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X11 season 45 - de rigueur Mortis

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    Sans Culottes are suffering from a combination of our golden generation all retiring and a ridiculously tough schedule - we have played all the top 5 plus seventh in our six games so far.

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      Strange series of happenstance occurrences this morning have led me to an interesting observation that might pique the attention of some of you here too.

      I just logged into X11 and found a green envelope icon by Viking South Utsira's name, which turned out to be a random event with a minor windfall of econs last night. While I was there I spotted a comment on my most recent VSU press release from yesterday, so replied to that, then for some reason I clicked on the 'All' tab – which I would never normally do with the press area in somewhere like the official leagues where there's hundreds of managers I don't know. And there, posted about three and a half hours ago, I couldn't help but notice the third most recent PR in the Xpert Ladies happens to be from a Division 4o team named Hearts of Oakland.

      "That's a funny coincidence," I thought, but figured the name must come from a real-life team who someone else has serendipitously also used for X11. So I clicked through to read the PR, to find it's both well-written and amusing. "Hmmm, surely not," I think, and click through to the manager Keegan Bielsa's profile, which turns out to belong to a manager in Noord-Holland who's been on X11 for just over a year and has four clubs in private leagues, three of which are ones I've never heard of.

      His official men's team, though, is a Division 6 Pro League side, called... Manila Sunbeams.

      And if that's a coincidence, then I'm, well, a Dutchman.

      Comment


        So this contract was purely incidental you say? Yep, you're Hans van Breukelen aicmfp.

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          Hehe. That's true, you can't write incidental contact without "coincident".

          I fanned Hearts of Oakland this morning, though hesitated for a bit first as can't be entirely sure how IC might react to a sudden pile-on. Great to see he's OK out there and enjoying X11 though, by the look of it. Has been reliably producing PRs week-in, week-out despite a total lack of other voices in his division.

          Comment


            Anyway, meanwhile it's the
            OTF League roundup for 17th February: Season 58 round 4
            Division 3
            Hampshire Deers march on at the head of the fourth tier with their fourth consecutive victory, a comfortable 2-0 away at Richmond Pride & Purpose who remain 7th. P&P are, after 4 games, the sole team still waiting to score their maiden OTF league goal.
            Having no such problems are die Ambosse, who have hit 14 in just three outings so far. The Anvils, as manager Andrew7610 has already pointed out, are in fact the top scorers in the whole league after hammering New Dresden 5-0 at Netzer Park when the hosts' boss Foot of Astaire's unfortunately failed to turn up for the occasion. Striker Davide Planceret hit a hat-trick, though midfielder Hans-Peter Böemen was unlucky to get injured late on after setting up two. Dresden's first league defeat not only costs them 2nd spot to Ambosse, but drops them to 4th behind non-movers The Blomstrands on goals scored – despite the latter losing 5-2 at Cods of War!
            Cods' first win also does not shift them from 6th, due to Eintracht Midwest's 3-2 win over Llandudno Jet Set at the Isaac Bradley Memorial, which keeps Midwest 5th.
            The Jet Set were unlucky to suffer a 4th straight loss, after mounting a fierce second-half comeback from 3-0 down, though their goals at least hold them off the bottom of the table above Poplar Massive Crew (who sat the day out) on away goals scored. The pair meet tomorrow in Llandudno, so something has to give!

            Division 2
            All change at the top, after the clash of two of the three 100% teams went Athletico Deva's way. Despite dominating leaders Heffron Hendecagon 11 shots to 1 at the Enormodome, it took a penalty and freekick midway through the second half for Deva to overcome the Aussies 3-1 and dethrone them from the summit.
            Except, wait, here come Brian Munchingflapjack, who grabbed two later goals to win 3-0 at home to Steaua Bridge and sneak past to head the table from Deva by one goal. Steaua remain 7th.
            Heffron are knocked down all the way to 4th, as Great Northern Railway's late second in a 2-0 win at OWC Albion lifts them ahead to 3rd by a single goal. GNR host Deva next in an intriguing clash.
            There was also a battle of two of the three teams on 0%, which emphatically ended in Veni Vici Vigata's favour as they swept Wharfedale Generals aside 3-0 at home. They are now just a goal behind Steaua but remain 8th for now. The pair meet tomorrow, at the Steaua Grapes (!) stadium…
            …as will the pair below them, at the Theatre of Pies. 9th-placed Pinewood Passers are still pointless, but widened the GD gap between them and bottom club Generals after being unlucky to go down 1-0 at home to Wednesday de la Zouch. Arlindo Flumnio's early strike proved enough for Wednesday, who stay 5th, even though the Passers had the better of the game despite midfield star Baldomero Ponton being carried off after half an hour.

            Division 1
            Whoft Fluffopolis still lead the way after a day of generally close results in the second tier. Their visitors Locomotiv Noj had 60% possession but were edged out 2-1 at Javier Perez de Cuellar P[-arade? -lace? -ark? -avilions? -ower Stadium?], lifting the Fluffers two points clear at the summit and keeping Noj winless in 9th.
            Hideous Towns remain 2nd but lose ground after a grim 0-0 at 5th-placed Rejects Redux, who seem to be channelling their predecessors Bournemouth Rejects properly now: after four games they are 1-3-0 1-0. The only notable happening at the not inaptly-named Criminal Court was a nasty assault on In Sang Youk that will put the Hideous defender on the shelf for a bit.
            The fourth unbeaten side in the division are Wensleydale Blues, who go 3rd and draw level with Hideous after snatching a stoppage-time 2-1 win over Eriskay Expression at the Sheep Dip. The unlucky Scots fall 3rd to 7th as a result of the defeat.
            One of those taking advantage is Banik Roystonov, despite manager Janik not actually showing up for Monday's home game with Kernow Kensa – which, considering this was at Moje Zahrada (if I remember correctly, 'My Garden'), is some going. It appears though he was frustrated enough by their lacklustre start to employ this radical experimental tactic, and it paid off as they mugged Kensa 2-0 despite being outshot 2-4. The luckless Cornishmen remain winless in 8th, while Banik climb to 4th.
            Also bypassing Expression on GD to go 6th are Saltney Drawers, thanks to the second of two late goals in an unconvincing 2-0 home win over Nieuwegein Kneebiters Youth. A rather flat atmosphere at the Wales-England Border was finally enlivened by Clem Fandango – who set up both – cupping his ear to the fans behind the home net, who responded with a vigorous chorus of "Yes, we can hear you Clem Fandango". The 'Biters are now 0-0-4 0-14 and next visit the Rejects, which promises the thrilling sight of a stoppable force meeting a movable object.

            OTF
            Speaking of riveting excitement, top-flight leaders Vita Mortis were held 0-0 at the Hollows by a career-best performance from Berkshire Swine goalie Joost van Rijswick, extending a 15-month sequence between the pair that has now gone 0-0, 1-0, 1-1, 0-0, 0-0, 0-0, 1-1, 0-0, 1-2(!!), 1-1, 1-0, 0-0 to keep binary enthusiasts rapt but casual fans comatose. The Swine are still winless, but a third draw from four lifts them to 8th on GD.
            AFC Csiki Monkeys also drew their way up to 2nd, coming back from an early deficit to visitors Rock City Ferrets to make it 1-1 midway through the opening half before shutting up shop. Key Monkeys defender Vince Molnár getting a career-worst-equalling fortnight's injury late on took the shine off things however: the 33-year-old star had set up the equaliser, after supplying a gold-medal-winning 9 assists last season to help his team to the D1 title. The Ferrets are the second and last winless side at this early stage, and are now a point adrift at the bottom.
            Clash of the day came at the Stade Andy Liver, where the OTF's two most successful clubs of all-time met with a combined total of 25 league titles between them. And it was visitors and reigning champs Croesoswallt Dragons who derailed 13-time champions Dandy Town's successful return to the top tier with a fine 2-0 win, Vasili Gulko putting them ahead with a 6th-minute solo effort and Idris Mawr clinching it before the interval; neither side could muster a shot after the break. That knocked the previously undefeated Dandies from 2nd down to 4th, with the Dragons promoted ahead of them to 3rd on GD. Leaders Mortis visit Croesoswallt tomorrow.
            New top scorers in the highest tier though are Turd Division, after a ruthless four-goal blast in the second half blew away visitors Great Ouse Town 4-0 at the Snoop, despite total shots being only 5 to 4. Ouse drop to 9th behind the Swine on GD, though they host them tomorrow at Blue Fen.
            Between these three, Four Candles and Zeugmaspor fought out an entertaining 2-2 draw at Hurlingham Park. Candles led late in the first half through Matteo de Angelo, Zeugma's Carl-Phillip Frederiksson levelled straight after the break and grabbed what looked like a winner in the 86th minute, only for Scott Irons to pull the hosts out of the fire with an equaliser three minutes into stoppage time. It was only the 4th goal of the experienced defender's 208-game career.
            Last edited by Various Artist; 19-02-2020, 16:43.

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              Originally posted by ad hoc View Post
              Hmmm. Just when i thought the announcements had improved...
              I see your shit announcement and I raise you this one:

              Walton Winter goes out partying with a few other players, and after several beers ends up kissing a hot girl. He discovers during the course of the encounter that it is in fact a man. The other players cannot help telling the rest of the team, and he is a laughingstock at training the next day. Even though he persuades them to keep it out of the press, he is humiliated and his form drops as a result.

              Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck you X11.

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                Are we reporting these to the moderators when we get them? I try to if I can.

                On the subject of Incidental Contact (later Sexual Chocolate), good spot VA and it’s indeed nice to know he’s OK. Let me know if you get any response to supporting him. He was a tough adversary in the OTF league.

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                  I came here to vent first of all, but good point Sits - how would I go about doing that?

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                    Somewhere in the top menu I think. I usually message Daisy_D who's a moderator and whose league I've played in before.

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                      Originally posted by Various Artist View Post
                      cupping his ear to the fans behind the home net, who responded with a vigorous chorus of "Yes, we can hear you Clem Fandango".
                      This made me giggle at length, well done.

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                        Originally posted by Various Artist View Post
                        Cupping his ear to the fans behind the home net, who responded with a vigorous chorus of "Yes, we can hear you Clem Fandango".
                        Well spotted - I named all the team after characters from 'Toast of London'.

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                          Excellent stuff VA (and HO and Janik) - Javier Perez de Cuellar P[-arade? -lace? -ark? -avilions? -ower Stadium?], unfortunately the character limitations won't allow the full name to be displayed. The naming standard of using Secretary-Generals of the UN will therefore be ditched by the Framley Collective and be replaced by famous cricketers who played for Leicestershire in the 1970's.

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                            I've now got a full squad of 23 in the Xpert Ladies, just before the transfer deadline. They've arrived with development values of 9 or 10. I've closed the academy down to save money and might use this transfer route instead. I'll have have another clearance of players at the start of next season as this strategy has given me an overblown squad.

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                              Originally posted by Janik View Post
                              I clean forgot to pick Banik's team and tactics this morning. Banik then promptly won (and scored) for the first time in three games. Not sure quite how to react to that...
                              Originally posted by Various Artist View Post
                              There's a moral there somewhere, indeed...
                              Hand back on the tiller today. We got absolutely smashed, 3-0 and it could have been much worse.

                              Certain conclusions are becoming harder and harder to avoid.

                              Comment


                                Originally posted by Various Artist View Post
                                Strange series of happenstance occurrences this morning have led me to an interesting observation that might pique the attention of some of you here too.

                                I just logged into X11 and found a green envelope icon by Viking South Utsira's name, which turned out to be a random event with a minor windfall of econs last night. While I was there I spotted a comment on my most recent VSU press release from yesterday, so replied to that, then for some reason I clicked on the 'All' tab – which I would never normally do with the press area in somewhere like the official leagues where there's hundreds of managers I don't know. And there, posted about three and a half hours ago, I couldn't help but notice the third most recent PR in the Xpert Ladies happens to be from a Division 4o team named Hearts of Oakland.

                                "That's a funny coincidence," I thought, but figured the name must come from a real-life team who someone else has serendipitously also used for X11. So I clicked through to read the PR, to find it's both well-written and amusing. "Hmmm, surely not," I think, and click through to the manager Keegan Bielsa's profile, which turns out to belong to a manager in Noord-Holland who's been on X11 for just over a year and has four clubs in private leagues, three of which are ones I've never heard of.

                                His official men's team, though, is a Division 6 Pro League side, called... Manila Sunbeams.

                                And if that's a coincidence, then I'm, well, a Dutchman.
                                I have read this post many times, have Googled Keegan Bielsa and read through to the fourth page of hits, andtried to work out what's surprising about "hearts of Oakland". No, I give up. What's the coincidence?

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                                  They are team names used previously by Incidental Contact, a former OTF league player

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                                    In hindsight, we should probably have clarified!

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                                      Sorry Pebble, I wasn't being cryptic there for the sake of it, honest. I was just seeing if any of those who remember Incidental Contact's teams jumped to the same conclusion as I did. He ran the always-competitive Red Star Oakland in the OTF, and for at least a period (around 5 years ago) also had among other teams a Hearts of Oakland in the Xpert Zone(?) and a Manila Sunbeams in the upper reaches of the Heineken League.

                                      He vanished from these boards, where he was latterly known as Sexual Chocolate, some considerable time back – though a good while afterwards I happened to serendipitiously spot an unfamiliar yet oddly 'IC-ish' username thread-hanging very briefly, when the boards showed you who was viewing each thread, and somehow surmised it might be him... correctly, as it turned out. My comment provoked a few others from various longer-term members of this thread. The mystery user surfaced long enough to say hello, yes it was him, thanks to everyone for caring enough to voice their hopes that he was OK, things had changed a lot in real life but he was all right, yet he was now going to vanish again entirely. Which he did. So I was greatly taken by surprise to see these familiar-looking team names in X11 again the other day!

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                                        Did he respond to you fanning him?

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                                          No, alas. He might've forgotten who I am, mind, although to be fair his official men's side (whose name will come back to me in a bit) were one of the few Ultimate League OTF teams along with Etienne and myself, and therefore he crossed paths with my Viking North Utsire – and hence being fanned by my Viking South Utsira women's side might cause a bell to ring even if my username doesn't. But I suspect though that he's simply preferring to keep things at arm's length, which is fair enough.

                                          VSU have been fanned by lambers' Rising Stars, though – they're playing in Div 6:3 if Janik's feeling hardcore enough to want to add another OTFer to his Xpert Ladies roundups...!

                                          Comment


                                            Originally posted by Sits View Post
                                            Somewhere in the top menu I think. I usually message Daisy_D who's a moderator and whose league I've played in before.
                                            So Daisy's in your league, huh? </terrible X11 sexist joke>

                                            Comment


                                              Originally posted by Various Artist View Post
                                              VSU have been fanned by lambers' Rising Stars, though – they're playing in Div 6:3 if Janik's feeling hardcore enough to want to add another OTFer to his Xpert Ladies roundups...!
                                              Only after you fanned me VA! I was planning on fanning the fellow OTFers in Xpert Ladies, but err... got distracted by the history of the Vikings. I finally did get round to adding a load of teams today, only to realise after about ten that only three had worked due to VIP limits...

                                              Janik, don't feel obliged to add me to reports unless you really are feeling 'hardcore'. The Stars have nothing to play for in the final two games despite my initial thought (and press release) that they were in danger of relegation. I've since realised that there isn't a division below that they can drop into! If further proof was needed that I still have a lot to learn about X11...

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                                                OTF Season 57 Round 5

                                                OTF
                                                It's as tight as a very tight thing in the top flight, with all of the top seven having won two of their first five games. The only team with a zero in the losses column is Vita Mortis, who thus stay top after a cagey 0-0 draw at Croesoswallt Dragons, which saw the defending champions move up to 2nd. Climbing to 3rd are Four Candles, for whom Rauli Tuulasvaara's scored a late winner in their home game with Dandy Town shortly after the visitors' sub Lincoln Balshaw had been sent off for collecting two bookings in 14 minutes. The Dandies drop to 6th. AFC Csiki Monkeys are down to 4th after losing their unbeaten record in spectacular fashion, going down 5-1 at Zeugmaspor, who are now 5th. The Monkeys had plenty of the game, but couldn't match Zeugma's finishing, with Yunus Gürkan rattling in a hat-trick that took him to 100 career goals. Turd Division slip to 7th after a 2-0 home defeat by Rock City Ferrets, whose first victory of the season lifted them off the bottom and up to 9th. Great Ouse Town now prop up the table after a 2-1 home defeat by Berkshire Swine, who remain in 8th - in the relegation places and three points off the top.

                                                Division 1
                                                Whoft Fluffopolis retain the lead but were held to a goalless draw by Wensleydale Blues. Visitors Wensleydale are still unbeaten but drop to 4th. Hideous Towns stay 2nd but are back level on points with Fluffopolis after a 1-0 home win over Kernow Kensa, the decisive goal turned into his own net by Kernow midfielder Arthur Cooper immediately after half-time. Rejects Redux are in 3rd following their 3-0 win at home to Nieuwegein Kneebiters U19s, who are unlikely to vacate bottom place any time soon. A point behind the unbeaten top four are Eriskay Expression, comfortable 3-0 winners at home to Banik Roystonov, who drop to 7th. Between them in 6th are Saltney Drawers who won 3-1 at Locomotiv Noj, with Axel Jacklin scoring twice. Noj are in 9th and are, along with Kernow and the Kneebiters, part of a bottom three that is in danger of being cut off from the rest.

                                                Division 2
                                                There was a surprise at The Green, where leaders Brian Munchingflapjack's 100% record fell to OWC Albion, with Noah Tremble leaving the home fans shaken as he scored twice to help the visitors to a 3-0 win. Albion's reward for their impressive win was to stay 6th. Moving ahead of the Flapjacks to the top are Athletico Deva, who stretched their perfect start to five wins from five, taking advantage of Tommy McConville's first-half dismissal to score three times after the break for a 3-0 win at Great Northern Railway, who fall to 4th as a result. Wednesday de la Zouch move into the promotion places in 3rd thanks to another 3-0 victory, theirs coming at home to Heffron Hendecagon. All the goals came in the first half, allowing Wednesday not to bother with the second. Heffron slip to 5th. The bottom four played each other and Steaua Bridge opened up a three-point gap to the bottom three with their first goals and points since the opening day coming in a 2-1 home win over 8th-placed Veni Vici Vigata, two direct free kicks from skipper Anton Dochianu proving the difference. In the clash between the bottom two, Pinewood Passers got off the mark for the season with a 2-0 home win over the youthful and pointless Wharfedale Generals.

                                                Division 3
                                                Home wins all the way here and Hampshire Deers stay top with a 3-0 success over Cods of War. The Deers have won all five so far, while the Cods are in 6th. Die Ambosse also have a 100% record - and a remarkable 20-1 goal difference - after four games following a 6-0 thrashing of The Blomstrands, with Berndt Scilacci and Davide Placeret each on target twice. The Blomstrands drop to 5th, below the inactive New Dresden, while die Ambosse are 2nd ahead of Monday's showdown with the Deers. Eintracht Midwest move into the promotion places with a 3-0 win over Richmond P&P, who were hampered by the sending-off Toby Gregory, an injury to Sebastian Gorham and an absent manager. Richmond fall to one from bottom, ahead of Poplar Massive Crew, another team struggling after being left to get on with things by their manager. Crew went down 6-0 at Llandudno Jet Set, Lucas Cranmore proving the star of the show with two goals and two assists. Jet Set's first win lifts them up to 7th.
                                                Last edited by Hot Orange; 23-02-2020, 15:09.

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                                                  Great work HO, thanks.

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                                                    X11 Ladies Season 57 Matchday 12 report.


                                                    Code:
                                                    Division 2b
                                                    
                                                    
                                                    Gastele                 2 - 0   Drakaina
                                                    Diarra 80'
                                                    Luengo 89'
                                                    
                                                    
                                                    Division 3e
                                                    
                                                    BV Cloppenburg          2 - 1   Viking South Utsira
                                                    Starke 1', 35'                  E.Klovning 77'
                                                    
                                                    
                                                    Division 4i
                                                    
                                                    Coxy Ladies Wulpen      2 - 0   Dial L for Ladies
                                                    Wostijn 11'
                                                    Kabasele 79'
                                                    
                                                    
                                                    Division 5:1
                                                    
                                                    FC Dench Ladies         3 - 0   Bombay Green Rockets
                                                    Markkula 16', 44'
                                                    Ulfbåge 58'
                                                    
                                                    AK Heartbreakerz        0 - 1   Invincible Shaolin
                                                                                    Allwood 80'
                                                    
                                                    
                                                    Division 5:16
                                                    
                                                    Watergate Bay Surfers   2 - 1   LNWR Locomotive
                                                    de Seeveryns 64', 68'           Diana 89'
                                                    
                                                    
                                                    Division 5:19
                                                    
                                                    Murcielago              3 - 1   Ullapool Northern Star
                                                    Galvão 14'                      Mair 80'
                                                    Sand 87'
                                                    Darawan 91'
                                                    
                                                    
                                                    Division 5:21
                                                    
                                                    Bombastic Girls         0 - 1   Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC
                                                                                    Borot 80'
                                                    
                                                    
                                                    Division 5:32
                                                    
                                                    Csiki Girls             1 - 3   Golden Pride
                                                    Neaves 22'                      Feeney 17'
                                                                                    Stirling 36'
                                                                                    Dudley 52'
                                                    
                                                    
                                                    Division 6:3
                                                    
                                                    Rising Stars            4 - 0   Stattena IF
                                                    Sinclair 18', 34'
                                                    Colin 66'
                                                    Giampà 68'
                                                    
                                                    
                                                    Division 6:20
                                                    
                                                    Solent Sirens           2 - 0   Clockwork Oranje
                                                    Abbiati 75'
                                                    Stieglecker 82'
                                                    
                                                    
                                                    Division 6:34
                                                    
                                                    Invisible Ladies        5 - 1   The Modern Lepers
                                                    Nádasdy 36', 61', 88'           Fabianowska 7'
                                                    Crouch 55'
                                                    Clark 81'
                                                    
                                                    
                                                    Division 6:43
                                                    
                                                    Hazeldean Inchmistress  3 - 0   Lilywhite Ladies
                                                    Dekoninck 29'
                                                    Bringevik 36'
                                                    Di Vaio 88'
                                                    
                                                    
                                                    Division 6:53
                                                    
                                                    Ultra Violet LMW        0 - 3   Zeugma Dostluk Spor
                                                                                    Kurt 18'
                                                                                    Neil 47', 68'
                                                    
                                                    
                                                    Division 6:56
                                                    
                                                    FR Timmer               1 - 2   Menywod Maeshafn
                                                    Marian 67'                      Kjellberg 70'
                                                                                    Westerberg 89'

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