But that will be more about the two sides respective opponents, who are also tied on points and very close on goal difference, except Villa Lionessess (who Inchmistress play) and Ipswich Town FC Women (who Las Vegas face) are contesting first and second place. In that race, Villa lead by +2 GD. It promises to be a testing final run out for The Imperials.

A straightforward penultimate game was also on the cards for Invisible Ladies whose hosts Rossi FC Ladies are terrible despite being actively managed; Rossi’s only points this season and all but one of their goals for have come against the Divisional zombie!
The See-Throughs duly rattled in five in a processional affair. Darlene Forsyth got their opener on 12 minutes, but the star of the show for PebbletheFish’s side was forward Aileen Shuttlewood, who netted a hattrick (19’, 53’, 58’) and was only denied a four goal haul by referee Dick Tator. In amongst Shuttlewood’s strikes there was also one directly from a 47th minute free-kick by Jacqueline Prestonfield.
The win lifted The See-Throughs up to third in the Division 6:42 standings, albeit third a long way back of second. They will probably need to win their final game to finish in that spot at the conclusion of the campaign.

One point from two games was a bit of a stutter as far as Cassiopeia were concerned. The Vainglories remained within touching distance of the Division 6:53 title even so; a win at mid-table Just wait would seal it.
Anything less than a win and the race may (would!) have gone to the final day with Cassiopeia rather out of form, but that never looked likely as Stormstopper’s side dominated this match. A steady stream of first-half chances produced an opener for Sandra Aritonovic on 27 minutes and then a second for Gordana Juric on 38.
Skipper Anita Bisaku added a third on 52 to effectively seal the title, with one back for hosts Just wait in stoppage time being barely even an irritation. As noted any less than a win would have seen the race head to the final day, but as it stands Cassiopeia are there, with a four point lead over the two sides who will contest the 6:53 play-off place on the final day.

Two points in nine games suggested that Dublin City Womens FC’s chances of preventing PunkGirls getting the win they needed to secure the Division 6:56 title were pretty slender.
They became even skinner in the 14th minute as the hosts went ahead from a direct free-kick. Mortal Joe’s side clung on as hard as they could, keeping the score at 1-0 until the break. Soon after it Dublin lost defender Albertina Nelson to a 9-day injury, though she wouldn’t have stopped PunkGirls second, which was another direct free-kick.
The hosts lost their goalkeeper to injury on 79 minutes, with a raw teenager replacing her. But rather than Dublin scoring after this it was PunkGirls who added two more. Both in stoppage time, one yet another direct free-kick.
Dublin will have one final, and rather more realistic, chance to break their drought on the final day of the campaign when they take on bottom side County Girls. A win would ensure they finish fourth in 6:56, despite everything. It would also add some positivity ahead of the closed-season break.

Possibly our biggest game of the day is our last one as ASU Politehnica headed to FC Dinamo Femina.
Why? Because circumstances meant it was a virtual title and play-off decider. At the start of play the top three in Division 6:62 read as:

ASU Politehnica  +34 31
-----------------------
FC Play          +27 31
- - - - - - - - - - - -
FC Dinamo Femina +44 28

The key point here is that every other match all three sides had to play could be marked down as an almost certain win as all are against zombie sides. FC Play were highly likely to finish the season on 37 points. That meant Politehnica could only stay ahead by beating Dinamo. Less than that and the title would likely be gone, though a draw would keep them three clear of their direct opponents. Defeat, though, and it was highly probable that Granthamian’s side who not just drop from first to third ahead of the final round of games, but also stay third after the completion of those!
Everything on the line then. Did it show? You bet it showed. The Scholars looked nervous and never got into their stride. But they did fly around effectively defensively. That is both the backline and ‘keeper Timmi Uara, who was busy enough though not totally overworked. Even so she did well enough to see off all five Dinamo efforts to preserve her clean sheet.
Doing so meant a play-off place beckons for Politehnica as they showed barely anything up front in this game, which ended 0-0. That was enough, just, to keep The Scholars in the hunt to rise to Division 5 for next season.

[Sits]

Thanks Janik, superlative work. Lilias Cabrero is an example of a player whose Bag of Dyer proved accurate.

In other news, I think I’ll probably quit the Xpert Zone at the end of the season. It’s nothing against Carlos who’s a decent Admin, and Noirs de Bigorre have a special place in my heart. But it’s a “too many teams” thing again. I’m pondering rebranding Les Sangliers as Noires de Bigorre, if that would be accurate French?

[Various Artist]

Aww Janik, I'd have thought the fact that our critical winning penalty was scored (and, apparently, won) by a 17-year-old rookie defender was worthy of note at least!

That aside, top stuff. Good work to save the really tense stuff (with table diagrams) to the very end too with Granthamian's game!

[Various Artist]

Thanks Janik, superlative work. Lilias Cabrero is an example of a player whose Bag of Dyer proved accurate.

In other news, I think I’ll probably quit the Xpert Zone at the end of the season. It’s nothing against Carlos who’s a decent Admin, and Noirs de Bigorre have a special place in my heart. But it’s a “too many teams” thing again. I’m pondering rebranding Les Sangliers as Noires de Bigorre, if that would be accurate French?

Oh no, I really hope you don't leave the XZ sits as I'd hate to see the back of Noirs – even if we did get a Noires replacing them.

All eyes on the very top of the Xpert Zone for the run-in, by the way, as Sean's Traktor Volgograd are joint-top of the lead with five games to go in what is effectively a two-horse race. My own Tiree Automatic are now 3rd after two wins this week, but 10 points adrift and only 6 clear of the relegation line still, so basically it's the top two competing for the title and everyone else battling to avoid the drop.

[Sits]

Thanks VA, the main reason to choose NdB is that the admin in that league isn’t an OTFer. Otherwise it’s my Pro League team who are going OK, and the Xpert Ladies is a new project. I enjoy a project as much, or more than a mature team.

[Hot Orange]

OTF Season 60 Round 2

OTF
Two games in and there are no 100% records nor 0% records in the top flight. So that's nice. Champions St Pancras Starmers are back at the top of the table after they drew 2-2 at Vita Mortis, for whom substitute Lance Potter scored twice. Indeed, he has scored all three of Mortis' goals so far, all from the bench, single-handedly earning his side the two points that sees them in 6th. Newly promoted Banik Roystonov are 2nd following a somewhat fortunate 1-1 draw at home to Great Ouse Town, who dominated but find themselves propping up the early table. Four Candles overcame Dandy Town 1-0 at Hurlingham Park thanks to Apolo Arjona's free kick, and both sides have now won one and lost one. They sit 5th and 3rd respectively, separated by Croesoswallt Dragons, who strolled to a 2-0 win at Hideous Towns, leaving the hosts in 9th. Kernow Kensa and Zeugmaspor played out an uneventful goalless draw. Both have started with two draws and are side by side in 7th and 8th.

Division 1
Two 1-0 wins to start the season have AFC Csiki Monkeys at the top of Division 1. Their second such success, over visitors Saltney Drawers, was aided by the dismissal of Drawers midfielder Danny Bear just after the hour mark. Denes Udvardy fired in the Monkeys' winner ten minutes later. The Drawers have lost both opening games and are 9th. Turd Division drew 1-1 at Hampshire Deers to stay 2nd. It was the first point at this level for the Deers, but their performance suggests there will be plenty more. Locomotiv Noj also drew 1-1 away, at Whoft Fluffopolis, to remain in 3rd. The Fluffers are 7th after opening with two draws. Rejects Redux climb to 4th with a 2-0 home win over Wensleydale Blues, both goals coming from Noel Colbourne free kicks. The Blues slip to the bottom. Steaua Bridge also had a 2-0 win to get off the mark for the season. They are 5th, level with the team they defeated, Berkshire Swine.

Division 2
A trio of teams recorded 3-0 away victories to lead the way with 100% records. Die Ambosse are top after Floyd James' hat-trick of dead-ball strikes - two free kicks and a penalty - saw off New Dresden. Great Northern Railway's Tommy McConville couldn't quite match James' exploits, but his one free kick and one spot kick helped his team to a success at Eintracht Midwest that took them up to 2nd. Both Dresden and Midwest are without a point and make up the bottom two. Eriskay Expression are the third side with a perfect start. There was a penalty for them too - for handball, I bet, you know how things are these days, the game's gone - in their win at FC Gloryhammer, who drop to 7th. Athletico Deva also looked to be on course for a second win when Lorenc Abazi planted a free kick into the Heffron Hendecagon net to give his side a 3-2 lead in the 83rd minute, but Marchant Wonder Bike levelled two minutes into stoppage time to give Heffron a point which lifts them to 6th. Cods of War are just below Deva in 5th thanks to a 1-0 home win over The Gang Play Football, who await their first goal and point.

Division 3
The two teams revived by new management, Tree Hill High and Littlewoods Legends, delivered an entertaining encounter at Pullman Park. Hosts Tree Hill went 2-0 up in 15 minutes, but the Legends were level by the midway point of the first half and went on to win 4-2 with Ove Klein Johansen grabbing a hat-trick. The win takes them to the top of the table, while Tree Hill are 4th. The slowly maturing duo of Wharfedale Generals and Nieuwegein Kneebiters shared a 1-1 draw at Newall Carr Road. The Kneebiters had the chances to win the game but had to settle for a point that lifts them to 2nd, while the Generals drop to 7th. Wednesday de la Zouch sat out the opening day but got into action with a bang, thumping Brain Munchingflapjack 5-0 to go 3rd. The Flapjacks have had a shocker of a start and are bottom. Just above them, also with no points, are Pinewood Passers, who took the lead at Veni Vici Vigata but were quickly pegged back and eventually lost 2-1. VVV's first points of the campaign take them up to 6th, just below OWC Albion, who were not in action.

[Sits]

Nice one HO.

[Granthamian]

I enjoy a project as much, or more than a mature team.

So do I. I like the building process, which is why I've decided to carry on with my Xpert Ladies team for a while. I was thinking of renaming them when the season finishes next week but thanks to Janik's excellent summaries I have now got used to thinking of them as The Scholars so I'll leave well alone.

Thank you again to all who post the match reports on here. They give such an enhancement to the Xpert 11 world. Apart from anything else they invite you to take notice of and become interested in teams other than just your own. I like that.

[andrew7610]

Thank you again to all who post the match reports on here. They give such an enhancement to the Xpert 11 world. Apart from anything else they invite you to take notice of and become interested in teams other than just your own. I like that.

Seconded.

[Antepli Ejderha]

Thirded. And a massive Guzman for all the round ups.

[Various Artist]

Oh no, I really hope you don't leave the XZ sits as I'd hate to see the back of Noirs – even if we did get a Noires replacing them.

All eyes on the very top of the Xpert Zone for the run-in, by the way, as Sean's Traktor Volgograd are joint-top of the lead with five games to go in what is effectively a two-horse race. My own Tiree Automatic are now 3rd after two wins this week, but 10 points adrift and only 6 clear of the relegation line still, so basically it's the top two competing for the title and everyone else battling to avoid the drop.

One thing I missed there is that there's a massive game tonight, with Traktor Volgograd hosting title rivals Juveleo Rodrigo 1976 at the Dzerzhinskiy Stadium any moment now. Only goals scored separate the two of them at the Xpert Zone summit, with Traktor having the edge by virtue of having both scored and conceded 4 more.

[Various Artist]

Thank you again to all who post the match reports on here. They give such an enhancement to the Xpert 11 world. Apart from anything else they invite you to take notice of and become interested in teams other than just your own. I like that.

This is exactly why I always enjoyed reading them here in my early days in the game, and why I similarly enjoyed writing up the Heineken League the other year because – as much as anything – it helped me take much better notice of what was going on around the league and feel part of the wider picture, just from writing about it let alone reading it. And thus why I jumped at the chance to revive my Heineken-roundups tag team with HO to restart the OTF ones more recently. If others are enjoying them too so much the better

[Antepli Ejderha]

Relegated back to division 6 in the Xpert Ladies, a few injuries, ageing players and poor replacements but replacing an experienced keeper with a youngster cost me. I should have waited one more season because of the average age, ho hum.

[Sits]

Maybe we’ll see you there. 4th in the end.