The 92 Derby - Weekend Matchgoing

[Gangster Octopus]

NGU get a player sent off for two yellows. And there appears to be some grief between the dugouts.

[Gangster Octopus]

NGU now have as few players on the pitch as Rotherham. And Wembley score from the penalty...

[Gangster Octopus]

Finishes 5-2 to Wembley.

[Walt Flanagans Dog]

Carlisle v Macclesfield. See TRL's previous report of our Boxing Day game, where Carlisle had 45% possession, one corner to Oldham's eleven, both teams had nine attempts of which Carlisle got seven on target and scored with six of them, Oldham managing one on target and no goals.

So we're full of confidence, we're playing the second bottom team and we should be handing them the shellacking of their lives. But it'll be 0-2 or summat.

Well, it was neither but a scrappy 2-1 win for Carlisle - first half performance was actually quite good after conceding in the second minute, but second half was scrappy and increasingly desperate until Danny Grainger launched a cross from the touch line in the 88th minute and Jerry Yates turned it in. Our stand would like to claim the second assist for it, as whoever passed to Grainger was clearly going to pass it back across the midfield until we engaged in some panto style 'he's behind you!' and he turned round and realised Grainger was unmarked on the wing.

The sunset was nice but not a classic, I was sober and I stayed to the final whistle.

I was buying a pre match drink and the old fella next to me had ordered a pint of bitter, but the barrel ran out at the half pint mark. Our ever flexible bar staff were trying to persuade him to pay for a full pint, take half then and come back and get the other half at (fittingly) half time. After something of a stand off - he was adamant he didn't want a drink at half time, and clearly didn't want to enter into this novel reverse instalment plan - he told them to shove it.

[longeared]

Maltby Main 4-0 Goole AFC

Not really as entertaining as the scoreline suggests to be honest. Goole bossed the first twenty but couldn't create any chances, then we all got to see how inept their defence is when Maltby scored three times in quick succession in the run up to the interval. The second half was a bit of a non-event, the main talking point coming midway through when Maltby had a free kick, it bypassed everyone, the net rippled and everyone celebrated, until they suddenly realised the ref / assistant had decided the ball hadn't crossed the line and the game was still going on. They knocked in a fourth shortly after from a fine piece of up and under.

The other amusing feature was the Maltby chairman winning the 50-50 draw, for the second home game in a row apparently. Oh and they brought all the spare food from the boardroom out to the terrace at half time, the pork pie was very succulent.

[Paul S]

Sevenoaks Town 0-1 Cray Wanderers

Or as the Sevenoaks Town twitter feed had it:

1880 v 1860

Sevenoaks Town are an old club who have only just made it into the Isthmian league after over a hundred years of football. The ground has been converted from a park pitch with containers for changing rooms and kitchen etc. But it also had a 3G pitch. It was not ramshackle but new and really quite fresh. If you find the £8 admission a bit to much for you, you can watch for free on a hill behind one of the goals. In fact, one of the keepers was having a conversation with one of these spectators during the first half.

The game though was poor though with few chances and little of incident. A well deserved penalty to Sevenoaks was saved by the goalkeeper during the first half and we missed the only goal of the game in the 88th minute to get out of the car park first. This ground is worth a visit for the quirkiness of the ground, but the game was dull.

[DCI Harry Batt]

Why on earth would you leave early? Just...why? Why?

[DCI Harry Batt]

Sorry.

[Nocturnal Submission]

He told you, to get out of the car park first.

[DCI Harry Batt]

Could have been out of it before kick off by not going.

[DCI Harry Batt]

Sorry.

[Sean of the Shed]

The attendance was 269. Just how many cars did you have to get ahead of to get out first?

[Third rate Leszno]

Southport 2-1 Alfreton Town

Been a while since I went on the terrace at Haig Ave, so I was pleased to find that they now have a beer van (selling local bottled ale as well as ubiquitous mass-market cack) and you can drink on the terrace during the match. Less pleased to find that Bovril costs ten bob more than tea or coffee, and borderline grumpy when I found they had no pepper for the Bovril. Shambles.

Game kicked off at 14:58, which meant that Southport were a goal up before most matches had even begun - Jason Gilchrist sidefooting in almost apologetically after a flicked on free kick inside the first minute. Port were dominant in the first half, going two up with a sort of lob by Jack Sampson when the Alfreton 'keeper misjudged a bouncing ball.

Second half saw Alfreton play much better, and get back into it through a penalty after their striker made absolutely sure to run into the leg that Ryan Astles obligingly dangled out for him. Even after giving the penalty, the linesman on our side got about 3 minutes non-stop ear-bashing from a fat bloke in the Alfreton end for some perceived slight earlier in proceedings. I felt sorry for him, cos he then got non-stop poor quality whining from the home fans as he moved down the pitch to get away from the Alfreton gobshite.

Chances at both ends during the last half hour, and a good save from Port keeper Hanford in stoppage time meant another three points for the Sandgrounders as their climb up the league continues. Decent sunset, and very decent chips from the Fryery on Guildford Road on my way home.

[Merlin the happy pig]

Windsor 1-1 Tuffley Rovers in the Hellenic Premier.

Quite an old ground that has obviously seen time at a higher level.

1 minute out on the golden goal. Again.

[Paul S]

The attendance was 269. Just how many cars did you have to get ahead of to get out first?

Not many, but by a quirk we were pointing at the exit in a perfect position to get out. Also my 70 odd something year old father was cold and tired so we left early to get him warm. We used to be religious about staying to the end, but since his heart attack three years ago things have had to change. Sorry, but it is what happens as you get older.

[Nocturnal Submission]

Damned right.

[Sean of the Shed]

Yeah, that's fair enough.

[jameswba]

A non-football contribution here ; I'll probably go to Zilina vs Poprad in the Slovak ice-hockey league today. This is another sport where 'games come thick and fast at this time of year' and results can thus be unpredictable. Zilina will hope that this factor counts in their favour today. They are rooted to the bottom of the league and have various 'off-the-ice' problems, what with cash-flow issues, the city authorities wanting to sell the club etc etc. Poprad are based in proper winter-sport territory, right under the Tatra mountains, and are fourth in the table.

I predict a 1-0 home win in front of a sub-700 crowd.

[Snake Plissken]

Overheard a West Ham fan describing last season as the best in Burnley history.

Which already puts me in ill humour.

[Billy Casper]

Barnsley 2-1 Charlton

Our third solid performance in a row. We were two goals up after twenty minutes and playing great football.
Charlton came into it a bit more in the second half and scored with one of only two shots on target (the other was a free kick that hit the wall and led directly to the goal).

Inexplicably the referee added nine and a half minutes of injury time but we saw it out comfortably. Lee Bowyer thought Charlton deserved something from the game. I didn't.

[Snake Plissken]

Bloody hell. Where did that first half come from? Dwight McNeil looks a real prospect on the left wing.

[Simon G]

Cheltenham 2-2 Ecotricity FC

If it was a boxing match, I'd say at half-time that we were behind on points, but didn't need a knockout going into the last round.

Second half was a cracker though, we came out of the blocks much quicker and appeared to be the team likely to score. A cock-up by Ben Tozer (his first since being moved to centre-back) gifted FGR their first, and then a few mins later after we looked to be getting back into it, he did the exact same thing.

At 2-0 we looked dead and buried and it was only FGR's mistake that really got us back into it. Although Luke Varney still had a lot to do, holding off two defenders to finish it brilliantly. We then went on the attack and the equaliser was another gift really (all 4 goals were). I honestly thought the ref had given a free-kick which tempered my celebration a bit.

The last 10 mins was brilliant - both teams really going for it. I imagine heart monitors for all fans would have gone mental following that.

More evidence that Cheltenham definitely aren't a relegation team now - we're fighting for every point and the game never seems over.

[Ray de Galles]

SAP 4 Old Road 2
Grenades 0 Five Islands 1

Antigua & Barbuda Premier League

Two quite contrasting games, both played mostly in the teeth of a massive rainstorm that hit the island last night which produced more rain in a couple of hours than I’ve seen in three separate holidays here combined.

The first was by far the most entertaining, possibly because it was a lower quality meeting of the previously winless and pointless SAP with Old Road who sat only three places higher. SAP surpringly went in to the lead nine minutes in but predictably relinquished it seven minutes later and went behind right on the stroke of half time and it looked hopeless for them at the break.

An astonishing second half performance from their captain Peter Byers (who holds the records for international caps and goals) turned it all around; hammering the ball in to the roof of the net after the Five Islands keeper failed to keep hold of it, converting a penalty folowing a foul at a corner that nobody in the ground but the ref saw and no SAP player appealed for then finishing the game’s best passing move for his hat trick.

The celebrations for his third and at the final whistle were of cup final winning standard. All of this occurred while the rain and wind seemed to build in intensity with every goal, eventually shorting the two sets of floodlights atop the Richie Richardson Pavilion I was sat in.

The second game was always going to struggle to live up to the opener and it was a tighter, more niggly affair - perhaps unsurpringly as any winner would go top of the table, for 24 hours at least. As the storm reached it’s peak the fouls became wilder (refs here seem to have no concept of ‘foot up’ or objection to out of control, two-footed tackles unless major damage is inflicted) and chances fewer. The result was sealed by an absolutely cracking 35-yarder from Yoandir Puga (one of FIFC’s sizable Cuban contingent) on the stroke of half time that brought an audible “Woof!” from me (does anyone else exclaim that after a thwacked goal?).

That was pretty much that and I passed the second half confirming my opinion that the Antigua Recreation Ground definitely has the most sweaty, argumentative crowd I’ve ever watched football in - in the face of some extremely strong competition. All across the stands I sat in rows were breaking out between people, often across whole rows or banks of seats, with effing and jeffing punctuating every phrase.

None of it was actually aggressive, in fact it seemed very good-natured and about the finer points of the football we were watching of the game in general. At one point two guys had been screaming at each other for a few minutes from seats some way either side of of me until one of them shouted the kind of thing one frequently sees on the internet “Come at me motherfucker, I’ve got the stats right here!” and I looked up to see he was genuinely brandishing a few pages of notes and figures at the other guy. I don’t think I was the only person around us stifling a laugh.

[EIM]

Old Gunnar Solskjaer 4-1 Bournemouth

Didn't have a hot vimto. Mind, it was 12 degrees, which is ridiculous for this time of year. What's the point in buying a new big coat if you never get big coat weather. Pogba was good. Rashford was good. Matic was good. Lindelof was good. Bournemouth were very accommodating, mind. Cheers, guys. Merry Christmas.

[Snake Plissken]

Burnley 2 West Ham 0

The dropping of Joe Hart and return of Tom Heaton was a belated Christmas present for a lot of Clarets. A starting spot for Dwight McNeil was also a welcome surprise. And it suddenly seemed like last season again, especially with Heaton audibly reminding James Tarkowski every 20 seconds that no, he isn't actually the second coming of Bobby Moore and defending isn't actually beneath him. And Christmas miracle of miracles, we actually played the ball on the floor. All this, combined with Anderson really not enjoying his lesson at the Phil Bardsley School of Applied Shithousery meant Clarets had probably their best 45 minutes of the season and fully deserved the standing ovation they got at half time.

Speaking of shithouses, West 'Aaaaaam threw on Andy Carroll for the second half. He was sent off for two flying elbows in as many minutes last year and seemed determined to repeat the feat by getting booked for flattening Ben Mee. He truly is the stupidest player in the league. And, his tied back hair is ridiculous. As a middle-aged man with a pony tail, all I ask is that he fucking commit to it instead of that wussy half-hearted middle ground. Anyway, Burnley could have, should have gone to about 4-0 or 5-0 in the second half before a fairly entertaining end to end 15 minutes. Heaton's every touch was greeted with wild cheers and he pulled off a fantastic save in the dying minutes. It's about the fourth false dawn this season but at least there is some hope for the two forthcoming crucial matches against Huddersfield and Fulham.