Hollerbach's Knackwurst - Bundesliga 2018/19

[Janik]

Graphical representation of their Pirmasens historical performance, courtesy of Wikipedia.

[Stumpy Pepys]

So after Bayern's little sojourn among AEK Athens and Rodinghausen, seems they've gone back to their unimpressive ways.

Haching, meanwhile, have *drawn* their last seven games. Have you any idea how frustrating this is?

[Sporting]

Why "drawn" with asterisks? Or is there something I'm missing?

[Stumpy Pepys]

Why "drawn" with asterisks? Or is there something I'm missing?

Incredulity. Confusion.

[Stumpy Pepys]

Bayern showed so little fight this evening. They were rescued by Gnabry.

Something not right with this club.

[G-Man]

There's a remarkable statistic: Of the last eight shots-on-goal Bayern allowed, all resulted in goals. Neuer has not made a save in something like 700+ minutes.

[imp]

There's a remarkable statistic: Of the last eight shots-on-goal Bayern allowed, all resulted in goals. Neuer has not made a save in something like 700+ minutes.

Falsche Fakten. You'll be hearing from Bayern's lawyers.

I keep quoting back the text message to the obnoxious Bayern fan that he first sent me in late August, predicting Eintracht would be soon "sucking balls in the 2. Bundesliga" and their coach would be gone by the end of September. I've also been sending him regular postcards with the date 19-05-2018 and the word "legendärisch" on the front, reminding him how this year's Cup Final turned out. I got a set of 10 - three down, seven to go. Foolish of him to give me his new postal address when I asked for it. Perhaps he was expecting a birthday card.

[treibeis]

In summer, I bet Daniel Dann that Kovac would be gone by Christmas. The winnings - a deep-frozen pizza (his idea, not mine) - will be mine, I fear.

[Stumpy Pepys]

In summer, I bet Daniel Dann that Kovac would be gone by Christmas. The winnings - a deep-frozen pizza (his idea, not mine) - will be mine, I fear.

Dr Oetker is the only winner here.

[treibeis]

Dr Oetker is the only winner here.

Knowing him, he'll buy a three-pack of own-brand margheritas from Penny, eat two of them himself and then give me the opened box with the third one in it.

[G-Man]

Falsche Fakten. You'll be hearing from Bayern's lawyers.

Ha! The lawyers will have to take it up with Manuel Neuer.

[Alderman Barnes]

11 Freunde reminded me that today's Landespokal Rheinland match between Kaiserslautern and FK Pirmasens is the first time the two clubs have met in a competitive fixture since they contested the 1962-63 Oberliga Südwest, which FCK won, thereby obtaining its golden ticket to the initial Bundesliga.

Though Lautern now find themselves in the third tier of German football, they have of course won two Bundesliga titles and two DFB Pokal in that time, as well as featuring in European competitions. Pirmasens, who had been a major force in the region's football after the war (winning three Oberliga titles and attracting crowds of up to 65,000 for big games that they played in Ludwigshafen (as Pirmasens only has 40,000 people and their ground only holds a quarter of that), played one season in the early 2. Bundesliga, but fell as far the sixth tier Bezirksliga before recovering to their current place in the Regionaliga (one tier below FCK).

I always that Pirmasens sounded as if it should be in Schleswig-Holstein.

My father-in-law is from Pirmasens and he's still bitter about that. When he used go and watch them in the fifties they were one of the strongest sides in Germany. Then they missed out on the Bundesliga and from then on they collapsed.

[sw2borshch]

And HSV score late to beat Koeln 1-0 and go back top of the 2. Liga, knocking St Pauli off the top. I was at die Alm yesterday to see St Pauli's slightly undeserved win, but my main thoughts were that I don't ever remember such heavy smoking at a ground.

[CY_Boaby]

Cologne giving Dynamo Dresden a right doing, currently 8-1 up with 5 mins to go. And to really rub it in, Cologne have turned up in fancy dress as Where's Wally.

[Stumpy Pepys]

Not a masterclass in defending but Dortmund-Bayern was certainly entertaining

[treibeis]

Not a masterclass in defending but Dortmund-Bayern was certainly entertaining

Indeed. My deep-frozen pizza (because of Kovac's dismissal before Christmas Eve) is, as I said earlier, mine, all mine.

I've also got a crate of Schultheiss riding on Dárdai being kicked out of Hertha by Easter. That's mine and all.

I can neither eat pizza nor drink beer, but that's not the point.

[Stumpy Pepys]

I also feel that I must draw attention to Kimmich's rubbish 'tache.

[G-Man]

Cologne giving Dynamo Dresden a right doing, currently 8-1 up with 5 mins to go. And to really rub it in, Cologne have turned up in fancy dress as Where's Wally.

At least Köln didn't wear clown shoes to go with that stupid carnival shirt. I suspect they wore the clown shoes against Hamburg.

[danielmak]

Bayern's defenders looked very, very slow. I'd think that in addition to firing Kovac and bringing back Heynckes, they will need to buy some central defenders during the break. I'm hoping Dortmund have realized the mistake of buying back players from the two titles and Hummels won't be back. But I'm also hoping that Piszczek is sent packing. Almost every goal or major threat was a product of his inability to defend. He's past it at this level.

[imp]

Kovac was talking in the post-match interview about it not being over, and how they will do much better in the Rückrunde - presumably they've promised him a ton of cash for the January transfer window. I think they will keep him, because it just looks embarrassing to fire managers every time you have a bad run. Sorry, treibeis, don't count your frozen Penny pizzas until they're in the microwave.

It's odd that Kovac played both Boateng and Hummels against such a quick team. It was his exploitation of their creeping, creaking slowness that got Frankfurt the German cup.

Cracking game, though. With the absolute highlight of all highlights being the footage of Hoeneß and Rummenigge as Dortmund scored their third. You see Hoeneß saying, "Abseits" and then standing up and wagging his finger and shaking his head. Then they are both showered in beer from celebrating fans above and are suitably outraged and start yelling. After the final whistle, Sky had to interrupt its interview with Marco Reus because Uli and Kalle were being serenaded across the pitch to an almighty Pfeifkonzert. The Sky dude could barely conceal his glee - they've quit any pretence at objective coverage of Bayern since the famous Auf-die-Fressekonferenz (copyright Süddeutsche Zeitung) of three weeks ago.

Hoeneß has admitted in retrospect that the press conference made them look pretty pathetic. Because of his ranting and naked hypocrisy? No, because he says it was a mistake of Rummenigge to quote the German constitution.

[treibeis]

Hummels is quick, though. He said so in the post-match interviews. "One of my major strengths is that I'm a quick thinker", he said, so he did.

Imagine having to work alongside somebody who says things like that.

[G-Man]

Asbach Bayern are 5th now. Behind Kovac's ex-club Eintracht Frankfurt. There's a great German word for that: Genugtuung.

[imp]

Asbach Bayern are 5th now. Behind Kovac's ex-club Eintracht Frankfurt. There's a great German word for that: Genugtuung.

That word's not nearly strong enough for what I'm feeling towards Bayern right now. How about Schadenfreude mit Schlagsahne und Schampus?

So, in nine Bundesliga matches this weekend, only Nürnberg-Stuttgart (0-2) had less than three goals. Only a single game in BL2 with less than two goals - Sandhausen's 0-0 draw with Duisburg. Imagine how you'd feel if that was your game of the weekend (JVL?). 4.25 goals per game in BL2 (with Bochum-Darmstadt still to play). 3.55 in the top flight.

[Stumpy Pepys]

So at least Unterhaching broke their run of eight games without a win (L1, D7), with a 6-0 home defeat of Fortuna Köln. Despite this, we'e still sixth in the table, which suggests the standard in the 3. Liga is not the highest.

Must say the fans who came down from Cologne were very magnanimous and amusing, as we all got somewhat drunk together in the biergarten after the game.

[G-Man]

Of course Fortuna's fans were in good spirits. They did one goal better against Haching than they did last week.