You Are The IFAB

[ursus arctos]

You Are The IFAB

(I want to make football worse, I want to destroy it.)

beak, are you familiar with Jon Bois' "Breaking Madden" series?

It's gridiron, but would appeal to your sensibilities in this respect.

[Guy Profumo]

You Are The IFAB

blameless wrote: Change the offside rule back to what it was before all this "phases of play" shit was introduced:

- only one opponent between you and the goalline when the ball was played? Offside.

- two or more between you and the goalline? Onside.

- attacker is level with the second opponent? [strike]Onside[/strike]. Offside.

It's simple enough.

There. If you want it "changing back" I've corrected it for you.

[Mwnci]

You Are The IFAB

No rebounds at penalties. Same rules as a shoot-out, but if you miss restart with a goal-kick.

If you can't score from 12 yards you don't deserve the chance to smash the ball into an empty net from 6 inches and wheel away like you've scored a Goal of the Season contender.

Plus you wouldn't get any of that pushing and jostling on the edge of the box and penalties retaken on random occasions.

[beak]

You Are The IFAB

ursus arctos wrote:

(I want to make football worse, I want to destroy it.)

beak, are you familiar with Jon Bois' "Breaking Madden" series?

It's gridiron, but would appeal to your sensibilities in this respect.

Yes! Absolutely love it, marrying as it does absurd sports-based thought experiments and abusing equipment to the point of glitching.

[blameless]

You Are The IFAB

There. If you want it "changing back" I've corrected it for you.

No you haven't. There was a 15-year window between "in-line is now onside" and the "phases" nonsense; that's when the rule worked best.

[ursus arctos]

You Are The IFAB

Very much so.

I have very little time for gridiron, but find Bois' work to be fascinating.

[Guy Profumo]

You Are The IFAB

blameless wrote: There. If you want it "changing back" I've corrected it for you.

No you haven't. There was a 15-year window between "in-line is now onside" and the "phases" nonsense; that's when the rule worked best.

Even that's not good enough.

We need to change it back to three players!

[San Bernardhinault]

You Are The IFAB

My key two have already been mentioned:

Offside rule needs to be absolute, and simple. No phases of play. Anyone in an offside position is, by definition, interfering with play. (But I'd define level with the second opponent as onside).

And wrestling (or shirt-pulling) in the box in the build up to, or during, a corner or free-kick should be called as a foul, resulting in either a penalty or in a free kick for the defending team. It would be called as a foul at all other times, so why not on set pieces?

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

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jcsmfc wrote:

I've always thought penalties and free kicks should be taken by the player fouled.

This, absolutely. After all, that was the player apparently "denied" the goalscoring opportunity. So give that player the chance.

Another idea I'd be curious to see (just as an experiment, really) is allowing a player taking a throw-in to punt the ball, from his hands, upfield, like a 'keeper, instead of having to throw it in. You'd have to stop players standing right in front of that player, clearly (maybe a ten-yard rule) but it would get the ball right back into play and stop Arsenal sending three players into the corner to force a series of throw-ins with five minutes to go.

[Kowalski]

You Are The IFAB

1. Any player that appears on the "Wonderful tekkers, top banter" section of Soccer AM will earn a 3 match ban.

2. If a player moans about anything more than once his entire team will be dismissed, the opposition will be awarded a 3-0 victory.

3. Any hint of the banter from any party - the players, the crowd, the pundits - and the match will be abandoned and never replayed. The official records will say that both sides lost the match 3-0

4. If Clem is seen near a pitch the match will be abandoned and never replayed. The official records will say that both sides lost the match 8-0

5. Any club officials using social media to wind me up will be transported to the Antipodes.

[NHH]

You Are The IFAB

1) End presumption of innocence that goalkeepers have for any physical contact; they're not creeping wallflowers needing protection from brick-shithouse forwards anymore and use the presumption to enable an easy out for any passage of play that gets hairy in the 6 yard box.

2) Retrospective video review and penalties for fouls, simulation etc after matches.

[DCI Harry Batt]

You Are The IFAB

Bookings for any and every player who doesn't immediately retreat 10 yards when a free-kick is awarded to the opposition.

[Antepli Ejderha]

You Are The IFAB

Video challenge/review like in tennis, three per game or half. The video review in rugby is being used a bit too much now.

Referee to be able to stop the clock and when time is up there is a hooter, game cannot end on a foul.

Use of a sin bin and a blood bin to allow injured players treatment.

Physio allowed on at any time, drop ball of it hits them.

Drop ball if the ball hits the referee.

Reduce number of substitutes to 3 plus a keeper but they are rolling like in basketball. Reduce number so it doesn't become like rugby which is now a 23 player game.

Citing commissioner who can rule on anything that's happened, regardless of referee decision on the day.

Basically I've stolen good ideas from other sports.

[DCI Harry Batt]

You Are The IFAB

Video review is an awful, awful idea.

[Fussbudget]

You Are The IFAB

Antepli Ejderha wrote: Reduce number of substitutes to 3 plus a keeper but they are rolling like in basketball.

Nooooooo! The constant substitutions in handball annoy the shit out of me, especially subs that come off the bench just to take penalties. I think football's got it right on that one, actually. You've made some bold tactical substitutions and they're not paying off? Tough shit indeed.

No objection to limiting it to 4 subs, though I don't think one necessarily has to be a keeper. Mowbray was a big fan of not having a keeper on the bench, which always has the potential to provide unexpected entertainment.

[DCI Harry Batt]

You Are The IFAB

Yeah rolling subs is also a terrible idea.

[beak]

You Are The IFAB

If you took me back in time to the formation of the FA, I'd probably find myself on the side of Blackheath in being pro-hacking.

I am sincerely in favour of football becoming more violent.

[Big Boobs and FIRE!]

You Are The IFAB

I'd lift the ban on drugs, be they performance enhancing or recreational.

I can't think of an activity where having narcotics freely available to the participants, doesn't significantly enhance the experience for the spectator*.

*statement based purely on cycling and pornography.