The Refereeing Thread

[imp]

I'll buy it.

Shit title, though.

Heh. It's been a topic of discussion for several months. If you can come up with anything involving whistles, cards, yellows, 'ref' that hasn't already been used, then you're a better man than I or anyone at the publisher's. I think it reflects the content of the book and my experiences well enough, and is an acceptable pun on words that have gone through my head during games on more than a few thousand occasions.

[imp]

Aaaaand we're back for another season, even though the temperatures are in the 30s and everyone's left town because the school holidays in Hessen have just started. Three games, and probably the nicest exchange I had all weekend was with the coach I'd earlier shown the red card to...

[imp]

Can't just write up the games when I'm wronged, have to write up when I'm wrong too.

[Sporting]

Very honest write-up.

[imp]

Thank you, Sporting.

[treibeis]

Just watched the last 20 minutes of a seventh-tier game behind where I work.

Right, they've now got this snazzy multi-purpose astroturf pitch. Because it's multi-purpose, it's got loads of different-coloured lines on it. It's ugly, yes, but it can be useful for offside decisions, as it helps you to see where players are.

The visitors' fourth goal was clearly onside. Even I, from almost at the corner flag, could see that, because of the multi-purpose lines. The linesman could see it because, well, he's a linesman on the touchline.

Yet it still went off. Three outfield defenders plus the goalkeeper made a beeline for the linesman. Two of them did that thing that Ellen White does when she scores. All of them shouted. One of them was bald, fat and slow enough to be in his mid-thirties. All of them, but particularly him, should have known better.

It's seventh-tier local football. It's a balmy August evening. Everybody present is there because they want to be, otherwise they'd be watching Eintracht against Bayern on the telly. What the fuck is wrong with them?

[elguapo4]

Just watched the last 20 minutes of a seventh-tier game behind where I work.

Right, they've now got this snazzy multi-purpose astroturf pitch. Because it's multi-purpose, it's got loads of different-coloured lines on it. It's ugly, yes, but it can be useful for offside decisions, as it helps you to see where players are.

The visitors' fourth goal was clearly onside. Even I, from almost at the corner flag, could see that, because of the multi-purpose lines. The linesman could see it because, well, he's a linesman on the touchline.

Yet it still went off. Three outfield defenders plus the goalkeeper made a beeline for the linesman. Two of them did that thing that Ellen White does when she scores. All of them shouted. One of them was bald, fat and slow enough to be in his mid-thirties. All of them, but particularly him, should have known better.

It's seventh-tier local football. It's a balmy August evening. Everybody present is there because they want to be, otherwise they'd be watching Eintracht against Bayern on the telly. What the fuck is wrong with them?

They fucked up,they're guilty, and they're the type of cnuts on any team who can't admit either of the above

[imp]

Just watched the last 20 minutes of a seventh-tier game behind where I work.

Right, they've now got this snazzy multi-purpose astroturf pitch. Because it's multi-purpose, it's got loads of different-coloured lines on it. It's ugly, yes, but it can be useful for offside decisions, as it helps you to see where players are.

The visitors' fourth goal was clearly onside. Even I, from almost at the corner flag, could see that, because of the multi-purpose lines. The linesman could see it because, well, he's a linesman on the touchline.

Yet it still went off. Three outfield defenders plus the goalkeeper made a beeline for the linesman. Two of them did that thing that Ellen White does when she scores. All of them shouted. One of them was bald, fat and slow enough to be in his mid-thirties. All of them, but particularly him, should have known better.

It's seventh-tier local football. It's a balmy August evening. Everybody present is there because they want to be, otherwise they'd be watching Eintracht against Bayern on the telly. What the fuck is wrong with them?

This scene seems kind of familiar.

I'd like to say that three straight red cards would have sorted it out, but they wouldn't.

[imp]

Reffing Hell is officially published today by Halcyon, if I may beg you just one more time to buy it and support independent publishing. There's also a promo video on YouTube as I falteringly attempt to sell it to the world at large, including footage of me in top reffing action, dishing out discipline and the like.

As if that's not excitement enough, here's the latest blog post from this weekend's games, where I chat over the barrier with some wise old men.

[Foot of Astaire's]

As if that's not excitement enough, here's the latest blog post from this weekend's games, where I chat over the barrier with some wise old men.

It's not hard to think which Clive Thomas decision an Everton fan would still be upset about!

If I've remembered correctly Imp, you've refereed in 3 different countries? Do you notice any differences in players and crowd behaviour, or anything unique to a particular country or are we all hard done to, whinge bags, the world over?

[treibeis]

Reffing Hell is officially published today by Halcyon, if I may beg you just one more time to buy it and support independent publishing. There's also a promo video on YouTube as I falteringly attempt to sell it to the world at large, including footage of me in top reffing action, dishing out discipline and the like.

As if that's not excitement enough, here's the latest blog post from this weekend's games, where I chat over the barrier with some wise old men.

As I've said before, I’ll buy it. Unless I have to buy it via Amazon/credit card. Then I won't buy it.

[imp]

As I've said before, I’ll buy it. Unless I have to buy it via Amazon/credit card. Then I won't buy it.

The link above is to buy it direct from the publisher. You can also get it through WSC. It's not worth it for many small publishers to have a distribution deal because that slashes the price they get by 50% and they make no money at all. All just to get one copy in certain branches of Waterstones, possibly. But Waterstones are apparently half empty right now because their new buying software is fucked, or something, and they haven't been able to buy any new stock. A thread for Books, perhaps, sometime.

[imp]

It's not hard to think which Clive Thomas decision an Everton fan would still be upset about!

If I've remembered correctly Imp, you've refereed in 3 different countries? Do you notice any differences in players and crowd behaviour, or anything unique to a particular country or are we all hard done to, whinge bags, the world over?

I just watched the highlights of that game. I can remember listening to it on the radio in the kitchen and running through to tell my mum and dad in the living room every time there was a goal. I think they were watching Grandstand, can't think what else it would have been on a Saturday afternoon, but eventually they yelled at me to stop running in and disturbing their Saturday afternoon peace.

I've only reffed in the US (tolerable, but mainly youth games, though plenty of moaning and idiotic adult coaches and dumbfuck parents) and Germany (see blogs and posts passim). I reffed one game in Ireland. It was supposed to be for fun, as part of an academic conference in Dublin, involving the local alternative amateur soccer scene. But, guess what, the players started to get narkie in that too.

[Patrick Thistle]

https://twitter.com/refsupportuk/status/1557641014042660865?t=NJWFLctn5dQt-4U6unsIbw&s=19

[Sporting]

I think that I know the answer to this but still: in a penalty shoot out a team who needs to score to keep alive has their shot saved by the keeper who runs ecstatically towards their teammates but the spin on the ball has meant that the ball is now heading in the direction of the goal. One non-playing substitute of the apparently winning side realises what's going on and clears the ball away before it possibly goes in. Penalty retaken and yellow card?

[imp]

Back to the blog: it's a corner. It's also halftime. You'll never guess what happens next.

[Foot of Astaire's]

Back to the blog: it's a corner. It's also halftime. You'll never guess what happens next.

Talk about a rock and a hard place. I can just imagine the abuse if you'd let them take the corner and then 'done a Clive Thomas' on em!

[imp]

'The Romance and the Rain (and the home coach is a pain)'. New blog post at RT.

[seand]

Before our u13 match on Saturday the ref gave a (sort of) useful overview of throw ins for the kids. Ball behind and over the head, two feet on the ground, all that good stuff. And both feet behind the touchline. Maybe I'd missed an update to the laws of the game but I was sure it was on or behind the line. It wasn't worth querying, but anyway it appears our overly fussy ref with a foul throw fetish didn't even know the bloomin rule


Procedure

At the moment of delivering the ball, the thrower must:

• stand facing the field of play
• have part of each foot on the touchline or on the ground outside the touchline
• throw the ball with both hands from behind and over the head from the point where it left the field of play

[imp]

Yep, it's on or behind the line. It may not surprise you to know that there are a lot of referees who don't know the laws. Our twice-monthly online exams are a pain in the pipe, and ask a lot of stupid or poorly phrased questions, but over time I've noticed that they've been really helpful at instilling the more obscure laws in my brain.

[imp]

For German speakers: a really nice review in today's Frankfurter Rundschau of the blog and the book.

[treibeis]

For German speakers: a really nice review in today's Frankfurter Rundschau of the blog and the book.

Congratulations on the review.

I'd never heard "Körper!" before. I might start shouting it at random during matches. Minigolf matches.

I used to play with a great big cumbersome defender who, after being penalised for pushing a forward from behind/putting both hands on a forward's shoulder/headbutting the back of a forward's head/all three simultaneously, would stand over his prostrate victim, feign innocence and yell "Unterlaufen!"

[imp]

Not heard that one before, and not even sure how it would make sense. Roughly the equivalent of, "He fell over!"?

I agree there should definitely be more use of Körper in mini-golf matches.

[treibeis]

Not heard that one before, and not even sure how it would make sense. Roughly the equivalent of, "He fell over!"?

"Make a back".

[seand]

Another weekend of Dublin underage football, another referee telling players to keep both feet behind the line for throws. Same ref controlled a feisty game very well though, including what I suspect was a gloriously pragmatic final whistle. With the home team 2-1 down a home defender jumped into a rash tackle in the penalty area. Probably a pen and a second yellow for a player who'd just been booked. Ref blew the whistle, looked to be pointing to the spot, then pointed to the centre and added another couple of peeps. Away team get their win, no need to send off a 14 year old, no fulminating outrage about the probable penalty