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Matt J's "Word Racing" timewaster/game for the stay-at-home COVID-19 days of 2020

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    Kent femme found a replacement:

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      Speaking with full smutty gob

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        And Trump's wibbling speeches

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          Originally posted by matt j View Post
          Sean of the Shed revealed the problem with mixing word racing and politics.
          I'm going for style over substance. I'm banking on a big bonus award for the pay-off.


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            Likes the odd golden shower

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              Very stylish!

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                It's still high culture as far as this forum's concerned.

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                  Though blue in the face

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                    I enjoy the way the adjacent lines from different limericks occasionally create a sort of demented poetry of their own. It's rather pleasingly serendipitous.

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                      He imagined a gridiron kick

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                        I think that leaves only ad hoc for this race.

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                          Originally posted by Various Artist View Post
                          I enjoy the way the adjacent lines from different limericks occasionally create a sort of demented poetry of their own. It's rather pleasingly serendipitous.
                          definitely.

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                            Originally posted by matt j View Post
                            I think that leaves only ad hoc for this race.
                            Ah, sorry, let me get on that

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                              Originally posted by ad hoc View Post

                              Ah, sorry, let me get on that
                              That's only 21 letters

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                                It's a good ending to a dirty limerick though.

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                                  (Indian friend fell off a cliff)

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                                    Limerick Week, Race #4:

                                    There once was a fellow from Cluj
                                    who in word racing wasn't a stooge.
                                    It often would follow
                                    in events truly hollow,
                                    that he possessed something quite huge.

                                    A latecomer arrived at our party
                                    we realized at once was a smarty
                                    in second Balders finished
                                    in no ways diminished
                                    by rhyme schemes particularly spotty.

                                    In third we had a bit of a tie
                                    between lambers and sits, oh my!
                                    One is rhyming purple
                                    a feat quite enurple!
                                    The other, remote, like the sky.

                                    As for last place, it would be remiss,
                                    should we fail to mention someone like this:
                                    "Oh look it's Zeb!"
                                    and then much like J.E.B.
                                    we say 'Please clap, instead of a hiss'.
                                    Racer Name Race Place
                                    ad hoc 1
                                    balderdasha 2
                                    lambers 3
                                    sits 3
                                    slackster 5
                                    Sean of the Shed 6
                                    Test Racer 4 x
                                    sporting 7
                                    San Bernardhinaoult 8
                                    various artist 9
                                    diable rouge 10
                                    nmrfox 11
                                    southport zeb 12

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                                      Limerick Week, Race #5:

                                      Finish it off, making it obvious which line is the entry for the race.

                                      So I went to a bar in Wisconsin
                                      said, "I will have a tonic and gin"
                                      The bartender flipped his lid,
                                      "We've only piss, hair, and Covid! -
                                      We've named it a Boris Johnson!" - scores 133

                                      I'm going to assign bonus points for crudity. There.

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                                        One night, old Nigel was queasy
                                        I think his rhyming was skeezy
                                        But for fifty fields of purple

                                        Fake visions from one fur pill
                                        Making up limericks ain't easy

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                                          A chicken crossed over a road
                                          To greet a Scot clad in woad
                                          Though blue in the face
                                          Jock showed so much grace
                                          The rooster awarded him Spode

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                                            A pitiful kid from fort wayne
                                            Covid made him go quite insane
                                            Chloroquine laced peaches
                                            And Trump's wibbling speeches
                                            Fucked the inside of his brain

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                                              I met an old woman from Hitchin,
                                              Whose baking blew up a kitchen,
                                              She tried simmering lobsters,
                                              For fifteen biffing mobsters,
                                              My, the fat flames were bitchin'

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                                                I once met a gal from Down Under,
                                                With a voice as loud as thunder.
                                                Speaking with full smutty gob,
                                                Crude Ocker slang did she lob,
                                                Scatterin’ Mo-fuckers asunder.

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                                                  The American president Trump
                                                  Is an incomprehensible chump
                                                  He's abusing his power
                                                  Likes the odd golden shower
                                                  And tweets while having a dump

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                                                    I once laid a woman from Dover
                                                    My head covered by my pullover
                                                    Unhappy with self-effacement
                                                    Kent femme found a replacement:
                                                    Skinner! The beast of Bolsover

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