Person of the week - Avram Grant

[dotmund]

Excerpts from The Life of Avram Grant LL.D. by his biographer, Stephen Sidwell

(Grant on continental Europe)
Following an unsatisfactory trip to the Bosphorus, I introduced the topic of Europe to Doctor Grant. GRANT. "A day or two in Europe every fortnight is desirable for a gentleman of standing." SIDWELL. "Would you ever consider moving to live there on a full-time basis?" GRANT. "When a man is tired of the English Premier League, he is tired of money."

Later, the discussion turned to the forthcoming European Champions' League Final and the prospects for him therein. Dr. Grant was anxious to point out that whilst the event remained a priority, he considered the focus on it alone "vulgar". GRANT. "I do not fear losing the Champions' League. I just do not want to be in Moscow when it happens."

I attempted to continue the conversation. He was so provoked that he said "Give me no more of this"; and was thrown into such a state of agitation that he promptly called on his contract lawyers and the Chairman of the LMA.

It continues like this for several pages until Guus Hiddink becomes available again.

[EIM]

Person of the week - Avram Grant

I'm enjoying Avram Grant a lot this season. He's very likeable, if recent OTF threads are anything to go by. Is this due to his gross ineptitude? Chelsea seem to be succeeding despite him.

Do you think that after each team talk, Terry and Lampard huddle the players up and say summat like, "Ignore what he just said, just remember The Lessons of Mourinho."?

[My Name Is Ian]

Person of the week - Avram Grant

I have a mental image of him, bound and gagged in the corner of the changing room while Roman Abramovich gives the team talk.

I like the phrase, "When a man is tired of the English Premier League, he is tired of money" there, by the way, Edmund.

[dalliance]

Person of the week - Avram Grant

I've got a lot of sympathy for Grant, he seems to be vilified for just not being Mourinho.

By all accounts Chelsea were exceptionally unlucky last night. The manner in which Turkish sides travel in Europe, you'd have to think they Chelsea are still firm favourites for the semi finals. They are still in the title race too, no-one could make allowances for the season that Ronaldo has had to keep Manchester United ahead of them.

[Spearmint Rhino]

Person of the week - Avram Grant

Who wrote that thing?

[Nico Rijnders]

Person of the week - Avram Grant

Avram Grant sounds an awful lot like Bollo from The Mighty Boosh.

[dotmund]

Person of the week - Avram Grant

I wrote it and drew it. I'm multi-talented. Sadly, I can't wipe my own arse.

[EIM]

Person of the week - Avram Grant

I demand you and BDG have a draw off. It could be like an old Western, but with felt tips instead of guns.

[Er Liquidatore]

Person of the week - Avram Grant

Haha, you've totally ruined him for me now, you bastard.

[dotmund]

Person of the week - Avram Grant

EIM, it struck me the other day that a team like Chelsea can afford anybody that they want, surely they could get the very best manager out there if they wanted. Then I remembered that they sacked him.

[Guest]

Person of the week - Avram Grant

I like Avram Grant. When a TV camera trains on him during a game, I like the way his face gives away that he cannot quite believe any of it is happening and he will be woken up soon to get on with his real job.

[Nocturnal Submission]

Person of the week - Avram Grant

That's a terrific picture of AG, Dotmund. It really captures the put-upon bloodhoundliness of his physiognomy.

[Guest]

Person of the week - Avram Grant

I really like him. I think he shows personality and humour whenever he's interviewed. And I bet he's a lot smarter than everyone thinks, too.

[dotmund]

Person of the week - Avram Grant

Lyra, I agree with all of this. I think he's keenly aware of the utter absurdity of his position.

Nocturnal Submission, thank you. Maybe I should do Harry Redknapp next week and then they could have a jowl-off...

[Guest]

Person of the week - Avram Grant

The man himself seems quite personable, it's just that he's clearly not up to the job. Zico changed the game last night with Kazim Richards. Grant looked at Kalou, SWP, Anelka and Mikel next to him and couldn't do the same.

[My Name Is Ian]

Person of the week - Avram Grant

Well, he's doing alright at the moment...

[Guest]

Person of the week - Avram Grant

He described an FA Cup quarter final as 'only a big game because we lost.' If that is truly his attitude maybe that's the reason he lost?

[Guest]

Person of the week - Avram Grant

Zico changed the game last night with Kazim Richards. Grant looked at Kalou, SWP, Anelka and Mikel next to him and couldn't do the same.

From half an hour of highlights (which admittedly is not enough to make a cast-iron judgment on), Chelsea appeared to make enough chances to win two games, with Ballack in particular guilty of some bad finishing. Fenerbahce's winner was a wonder-strike from halfway down the pitch, the kind of goal no manager in the world can do anything about.

Chelsea were dropping points all over the shop when Jose Mourinho was sacked and, if Grant really were a bad manager, they would now be where Aston Villa or Man City are in the table. When he came in, everybody thought they were going to finish 4th or 5th at best.

He's done a good solid job but he's being derided for not being Mourinho. The other week, against Arsenal, his two substitutions turned the game Chelsea's way, yet the following day the press was full of stuff about those tactical changes being "a roll of the dice", all being described in terms of random flukey chance rather than a deliberate switch. If Mourinho had made those changes and won the game he would have been praised to the skies, and rightly so.

A lot of the abuse that Grant receives basically comes from the fact that he looks a bit weird.

[Guest]

Person of the week - Avram Grant

Grant made the right choices against Arsenal but he's made the wrong choices in a lot of big games now. What happened last night was that at half time Zico changed things and from then on in they were in a game that, as you stated, should have been done and dusted. Grant can't do anything about missed chances but he should have seen then that things had changed and been able to regain the initiative. Wonder goal that the winner was, in the first half they didn't get that much space anywhere in the Chelsea half.

I didn't say he was a bad manager, I just don't think he's got the tactical guile required at the absolute top of the game. Good solid job is surely not what the club was looking for?

Saying all that, with me it's not that he's not Mourinho, it's that he's not Vialli! Where's the great entertainment that was promised as the reason Mourinho was sacked?

What's that about football fans being a mass of contradictions?