Scooby Doo and his permanently gormless companion Shaggy had managed, through nefarious means, to acquire three tickets to Manchester United v Arsenal. The ploan had been for long time friend Handsome Fred to join them, but sadly Fred had got lifted by the bill the previous night following a stramash in the Living Rooms. The alterction had spilled out on to Deansgate, and CCTV had Fred bang to rights bottling a local scally. With a spare ticket, Scooby Doo had phoned his nephew, Wayne 'Scrappy' Roo. Scrppy Roo was delighted to take the ticket off his Uncle Scooby's paws, and arranged to meet Scooby and Shaggy on the Old Trafford forecourt a couple of hours before kick off.
Scrappy Roo, as befits a puppy filled with boundless energy and enthusiasm, had arrived at Old Trafford very early indeed. A little time was taklen up getting lunch at Legends Chippy, then drinking cans of Stella from the shop next door. He took a brief look around the megastore, deciding not to purchase a pair of Nemanja Vidic musical pyjamas. Eventually the allotted meeting time rolled around, and little Scrappy Roo went off to meet his Uncle Scooby and Shaggy.
Sure enough, there the pair were, underneath the statue of Sir Matt, the allotted meeting place of everyone at Old Trafford.
"Uncle Scooby?" asked Scrappy, in timehonoured tradition. "Hi, I'm Scrappy Roo."
"Rappy Roo?" replied Scooby, and they all fell about laughing.
This may have had something to do with the lethal skunk Scooby and Shaggy had been smoking on the tram to the goround. They'd scored it from some Cheetham Hill hoodrats earlier that day.
"E'y'are." mumbled Shaggy, "I'm fookin starvin. How about we get some fookin nosebag or wha?" And so played out a tedious half hour or so where Scooby and Shaggy ate a sarnie bigger than Steven Ireland's car.
The three tickets were for the North Stand tier 3. "It's fookin shite up there man." said Shaggy. "You can see fook all and it's full of daytrippin happy clappers. Fook that. Let's blag our way in to the stretty or summat."
And so Scooby Doo, Scrappy Roo and Shaggy opened a door and legged it down a series of long, unmarked corridors until they stumbled across the tunnel area. "Fookin hell." Scrappy and Shaggy said in unison. "Rookin Rell." added Scooby.
For right in front of them was Sir Alex Ferguson doing an interview for BBC2's MotD2 programme. He was explaining how he had dropped Ronaldo, Tevez and Scholes for the game and was instead playing Dong, Saha and Eagles.
"That's fooking nuts man." said Scrappy Roo. "What the fook is that about?"
"Yeah man." added Shaggy, because I can't be arsed to type out any more Scooby Doo dialogue. "First the press say how Fergie's been givin Wenger's hole a tonguin in the press, now this. Summat's rotten in the state of Salfohd."
"Yeh man." agreed Scrappy Roo. "Fuck this. I'm sortin it out proper. Once an for all. Let me at him, let me at him."
Scrappy Roo ran at Sir Alex and laept on him. Savaging Ferguson's face badly. All the skin came off in Scrappy Roo's little yappy mouth.
"Ere'y'are. This aint skin. It's rubber. It's a mask."
Beneath the mask lay the face of Old Man Wenger from the library. "That's right. My evil plan was to disguise myself as Sir Alex and fuck up his season just like I fucked up mine. And I'd have got away with it too, if it hadn't been for you meddling kids."
And so, disaster narrowly averted, Scooby, Scrappy and Shaggy took their, or someone else's, seats in the Stretty and watched United beat Arsenal 2-0.
Scrappy Roo, as befits a puppy filled with boundless energy and enthusiasm, had arrived at Old Trafford very early indeed. A little time was taklen up getting lunch at Legends Chippy, then drinking cans of Stella from the shop next door. He took a brief look around the megastore, deciding not to purchase a pair of Nemanja Vidic musical pyjamas. Eventually the allotted meeting time rolled around, and little Scrappy Roo went off to meet his Uncle Scooby and Shaggy.
Sure enough, there the pair were, underneath the statue of Sir Matt, the allotted meeting place of everyone at Old Trafford.
"Uncle Scooby?" asked Scrappy, in timehonoured tradition. "Hi, I'm Scrappy Roo."
"Rappy Roo?" replied Scooby, and they all fell about laughing.
This may have had something to do with the lethal skunk Scooby and Shaggy had been smoking on the tram to the goround. They'd scored it from some Cheetham Hill hoodrats earlier that day.
"E'y'are." mumbled Shaggy, "I'm fookin starvin. How about we get some fookin nosebag or wha?" And so played out a tedious half hour or so where Scooby and Shaggy ate a sarnie bigger than Steven Ireland's car.
The three tickets were for the North Stand tier 3. "It's fookin shite up there man." said Shaggy. "You can see fook all and it's full of daytrippin happy clappers. Fook that. Let's blag our way in to the stretty or summat."
And so Scooby Doo, Scrappy Roo and Shaggy opened a door and legged it down a series of long, unmarked corridors until they stumbled across the tunnel area. "Fookin hell." Scrappy and Shaggy said in unison. "Rookin Rell." added Scooby.
For right in front of them was Sir Alex Ferguson doing an interview for BBC2's MotD2 programme. He was explaining how he had dropped Ronaldo, Tevez and Scholes for the game and was instead playing Dong, Saha and Eagles.
"That's fooking nuts man." said Scrappy Roo. "What the fook is that about?"
"Yeah man." added Shaggy, because I can't be arsed to type out any more Scooby Doo dialogue. "First the press say how Fergie's been givin Wenger's hole a tonguin in the press, now this. Summat's rotten in the state of Salfohd."
"Yeh man." agreed Scrappy Roo. "Fuck this. I'm sortin it out proper. Once an for all. Let me at him, let me at him."
Scrappy Roo ran at Sir Alex and laept on him. Savaging Ferguson's face badly. All the skin came off in Scrappy Roo's little yappy mouth.
"Ere'y'are. This aint skin. It's rubber. It's a mask."
Beneath the mask lay the face of Old Man Wenger from the library. "That's right. My evil plan was to disguise myself as Sir Alex and fuck up his season just like I fucked up mine. And I'd have got away with it too, if it hadn't been for you meddling kids."
And so, disaster narrowly averted, Scooby, Scrappy and Shaggy took their, or someone else's, seats in the Stretty and watched United beat Arsenal 2-0.
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