Jermain Defoe can't get the staff

[SouthdownRebel]

Sunderland's diminutive goal-getter needs your help - Apply today!

He's not asking for much. Alongside "create a global brand for the Jermain Defoe name" is:

Regularly checking the home when Jermain is away, making sure all is in place for his return i.e. fridge is stocked and plants watered and house is clean.

And yes, you did read the name of that site correctly.

[Jah Womble]

Jermain Defoe can't get the staff

From 'creating a global brand' to 'stocking the fridge while Jermain is away' - that's one broad bill of duties, to say the least. The latter particularly seems a bit rich, given how likely Sunderland are to play in Europe.

I mean, if I'm busting my ass trying to turn him into the next Beckham, he can buy his own bloody Yakult.

[My Name Is Ian]

Jermain Defoe can't get the staff

JD'oe.

There we go, Jermain. That'll be £100,000, please.

[Stumpy Pepys]

Jermain Defoe can't get the staff

Jah Womble wrote: From 'creating a global brand' to 'stocking the fridge while Jermain is away' - that's one broad bill of duties, to say the least.

"Producing his own iphone apps"

Blimey, do you have to able to write Objective-C as well, when you're not feeding the dogs?

[evilC]

Jermain Defoe can't get the staff

[Crusoe]

Jermain Defoe can't get the staff

On the subject of building global Jermaine brands, is the BBC trying to build up Jermaine Jenas' profile? He was on Would I Lie To You for no apparent reason other than to be a foil for gags involving Germaine Greer on the other team.

[Jah Womble]

Jermain Defoe can't get the staff

Blimey - Jenas on WILTY? I'd heard he'd been 'selected' to appear on Time Crashers - the BBC's latest 'get-paid-thousands-to-do-stuff-like-what-they-used-to-do-in-that-history' series. (Because there really haven't been enough of those, oh no.)

I guess Defoe must be after his own slice of this particular strudel. But then I imagine all footballers must be thinking 'if Robbie Savage can get away with it, so can I'. Which would be fair enough comment.

[gavc23]

Jermain Defoe can't get the staff

I wonder if Mrs Defoe and the little Defoes are impressed that he's trying to outsource his need to buy them birthday presents.

For £60k I'll spend an hour in Toys R Us

[Snake Plissken]

Jermain Defoe can't get the staff

gavc23 wrote: For £60k I'll spend an hour in Toys R Us

That amount is at the bottom end of my personal scale.

[Amor de Cosmos]

Jermain Defoe can't get the staff

Jah Womble wrote: Blimey - Jenas on WILTY? I'd heard he'd been 'selected' to appear on Time Crashers - the BBC's latest 'get-paid-thousands-to-do-stuff-like-what-they-used-to-do-in-that-history' series. (Because there really haven't been enough of those, oh no.)

I watched Time Crashers and, so far as these things go, I thought Jenas was OK. Articulate, moderately intelligent, eager to learn, and far less up himself than most footballers are when required to open their mouths. Of course he might turn into Joey Barton II when he's bedded in a bit.

[Jah Womble]

Jermain Defoe can't get the staff

Oh, I kind of 'get' his appearance on Time Crashers (which I've not seen) - after all, Neil Ruddock et al have done I'm a Celebrity. Let's just say that I was more surprised at the producers of WILTY?.

Yes, Jenas does come across as more considered and articulate than most footballers. He's just not over-blessed with personality.

Just looking forward to Defoe's Question Time debut now.

[Borracho]

Jermain Defoe can't get the staff

These people are absolute babies.

Remember Crespo at Chelsea years ago and his whiny refusal to pay his utility bills because he thought the club should be doing it for him?

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

Jermain Defoe can't get the staff

The main part of the job also includes "looking after the day-to-day needs of Jermain's mother", who he apparently lives with.

Fucking hell, one can only imagine what that might involve.

[ian.64]

Jermain Defoe can't get the staff

That's one bit of WSC's football world domination column sorted for the next issue, then.

[Ek weet nie]

Jermain Defoe can't get the staff

Am I the only one here who thinks this is quite reasonable? The ad is as overblown as most recruitment ads are nowadays in any sector but if I was in Defoe's position I would be employing a PA. For a high earning individual with multiple properties it is pretty standard.

[Stumpy Pepys]

Jermain Defoe can't get the staff

Ek weet nie wrote: Am I the only one here who thinks this is quite reasonable?

I don't think it's unreasonable for him to hire an assistant. It's just the randomly disparate number of skills he requires from this person.

[Toby Gymshorts]

Jermain Defoe can't get the staff

Yeah, but a PA who can write iPhone apps and organise Bonfire Night?

He wants the moon on a stick, Stu.

[SouthdownRebel]

Jermain Defoe can't get the staff

Looks like the ad has been taken down. Position filled or a case of managing the Jermain Defoe brand after embarrassing press coverage?

[Mr Beast]

Jermain Defoe can't get the staff

I start on Monday.

[SouthdownRebel]

Jermain Defoe can't get the staff

I hope you've got a good pair of marigolds

[Stumpy Pepys]

Jermain Defoe can't get the staff

SouthdownRebel wrote: I hope you've got a good pair of marigolds

And a social media strategy.

[Jah Womble]

Jermain Defoe can't get the staff

I don't (didn't) think that placing the ad was unreasonable, but it was poorly-worded and hugely unrealistic. Expect it to return with some of the 'requirements' amended.

[hank williams]

Jermain Defoe can't get the staff

He could give them all his earnings and they still wouldn't be able to create a global brand around an over the hill Sunderland player.

[Jah Womble]

Jermain Defoe can't get the staff

Well, yes - that's the other problem.

[Stumpy Pepys]

Jermain Defoe can't get the staff

What do you think a Jermaine Defoe iPhone app would do, out of interest?