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The International Inter-Species Football Mascot KO

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    The International Inter-Species Football Mascot KO

    Because there can never be enough mascot threads on OTF.

    I don't believe mascots follow strict biological taxonomy, so you can use a bit of leeway when pairing up contestants. I’ll accept bees vs wasps, for example, but I'm not having eagles vs robins or pandas vs bears.
    However, I'm going to disallow teams with real animal mascots (Köln, Lazio).


    #1 Devils: Manchester United's Fred the Red vs Milan's Milanello

    I don't know if successive design committees have contrived to make Fred less diabolic, but he looks about as satanic as a shaven squirrel. Milanello, on the other hand, looks like he'd be happy to let off some fireworks on the Curva Sud before a spot of bunga bunga.

    Winner: Milanello


    #2 Hymenoptera: Borussia Dortmund's Emma vs Watford's Harry the Hornet


    Emma's not at her ideal fighting weight—although it's not clear whether she's a queen bee or a worker–but looks satisfyingly apine. Harry looks very un-wasp-like; more of a despondent Sooty with mumps.

    Winner: Emma


    #3 Dinosaurs: Hamburger SV's Hermann vs Arsenal's Gunnersaurus

    I'm no palaeontologist but Hermann looks like no known species of dinosaur, let alone any blue and red one. At least Gunnersaurus has some recognisable dinosaur features, even if biological pedants will tell me he should have some feathers.

    Winner: Gunnersaurus

    #2
    The International Inter-Species Football Mascot KO

    Fred the Red? Fred the Scab, more like. A disgusting, unapologetic, Glazer-lackey. Not once has he spoken out over the regime. Not once has he sought to defend the fans. No wonder he looks so cheerful, lining his pockets with money stolen from the fans.

    Comment


      #3
      The International Inter-Species Football Mascot KO

      HSV have got a dinosaur because of they're the Bundesliga-Dino, i.e. the only founding member of the Bundesliga not to have been relegated.

      So if, as may well happen, they go down this season, they'll have to kill off the dinosaur. I'd like to see him replaced by something closer to what HSV actually represent.

      Maybe der Hanseat, in the costume of a gaunt, middle-aged, stiff-backed, unsmiling businessman. Dark-blue suit, brown shoes, red tie and/or a red hanky poking out of his pocket

      Comment


        #4
        The International Inter-Species Football Mascot KO

        Point of order: Harry is a Hornet, not a wasp, so I think he's quite right to look un-wasp like.

        What he should lose for, is that his wife disappeared under dubious circumstances - from the club's wikipedia page:

        Harriet joined her husband on the pitch at most home games, although she has not been seen for a number years.
        The lack of press interest in poor Harriet's fate is troubling.

        And it had started so well, with Wolves' Wolfie apparently well acquainted enough with Harry to be his best man:

        On 28 August 1998, Harry got married to Harriet the Hornet. The marriage took place on the pitch at Vicarage Road before the start of the game against Wolverhampton Wanderers F.C., and was witnessed by Wolfie, the Wolves mascot, who acted as Harry's best man. The club held a full wedding ceremony for Harry and Harriet, rounded off with a sing-along to the chorus of "Elton John's Taylor-Made Army". Elton John was Chairman and Graham Taylor was manager of the club at the time.
        I should add that this was not at all embarrassing or cringeworthy, and the Wolves fans did not in any way ruin such a solemn occasion by relentlessly but justifiably making us out to be a bunch of weirdos.

        Comment


          #5
          The International Inter-Species Football Mascot KO

          Does seabird v seabird count?




          Gully the Seagull looks more than a little deranged, but at least he's not attempting to defecate on a child at a birthday party, like "Mighty Red" the Liverpool Cormorant. Only one winner, here.

          Comment


            #6
            The International Inter-Species Football Mascot KO

            Olga



            v

            Filbert



            Props to both of them for bringing their own mascots with them, but Olga's really is out of the pages of "when home taxidermy goes wrong"

            Winner: Filbert.

            Comment


              #7
              The International Inter-Species Football Mascot KO

              Wolfsburg's Wölfi



              Vs

              Wolverhampton's Wolfie



              sorry...

              Comment


                #8
                The International Inter-Species Football Mascot KO

                Rogin the Armchair Fan wrote: Does seabird v seabird count?




                Gully the Seagull looks more than a little deranged, but at least he's not attempting to defecate on a child at a birthday party, like "Mighty Red" the Liverpool Cormorant. Only one winner, here.
                Wot?

                No mention of



                ?

                Comment


                  #9
                  The International Inter-Species Football Mascot KO

                  treibeis wrote:
                  So if, as may well happen, they go down this season, they'll have to kill off the dinosaur.
                  Are they lining up an asteroid right now?

                  Comment


                    #10
                    The International Inter-Species Football Mascot KO

                    To the devils category, you can add Crawley Town's rather evil looking mascot.

                    Was going to post a picture but all I can find are pictures of Richard Brodie.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      The International Inter-Species Football Mascot KO

                      That photo of Crawley's 'Reggie The Red' made me think of something:

                      Football mascots as Doctor Who monsters.

                      I'm not asking anyone to attempt that as a thread, or even a post. I just wanted to use that phrase online and see how long it takes the Who writers to find it and then make it into an episode. I give it/them three weeks.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        The International Inter-Species Football Mascot KO

                        Wasn't that a Sylvester McCoy one?

                        Comment


                          #13
                          The International Inter-Species Football Mascot KO



                          Storks: ADO Den Haag's Storky vs Holsten Kiel's Stolle

                          Not much to choose here. Stolle might edge forward on design but, famously, Storky was one of the breakthrough stars of Mascots Observing Minutes Silences.

                          So it's Storky. By a beak.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            The International Inter-Species Football Mascot KO

                            via vicaria wrote: Point of order: Harry is a Hornet, not a wasp, so I think he's quite right to look un-wasp like.
                            Wikipedia puts hornets in the wasp family, hence my classification.

                            But we'd need an entomologist to adjudicate.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              The International Inter-Species Football Mascot KO







                              Comment


                                #16
                                The International Inter-Species Football Mascot KO

                                Benjm wrote: Wolfsburg's Wölfi



                                Vs

                                Wolverhampton's Wolfie



                                sorry...

                                Wolves' wolf is a fox, no?

                                Comment


                                  #17
                                  The International Inter-Species Football Mascot KO

                                  ursus arctos wrote:
                                  I think bears and lions are far too crowded as categories.

                                  Comment


                                    #18
                                    The International Inter-Species Football Mascot KO

                                    Stumpy Pepys wrote:

                                    Storks: ADO Den Haag's Storky vs Holsten Kiel's Stolle

                                    Not much to choose here. Stolle might edge forward on design but, famously, Storky was one of the breakthrough stars of Mascots Observing Minutes Silences.

                                    So it's Storky. By a beak.
                                    Something sent me digging further on Storky. Why would the Hockey World Cup deliberately choose to be upstaged by going to meet him?

                                    Comment


                                      #19
                                      The International Inter-Species Football Mascot KO

                                      Where was Storky when the Den Haag ultas burnt down their own ground?

                                      Comment


                                        #20
                                        The International Inter-Species Football Mascot KO

                                        bruno glanvilla wrote:
                                        Wolves' wolf is a fox, no?
                                        That's an outrageous accusation - wolves come in a range of shades.

                                        In fact, German rival Wölfi is naturally brown of fur but dyes it silver to reflect popular contemporary car colours, at the behest of his automative masters. The shill.

                                        Comment


                                          #21
                                          The International Inter-Species Football Mascot KO

                                          And strangely enough VW produced (and still do in South America) a car called the Fox:


                                          Will this lupine/vulpine confusion never end?

                                          Comment


                                            #22
                                            The International Inter-Species Football Mascot KO

                                            evilC wrote: Football mascots as Doctor Who monsters.
                                            Moonchester? Not very scary, admittedly.

                                            Comment


                                              #23
                                              The International Inter-Species Football Mascot KO

                                              One of my more disappointing discoveries of this week was learning that you can buy a lion costume that looks suspiciously like that of our old friend Grecian the Lion. I would be very disappointed if Exeter City have just purchased an off the shelf lion rather than getting a specific design (especially when OTF has mascot designers to hand)

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                                                #24
                                                The International Inter-Species Football Mascot KO

                                                This is a bit tenuous;

                                                Baggie Bird vs Pinch the Crab

                                                Pinch the Crab is a mascot for the Southern Maryland Blue Crabs baseball team, apologies, but couldn't resist a Thrush vs Crabs rumble.

                                                Comment


                                                  #25
                                                  The International Inter-Species Football Mascot KO

                                                  Hull City's tigers



                                                  v

                                                  Utrecht's tigers



                                                  Winner: Utrecht, because 1) they actually look like tigers and 2) the owners don't see Utrecht Tigers as a unique brand

                                                  Comment

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