X11 season 45 - de rigueur Mortis

[SouthdownRebel]

Ah, yes - I'd forgotten your departure during the ZDan debacle. The good news is that the league is far more stable now - we barely hear from CPI at all.

[Antepli Ejderha]

That's what I'd guessed from the thread. I also like the format of the league as it's different from the other leagues I'm in.

[Sits]

Still has bent teams in it, clearly but that's part of the challenge I suppose.

[SouthdownRebel]

@VA - it'll soon be time for the Inner Hebrides Challenge, episode XI. I believe it's my turn to host so I have issued a challenge, sir </gauntlet>

[Various Artist]

Thanks SdR, happily accepted. Glad you're keeping count of the number of times we've done this, I'd lost track! Many congratulations on FC Tobermory's elevation to the top flight, though it's a shame you'll be replacing all three of us currently there by the looks of things. One day we'll get a competitive Inner Hebrides Challenge Trophy game, really...!


In other news, many thanks to all the OTFers who've been waiting patiently along with everyone else in the Brythonnic Premiership for the new Season 51 to arrive – we had a lengthy delay so as to be able to bring both other leagues merging into us on board, then a further one as I've been busy this week with a variety of things so have only just been able to sit down and set up the new arrangements properly. The season is now set to begin in a week's time, so good luck with your final friendlies – there'll be room for a last batch next Tuesday before we kick off again.

I've been doing the 'housekeeping' too, now I've been able to sack the longest-inactive managers after keeping a few in place just to get 70 clubs through the season changeover. As of a few minutes ago there's three vacancies (Fourth Division side New Aberioan FC, the Sixth Division's Remo FC and Seventh Division outfit Saints of Ockholm), if there's anyone else here who fancies joining those us already in the league – there's 10 members from the OTF there at last count, I think, plus another cluster of names familiar from the likes of The Human League and MLX.

Pick of the opening-day fixtures sees SdR's Nyth Wobbegong host AE's Zeugma Gençlik in an enticing-looking clash in the Fifth Division. The following Tuesday then sees double derbies in the Third Division, with Sits' Sulawesi Babirusas hosting Cota's Chester St Oswalds and Sean's Racing Club Roquefort entertain AuntieBeryl's Clash City Rockers – whilst the currently managerless New Aberioan will face Scultura's Valerlads the same day in the Fourth. MortalJoe's Tullamore Town get involved with a trip to Zeugma in two weeks' time.

[Sits]

Thanks a lot VA, that's quite a league. In the Human we're down to one vacancy so if nothing's happened in a few days I will probably launch anyway.

And SDR, I don't think I actually congratulated you on getting to the top Xpert Zone division. Good luck, it's a tough nut.

[Sits]

Isn't it great on those rare occasions when you put a player on the market and get a bidding war? For the good of the conveyor belt I'm having to sell 23/10 Koeman defender Anastasie Magnier in the Human League. She has a listed value of 5.3m so I put her on at a teaser price of 575k. Got a bite in under an hour and she's now at 6.3m with over two days to go.

[Wouter D]

Just three more games until glory...

Only two to go! It was a good day for OTFers in the MLX Cup.

[Various Artist]

Yes, can't complain! Here's hoping for an all-OTF final – and we're guaranteed at least one participant after some terrific results today.

Had an atrocious time earlier in the day as Viking North Utsire crashed to a terrible – nay embarrassing – 3rd-round Ultimate League Cup exit to a Division 5 side. Quite a good X11 evening for me however as at the same time as Underground were beating MTB Wolves 3-1, Royal Atlantis won too to go 4 points clear at the head of HLC2 after only hitting the top for the first time this season on Monday. Ali Khan missed a 3rd-minute penalty against Fulham Palace (once Gremlic United) but just two minutes later he scored the first of a brace by latching onto a throughball from debuting Norwegian 17/4 Intelligent Long-Passing Mouthy RvP midfielder Harald Hardrada.
Among all the ancient Norse monarchs I've had come from the Atlantis academy, I'd been waiting for a long time to bestow that historic name on a fitting youth, so when this 4m-rated chap arrived this week I decided he was the one at last. Getting an assist five minutes into his career and bagging a 6 rating straight out of the gate (as well as getting booked on his debut) is just the sort of start I was hoping for from him! His turning up also crucially meant I was able to sell off the previous two midfield arrivals; an 18/4 who'd come a few days earlier fetched 77k but much more importantly Inge Younger (18/5 Fragile Mouthy Cock) went for 1.2m – three times his estimated value, so I assume that having played 8 games and reached 16 DV he must have shown up as an 18/6. This was vital as it's saved us from near-bankruptcy and means I've been able to set 10 players training this week to try to repair some terrible recent form damage.

[Sits]

fragile mouthy cock.

What do you say to that?

Well done to the OTFers in the semi finals, come on one of you.

And VA, you couldn't have called him Harald Hardrada if he'd had the Arrow eh?

[SouthdownRebel]

Thanks SdR, happily accepted. Glad you're keeping count of the number of times we've done this, I'd lost track! Many congratulations on FC Tobermory's elevation to the top flight, though it's a shame you'll be replacing all three of us currently there by the looks of things. One day we'll get a competitive Inner Hebrides Challenge Trophy game, really...!

And SDR, I don't think I actually congratulated you on getting to the top Xpert Zone division. Good luck, it's a tough nut.

Thanks chaps, we shall give it our best shot but it's not going to be easy so who knows. Hopefully we'll start to see the decline of Sh*ffield next season as their average age starts to kick in. Consecutive title wins really is below the belt for that mob.

Only two to go! It was a good day for OTFers in the MLX Cup.

Yes, can't complain! Here's hoping for an all-OTF final – and we're guaranteed at least one participant after some terrific results today.

Yes! Excellent results here, not least for United Underground. VA, I feel like you've been proclaiming "Underground are dead" for about six seasons now, but here they are still going strong top of their division and in the semi-final of the Cup.

Lovely to see Burnells Ironworks pull off a superb result against VVV, who last lost a Cup match way back in October and were unbeaten this season.

[Various Artist]

Isn't it great to see this Ironworks cup run out of nowhere? Well, it'd be great to see it end here, speaking selfishly, but. Really looking forward to our semi-final clash.

Heh, you're right of course SdR, but to be fair we've been incontrovertibly a step or more off the pace for the last three to five seasons whilst attempting to rebuild our original title-winning side into another team capable of contention, whilst the later arrivals (in particular) who'd built steadily upward from Season 2 to 4 onwards started to overtake us. Several of our 'second wave' younger players are at the stage of development where they're starting to produce some decent performances by now, however, and we seem to have parlayed that into a pretty good season so far.
The league position though remains 'false' as long as we remain yet to play VVV and Philadelphia Fury in our return fixtures, which both take place next week, so I'll reserve judgement until a week's time – when of course we'll also know whether we've made it to a third Cup Final or not. This is easily our best performance in that competition for a long time, having not made it past the last 16 since winning it in Season 6 – itself the only time we've gone further than the third round since winning it in Season 3, for that matter.

[Various Artist]

fragile mouthy cock.
What do you say to that?

I know, that sounded all wrong as soon as I'd typed it...

And VA, you couldn't have called him Harald Hardrada if he'd had the Arrow eh?

You might be conflating your battles of 1066 here Sits. Harald Hardrada of Norway was defeated at Stamford Bridge (5-3 AET) by Harold Godwinson of England, who then had to turn his army around and force-march them right the way down to Hastings for their next round versus William of Normandy and co, which Harold-with-an-O lost in a shootout. Harald-with-an-A thus might've actually enjoyed having the Arrow as some kind of blackly humorous karmic back-payment.

(Albeit there's a distinct chance the Bayeux Tapestry's famous arrow was a later interpolation by some overenthusiastic medieval restorer, so Harold may not have been shot at all, let alone fatally. And many/most believe already that the next 'panel', showing a figure being cut down by the swords of Norman knights, is probably the scene actually meant to depict the king's death.)

[Wouter D]

This is easily our best performance in that competition for a long time, having not made it past the last 16 since winning it in Season 6 – itself the only time we've gone further than the third round since winning it in Season 3, for that matter.

If we're doing statistics: IKK must win something this season, since we always* do so in odd seasons: the grand final in S3, the cup in S5, manager of the season in S7, the grand final in S9. We still have three options: the MLX Cup, the GLX Shield, and a postseason tournament. Let's see which one will work out.

*season one obviously doesn't count.

[SouthdownRebel]

You might be conflating your battles of 1066 here Sits. Harald Hardrada of Norway was defeated at Stamford Bridge (5-3 AET) by Harold Godwinson of England, who then had to turn his army around and force-march them right the way down to Hastings for their next round versus William of Normandy and co, which Harold-with-an-O lost in a shootout. Harald-with-an-A thus might've actually enjoyed having the Arrow as some kind of blackly humorous karmic back-payment.

Hardrada was robbed - no way was that fourth goal onside.

[Sits]

I'm embarrassed to have got that wrong. Time I brushed up on my Conquest era.

[Antepli Ejderha]

In the Golden League Division 6 I won 8-0 against a Zombie team, there are 6 zombies in my division. After 19 minutes I'd scored 7. Next up is a cup match against a live team, I won the first leg 2-0 at home so I'll be parking the bus. My opponents are a youth project with an experienced defender and midfielder, the defender is injured so I'll be man marking their other decent player.

VA has started the Brythonnic League and I've managed to change all but two of my players' names, the only two I've not been able to change were the direct transfers from Sean and Sits, is this a rule I didn't know about?

There's also been a little squabble on the scribble with Rmy100 having a moan and someone taking offence. Hopefully things will calm down quickly.

[SouthdownRebel]

If anyone with VIP is interested in joining MLX, there is a vacancy at Lillyhammer in the second tier. We're just over half way through the regular season.

https://www.xperteleven.com/vacantTe...id=361711&dh=2

[Various Artist]

Oh, Glacier's gone at last then. Can't say I'm too disappointed, I've never warmed to him. (Pun only partially intended.)

AE, there is indeed a rule that players who have history at any other teams within a private league – i.e. those who've moved on direct transfers – can't have their names changed. It's somewhat analogous to how they keep their names for life in the official leagues, though must be annoying to have sprung on you like this I appreciate.
Is there some theming going on with these new monikers you've picked, by the way? I'm intrigued as they're not typical 'Zeugma' names (i.e. Turkish, basically) and don't sound like they've been plucked randomly from thin air, but I don't actually recognise any from anywhere specifically.

I'm embarrassed to have got that wrong. Time I brushed up on my Conquest era.

Don't worry Sits, no-one was looking. I'm mildly embarrassed myself to have dismissed Hardrada until recently as merely the 'third wheel' in the dramatic relationships of 1066 England. It's only looking into the ancient Norse monarchs due to my theme-naming at Royal Atlantis that I've discovered what an impressively deep and rich hinterland he had: apart from his achievements in Scandinavia, he was ranked highly in the imperial court of Constantinople, earning great wealth and renown through his military feats throughout the Mediterranean and possibly the Holy Land in the service of the Byzantine Empire, before returning to Norway to take up his throne as arguably the last great Viking king.
See, it's a genuine education this game, isn't it?

[Various Artist]

End of Season 40 DVs in the Xpert Zone for Tiree Automatic:

A mixed bag, I think you'll agree. Leuchars had 7 training sessions this season, Bailey and Heligoland had 8 apiece, yet all three struggled to little more than double figures for average form and their DVs consequently have been rubbish all season – Leuchars scraping to 15 on the last day to salvage something vaguely respectable, at least.

I fear Cromarty will jack it in next season, having been crocked for ages and only returned for 45 minutes in yesterday's final match. This was how my defence looked just over a couple of weeks ago, as a devastating run of injuries (all three came in consecutive Tuesdays) coincided with the critical stage of our battle against relegation:

So it could've been worse, overall... and at least the teenage defenders got plenty of game-time. Though note that wünderkind Machrihanish frustratingly had a late form collapse that cost him that 18 DV he had at the time, plus last arrival Jersey annoyingly stalled on 15 after the penultimate game to ensure no CR heroics for him. Am hoping next season back in the Pro Zone may provide a slightly more comfortable home for my still underpowered team than the constant battering of the top flight over the past three campaigns has allowed for.

[Janik]

X11 Ladies League matchday 9 report.

Division 3d

Capstone Trinity 	0 - 0	Viking South Utsira


Division 4h

Coxy Ladies Wulpen	3 - 0	Kilwinning WFC
Gemmel (O.G.) 37'
Wostijn 56'
Vandenbergh 89'

Drakaina		1 - 3	Q.P.R Ladies
Atum (pen) 10'			Elliott (pen) 33'
				Lever 72'
				Gelsthorpe 79'


Division 4j

Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC	2 - 1	Witches of Chiswick
Miskovic 24'			Harold 84'
Prins 28'


Division 5:17

LNWR Locomotive		2 - 1	Consett Vixens
Vilhena 33'			Hemingway 84'
Zakarian 88'


Division 5:22

Solent Sirens		0 - 3	Magnificent Girls
				Quixote 35'
				Spencer 41'
				Øya 66'


Division 5:29

Dublin City Womens FC	1 - 2	Fossa Delle Leonesse
Kjellberg 85'			Pallottola 40', 67'


Division 6:40

Invisible Ladies	3 - 1	Ladies Allariz
Coppell 22'			Slamkova 91'
Björkgren 27'			Götesson (sent off) 89'
Shuttlewood 72'


Division 6:55

Tottenham Brasov Femini 1 - 4	Menywod Maeshafn
Soryu 45'			Westerberg 54', 57'
				van Hijde 64'
				Cesljar 85'


Division 6:62

Barca Ladies FC		3 - 1	Csiki Girls
Karimerto 3'			McInns 16'
Axell 22', 91'

Viking South Utsira travelled to winless relegation zone dwellers Capstone Trinity looking to keep their promotion push going with a victory.
That was The Blood Eagles plan, at least. Trinity had other ideas, and would prove particularly obdurate on this occasion. Velvet Android’s side had two-thirds of the possession, but this only translated into a single chance. And no goals. Fortunately for the travelling Utsiran fans, there were no shot at all at Julie ‘Zen’ Alme’s net.
Two points dropped, right? Well not, as it turns out. That was because second-placed Mighty Aphrodite were also held by one of the bottom three who are yet to experience victory this season, and at home in their case. And Hammer Throwers, who sat third in the morning, went the whole hog and lost. So The Blood Eagles position in the Division 3d table has marginally improved; they are still three points clear of second, but now boast an eight point gap on third.

It was absolutely vital to Coxy Ladies Wulpen’s survival hopes that they beat bottom side Kilwinning WFC. The visitors came into the game with just two points to their names, though The Waders weren’t much better off with six. And three of those had come in the first meeting of the sides.
Wulpen had the better of the first half, but needed a couple of favours to get themselves ahead at the interval. The first came from Kilwinning’s Leah Gemmel, who put through her own net on 37 minutes and the second was provided by referee Stellan Offsajed when he disallowed a visitors equaliser just before the break.
Aurelie Wostijn headed a second a little over ten minutes into the second-half, which eased the tension of Curlew’s Nest crowd. However manager Janik did not breathe entirely easily until Laetitia Vandenbergh made it three just before stoppage time.
Drakaina are fighting at the other end of the table, and had a chance to consolidate their top position as promotion rivals Q.P.R Ladies visited Delphi.
The Dragons had drawn at Loftus Road in the first meeting of the sides, and similar looked likely in this one after an even first half in which the sides swapped penalties, Silvia Atum converting for Etienne’s side on 10 minutes and the hoops responding with 33 on the watch. However things didn’t go to plan for the Greek side after the break, as Q.P.R put on a superb show. They struck twice, on 72 and 79 minutes, and to be frank deserved their two goal win in that half of the match.
Despite the loss, Drakaina stay top of Division 4h as second-placed FC Nee-Nee also lost, in their case rather more unexpectedly at relegation threatened Sunhilla Ladies. Q.P.R leapfrog Nee-Nee into second on goal difference, with The Dragons one point clear of the pair. Meanwhile, at the other end of the table, Wulpen remain seventh but are now just two points behind fifth.

Matchday 9 brought the third OTF derby of the season as Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC hosted their return game against Witches of Chiswick.
The visitors were the first to threaten on 15 minutes, a flick header from Natalie Mercier going narrowly wide of Eleonor Brusgård’s goal. Unfortunately for The Bewitched this near miss simply gave their hosts ideas, and it was from a near carbon-copy move that Kanjeng took the lead on 24 minutes, Jovana Miskovic flicking in Jennifer Willockx’s centre.
Tyan Borot came close to making it two for the Sea Spirits just two minutes later as her shot was close to grazing the outside of the post. However the Merapi-Kraton-South Sea crowd wouldn’t have to wait long for a second as a Miskovic found Cindy Prins for a well-placed header on 28 minutes.
Prins’ goal concluded the five minute flurry of activity for SeanoftheShed’s side, albeit a very productive little burst. They would have only one more attempt in the match, Adèle Pailloux nussubg the target when attempting the Miskovic-flick. However it wasn’t the end of the chances, or indeed the goals as Lucy Harold dove to head in Tasha Peters’ 84th minute corner to give Wiblflibl’s charges some hope. They even had a chance to level, deep into stoppage time, with a free-kick in shooting range. The Bewitched eschewed the direct shot, and instead went for a worked routine: Tamika Yamazaki’s header was on target but was held by Brusgård to confirm The Sea Goddesses victory.
It was a win that saw the sides swap places in the Division 4j table, with Kanjeng climbing to seventh and the Witches falling to eighth. Safety is still distant for both sides however, with the Indonesians five points adrift and the West London side now with a seven point margin to make up.

[Janik]

Back-to-back wins over the turn had seen LNWR Locomotive build up a head of steam, but would that be enough to topple leaders Consett Vixens?
They seemed to be on track when Corália Vilhena headed in on 33 minutes. That gave Viktor Boskovic’s side a one-goal half-time lead, albeit one gained slightly against the run of play. The manager called for more after the break, and got it as The Steamers piled on the pressure looking for the killer second. Chances came and went unconverted, and then, on 84 minutes, the sucker punch as the Vixens tried a speculative shot from range, their only attempt of the half, and saw it register.
However, just when it seemed that The Steamers would be derailed, they came again, Gayane Zakarian shooting home on 88 minutes much to the relief of the Mollington Street faithful.
Neither side changed positions on the back of this result, Locomotive remain fourth, but the Division 5:17 table does have a rather aspect. The gap between leaders Consett and LNWR has been cut to just two points, with Pinkie Pie sandwich a point in between in second.

Solent Sirens knew they faced a difficult challenge when they welcomed Division 5:22 leaders Magnificent Girls to Mayfield Park.
The Sirens did their best to meet it in the first half, creating a couple of chances and stopping Magnificent scoring from two of their openings. Unfortunately for manager Andrew7610, the visitors created four opportunities in the opening 45 minutes. The second half was similar, two more away chances and one more goal, with referee Manuel Ficu intervening to prevent it becoming four and a bit of a rout.
That said 0-3 at home is still pretty heavy. It leaves Solent sitting seventh, though still only one point from safety.

Two points and one goal scored: it’s been a tough old opening to the new existence for Dublin City Womens FC. The latest side for them face as they attempted to get some momentum going was Fossa Delle Leonesse.
Dublin actually had the better of the first half in terms of possession. But not in chances. Or goals, Fossa striking once to leave Dublin boss Mortal Joe to deliver his latest variant on “It’s OK girls, keep trying, it will come!”
Heads slumped again around Phoenix Park when the visitors added a second midway through the second half. However there was a moment of joy in store for the home fans. It came in the 85th minute, and from Simone Kjellberg as she shot home her side’s second goal of the campaign. And the first of her career as well.
Kjellberg’s goal made for a nervous last few minutes for the visitors, but they held on, leaving Dublin still winless and on two points at the foot of the Division 5:29 table. They are ten points adrift of safety and their relegation to the 7th tier would be confirmed next time out if they lose and ... because I am a Girl win.

Invisible Ladies were looking to bounce back from a first league defeat of the season last time out, and what better way of doing so than taking on bottom-placed zombies Ladies Allariz.
The See-Throughs unsurprisingly dominated the opening half, and struck twice midway through it via a rare goal from defender Virginia Coppell, scored on a breakaway, and a not-so-rare strike by Elly Björkgren in general terms, although her header was her first of this campaign.
Two was not a particularly massive haul given the number of chances the Invisible’s created, but the final total didn’t hugely matter. What the game offered was manager Pebblethefish the chance to field players like teenaged striking prodigy Aileen Shuttlewood (16/4). Shuttlewood repaid the faith with the third for her side, and the first of her career in just her second ever appearance, on 72 minutes.
That should have been that, particularly when Allariz’ Eivor Götesson received her marching orders on 89 minutes (straight red card). Maybe this breed a little complacency in See-Through ranks as they conceded one in stoppage time, a long ranger. Scored by Slamkova. Naturally.
There was good news from elsewhere in Division 6:40 as leaders Girls Aloud suffered a shock defeat, which saw them slip down to third, with Invisible Ladies climbing a spot to second. The San Seethrough outfit are level on points with new leaders Spandex FC, and a point ahead of Girls Aloud.

The days of struggling for wins seem a long time ago now for Menywod Maeshafn as they lined up at Tottenham Brasov Femini on the back of a three-game winning run.
The first half of this one was a slightly sorry affair Maeshafn, though, as they lost key midfield schemer Monalisa Corleone to an 11-day injury, and then conceded a goal against the run of play in stoppage time to Soryu (there is a very weak pun in there somewhere!)
IsThactherDeadYet’s side have a burgeoning self-belief these days, and they weren’t going to let that misfortune ruin their day. Not if Ada Westerberg was going to have anything to do with it, anyway. Westerberg strike twice in three minutes earlish in the second half, a shot following a corner and a header, to turn the match around completely. Both of Westerberg’s goals were set-up by Elodie van Hijde, who soon turned scorer herself to make it 3-1. Patricia Cesljar blasted a fourth from range inside the last five minutes to complete the scoring.
Maeshafn remain third in Division 6:55, but in another sign of their changed fortunes are now comfortably the Division’s leading scorers. They have the chances to cut the gap to leaders Sidro Crew in their next match as the two sides face off. The Welsh are also two points adrift of second spot currently.

Second against top was the fare as Csiki Girls made their way across Europe to face Barca Ladies FC.
With the Csiki’s four points clear at the top at the opening whistle, a win for Ad Hoc’s side would have opened up a very significant gap in the table. Barca were obviously determined to avoid that, and took a step towards their ambition when they took the lead inside three minutes.
The Csiki’s struck back just past the quarter hour, Saoirse McInns racing through to equalise, but Barca came again to make it 2-1 midway through the first half. That was how it remained until second-half stoppage time despite the teams trading chances. There was to be one more goal late on, but it came for the hosts as they caught Csiki Girls pushing up seeking an equaliser.
Csiki Girls advantage in the Division 6:62 table therefore shrinks from four points down to one. They do remain top though, and are also four points clear of third.

[SouthdownRebel]

Oh, Glacier's gone at last then. Can't say I'm too disappointed, I've never warmed to him. (Pun only partially intended.)

I tend to agree, the one or two interactions of his that I've seen were fairly...frosty.

[Various Artist]

Must... resist... puns...

I'm certain he's a very good manager, and nearly certain I do him a disservice with my attitude towards him, but I've never got over my initial impression of the guy when he coolly (dammit!) and eloquently talked his the way right around the outer perimeter of the original Xpert Ladies Scribble sexism row without ever once committing to saying anything helpful, to my mind. Ah well.

Many thanks Janik for the Xpert Ladies epistle(s). VSU are hanging in there and clearly in with our best shot of reaching Division 2 for the first time – have we ever had an OTF presence at that level? – but I can't see us holding off the extremely strong Mighty Aphrodite in our return engagement to stay ahead of they in the title race. Quite startling to realise, after our Cup exit last week, there's suddenly only 5 games left, so the usual scramble to sort out DVs is also on in earnest of course. If we don't go up I'd like to hope for a derby or two next season as Drakaina are obviously in our 'stream' for division allocations. Good luck with the Waders' battle against the drop, that was a vital win to get under your belts against Kilwinning.

[Sean of the Shed]

Enough of the Glacier puns, I'm beginning to drift off.