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    Sex Addicks

    BBC report (not the viral video)

    Go on then, anyone ever had sex on a football pitch?

    #2
    Sex Addicks

    tell me more about this viral video.

    Comment


      #3
      Sex Addicks

      The video looks faked to me, the whole thing seems like a stunt.

      Comment


        #4
        Sex Addicks

        They are suspiciously fully clothed, it's true. She appears only to have taken her shoes off.

        Comment


          #5
          Sex Addicks

          It is about as big a non-event as someone breaking in to the Liverpool trophy room, isn't it? Petty crime with no cost.

          Comment


            #6
            Sex Addicks

            Yep, 'fake' they scream in unison. It's too clean. In every sense.

            Do better.

            Comment


              #7
              Sex Addicks

              The linked article is remarkably short on detail.

              Comment


                #8
                Sex Addicks

                The Serbian version of this (an international with his Playboy centrefold girlfriend in the centre circle) was much better.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Sex Addicks

                  predictably...

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Sex Addicks

                    I remember someone on one of Danny Baker's phone-ins, who persuaded his girlfriend to climb over the wall at Roker Park, so they could have sex in the centre circle.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Sex Addicks

                      I have an Orgasm Addick earworm now.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Sex Addicks

                        They're setting up a service where people can pay to have sex in the middle of a football pitch?

                        This country.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Sex Addicks

                          Aston Villa are launching a similar pitch hire scheme at Villa Park, allowing fans to pay to have sex in the away team's penalty area during games. It might as well be used for something.

                          Eh? Eh? I'm here all week.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Sex Addicks

                            I once broke into a football ground. Didn't bonk or owt though, just buzzed around the place like a giddy goat, then legged it from security ruining a pair of strides as I did so. Fucking burglar grease never washed out.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Sex Addicks

                              Love this thread. It makes me so sad to know it'll never make it past one page.

                              But Christ, what a daft promotion.

                              He's always at it, he's always at it

                              Comment


                                #16
                                Sex Addicks

                                The Ballad Of Lightbowne Lil wrote: I once broke into a football ground. Didn't bonk or owt though, just buzzed around the place like a giddy goat, then legged it from security ruining a pair of strides as I did so. Fucking burglar grease never washed out.
                                Go on, which ground?

                                Apparently Bury's groundsman once found a bloke practicing teeing off from the Cemetery End goalmouth with a 3 wood, with the pitch up to the Manchester Road End being his fairway.

                                Comment


                                  #17
                                  Sex Addicks

                                  We used to break into Swinton Lions ground on Station Road for a kickabout all the time.

                                  Comment


                                    #18
                                    Sex Addicks

                                    Me and some mates climbed into Parkhead amid a gargantuan all-day piss-up in Glasgow in 1993. It says much of the dishevelled state of the place at the time that there were no security people anywhere as we ambled about the place scoring imaginary goals.

                                    Comment


                                      #19
                                      Sex Addicks

                                      If you book their pitch for sex, is it for a set time period? Because unless the woman they provide looks exactly like my wife, I am likely to finish as good as immediately. Under those circumstances, I don't really want to be paying for a full hour.

                                      Comment


                                        #20
                                        Sex Addicks

                                        Why not?

                                        Dear Charlton

                                        We'd very interested in your pitch hire proposal! We play around regularly in South London and would be mad keen to have a go!

                                        We don't mind doing it in broad daylight or under cover of darkness. What's the situation with spectators? We'd like to bring a few along cos there's a crowd that likes to watch us regularly, hope that's OK?

                                        Please let me know about costs, terms and conditions etc - would we have to clean up after ourselves?

                                        Comment


                                          #21
                                          Sex Addicks

                                          Got a reply.

                                          Dear Lucinda,

                                          Thanks for your enquiry, show the world you’ve still got the old magic on one of football’s most famous grounds!

                                          Ever dreamt of booting a ball around Charlton’s hallowed turf? Well, dream no longer, because as of this May fans will be given the opportunity to do just that. And the good news is you don’t need to be on a Premier League player’s pay to afford it.

                                          But this exclusive offer is more than just a kick-about somewhere a bit special. Charlton’s exclusive Pitch Hire service means you get to experience a game just as the stars would. You’ll enter The Valley via the player’s entrance, before being welcomed into the actual changing rooms. Here you’ll pull on your shirt and shorts, before lining up in the tunnel. You’ll then take that spine-tingling walk out onto the pitch…

                                          And what a pitch! Last summer it was completely renovated at huge expense, and our playing surface is now regarded as one of the finest in all of English football.

                                          Your friends and family are welcome to share your big day too, and can cheer you on from either the dugouts or the stands. Imagine that – you weaving up the wing of a 27,000-seater stadium while your loved ones capture it all on camera!

                                          We’ll also lay on everything you need to make sure your experience is as close to a real match day as possible. That means a proper ref, stewards and first aid – complete with magic sponge!

                                          Prices and available dates are attached with full package information. There are also hospitality packages available, plus the possibility of hiring the pitch for half-a-day or a whole day– ideal for tournaments and corporate jollies alike!

                                          So what are you waiting for? Whether you’re the gaffer of your pub team, the captain of a corporate giant’s starting XI, or the hero who smashed home the winner in last season’s Kent Senior trophy, get in touch today! Slots are going fast so please be sure to book early.

                                          Let me know if you need any further information. But don’t worry you do not have to clean up after yourselves.

                                          See you at The Valley!

                                          Mark Hassan-Ali | Commercial Manager
                                          Charlton Athletic Football Club | The Valley | Floyd Road | London | SE7 8BL

                                          Comment


                                            #22
                                            Sex Addicks

                                            The Ballad Of Lightbowne Lil wrote: I once broke into a football ground. Didn't bonk or owt though, just buzzed around the place like a giddy goat, then legged it from security ruining a pair of strides as I did so. Fucking burglar grease never washed out.
                                            Me and Thing One cracked three different grounds in Germany in one day. Rot-Weiss Essen and VfL Bochum were easy pickings, but Schalke was the highlight - we had to get in via one of those access tunnels for emergency vehicles, Thing One bottled it halfway along and stood guard with the bags while I persevered. I chanced a photo towards the end of the tunnel, but forgot to knock the flash off and, in my anxious state it seemed the whole stadium lit up, so I started legging it back up the tunnel, to be joined by Thing One as he realised what was going on. We then had a wander round the training ground just as the players were finishing their session and saw two of them having a fight, with one eventually getting the other in a headlock, while Kevin Kuranyi stood watching, laughing. We went for pizza after that.

                                            It was possibly the greatest day of my life.

                                            Comment

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