X11 season 45 - de rigueur Mortis

[Sits]

Thanks DM, do what you've got to do and focus on what's (really) important.

[nmrfox]

Agreed. DM hopefully we'll see you back in those leagues at some point. Best wishes.

[wiblflibl]

Yeah all the best DM!

The YA at my Educated Apes team has given me 2x 17/4 MFs and a 16/3 MF this month (2nd, 11th and 19th) and all three sold today for a combined total of e5.4 million. Which is a welcome boost to the coffers indeed.

[Etienne]

Look after yourself Ms Moth.

Absolute scenes in OTF today.

[Various Artist]

Damn shame DM, but yes I hope you're OK, first and foremost. There'll always be a place in the Brythonnic for you as long as I'm running it.

[nmrfox]

The-reverend decided that AFC Harford would try to bludgeon their way in trying to upset Whoft for the first time this season. Sadly for Harford the H8 ref saw through their bruise tactics and booked 7 and sent off 1 of the visitors as Fluffopolis limped through to a 4-1 win.

[Etienne]

So, against the odds, Hornville take the title race to the last day, three points behind the Dandies. Only problem, Dandy Town have to lose and they face the Csiki Monkeys - yet to beat Dandy Town in 33 meetings. Can they finally break their duck Vitas Gerulaitis style? Bogey teams can be overcome. Look at Amwythig vs Zeugmaspor:
First 30 meetings Amwythig 4-7-19
Last 9 meetings Amwythig 6-2-1

[SouthdownRebel]

We've also got to overhaul the goal difference deficit, so it's highly unlikely even if we win our last match and Dandy Town lose theirs, which is far from guaranteed. I was anticipating second season syndrome, not second place, so I'm more than happy whatever the outcome.

[Sean of the Shed]

Yeah, I went for full on DV points at Turds and it seems to have bit me in the ass. Looks like I'll have to take the Csiki Monkeys a bit more seriously to confirm the title.

[Janik]

X11 Ladies Season 52, Matchday 9 report.

Division 1a

Viking South Utsira	0 - 1	Spearwives of Ygritte
				Lax 72'


Division 4i

PVFC Ladies 		1 - 2	Drakaina
Ormelio 84'			Gitsis 30', 51'

Division 4p

Csiki Girls		1 - 0	Vasas Femina
Gränsmark (pen) 88'


Division 5:16

Nutless Rats 		0 - 4	Erbil
				Levein 7', 24'
				Granå 49'
				Bullock 61'


Division 5:17

San Francisco 9ers	1 - 2 	LNWR Locomotive
Glyt 45'			Nixon 37'
				Vilhena 55'


Division 5:18

Angel Delights FC 	0 - 0	Coxy Ladies Wulpen


Division 5:19

Ullapool Northern Star	0 - 2	Lascelles
				Gonçalves 1'
				Mikkelsson 55'


Division 5:21

Liverpool Girls 	0 - 1	Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC
				Prins 79'


Division 5:27

Azeda Girls F.C. 	0 - 0	Zeugma Dostluk Spor


Division 5:29

Dublin City WFC		1 - 1	Malta
Kåmark 10'			Rosebotham 36'

Menywod Maeshafn	1 - 1	... because Girls Can
Westerberg 74'			Langner 18'


Division 6:40

Magnificent Ladies 	1 - 4	Sockford Emollient
Finnan 26'			Batistuta 5', 59', 68'
				Mullins 42'


Division 6:41

Ipswich Town Ladies 	0 - 4	Invisible Ladies
				Paul 57', 76', 90'
				Coles 62'


Division 6:42

MSV Duisburg Damen 	4 - 2	Solent Sirens
Galanopoulos 13'		de Beauvoir 8'
Manfield 57', 87'		Stieglecker 65'
Jungmann 91'

Riverbankers FC		0 - 2	Rotnäset BK
				Payne 38'
				Carmo 84'
				Lindh (sent off) 89'

Witches of Chiswick	0 - 3	Tagalog Ladys
				Idmayanti 23'
				Macatuna 27'
				Hildingsson 78'

Viking South Utsira’s chances of reaching the top flight this season were beginning to fade prior to the Spearwives of Ygritte.
Velvet Android’s side fought hard in the match, but despite the perspiration produced found themselves pushed slightly on to the defensive rather than threatening the Spearwives castle. Viking’s home haven was secure though, up until the 72nd minute when the Spearwives struck. Heidi Hovland thought she had drawn her side level eight minutes later, somewhat against the run of play, but the cheers died in Blood Eagles fans throats as Al Beback ruled the strike out.
Defeat leaves fifth-placed VSU nine points off the Division 1a play-off place, which, with five games to go is surely too big a gap to close. More relevantly the advantage over the drop zone is just four points.

The title race in Division 4i is as tight as it could possibly be, with Drakaina kicking off their match at PVFC Ladies sitting second only on goals scored, and by just one of those at that.
One might say that every goal matters, and it does but every point matters rather more. So Elena Gitsis’ header on 30 minutes and breakaway strike on 51 were both vital contributions to The Dragons cause. Etienne’s side merited those two strikes and could conceivably have added another one or two, but couldn’t quite find the finishing touch again. And then they were hit by one back, making the focus for the last few minutes preserving the three points rather than running up the score.
That was comfortably achieved, but not enough to move Drakaina top as 4i leaders Gretna Girls also won, in their case 2-0. So the gap opens marginally to +1 GD. Third placed Busby Babes are four points back.

A vital match in the Division 4p relegation battle pitted Csiki Girls against Vasas Femina.
The sides sat next to each other in the table at kick-off, but did have something between them; the relegation line. Csiki Girls were the team on the wrong side of it, but that wasn’t what a neutral observer would have guessed from how the play panned out as ad hoc’s side dominated proceedings. However they did so whilst lacking a goal until Travis Tee pointed to the spot in the 88th minute. A huge moment like this calls for an experienced head, and that is what the Csiki’s turned out as skipper Emelie Gränsmark took responsibility. Good choice.
The timing of the goal left Vasas no time to recover, as the sides swapped places in the 4pm table. Csiki Girls are now above the line of doom by a point.

Erbil had found Nutless Rats tough to crack on Matchday 6, despite sitting at the top of the table whilst the Rats were fighting desperately to avoid relegation. And that was at Erbil, so things would be even tougher away from home, right?
Well not if Jdsx’s girls has anything to do with it. This time, everything flowed from Leslie Levein’s 7th minute opener onwards. That was scored with a long range shot, a trick Levein repeated on 24 minutes to give Erbil a comfortably cushion. Sabina Granå notched a third on 49 minutes, and Sharyn Bullock wrapped up the scoring for the day on 61 as Erbil cruised to the sort of straightforward win that had been expected in the previous match.
There was also good news from elsewhere in Division 5:16 for Erbil as second-placed side Allstar 002 lost at home. That has left Erbil with a two point gap at the top of the table.

All aboard the LNWR Locomotive promotion express!
The Steamers led the way in Division 5:17 prior to their excursion to the Bay Area to take on San Francisco 9ers. Locomotive were making progress through most of the first half without stations hoving into view as expected, i.e. possession wasn’t being turned into many chances [sorry, that was quite convoluted]. The first opportunity of the period did eventually materialise on 37 minutes and Charlotte Nixon snaffled it up greedily.
A red light was up ahead as Frisco levelled on the stroke of half-time. This proved to be a brief hold up for Viktor Boskovic’s side however as Corália Vilhena restored their advantage on 55 minutes. And from there on it was all downhill to the end of the line, allowing LNWR to freewheel home.
The win keeps The Steamers top, but as second-placed Watergate Bay Surfers also won their advantage remains just three points.

Coxy Ladies Wulpen took their strong recent form to struggling Angel Delights FC.
If the travelling Waders fans expected an easy afternoon for their girls given the circumstances of the two teams they were swiftly disabused as the hosts proved stubborn. Very stubborn. Wulpen managed just one chance in the first half and none after the break.
They didn’t give up an opportunity either, but that meant Coxy Ladies had to settle for a draw which could be regarded as two points dropped. It also saw Janik’s side slip to three points behind the leaders and two off the play-off spot whilst remaining third in Division 5:18.

Ullapool Northern Star were looking to build on excellent back-to-back draws with the league leaders when they took on Lascelles.
The chances for Ullapool getting something out of the game took a blow within seconds of the start when Lascelles took the lead. That appeared to knock something of the stuffing out of Northern Star, who only managed to create one chance in the 90 minutes which was not converted and even if it had been would not have been enough to match Lascelles who struck again on 55 minutes.
Delicatemoth’s side suffered another blow following the second goal when defender Pia Moilanen had to be helped from the field in the 59th minute. She will be out for 10 days. It will fall on her teammates to try and improve Ullapool’s situation next week; they are now nine points adrift of safety and remain bottom of Division 5:19.

Two points separated Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC from fifth-placed Liverpool Girls prior to the kick-off at Anfield Road, which must be heaving with the number of X11 teams that play on or near it.
The match basically exactly reflected that position. It was nearly even, but not quite as Kanjeng had more of the ball and more of the chances. This eventually paid dividends for The Sea Spirits when Cindy Prins fired them in front in the aftermath of a 79th minute corner.
That would prove enough for SeanoftheShed’s side to win a fiercely contested encounter, which saw the fates of the two teams wildly diverge. Kanjeng remain second in Division 5:21, three points behind leaders Flick of the Wrist whilst Liverpool plummet to seventh and are in a relegation dog-fight. Remember, if this close match had finished the other way around, Liverpool would have leapfrogged Kanjeng in the table. 5:21 is really congested.

Having climbed out of the Division 5:27 relegation zone last week, Zeugma Dostluk Spor had the chance to move further up the table as they would leapfrog Azeda Girls F.C. if they could beat Azeda in their own back yard.
In a tight game, Antepli Ejderha’s side had the two chances going in the first 45 minutes, but converted neither. Those would prove their last opportunities as the hosts had both second-half openings. They, likewise, failed to put either away as the match finished in a goalless draw.
So an opportunity spurned for the Anatolians. But the point collected was still important, as it kept them just above the waterline, sitting fifth by the margin of +2 G.D.

[Janik]

Dublin City WFC had a tough match on their hands as they welcomed a Malta side that held the play-off place to Phoenix Park.
The match started very well for Mortal Joe’s side, Veronica Kåmark heading them into the lead with the first opportunity of the match. That would prove to be the high tide for Dublin though as they spent the rest of the 90 minutes grimly trying to hang on, first to their lead and when that disappeared on 36 minutes to the point that they had started with. The good news was that this second defensive wall went unbreached as another point was added to the collection.
Menywod Maeshafn were looking to spark their promotion push again against ... because Girls Can after it has stuttered in recent weeks.
The first half didn’t go the way of the Welsh side though, and that despite them holding the majority of the ball. However it was ... because Girls Can who created the chances and also took an 18th minute lead.
IsThatcherDeadYet’s girls kept going though, creating a number of chances in the second half. Nothing was breaking their flow, not even a nasty 13-day injury to key defender Tina Käck, the pressure eventually resulting in a 74th minute equaliser headed home by Ada Westerberg. The winner was not forthcoming however as Maeshafn were held to a somewhat frustrating draw.
That left them in fifth place in the Division 5:29 standings, but closer on points to second (two) than the side one spot behind them in the drop zone (three). Dublin, meanwhile, sit seventh, five points adrift of Maeshafn, who currently represent the safety mark.

I believe I have noted previously that Sockford Emollient’s matchday 9 opponents Magnificent Ladies are anything but.
They certainly didn’t look like much of a match for The Gatorsharks in an opening 25 minutes Foxy265’s side dominated. However Sockford only had Alexia Batistuta’s fifth minute header to show at the end of that period, and paid the price for their profligacy when Magnificent equalised completely against the run of play. It needed a special effort to get Emollient going again, but fortunately for the Framleyshire hordes one arrived from Kayley Mullins just prior to the interval as she spotted the ‘keeper out of position and struck from fully 50 yards.
Batistuta made personally sure that the lead wouldn’t be lost again as she completed her hattrick with a second header after 59 minutes and then her own long-range wondergoal on 68. The win meant The Gatorsharks keep the pressure up on Division 6:40 leaders Gibbo Rovers, who have a two point advantage over Sockford.

If this season has been a bit of a disappointment for Invisible Ladies, it has been much worse for their matchday 9 hosts Ipswich Town Ladies, who came into the game with just three points to their name.
It looked like they might add to that as The See-Throughs failed to break the Tractor Girls down in the opening 45 minutes, despite statistically controlling the game with 57% possession and three chances to zip. However any frustration felt on the Invisible bench was lessened by Chelsea Paul firing in a 25 yarder to open the scoring on 57 minutes and Francesca Coles following that up with a breakaway five minutes later.
Pebblethefish’s side were cruising at that point, but nine minutes later a spanner was thrown into the works when first choice ‘keeper Nadine Hanley fell very awkwardly and had to be carrier off with what has proven to be a horror 26-day injury. Fortunately for The See-Throughs they have a strong back-up goalie in Persephone Ostrovski, who may welcome the chance for some playing time, and kept a clean sheet here.
Paul removed any further doubt by heading in a corner for the third goal (and personal second) after 76 minutes and completed her hattrick in the 90th with a close range finish. Despite the win, Invisible remain fifth in the Division 6:41 standings, nine points behind the leaders and eight away from the play-off place.

Solent Sirens pulled off a remarkable win against promotion-chasing MSV Duisburg Damen on matchday 6, as notable for the margin of victory as simply overturning the league standings. But could they do it again in Germany?
The early signs for Andrew7610’s charges were good as Simone de Beauvoir slammed home an 8th minute free-kick to give The Sirens the lead. However this didn’t last long, Duisburg equalising five minutes later, and the hosts would go on to take the lead 2-1 on 57 minutes.
This time it was the hosts whose lead was shortlived, Marlene Stieglecker levelling things up again with a breakaway on 65 minutes. This was no less than Solent deserved as they had more possession and were shading the chances. They may well have gone on to win the game without the 85th minute injury suffered by Paulina Lotoft. This was a double blow as not only will Lotoft now be out for 11 days, but The Sirens had also used all their subs by this point and were reduced to 10 players.
That was the chance that Duisburg needed, the hosts taking advantage of the spaces left to score two late goals and give the final score a really unfair complexion.
Riverbankers FC had frustrated Solent for two straight weeks as they collected their first two points of the season, but could SouthdownRebel’s side repeat the trick against Division 6:42 leaders Rotnäset BK?
Well, the development of the Banksiders team throughout the season was obvious as they made it very tough for Rotnäset, whose frustration was evident in the 89th minute red card shown to Ester Lindh for two bookings, but by then Rotnäset had actually got the game won after they scored in the 38th and 84th minutes. So a defeat, but another encouraging defensive performances from The Bankies.
And finally we have Witches of Chiswick taking on the side that started one place behind them in the 6:42 table, Tagalog Ladys.
There is no tactful way of putting this, but this game was a terrible performance by The Bewitched. Manager Wiblflibl must have been watching on in horror and frustration as his team struggled and fell 2-0 behind by the 27th minute. The situation went from bad to worse after that, first Chiswick midfielder Khal Eesi being helped from the field with a 10-day injury and then Tagalog making it 3-0 on 78 minutes.
The Bewitched were booed from the Field Lane pitch at full-time, and now find themselves down a place in sixth in the table, 11 points from the play-off spot. Solent are higher in fourth, but the gap between them and second also looks unbridgeable at seven points. Riverbankers remain bottom with two points to their name.

[SouthdownRebel]

We now have a vacancy in MLX if anyone is interested (VIP required).

[nmrfox]

Whoft Invincibles has a rather pleasing tang to it I think. Congrats to Sean and Dandy Town on another OTF title.

[ad hoc]

The big positive about going down is that for the foreseeable future I won't have to play fucking Dandy Town again

[nmrfox]

The big positive about going down is that for the foreseeable future I won't have to play fucking Dandy Town again

And some derby games with Noj and the Carrotmen.

[Etienne]

It's been consistently impressive that the Monkeys have stayed in the top division ahead of teams that were far stronger on paper. Whether they will now do a Coventry or bounce back reinvigorated is fascinating.

[Sean of the Shed]

The big positive about going down is that for the foreseeable future I won't have to play fucking Dandy Town again

we're going to miss you *crying emoji*. If it hadn't gone so horribly wrong at Turds then you would have been playing the U21 team today, but I know I needed at least a point to be certain as I couldn't trust Etienne not to put the supporters team out against Hornville, so league points had to trump DV points.

To be honest I'm still surprised that we managed to win the title last season, never mind retain it (which hasn't been done for 11 seasons when Great Ouse did it). This Dandy Town team is not one of the strongest I've had. I've struggled much harder with better teams in earlier seasons.

The other surprise is that we are the second richest team in the division. We've got less than 3 million econ in the bank. This league has reached Scottish football levels of skintness.

[Hot Orange]

So, despite a seven-game goalless run and an eight-game winless run, Hideous Towns return to the top flight. Hmm.

Meanwhile, we didn't get any penalties this season, so Sid Bunton is now up to 287 career games without scoring a goal.

[Auntie Beryl]

The other surprise is that we are the second richest team in the division. We've got less than 3 million econ in the bank. This league has reached Scottish football levels of skintness.

The Turds are going down with £17m in the bank. Not boasting, just tight as a coat of paint.

[Kevin S]

Well done Sean, the Dandies always seem to find a way. Congrats on another OTF title.

[Hot Orange]

The team with the best defensive record in Division 1 were relegated (the Rejects, of course).

[jdsx]

Many congrats to Sean, Janik, and the other division winners. Four Candles seem to have limped over the promotion/finishing line, with one point from the last 3 matches. We arrive at the OTF in a penniless state, which doesn't bode well for the future, but we know all about 'Scottish football levels of skintness'..... Glad to see everyone else is in the same (impecunious) boat...

[Various Artist]

Indeed, you'll fit right in given that having econs in the bank and scoring or conceding goals are apparently not tied to success or failure in the OTF league these days.

To further illustrate this, Vita Mortis are 6th richest in the top flight with a whopping 1.3m in the bank. (And given we've taken the individual prizes for goals, assists and combined points, I expect us to rocket to about 4th after tonight.) Despite looking generally useless this season and being lucky to scrape to a second straight 5th-place finish, I've just discovered we apparently registered the best average team performance rating in the division, somehow including the top four individual matches (and 6 of the top 8) – a list led by last week's home wins over Ouse and the Swine, performances I hadn't realised were statistically significant in any fashion until right now. Along the way we bagged the best Offence rating in league history (20!) for our 6-3 win over the Turds at the start of this month... then promptly sold one of the strikers involved to ensure our current solvency.

[jdsx]

Bit of a disappointing Change Report for Four Candles. We did have one DJ, but it was a 24/10 to a 25/12 who'd failed to jump last year, so he's just 'back on track', and now very low in the skillband of course....
All the over-25s stayed where they were, and the under-25s pretty much all went up a skill.
I was hoping our reserve goalie would jump from a 21/7 to a 22/8 (I'd played him in 4 games, but he'd only reached 14DV) and would therefore sell for about 1.5 million, but unfortunately he is now only on 7.4 skill and therefore as a 22/7 will get perhaps a million less!
Somebody's going to have to be sold, otherwise we won't have enough to train anyone by next week..... I suppose we could hope for a decent youth tomorrow whom we can sell, but the track record of our YA, even at 300k per week, is not that good....

[Kevin S]

More retirements for Steaua are going to hurt us in the short and medium term but a double jump for goalkeeper Jake Pearce puts him on 20/7, the same as two defenders, with a striker and a midfielder each on 19/6. Not earth-shattering but at least there are some green shoots coming up. I signed all five when I took over in May; three were bought in (total cost a little over 2 million) and two were youth team products.