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    Your nicknames for players

    I watched Barry Town lose to Cardiff Met on Saturday. Barry's most exciting player is their pacey right wingback Macauley Southam-Hayes. When my friend and I saw Barry a few weeks ago, Macauley came over to the bench to get a few puffs on his inhaler, so we have nicknamed him "Inhaler Boy". During the game on Saturday we got a few odd looks when my friend called him Inhaler Boy as we were discussing a Barry attack.

    So, go on everyone, what nicknames do you have for players?

    #2
    Not so many these days but Ron Futcher in the very early 90s was nicknamed "The Scud Missile" due to being old, slow and inaccurate.

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      #3
      I (un)affectionately refer to (un)reliable York stalwart Danny Parslow as "Toblerone boots", which is fairly self-explanatory.

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        #4
        Phil "The Bench" Lineacre

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          #5
          Moussa Sissoko - 'Spoonfeet'

          (Sounds more like the title of a novel, now I think about it.)

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            #6
            But best one ever was Everton's nickname for Neil Poynton

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              #7
              Jay Tabb was always 'The Anti-Weeble' whenever he played against Doncaster for his propensity to hit the deck often.

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                #8
                Aaron Wheelchair.

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                  #9
                  "Windscreens" O'Brien - O'Brien are a big glass company over here and their windscreen business was (maybe still is) Windscreens O'Brien. So when I had Newcastle's Andy in my Fantasy team some considerable time ago, it was natural.

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                    #10
                    Davie Dodds' supposedly notorious ugliness meant even home fans called him Salmonpuss. The players' own nicknames for each other became quite well known in the glory years, so lots of fans referred to Luggy (Sturrock); Sasha (Narey, resemblance to Distel); Badger (McKinlay) etc

                    In our house the Brazilian PSG superstar crock is known as Nilmar

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                      #11
                      Originally posted by Guy Profumo View Post
                      But best one ever was Everton's nickname for Neil Poynton
                      'Disa-'?

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                        #12
                        Yes I remember Disa Poynton. Round the same time as Ollie Varadi

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                          #13
                          Matt Jansen was a bit injury prone in his early career and much was made of him having to be used sparingly, so he was known as Balsa Boy among our group.

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                            #14
                            Originally posted by ad hoc View Post
                            Yes I remember Disa Poynton. Round the same time as Ollie Varadi
                            (Ha - that was a complete guess on my part. Imagine I probably heard it before...)

                            On a food tip, André Villas-Boas was known as 'Baby Carrot' as a young player and I recall Pat Rice being nicknamed 'Uncle Ben' by his Arse team mates, the wags. (By the same token, Tony Currie was more than likely known as 'Vesta'.)

                            Obviously, in more recent times, 'One Size' Fitz Hall takes a bit of beating.

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                              #15
                              Originally posted by ad hoc View Post
                              Yes I remember Disa Poynton. Round the same time as Ollie Varadi
                              Yeah, but Ollie was Imre's dad.

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                                #16
                                Tranmere Rovers defender Steve McNulty has been known as Judith Chalmers ever since he played for Burscough in a playoff final which went to extra time. He had to be substituted at the end of the 90 minutes so that he could get the airport in time to catch his flight for his holiday.

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                                  #17
                                  Rangers keeper Peter McCloy let the team down so often that the fans gave him a nickname that rhymed with the one the media had given him - The Girvan Lighthouse.

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                                    #18
                                    Not mine, or even football, but a contender for Best Nickname has to be Australian rugby's wonder-skipper John Eales. Called "Nobody" ... because nobody's perfect.

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                                      #19
                                      Not a player (not now anyway), but ex-Haching (now Leipzig) trainer Ralph Hasenhüttl was always "Hutch" in our corner of the ground.

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                                        #20
                                        I liked the one Ricky Tomlinson used about Everton striker Stuart Barlow in (I think it was) Cracker:

                                        "Jigsaw - he always falls apart in the box".

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                                          #21
                                          Years ago, I used to regularly watch a sixth-tier team here. One of the centre-halves was older than I was (and I was over 40 at the time) and as slow as a 40-plus bloke normally is.

                                          He was known among some of the spectators as "Jopi", after Johannes "Jopi" Heesters, an entertainer who was still appearing in various productions when he was over 100 years old.

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                                            #22
                                            Originally posted by Sits View Post
                                            I liked the one Ricky Tomlinson used about Everton striker Stuart Barlow in (I think it was) Cracker:

                                            "Jigsaw - he always falls apart in the box".
                                            Reminds me of "we call our keeper Dracula, because he's scared of crosses."

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                                              #23
                                              Or - 'we call ours Cinderella, because he's always late for the ball'.

                                              Et, and indeed, cetera.

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                                                #24
                                                Neymar, recently nicknamed by a few PSG fans "Jean Neymar" (phonetically = J’en ai marre, I’m fed up) as he’s been very ambivalent about staying at PSG since March.

                                                (he’s now agitating for a move, making it known via his father and the Spanish papers that he wants out – of course, he may just want a pay rise, totally understandable, life’s becoming unbearably expensive in Paris and his posh neighbourhood may get another migrant centre, that’s got to hugely affect property prices, who knows, his penthouse may be worth peanuts by the time his contract is up in 2022, you’ve got to think about these things).

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                                                  #25
                                                  That's quite clever.

                                                  Neymar is the footballing definition of high maintenance

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