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X11 season 45 - de rigueur Mortis

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    Gastele have spent the season battling against relegation from Division 2b whilst Drakaina have been pushing for promotion. And that was still the case when the two OTF sides kicked off at The Lemon Grove. But whilst the hosts were fifth and The Dragons second, a recent slow down at the top of the table and upturn for Gastele meant there were just three points between them.
    It wasn’t all that clear during the first half whether the gap would be growing again and essentially evaporating as the signals were confused. Gastele had the only chance of the period, Odette Diarra drawing a save from Anastasia Shkolnikova on 33 minutes, but the visitors having over 60% possession.
    Things became clearer after the break as Jdsx’s charges upped their share of the ball and began to create openings. The first of these was straight from the restart, Fernanda Perdao crashing a powerful curling drive onto the bar. Shkolnikova was called into action again just before the hour when a free-kick was chipped up for Gunilla Melkersson to head, but the stopper warded it off.
    Jessica Dickson flashed a powerful long range shot centimetres wide in the 71st minute as Gastele continued to threaten, with Fran Drouer bursting clear and lobbing over Shkolnikova and also the bar five minutes later. The pressure was now coming in waves, a free-kick being dinked for Diarra to half-volley just seconds after Drouer’s chance, but Diarra’s radar was off. That wasn’t the case in the 80th minute though (three minutes after the miss) when she coolly sidefooted home the opener that the glut of chances had made seemed inevitable.
    Etienne’s side only had one brief glimpse of goal in the match, which came two minutes after the opener. Susanna Barry was oh-so-close to snatching an undeserved leveller as she burst clear and lobbed Roza Belova only to see the ball drop agonisingly slowly and skim the bar before landing on the roof of the net.
    1-0 was not really a fair reflection on Gastele’s dominance of the day, so the Greeks could have few complaints when another cool finish, Veta Luengo carefully placing her header from a corner into, er, the corner of the goal, made it two with 89 on the clock.
    That goal ended the game as a contest, both sides walking through stoppage time. The effect on the table was quite dramatic, and also mundane at the same time. The dullness was in terms of positions, the only team to change places being Drakaina, who slipped from second to third on goal difference. The excitement stemming from how ridiculously close things now are – new second place team November Revolution are level on points with Gastele in fifth! The gap above these four teams to leaders FC Sprezzatura is five points, though the Dragons can cut that back to two with a win on Tuesday, whilst the advantage the same sides have over the bottom three is four points, which Gastele will be looking to extend when they visit sixth-placed outfit Chelsea Ladies FC .

    There was a lot going on in 2b, and also a fair amount in Division 3e where Viking South Utsira, who sat seventh, travelled to North-West Germany to take on BV Cloppenburg, who were one point and place better off.
    It was a must win for both teams, but only Cloppenburg seemed to have got the message as they attack from the opening whistle and caught The Blood Eagles still asleep in their eyrie with a goal in the first 30 seconds. Viking were still in dozy form for the rest of the opening half and fell further behind on 35 minutes.
    The second half was better for Velvet Android’s outfit (it could hardly have been worse!), reducing further home chances to just one and getting a goal back on 77 minutes through Emilie Klovning’s burst through and finish. No equaliser was forthcoming though as Viking continued to slump towards relegation.
    The Blood Eagles only realistic chance of survival is winning both their remaining games. Which would be great escape if it happened as it would be a remarkable turn-around from their present run of one point from their last five league games. The deep run in the Cup seems to have come at a serious cost…

    [b]Coxy Ladies Wulpen[/b, pushing for promotion, hosted relegation battlers Dial L for Ladies on Matchday 12. But after recent reverses, Waders boss Janik was taking nothing for granted about this match-up.
    That is why he looked so crestfallen when Aurelie Wostijn’s 11th minute ‘opener’ was waved off by Wanda Rinn. However he shouldn’t have worried as Wostijn was still the first to get her name on the scoresheet, just with a ‘34’ after it as she headed home Jessica Kabasele’s cross.
    Wulpen gradually turned up the wick after the break, having more of the ball and creating a steady trickle of chances. Well maybe a bit more than a trickle, though less than a stream. Either way Kabasele turning home the second of the match from a corner in the 79th minute had been presaged by other opportunities for that killer second.
    That secured the win which kept Coxy Ladies second in Division 4i. And now just two points behind leaders Spicks Killiettes after the Ayrshire outfit were held to a draw. Which is striking distance for when the teams meet on Matchday 13. However Wulpen also need to look over their shoulders; Cup semi-finalists Busby Babes are just a point adrift of them in third.

    Bombay Green Rockets were looking to build upon a big win last week when they visited FC Dench Ladies. And, who knows, maybe get leapfrog themselves into play-off contention with a win over the third-placed side, who were only four points ahead of The Pyrotechnicians.
    Or maybe not. Because on this day it was Dench providing the oohs and aahs. The hosts were two ahead by the interval as HKS5’s side struggled to cope with the high flyers. A third just before the hour sealed the deal for the National Treasurers.
    Last week bottom side soon-to-be-former AK Heartbreakerz held out until the hour mark before their mid-table foes Allstar 002 made a breakthrough. But surely Mortal Joe’s young charges were not going to manage similar against league leaders Invincible Shaolin? Were they?
    The home crowd troop to the Heart Stadium out of obligation. Their side would be behind soon enough. It was just a matter of Shaolin creating some chances. In time. Surely. But not in the first half as the sides reached the interval scoreless and chanceless.
    It was even like the hosts had been dominated; possession was 55-45% against only. And now the excitement was growing rapidly, even though the hosts chances of going ahead were hindered by an injury to forward Vivianne Messing, who was replaced by a defender without a goal yet in her career as there was no attacking cover on the bench. And on time ticked. 50 minutes, 55, the hour mark all passed and with it the previous best for the season. 65. 70. 75. 8… Oh No! Finally, cruelly, the visitors lived up to their name by making and taking a chance.
    And that was that. Heartbreakerz were not going to score so another defeat was in the books. But if one was looking for green shoots, a 1-0 defeat to a side with 8 wins from 12, and who won the first encounter of the two sides 5-0, is a pretty good sign for the future.
    The defeat technically confirmed Heartbreakerz bottom placed finish in Division 5:1 this season. Meanwhile Bombay stay fifth despite their loss as the side a point below, Arsenal LFC, were also beaten.

    A vital win last week had boosted LNWR Locomotive survival hopes. Could they do it again at Watergate Bay Surfers to close another three point gap on a side above?
    The first half gave grounds for cautious optimism for Steamers boss Viktor Boskovic. His side were in the game, albeit with slightly less of the ball than their hosts. This was still the case as the match passed the hour mark, but the next ten minutes proved to be LNWR’s downfall as they conceded twice.
    Injury reduced Watergate to ten players five minutes from time and The Steamers took advantage, midfielder Gia Diana firing home a corner for her first goal after over two complete seasons at the club. However the strike was overdue both in the length of time it had taken Diana to get off the mark in a Locomotive shirt and in its placement in this game as it arrived in the 89th minute. The grandstand finish didn’t really have time to develop.
    And with that The Steamers were back to square one as elsewhere Wælcyrie Girls won their match. The Mollington Street side once again find themselves sixth in Division 5:16, three points from safety and having to win their next match.

    Ullapool Northern Star were looking to get their play-off push back on track after defeat last week as they travelled to relegation-haunted Murcielago.
    But that wouldn’t be how things worked out for Delicatemoth’s side as they turned in a weirdly flat performance. The hosts ran affairs from start to nearly finish. About the only thing for Northern Star to hand their hat on was Murcielago had not turned their dominance into any more than a 1-0 lead as the last ten minutes approached.
    That gave an opening, if only Ullapool could get a view of the whites of the posts. Such as the chance that fell Mary-Leslie Mair’s way 10 minutes from time, for example. One she buried with glee. A point utterly stolen was suddenly on their cards. And then it was off again as the hosts were shocked into another flurry and scored again. And this time added a third to build the two-goal cushion they should really have had rather earlier.
    Disappointing for the Scots? Yes, very. A disaster that ends their chances? No, not at all. The sides that began the day second and third also lost. DM’s charges have slipped to fifth, but are still only two points from their target of second.

    Comment


      After a shock defeat last week Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC had a second go at securing promotion and the Division 5:21 title at relegation-threatened Bombastic Girls.
      Getting over the hump was actually a little dependent on other results as The Sea Spirits began the day six points clear of The Temptation Within who sat second, but the main concern for boss SeanoftheShed and co was winning their match. Once again it didn’t prove easy, Bombastic hardly living up to their name by adopting an extremely cautious approach that stifled the game as a contest. There was nary a shot from either team in the first half and things were hardly more dramatic after it though as defences tired a sight or two was had.
      And one of these proved to be the champagne moment, Tyan Borot racing on to Adèle Pailloux’s 80th minute through ball and firing past the Bombastic ‘keeper. That prompted an explosion of joy from the travelling Sea Goddesses fans, who had been rather down just minutes earlier after veteran midfielder and club legend Jennifer Willockx departed the field on a stretcher. She will be out for 13 days, so may not feature again this season.
      Willockx‘s absence will be felt, but won’t matter too much as rivals The Temptation Within were beaten to add to Kanjeng’s win. And that means the title and an immediate return to Division 4 has been secured with two games still to play.

      Csiki Girls had already slipped over on one banana skin recently with defeat to a side sure to go down. That made them approach their game with another team in the mire, Golden Pride, with great caution.
      It didn’t help, as once again ad hoc’s girls weirdly underperformed. They fell behind after 17 minutes, levelled on 24 when Robin Neaves thumped in from 30 yards, but that proved to be only a token piece of resistance. The visitors were back in front on 36 minutes and had the game wrapped up soon after half-time.
      The good news for Csiki Girls all came from elsewhere in Division 5:32 as this proved to be the only game with a decisive result. That meant the ground lost was only a point, and The Csiki’s hold on to second in the table. They are a point behind leaders Queens in Uniforms and three ahead of a pair of teams who sit just outside the play-off spots. Oh, and on the other side of the ball Golden Pride were relegated despite their win!

      Another new name to our firmament is Rising Stars of Division 6:3. Blamb, also of Hampshire Deers of the OTF league, took them over a few days prior to their clash with second-in-the-table side Stattena IF.
      I think it’s a fair bet the Stattena boss did not clock a new active manager had taken over his opponents, as he picked all his U19s to get some DV in. The visitors defence had a particularly callow look, with four out of the back five aged 17 or 18 and rated at grade 4. The visiting bosses reaction to events must have been something. Initial confusion as Rising Stars started on the front foot, morphing to concern when Sarah Sinclair gave the hosts the lead on 18 minutes and then growing horror as Sinclair made it two on 34. Her first two goals for the club, btw, in Sinclair’s 35th appearance.
      It went from bad to worse after the break for the visitors, Anna Colin netting a third on 66 minutes and Traviata Giampà making it four just two minutes after that. And with that the Stars rose up a place in the table, from seventh to sixth. And they won’t be taken that lightly again by anyone.

      Solent Sirens and Clockwork Oranje clashed in a match of basically zero wider consequence.
      The two teams were competing over fifth place in Division 6:20, which was in visitors Oranje’s possession at the start of play by a margin of goal difference. Even if the prize was particularly coveted it was a target to play for, and Captain Flack (aka Kevin S) and his Sirens team seemed the most interested in claiming it.
      The South Coast side were well on top in the opening half in general terms, but without breaking their Dutch/Swedish visitors defence down. That changed after the break as Solent had even more of the ball and added chances. From those two goals resulted from a pair of familiar names from Andrew7610’s time in charge at Mayfield Park:- Geovana Abbiati got the first direct from a free-kick on 75 minutes before sending over an 82nd minute corner for Marlene Stieglecker to turn home the second.
      The end is approaching for both stalwarts (35 and 33 respectively) but the final curtain is still at least a season away. Which is also true of Simone de Beauvior who remained on the bench nicely wrapped up in a warm blanket for the entire of this game (de Beauvoir is 38).
      Solent took over fifth place from their opponents on the back of the win. Holding that is the limit of their ambitions for the rest of this campaign.

      A play-off spot was still a theoretical possibility for Invisible Ladies ahead of their clash with The Modern Lepers.
      To keep those mathematical hopes alive The See-Throughs needed a win. And things did not start well as they fell 1-0 behind in just the 7th minute. That was not exactly with the run of play and not exactly against it either as Invisible were having a lot of first half possession but found chances split evenly. The good news for Pebblethefish’s side was so were goals, Beáta Nádasdy bursting away to level up on the night in the 36th minute.
      The See-Throughs took things up a level after the break, having even more possession and going all dead-eye in front of the net. Rachel Crouch was the first to coolly slot home on 55 minutes, sliding home to complete a neat free-kick routine. Nádasdy got her second of the day from range on 61 minutes, the goal teed up by debutant forward Phoebe Clark (17/4), whose memorable first outing in senior Football got even better when she also struck her first goal from Tammy Golding’s 81st minute set-up.
      The final scoresheet entry of the night completed two hattricks, Golding’s of assists and (she had also created the opener) and Nádasdy’s of goals to take The See-Throughs to four from four in terms of chances converted after the break.
      Victory lifted Invisible up to fourth in the Division 6:34 table. The gap to second stands at six points and +18 goal difference though, which is not going to be recoverable.

      Hazeldean Inchmistress are also likely in forlorn pursuit of a side that won’t let up. But there is no choice for the Imperials but to keep up the chase by beating sides like Lilywhite Ladies and then hope for unexpected help from elsewhere.
      Foxy265’s side dealt with the bit under their control, winning their game, very competently. Lilywhite put up decent resistance and made it hard for the Framleyshire outfit to create chances. However from the relatively low number of openings Hazeldean did fashion, three goals resulted. Jessica Dekoninck got the opener on 29 minutes and Jennie Bringevik the second on 36, both breakaway strikes. Dahnya Di Vaio added a third late on, 88 minutes, from closer range.
      The hope of help was elsewhere was always very slim on this matchday as Division 6:43 leaders CF Fuego Eagles faced a struggling zombie. They duly won 6-0 to remain perfect in terms of wins and goals conceded for the season. Inchmistress will highly likely not catch the five points they need on Fuego, but they can spoil those two records when the sides clash on Tuesday.

      Unbeaten Division 6:53 leaders Zeugma Dostluk Spor would have been fully expecting to move three points closer to the title when they visited an Ultra Violet LMW side with a very competent manager but who have been in handbrake on, money hoarding mode for 10+ seasons now.
      Whilst the hosts must be ultra rich by now their current team is ropey and Antepli Ejderha girls put them to the sword. Latife Kurt got the opener on 18 minutes turning in from a half-saved free-kick, Rosaleen Neil adding to that with a pair of strikes on 47 and 68 minutes, a long range shot and a header respectively. There were no more goals, and indeed few other chances in the game.
      The win maintained Zeugma’s three point lead at the 6:53 summit. They also hold a +12 Goal Difference advantage over second, which gives the Anatolians effective breathing space. One more win and they will practically be champions.

      Talking of title wins, Menywod Maeshafn’s expected celebrations were put on hold last week after a shock loss. But IsThatcherDeadYet’s side were still on the brink; victory at FR Timmer and the corks could start popping.
      However, after the Matchday 11 experience where the Welsh side had been heading for the title with 83 minutes on the clock only for things to go wrong, no-one was going to count chickens. Not that there were any available as the game stayed scoreless to the interval and then beyond. And then, when the deadlock was finally broken midway through the second half, it was Timmer who did so to the horror of the travelling fans.
      That prompted a response from Maeshafn and a leveller just three minutes later, Simone Kjellberg turning home from point-blank range after a corner caused the mother of all goalmouth scrambles. The sides were still deadlocked as the stoppage time approached. However, just when it seemed like another opportunity was going to pass Maeshafn by, up stepped a heroine to save the day. Who was our (metaphorically) caped saviour? Who else but skipper and all round legendary forward Ada Westerberg, who headed in her 122nd goal for the club with 89 on the watch.
      And that was that – Maeshafn were champions and looking forward to a return to Division 5 after just one season away.

      Comment


        Haha, that's a great review of Rising Stars' game Janik. It's always a git of a thing to be caught on the hop like that when you think you're facing a zombie, especially if you've fielded all the kids like that. I wonder if their opponents' boss 'watched' the game or jumped straight to the Match Report, which surely would've provoked a heck of a double-take as it sank in which way around the scoreline was.


        On the "fielding kids" note, I have been playing Viking South Utsira's new 17-year-old goalie Cordelia Austrheim in every league game since at the beginning of the month – so we could be doing better, potentially; it isn't just a cup hangover. That said, our general downward league trend in the last few seasons has been so pronounced I'm not altogether convinced I know what I'm doing regardless. We were on the fringes of the promotion picture in a competitive division however and a couple of wins lately could've seen us contending for a return to Division 2.

        Instead of course I've concentrated on development to the extent we're on the brink of dropping back into Division 4 for the first time in about a dozen seasons. Given that the squad has been in transition for a while now though I figured that we're going to take a bit longer yet to look good again (if we ever do) and so I might as well suck up another relegation since the arrival of a 17/5 academy GK was something to be seized on with both hands.
        Last edited by Various Artist; 24-02-2020, 13:34.

        Comment


          Thanks Janik, I hadn't realised quite how young their team was, but if the manager had been a little more attentive, they may have noticed my press release a couple of days before the game!

          On the OTF league, I suspect I may have been the victim of a goal of the season contender after the following commentary:
          Dangerous Free-Kick > The ball is lifted up for Berndt Scilacci who strikes it with a half-volley > GOAL!

          It sounded like an impressive free-kick routine at first reading, then I noticed who got the assist – their keeper! In my head it's a 60 yard pass reminiscent of Bergkamp's goal in 98, but instead of the delicate touches of Dennis, it's a scorching shot on the bounce.

          Comment


            Heheh, I've had a few keepers who have become my regular freekick-takers due to having the Long Pass SQ, but I tend to assume they come forward to at least the halfway line to take them.

            I believe it's actually possible to get a goalie with the Free Kick skill, but it's so vanishingly rare I can't remember the last time I saw it (not for years) and have certainly never had one like that.

            Comment


              Originally posted by Various Artist View Post
              Heheh, I've had a few keepers who have become my regular freekick-takers due to having the Long Pass SQ, but I tend to assume they come forward to at least the halfway line to take them.

              I believe it's actually possible to get a goalie with the Free Kick skill, but it's so vanishingly rare I can't remember the last time I saw it (not for years) and have certainly never had one like that.
              That's something I've never heard of VA.

              Often my penalty taker is my keeper, it started after players kept missing penalties for Zeugmaspor so I gave the job to Fikret Yücel who didn't let me down, 11 goals. My current keeper, Arda Gürkanoğlu has 12 goals.

              Comment


                I like an Ice Cube goalie for penalties.

                Comment


                  Originally posted by lambers View Post
                  Thanks Janik, I hadn't realised quite how young their team was, but if the manager had been a little more attentive, they may have noticed my press release a couple of days before the game!

                  On the OTF league, I suspect I may have been the victim of a goal of the season contender after the following commentary:
                  Dangerous Free-Kick > The ball is lifted up for Berndt Scilacci who strikes it with a half-volley > GOAL!

                  It sounded like an impressive free-kick routine at first reading, then I noticed who got the assist – their keeper! In my head it's a 60 yard pass reminiscent of Bergkamp's goal in 98, but instead of the delicate touches of Dennis, it's a scorching shot on the bounce.
                  The goalkeeper in question has the long-pass SQ as VA says, and happens to be set as my Free Kick taker in the absence of any other real candidate. But its also probably because he models himself on José Luis Chilavert and simply uses his seniority within the squad to bully his way into taking all the free-kicks and penalties or else he's taking his ball home.

                  Comment


                    Sorry all, only 3 weeks in and I forgot this until yesterday, then got caught up with other things and didn't get around to starting it until just before match-time today! Opened up all the games and tables in separate tabs so it would all be there for reference even once today's update overtook things.

                    So, here is the news for Monday, which is entirely relevant and up-to-date as long as you ignore Thursday's subsequent happenings...

                    OTF League roundup for 24th February: Season 58 round 6
                    Division 3
                    The last two 100% teams collided at Porridge Court, and the honours ended even after hosts die Ambosse raced into a two-goal interval lead over Hampshire Deers only to be pegged back to 2-2 midway through the second half. A fair result from a closely-fought contest kept the Deers three points clear of the Anvils still having played a game more.
                    Closing up to just a point behind the latter in 3rd are Eintracht Midwest, who saw off Cods of War by the odd goal in five at Rockall. Twice the hosts pulled back level but Ryan Powers' 79th-min third for Midwest proved the charm for the visitors. Cods stay 6th.
                    In the battle of 4th and 5th at the Bob Memorial Ground, hosts The Blomstrands had the most dramatic collapse of the day to lose to New Dresden and fall 3 points behind them. The home team led 2-0 through a Gustav Ølholt brace in the opening half-hour, only to promptly concede three in six minutes before even reaching the break. Tomas Kriegel sealed it for Dresden in the second half, making it 4-2 from only their fifth shot.
                    The only movement comes from Richmond Pride & Purpose, who move up to 7th ahead of Llandudno Jet Set who did not play on Monday. P&P faced Poplar Massive Crew in a clash of two winless sides, and it was they who pulled out their maiden OTF League victory to send the Pullman Park faithful home delighted (so he says). Rene Ross broke the deadlock soon after half-time, added another with 11 to play, then after a quick reply from the Crew it was Neal Callahan who ended Richmond's winter of discontent with the clincher two minutes from time. With a Thursday game against the Jet Set, it could be lift-off time now.

                    Division 2
                    And it's another clash of the top two, with the third tier's last 100% and unbeaten records both going as Athletico Deva were turned over at home by Brian Munchingflapjack, thanks to a 59th-min penalty from the Jacks' Ryan Marr. That leaves (left) both teams on 15 points, though Deva still lead (led) the way on GD by 3.
                    Another game settled from a deadball was Wednesday de la Zouch's win over Great Northern Railway. Astoundingly, GNR had two goals disallowed, ten minutes either side of half-time, which I didn't even think was possible as I'm convinced I've never seen it happen in 6 years playing this game. Somehow they didn't manage a legitimate shot otherwise, with Zouch dominating those 7 to 0 and finally nicking the win through Art Boshell's 77th-min freekick. Wednesday stay 3rd, two points off the lead, while the unlucky Railwaymen drop to 6th.
                    Heffron Hendecagon replace them in 4th after seeing off Pinewood Passers 2-0 at home with some clinical first-half finishing. Passers stay 9th.
                    OWC Albion also had things done and dusted by the interval, bagging three against Veni Vici Vigata to climb to 5th. The one dampener on the day for the home side was senior striker Ravioli Downpipe's nasty injury late on, though both sides ultimately finished with 10 after Iacob Leahu was sent off in the last minute. VVV remain 8th on GD.
                    Steaua Bridge steamed past Wharfedale Generals Youth 4-0 at Newell Carr Road to go just a goal behind GNR on GD in 7th.

                    Division 1
                    We had new leaders here on Monday, Hideous Towns, who saw off Eriskay Expression 3-1 at the Waveney Bowl sparked by teenage rookie Reine Röse's maiden strike in the 18th minute. Eriskay drop to 6th, while Hideous displace Whoft Fluffopolis at the summit after the latter suffered their first defeat of term at mercurial Banik Roystonov. Judging by how the latter have performed better lately when manager Janik does not turn up, one presumes he must have been hiding in a bunker somewhere hundreds of miles away because they utterly dominated the leaders – 60% of possession and 9 shots to 1. Povel Kafka's header just before half-time was the breakthrough, and Jean-Pierre Makanaky clinched the win on the hour. Banik are up to 4th.
                    Whoft drop to 3rd, as Rejects Redux also surged past thanks to a late comeback win at Kernow Kensa. The Cornishmen led from the 5th minute and the Rejects top striker Nathan Clist was stretchered off just before the break with a career-worst injury – yet a Redux side who scored just once in their opening 4 matches have suddenly found where the net is thanks to the previous Thursday's stroll against Nieuwegein Kneebiters Youth, and turned things around here thanks to Drew Chambers converting from a freekick routine then Stan Lupescu finding an 88th-minute winner. Kensa drop to 9th, unbeaten Rejects are two points behind new leaders Hideous.
                    Wensleydale Blues are also undefeated from 6, but drew for the fourth time against a Saltney Drawers side only a point below them. Cliff Promise had a goal for Saltney chalked off in the first half, but after Rhys Sedbergh put the Blues in front against the run of play on 76' it was Promise who came good with a last-minute piledriver to grab a deserved point for the visitors. Blues are down a place to 5th, Drawers stay 6th.
                    Up to 8th with their first win of the campaign are Locomotiv Noj, after easing past the youthful Nieuwegein Kneebiters at Parkhout. Noj took just 3 minutes to score and just 10 to lose important midfielder Loukas Tsiartsas to a nasty injury, but Newport Pagnell sealed the points soon afterwards. The 'Biters are now two points adrift at the bottom, a situation set to get worse on Thursday when they host(ed) Kensa immediately above them.

                    OTF
                    Croesoswallt Dragons are new leaders thanks to a 1-0 win at bottom side Great Ouse Town. Town midfielder Jim Arber got booked then stretchered off inside the first 9 minutes, then Vasili Gulko nodded the winner on the half-hour. Arber's brief cameo was however made to look like Ben-Hur ten minutes after the break when 23-year-old Dragons sub Tomislav Mujanovic came off the bench, ran to his place in defence, leapt two-footed into his first tackle and instantly received his marching orders, all within 1 minute flat. This helped make for a nervy second half for the visitors, but Parker Windsor's 75th-min effort for GOT was ruled out and that was the closest they got to a leveller. Ouse are now 3 points adrift at the bottom, Dragons go top by a point.
                    This was thanks to Vita Mortis surrendering the lead twice and with it top spot, in a 2-2 home draw with Four Candles. The sides exchanged goals midway through the first half, then again in the closing few minutes, before Mortis suffered a nasty additional sucker-punch when soon-to-retire defender Brjánn Daníelsson was carried off in stoppage time -- their second senior defender crocked in 11 days. Mortis drop to 2nd, Candles to 4th.
                    Moving up level on points with Mortis and into 3rd go Dandy Town, who dealt Csiki Monkeys a second straight defeat. Olli Brann gave the Dandies the lead with a freekick on 19' before hobbling off late in the first half, then on 76' 18-year-old debutant Olegário Braga made it a day to remember at the Stade Andy Liver by scoring the second. Monkeys captain Danijel Vukokevic was sent off for a second bookable offence in stoppage time, and Dong-guk Ohk made light of Brann's absence by hammering the resulting freekick past Urritz Arroyo to complete a 3-0 home win.
                    Zeugmaspor remain 5th and Rock City Ferrets 9th after an absorbing 1-1 between the pair at the Stade Belinda Carlisle. The pair both had goals ruled out in the first half, then exchanged legit ones inside 5 minutes midway through the second.
                    Ferrets remain a point behind both Berkshire Swine and Turd Division after those two also drew 1-1 at the Stef Tolsma Arena. Davy Watson notched on the stroke of half-time for Turds, but after their defence had held out without giving up a chance for 85 minutes they had the misfortune to concede a late penalty. Swine keeper Joost van Rijswijck trotted up from the other end and stuck the 5th goal of his career past floundering opposite number Jason Fish. Turds remain ahead of the Swine, and outside the relegation zone as a consequence, on their away record only.
                    Last edited by Various Artist; 28-02-2020, 00:54. Reason: Straightened out some tense issues. Tricky thing, writing from the perspective of before Thursday's games but in the knowledge that it wouldn't be read until after.

                    Comment


                      Thanks a lot VA, but just for the record Joost van Rijswijck doesn’t trot anywhere. He struts.

                      Comment


                        Thanks, VA. I really enjoyed that - and not just because we went top. I too thought two disallowed goals was not a thing. Back in the day when I watched games, I always felt confident celebrating a goal after we'd had one disallowed, safe in the knowledge that subsequent goals would count. It would have been quite a shock to have a second ruled out. Maybe the software's starting to fail.

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                          Cheers chaps. I should perhaps emphasise that I wasn't writing the above for two and a half hours solid – I went just past 5 and then, as I was still reviewing the top flight games from Monday but it was patently not going to be published before the new matches were played, and so an hour or two more didn't really matter at that stage, I dropped it for a bit and went off to do some more pressing other things before finishing this.


                          Glad it's not just me re: two disallowed goals for one team. Yes, if I'd been watching that and it was my team, I would have been absolutely thunderstruck to see the second one chalked off as well. I hope Joe's not taken it too badly, poor lad.

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                            I've just realised I mentioned contributions from both Rene Ross and Reine Röse. I trust a Richmond P&P v Hideous Towns friendly can be arranged in the next close-season to allow these two to share the pitch at least once...


                            Heh, I also see that after taking the unusual (for me) route of noting match timings with a ' symbol a couple of times to vary things a bit (and more importantly cut down on typing, fractionally), I somehow contrived to use this format for Wensleydale's goal on 76' and Dandy Town's goal on... 76'.
                            Last edited by Various Artist; 28-02-2020, 00:51.

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                              Bloody hell, I shouldn't have mentioned my defensive injuries. Only just looked at yesterday's result, and discovered we had another red cross – our current #2 defender (in theory, our #4), which reduces us to 2 fit defenders now, one of whom is 19. This is a full-blown injury crisis at this point, I think I can say.

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                                And it's the division's top scorers up next...

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                                  Yes, I noticed that with some trepidation! Amazingly, we've got the tightest defence right now, having only let in 3 to date, but the unfortunate fact is that number's still higher than the number of defenders I currently have available...

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                                    If you can get X11 to implement a loan system, I'll let you borrow one of my young defenders who's in need of development...

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                                      OTF Season 57 Round 7

                                      OTF
                                      Leaders Croesoswallt Dragons stay top after a 2-1 home win over Turd Division, who drop into the relegation places in 8th. The Dragons are still a point ahead of Vita Mortis, who were 1-0 winners at AFC Csiki Monkeys thanks to a late strike from Hank Hulme. The Monkeys slip to 7th. Zeugmaspor climb to 3rd with a 3-0 home win over Dandy Town, with Yunus Gürkan scoring twice more, taking the division's top scorer up to seven for the season. The Dandys fall below Berskhire Swine, who are up to 4th following a 3-1 win at Rock City Ferrets. All the goals came in the second half, with Swine half-time substitute Roberto Alkuaz making the difference, finding the target twice within 15 minutes of coming on. The Ferrets stay 9th but are now ahead of Great Ouse Town only on goal difference after Ouse were 2-0 winners at Four Candles, who fall to 6th.

                                      Division 1
                                      Hideous Towns remain two points clear at the top after a 3-2 win at Whoft Fluffopolis. Four of the goals came after the 78th minute, with teenage defender Tobias Mild among the goalscorers as Towns stretched their lead to 3-0 before Fluffopolis staged a fightback that wasn't quite enough to prevent a defeat that saw them fall to 4th. 2nd-placed Rejects Redux new-found love of scoring goals continued in a 4-1 victory at Eriskay Expression, who stay in 7th. Banik Roystonov moved into the third promotion spot after a goalless draw at Saltney Drawers, who lived up to their name against the run of play even after the sending-off of captain Bentley Kenneth. The Drawers remain in 6th, just below Wensleydale Blues, who are still unbeaten but who have now drawn five from seven after failing to make their dominance count in a 1-1 draw at Locomotiv Noj. Despite picking up that point, Noj drop to 9th below Kernow Kensa, who won 3-0 at Nieuwegein Kneebiters Nursery.

                                      Division 2
                                      Athletico Deva bounced back from Monday's defeat, winning 3-0 at Veni Vici Vigata, who drop to 9th, and stretching their lead at the top, with the clash between the two teams below them, Brian Munchingflapjack and Wednesday de la Zouch, ending goalless. The Flapjacks stay second but Wednesday, who will have been disappointed not to win on the balance of play, slip to 4th, overtaken by Heffron Hendecagon, 4-0 winners at basement-dwellers Wharfedale Generals, where Horace Godden scored twice in the first ten minutes. OWC Albion, in 5th, closed in on the promotion places with a 2-0 win at Steaua Bridge, Buck Aneering-Hedda setting them on the way to victory with a header the buccaneering qualities of which remain unreported. Steaua are 7th, sandwiched between Great Northern Railway and Pinewood Passers, who drew 1-1 at The Clump.

                                      Division 3
                                      The top two stamped their authority on the division with victories over the teams in 3rd and 4th. Two goals from Wesley Greaves, now the division's leading scorer, gave leaders Hampshire Deers a 2-1 home win over New Dresden, while die Ambosse recorded a comfortable 3-0 success at Eintracht Midwest. Up to 5th go Cods of War after spanking bottom side Poplar Massive Crew 7-1, with Kalid Yarza, Fareed Badur and Albert Haressa each scoring twice. Christopher Fairney also bagged a brace as Llandudno Jet Set beat Richmond P&P 4-0 to move above them into 7th place. The Blomstrands were the team taking a rest and they dropped to 6th.
                                      Last edited by Hot Orange; 01-03-2020, 11:03.

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                                        Excellent work, thanks HO.

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                                          Thanks HO. Dandy Town are looking very inconsistent right now. A decent 3-0 win against Csiki Monkeys had us up to third and one point off the top, but then we follow that up with a 3-0 drubbing at Zeugma that sent us right back to mid-table, and we now have four tricky games coming up with ties against Rock City Ferrets either side of the Mortis double header.

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                                            Over at Pulau Pinang we got tired of waiting for the youth system to give us a decent midfielder, and with a second leg cup tie approaching with a 4-0 first leg advantage I wanted a player in in time to give him a full 90 minutes. We got 19/6 Pepe Argenso for just over 700k, and his all round square came with additional cussing, cone and cockhead. The YA has now given us a midfielder with bulb, oscar and headers, but is only a 19/4. I've brought him into the squad but only to see if we can get a fee for him.

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                                              Framley Obstreporous are the Heineken League team of the month. Hurrah!!

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                                                Ooh, well done Foxy! Royal Atlantis were chasing you after our recent revival, but despite an away win at the league leaders Sixfields Saints on Friday we have to settle for 3rd.

                                                United Underground have started the season well but were chasing a big lead held by Titans Ten due to their playoffs success at the end of the season just gone, so TotM in MLX was a bit of a writeoff alas. We drew 3-3 with Quisquiliae on Friday (I've just discovered) in a Kev Cup tie we were 3-0 ahead in from the first leg – like Sean I could've done with a midfield youngster to blood in the second leg, having only had a 17/3 through recently I don't think it's worth featuring. Then last night our 3.5* academy, still floundering after being cut off at the knees investment-wise last season, coughed up a 17/4 with FK and Horse! Result.


                                                Oh, and after not having realised we were in the race, Vita Mortis are the OTF League team of the month. Hurrah!

                                                Apparently we also won November's, which I'd entirely forgotten, though it looks to have been one of those months where not a lot of games were played as we did so having amassed only seventeen-point-something ToTM points. Having won the previous December's too, that's 3 in 15 months, more than doubling our total from the previous 5 years – when we won both March and April 2017 but none before or afterwards.

                                                We beat Hampshire Deers into second in their inaugural month, which feels a little graceless after lambers' kind offer of a defensive loan. In answer to your comment, by the way, there's no loan system per se in the game but I gather managers have been known to organise it between themselves by arranging a transfer for a nominal fee then transferring back again in due course. You have to keep a signing for at least a month before they're eligible for selling on again however, so it's not possible to do a truly short-term 'loan'.

                                                I often wish it were possible to arrange such loans between one's own teams, too. Many's the time one of my clubs will have a surfeit in one department while others on my roster are struggling to find any decent players in that area.

                                                Not that that's the case with my roster at the moment, it must be said, where quality defenders and defensive numbers overall are generally thin on the ground. Ironically, Mortis would have one of the more solid defensive units were it not for our current injury ravaging. Their female counterparts at Sandringham Park had to promote a vanilla 19/5 Lady Georgiana Stopp-Gap to do exactly what it says on her tin, after an injury to one of our senior defenders there (must be something in the water in northwest Norfolk at the moment) – having sold the 'surplus' Raquel Welch-Rarebytt days earlier in an unfortunate act of hubris, albeit a remunerative one.
                                                Last edited by Various Artist; 01-03-2020, 15:59.

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                                                  Glad to see from HO's fine and fat-free reportage there that Buck Aneering-Hedda is scoring appropriately, by the way. I do hope he's got the Headers skill.

                                                  On that note, there's a whole subset of player names I've been waiting but unable to use so far because I still haven't had youths with the right SQs come through; Royal Atlantis for instance have a squad of medieval Scandinavian and English monarchs, but Edward (I) Longshanks has yet to put in an appearance because he clearly needs to have the Speedy SQ, like our current defender Harold Harefoot does. Sandringham likewise have to wait for one of these before our putative Agatha Linford-Christie can appear in the squad, whilst Anastasia Devine-Wisdom had probably better be Intelligent and it'll obviously have to be an Injury-Prone youth who gets monikered Lady Imogen Stubbs-Foot. I imagine I'm alone in this pernickityness.

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                                                    I think I would opt for Vera Linford-Christie myself...and I had to google Anastasia Devine and now wished I hadn't....

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