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At least it rhymes

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    At least it rhymes

    My Name Is Ian dug this up on Twitter a little while ago. It's pretty special.

    THE MIRACLE OF ISTANBUL

    *Clears Throat...*

    The heads were down,
    And their eyes were glazed,
    It had just gone half time,
    The players looked dazed.

    The dressing room fell silent,
    Their chances were blown,
    In the distance the fans sang,
    You’ll Never Walk Alone.

    The players heads lifted,
    And they found new belief,
    They sought inspiration,
    From their Spanish chief.

    But this man remained calm,
    For he had a plan,
    To score three goals,
    Past the mighty Milan.

    “Can you hear that singing?
    This game’s in your hands,
    Go get your pride back,
    Do it for the fans“.

    The players went out,
    Full of passion and heart,
    They could barely wait
    For the second half start.

    The whistle blew,
    And this story began,
    Of how our Incredibles,
    Beat AC Milan.

    It began with our Captain,
    The great Stevie G,
    And some pride was restored,
    But we still needed three.

    And next up was Vlad,
    A sweet strike - It went in,
    Milan were now rocking,
    We can actually win!

    And then like slow motion,
    In the box - Stevie G,
    But a badly timed tackle,
    The ref blows - Penalty!

    Alonso stepped forward,
    Placed the ball on the spot,
    Looked the keeper in the eye,
    His stomach in knots.

    A long precise run up,
    The keeper goes down,
    To save Xabi’s penalty,
    Smiles turn into frowns.

    But Xabi’s still running,
    And he gets there first,
    To smash the ball home,
    And our fears are dispersed.

    With the game locked at three-three,
    The reds now dig deep,
    As Milan come back at them,
    Forward they sweep.

    Near the final minutes,
    The reds are unlocked,
    Shevchenko must score,
    But then much to our shock.

    Jerzy dives down,
    And then raises an arm,
    To turn the ball over,
    And clear it from harm.

    He then winks at Carra,
    Like it was part of a plan,
    Nobody can believe it,
    Especially Milan.

    The whistle is blown,
    And it’s penalty kicks,
    It’s all down to the two men,
    Between the sticks.

    Dida is strong,
    And looms large in his goal,
    But Dudek can dance,
    He’s got rhythm and soul.

    Shevchenko steps forward,
    The worlds numbers one,
    But his shot is saved,
    Milan’s chances are gone.

    Now the reds go wild,
    And the party can start,
    For this team dressed in red,
    Had shown passion and heart.

    And all round the world,
    Those who had seen it live,
    Just watched in surprise,
    As we won number five.

    The captain stepped forward,
    Liverbird on his chest,
    And lifted Old Big Ears,
    To crown Europe’s best.

    But in one mans mind,
    Was just one thought,
    Rafa knew why,
    His redmen had fought.

    The answer was there,
    In front of his face,
    40,000 fanatics,
    Had taken over the place.

    It was their half-time song,
    They had played their part,
    And so Rafa walks on,
    With hope in his heart.
    Source: http://www.redandwhitekop.com/forum/index.php?topic=72178.0

    #2
    At least it rhymes

    We're coming in to land at Speke
    My knees are knocking, feeling weak
    Now Rafa's walked, I have to warn
    Soon the coach will be some berk from Larne

    Comment


      #3
      At least it rhymes

      There's also this one, on the occasion of Rafa's departure

      Comment


        #4
        At least it rhymes

        That last one's a rewrite of Creedence's blues classic, Penthouse Pauper.

        I forgot to credit big Tosh for the Speke/ weak couplet above.

        Comment


          #5
          At least it rhymes

          Half time comes
          They're 3-0 down
          We all agree, Rafa's a clown

          Drinks passed around
          Let's celebrate
          But Ms Felicity says 'hesitate'

          She hates Gerrard
          Like one and all
          But wants him to score when he grabs the ball..?

          No place for pity
          In whatever city

          This spontaneous poetic outburst is inspired by the fact that my missus took pity on L'pool, at half time, when we were living in Madrid and she'd FORGOTTEN what it was like in Britain, when an English team gets to a Euro final and wanted the 1st L'pool goal to go in so their fans 'didn't have such a bad time of it'.

          #all her fault

          #never forgive, never forget

          Comment


            #6
            At least it rhymes

            Does anyone know that air the the song is sung to?

            It vaguely reminds me of the version of Kevin Barry I wrote a couple of years ago. I'd love to find it again. It would be a very brave man that would sing that song. It was very offensive.

            Comment


              #7
              At least it rhymes

              The absolute oddballs. A weird, cult like institution top to bottom. Scientology with a parrot on its chest.

              Comment


                #8
                At least it rhymes

                The Awesome Berbaslug!!! wrote: Does anyone know that air the the song is sung to?
                I'm going for "Bad Moon Rising."

                Comment


                  #9
                  At least it rhymes

                  Gives John Toshack's book of poems a run for its money, eh?

                  Comment


                    #10
                    At least it rhymes

                    EIM wrote

                    with a parrot on its chest.
                    It's a cormorant. Oldham's owl looks a bit like a surprised parrot, mind you.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      At least it rhymes

                      I just sent the first poem to my former deskmate, who's well in to his "englische Fankultur".

                      The line “And lifted Old Big Ears, to crown Europe’s best.” has put him in a foul mood.

                      As I write, I can hear him in the corner. “Old Big Ears. Scheiß Old Big Ears. Arschlöcher. Absolute Arschlöcher.”

                      Comment


                        #12
                        At least it rhymes

                        EIM wrote: The absolute oddballs. A weird, cult like institution top to bottom. Scientology with a parrot on its chest.
                        If anyone had ever wondered what would have resulted if William McGonagall was into football . . .

                        Comment


                          #13
                          At least it rhymes

                          Expecting BIG things.

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