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    Yevhen Konoplyanka Wades In

    EDIT: Removed
    Last edited by Your Usual Table; 02-11-2021, 14:17.

    #2
    Yevhen Konoplyanka Wades In

    There's also the slight difference in quality of life between Sevilla and say, Sunderland or Stoke

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      #3
      Yevhen Konoplyanka Wades In

      He's right. Not ursus, Konoplyanka. Well, ursus is as well, predictably.

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        #4
        Yevhen Konoplyanka Wades In

        oh how will the premier league survive without a player from the country that gave us Andrei Shevchenko, Sergei Rebrov and andrei Voronin. Truly the premier league built their global brand on the back of these brilliant players.

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          #5
          Yevhen Konoplyanka Wades In

          Shevchenko was ace.

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            #6
            Yevhen Konoplyanka Wades In

            He was the only chelsea player who could legitimately park in disabled spaces.

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              #7
              Yevhen Konoplyanka Wades In

              Chelsea Schmelsea. The guy scored 48 Champions League goals.

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                #8
                Yevhen Konoplyanka Wades In

                Berbaslug has always sort of, kinda, looked like Greg Dyke, but seeing him turn into the man is rather troubling.

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                  #9
                  Yevhen Konoplyanka Wades In

                  Chelsea Schmelsea. The guy scored 48 Champions League goals.

                  Probably arranged for him by Silvio, who clearly wanted to devour his beauty. he got 28 goals in 40 games in his last season at milan, and three months later, surrounded by premier league players, he looked like he needed oxygen after 15 minutes of every game.

                  Rebrov spent four years hiding in his semi in cockfosters, peering out his window at the black teenagers from the end of the road.

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                    #10
                    Yevhen Konoplyanka Wades In

                    Kanchelskis was technically Ukrainian as well.

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                      #11
                      Yevhen Konoplyanka Wades In

                      Bored of Education wrote: Kanchelskis was technically Ukrainian as well.
                      He was very much a USSR player though.

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                        #12
                        Yevhen Konoplyanka Wades In

                        He wasn't injured when he signed for chelsea though. It just turned out that you could score 28 goals in 40 games for milan and have a reputation for being able to run really fast, without actually being able to move.

                        We later found out that Milan and juventus had been fixing the league he was playing in, so that juventus could hoover up the titles, while Milan could concentrate on winning the CL.

                        whether it was that, or whether or not he was deprived of the magical powers of Milanello he aged suddenly, or maybe he took up heroin during the summer holiday.

                        Either way the premier league has not exactly been an arena where ukrainian footballers have done anything other than incite the rage of their own fans.

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                          #13
                          Yevhen Konoplyanka Wades In

                          This is a comedy act, right? Like Al Murray the Pub Landlord?

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                            #14
                            Yevhen Konoplyanka Wades In

                            not really. in May 2006 shevchenko was a 7 goal in 10 games striker, by august he was a goal every seven games killing machine, who made Falcao look like sergio aguero. It turned out that he actually couldn't do it on a wet november night in stoke. Or on a sunny august afternoon in west london either.

                            At least falcao had the excuse of blowing out his knee to explain the drop off in form.

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                              #15
                              Yevhen Konoplyanka Wades In

                              konoplyanka was keen enough to move to the premier league 18 months ago when liverpool and spurs were trying to sign him. but by the time his club was prepared to sell him, nobody good in england wanted him. now he's in spain earning half of what he could have earned in england, provided of course that sevilla actually pay his wages, which has been a sticky issue for them in the recent past. so i'm not surprised he feels the need to convince himself that things really have worked out for the best.

                              what interests me here is ursus' idea that the quality of life is obviously so much better in sevilla than in somewhere like stoke or sunderland. i've been to all three places and i agree that central sevilla, though a bit of a one-horse town, would have a definite edge on the other two. realistically, though, football players in the north of england don't actually live in the decaying hearts of the industrial cities, but in big houses in the surrounding countryside. the quality of life in those places is pretty good - easy access to the best of everything in life. admittedly the weather is colder, forcing you to wear more clothes, though you also avoid uncomfortable extremes of heat. i can't imagine having to wear clothes being too much of an imposition for a boy who grew up in central ukraine, but who can say.

                              i suppose it's a trade-off. i'm not sure i'd be willing to sacrifice half my income for the sake of living in sevilla rather than co. durham. in my perhaps mercenary case it'd have to be some mega quality of life difference. realistically, there'd have to have been a nuclear meltdown somewhere close to my prospective farmhouse in durham. still, everyone is different. maybe konoplyanka really is that into sunshine and freshly picked oranges that he'll gladly pay €2 million a year to have them.

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                                #16
                                Yevhen Konoplyanka Wades In

                                Shevchenko was a veteran coming for a bit of pre-retirement lucre. See also Crespo. They are not sound basis to judge the quality of the leagues.

                                As for Konoplynaka and ursus, as if any of the Stoke players live within sight of Stoke! They will all be in Alderley Edge and other such swanky Chesire towns and villages. Those are nearer Stoke than they are to Liverpool, for example. Which still don't compare to Sevilla, I'll grant, but the step isn't as distinct.
                                I assume there are similar Footballer towns in the North-East where Newcastle and Sunderland players don't have to put up with the oiks who support them.

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                                  #17
                                  Yevhen Konoplyanka Wades In

                                  Dublin man describes Sevilla as one horse town.

                                  Film at 11.

                                  It's actually significantly more common for top footballers on the Continent to live in the cities they play in, rather than in faux Tudor sets for reality shows.

                                  ursus minor was at school with a number of kids of Eintracht players, and pretty much everyone who played for Inter or Milan while we living there either lived in the centre or on Lake Como (largely because of the location of their training grounds).

                                  I would posit that the Anglo version of "the best of everything in life" is not necessarily universal.

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                                    #18
                                    Yevhen Konoplyanka Wades In

                                    sevilla is a dried-up desert backwater that's been in decline for 400 years. it's not a great city just because the sun shines. i think on balance i'd rather live in doha.

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                                      #19
                                      Yevhen Konoplyanka Wades In

                                      ursus arctos wrote: I would posit that the Anglo version of "the best of everything in life" is not necessarily universal.
                                      As if all those Premiership Footballers living in Alderley Edge are Anglos...

                                      The set up in England differs is all. The essential offering of a very comfortable middle class area where people can be wealthy without hassle exists in Spain, Italy, Germany, England, etc.

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                                        #20
                                        Yevhen Konoplyanka Wades In

                                        garcia wrote: sevilla is a dried-up desert backwater that's been in decline for 400 years. it's not a great city just because the sun shines. i think on balance i'd rather live in doha.
                                        Ah, I thought for a moment you were being serious.

                                        Don't underestimate the lure of a good climate, either. In my relatively short time living in Madrid I already see a huge difference in my general mood and levels of contentment due to living in a city where the sun shines for pretty much ten months of the year as opposed to the rest of my life living in and around Manchester, where is pisses down for the same amount of time.

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                                          #21
                                          Yevhen Konoplyanka Wades In

                                          garcia lives in Dublin though, so, I'm not- ha- surprised he feels the need to convince himself that things really have worked out for the best.

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                                            #22
                                            Yevhen Konoplyanka Wades In

                                            what's a good climate though? sevilla is europe's hottest city. i would say it has an extreme climate. the climate is so terrible that the people have no choice but to sleep through the middle of the day.

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                                              #23
                                              Yevhen Konoplyanka Wades In

                                              Don't underestimate the lure of a good climate, either. In my relatively short time living in Madrid I already see a huge difference in my general mood and levels of contentment due to living in a city where the sun shines for pretty much ten months of the year as opposed to the rest of my life living in and around Manchester, where is pisses down for the same amount of time.

                                              it doesn't actually rain very much in manchester. It's just overcast a lot of the time, and pretending it's going to rain a lot. and as you point out, that can make a huge difference to your mood.

                                              Madrid is an odd city though. It's built in a desert, in a bowl in the mountains. It's 2000 feet in the air, which is higher than all but four peaks in england. Isn't it supposed to be oppressively hot in the summer, and desperately cold in the winter? (and I appreciate that this might be heaven sent to someone who rarely saw more than a 10 degree difference between summer and winter.)

                                              I don't understand how that would matter to a footballer though. They have a short time to make as big a ball of cash as possible, everywhere you live is basically going to be the same, and all you're really supposed to be doing, apart from having one meal a week out with the missus, is resting and staying in, playing computer games online with your teammates.

                                              So basically you're looking for somewhere with good broadband, and at least one restaurant that caters to multimillionaires. I think there's a lot of places that can offer that.

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                                                #24
                                                Yevhen Konoplyanka Wades In

                                                ursus arctos wrote: There's also the slight difference in quality of life between Sevilla and say, Sunderland or Stoke
                                                Somehow it doesn't feel like it's been over six years since this parish concluded that only the "Great Unifying Tapas Theory" could possibly explain why the alleged top, top, top players Kaká (age 27) and Ronaldo (age 24) would want to move to the footballing backwater of Real Madrid.

                                                Had we not just seen them cutting a swathe through their domestic and European competitions? Kaká had just reached his highest-ever domestic league goal total. Ronaldo had just won the Ballon d'Or, a year after scoring over 40 goals, including the opener in a Champions League final.

                                                And yet. There they were, ready to go into "footballing retirement." (wasn't this the phrase used?) Data points were assembled quickly yet with utmost care, and a multi-variate regression led to the Great Unifying Tapas Theory: swarthy money-grubbing agents had tricked them, and they were going to Madrid for the weather, the tapas, and the women (also the lack of leg-breaking tackles, but that's because secretly they were gutless and budgie-hearted, as we'd suspected all along). And let's not forget about the Madeira Corollary!

                                                Six short years.

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                                                  #25
                                                  Yevhen Konoplyanka Wades In

                                                  Pleasantly mild in the middle of winter though, I suppose. And Konoplyanka probably doesn't spend a whole load of time in places without air-conditioning. Basically the other end of the Stoke/Sunderland argument.

                                                  Anyway, that was ursus' point, not Konoplyanka's, which was about the technical level of football. Konolplyanka is from Kirovohrad in Ukraine, sure he wouldn't need to break out the smelling salts if he fetched up at Sunderland.

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