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Can you manage like Nigel Pearson?

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    Can you manage like Nigel Pearson?

    1. A fan criticizes you after a game, do you...?
    a) Ignore them, they are just spouting off in the heat of the moment.
    b) Invite them to come to the next meet the manager to air their grievances.
    c) Tell them to "fuck off and die", as you don't need to deal with people of that ilk.

    2. An opposition player accidentally clatters into you following a challenge, do you...?
    a) Laugh it off, after all it wad just an accident.
    b) Playfully tousle his hair or give him an Eric Morecambe style slap on the cheek.
    c) Grab him by the throat whilst maintaining a sinister grin on your face then refuse to let him rejoin the field of play by grabbing his shirt and not letting go.

    3. A reporter raises the issue of the confrontation with the player during the game and asks your opinion on the incident, do you...?
    a) Point out that you are on good terms with the player and it was just a bit of horseplay.
    b) Admit it might look a bit aggressive on reflection but there really was no malice intended.
    c) Stare down the trembling reporter and say "I'm a bit tasty, I am. Do you want a piece of me. WELL DO YA? I'LL TAKE YOU TO THE FACKING CLEANERS MATE!"

    4. A senior member of the board tells you that your services are no longer required and to clear your desk, do you...?
    a) Accept it as the inevitable outcome of any managerial career in professional football and begin to look for a new job.
    b) Contact the LMA to see if your dismissal could be put before a tribunal or to at least negotiate your pay-off.
    c) Call another member of the board who you've probably got something on as why else would he immediately get you reinstated and get him to get your job back for you.

    5. Where is the best place to hone your management skills and prove you can be a top boss like Nigel?
    a) The WWE world tour?
    b) The unlicensed bare-knuckle fighting clubs of East London.
    c) Xpert Eleven.

    As you have probably worked out, the answer to all the above questions is "c"., and you will probably have also realised that this is once again a ridiculously long and convoluted effort by myself to draw you into the world of Xpert Eleven, where many of your fellow OTFers already ply their trade as managers of their own teams. So if you are curious and want to know more, then I will explain.
    Xpert 11 is an online football manager game. You are given a team with a squad of players and you compete in a league with other OTFers, some are hardcore regulars, and some are occasional posters and some are just lurkers who don't really post on here at all and just enjoy the game. We don't mind really.
    Just like in real football, you try to pick a team to beat your opponent whilst trying to nurture young talent and, with some training, squad alterations and accumulation of wealth, grow your squad of players into a successful winning team. You play in a league twice a week, and you get to choose the formation and style of play that you think best suits your team, and can buy and sell players in the transfer market and bring in new youth prospects.
    It doesn't take a lot of time either. A couple of minutes a day will usually do just to check updates and set you team, though you may spend a bit more than that on the site if you want to find a new player or write a press release (which can earn you extra cash).
    The game is easy to play, and the site is very simple to navigate. Also we are a welcoming bunch and are happy to help with any questions that might arise as you get used to the game play. Just try it for a season and see how you go, we won't mind if you decide that it isn't for you. Alternatively you could become hopelessly addicted and end up running a massive private league like I have.
    It doesn't have to cost you anything. The game is free to join, but you have the option of purchasing VIP membership if you want to take advantage of extra gizmos or increase your team portfolio.
    And joining is easy too. This is the league invite link. Just click on it, enter your details and the OTF League admin Etienne will set you up.
    See if you can manage better than Nigel, even without the psychotic episodes.

    #2
    Can you manage like Nigel Pearson?

    Does it come with a handy mobile application, and if so, is it any good ?

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      #3
      Can you manage like Nigel Pearson?

      The iphone app is set up, and android is pending. I don't have iphone so I have no idea on the quality of the app myself. I do most of my participation via mobile internet on a Samsung, and don't have any issues.

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        #4
        Can you manage like Nigel Pearson?

        Yes, and by all accounts no-one's quite sure. It's different, from what the rest of us have heard. The regular game works fine over the internet on my phone though, for what it's worth.

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          #5
          Can you manage like Nigel Pearson?

          Come on guest number 1, join up!

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            #6
            Can you manage like Nigel Pearson?

            Well, the only thing holding me back at the moment is a clever team name, and my trousers being caught on the fence.

            As soon as I've sorted those two concerns out I'll apply for membership.

            Edit - oo.. I know.. I'll do an anagram of my name - people love those !

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              #7
              Can you manage like Nigel Pearson?

              The app has pros and cons. It's really easy to watch games, which isn't the case on my mobile devices at least. But I prefer the site for managing the team, checking on player development and so on.

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                #8
                Can you manage like Nigel Pearson?

                Ooh yes, come on Hugh — if it's any help, contesting the top division title right now are one team named for an obscure side from Bermuda, one spoofing a historic Scottish club and one spoofing a brand of lingerie. There's another inspired by Robert Rankin's books, one by a Victorian railway, one by a hatred of "banter" and one by a variety of pig. Someone's team is ostensibly located in Turkey, someone else in California, one possibly in Greenland, one in Yorkshire, one in Sherwood Forest, one in the pages of The Framley Examiner, there's one in Anglo-Saxon times and, inexplicably, two in Chester. There's bad puns, mock-Slavic, a misplaced vowel, a phantom exclamation mark, dog-Latin, and even Welsh. The world is your oyster.

                I manage Vita Mortis, which is the dog-Latin. Although an anagram of my name on here would be Nerd Loved Vita, so that approach works as well.

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                  #9
                  Can you manage like Nigel Pearson?

                  Actually we are located in the Kingdom of Commagene rather than Turkey VA.

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                    #10
                    Can you manage like Nigel Pearson?

                    How much time do I have before the season kicks off ? I'm feeling a bit rushed.

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                      #11
                      Can you manage like Nigel Pearson?

                      Plenty of time. We have four games left in the current season to play (two games a week), and then it will be a week or two before the new season takes place. Once another new manager joins you will be able to play some friendly games to find your feet.
                      Also, if you have any questions once you join then feel free to ask, and we will try to help you as much as we can.

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                        #12
                        Can you manage like Nigel Pearson?

                        Gosh, that's me told then AE, Kingdom of Commagene it is. I'll remember that in future. Does that only apply to Zeugmaspor, or do I have to stop referring to Zeugmademirspor as "Turks" too?

                        And yes HFB, we're a friendly, very helpful bunch, almost no-one bites (be careful around Smallcaps' team, though) and you can check out any time you like, although we'd prefer it if you never leave.

                        You don't have to worry if you have second thoughts about your team's name, by the way, in case you do rush into one you subsequently regret — you can always change it after, provided the admin (Etienne) OKs it. As you've probably gathered by now there's license to be as creative as you like with what you call them, and you can even change each of your players' names (once) too. And when suffering a critical failure of imagination, you can always name your club after a real team and change the players' names to match, at which point it becomes like buying Football Manager but one-fifteenth as good, albeit cheaper. So don't do that.

                        We've long since worked out, actually, that you don't have to be an expert at management sims, do fantasy football, watch the Premier League every week or, possibly, even need to know how actual football is played, since it's a simple thing (superficially, at least), using entirely fictional players operating in an entirely made-up league. Er, Xpert Eleven, that is, not actual football. Well, maybe not entirely fictional, don't go trying to tell the regulars that their cherished defensive linchpin, midfield hardman, veteran goalie or absurdly valuable young attacking prospect aren't real and lovable. But it's feasible that a trained monkey, lost mediaeval time-traveller or extraterrestrial lifeform could be taught to play based on drumming a handful of basic precepts into them. We already have at least three zombies in the bottom division, for starters.

                        At the same time, it's a deeper experience if you want it to be: you can have extra teams to manage, wheel and deal in the transfer market like a right Redknapp, and even play the pools — one of our members has this very evening scooped the entire jackpot of 23 million econs (the imaginary in-game currency) from his first ever bet in another of the leagues where a load of us are running second (third, sixth...) teams, so will now be able to go on a galáctico-grabbing splurge. And we're all delighted for him, honest.

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                          #13
                          Can you manage like Nigel Pearson?

                          Just a quick bump to this; do give X11 a go, it's brilliant.

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                            #14
                            Can you manage like Nigel Pearson?

                            C'mon Hugh, you know you want to. And anyone else hovering in the corner, thinking about joining in.

                            Just one thing, a little idiosyncrasy we have round here: don't call your team West Ham.....

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                              #15
                              Can you manage like Nigel Pearson?

                              (...or West Ham United, WEST HAM, Thames Ironworks, London Hammers, Claret & Blue EastEnders...)

                              Apologies to (1) Guest, by the way, if you're an Upton Park regular; there's just an epidemic of boring real-team names infecting all corners of the game — though not the OTF League, I should say — with loads of facsimiles of the European 'elite' clubs (Smallcaps had to compete a few months ago in a division with two Bayern Munichs and THREE Manchester Uniteds) and, for some reason, an unreasonable number of 'West Hams'. So we need newcomers to bring some imaginative names in to redress the balance.

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                                #16
                                Can you manage like Nigel Pearson?

                                The fact that in the public leagues the game engine attempts to put you in geographically proximate leagues means that those West Ham figures will be skewed towards certain OTFers experiences. My public leagues nearly always have me coming up against dozens of fucking Steaua Bucharests.

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                                  #17
                                  Can you manage like Nigel Pearson?

                                  So, what's the pool of players, then?

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                                    #18
                                    Can you manage like Nigel Pearson?

                                    Are you interested in joining UA?

                                    Not sure I understood your question.

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                                      #19
                                      Can you manage like Nigel Pearson?

                                      I'm thinking about it, given that you lot seem to be having a lot of fun.

                                      Are the players real humans, or some kind of computer generated simulacrum?

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                                        #20
                                        Can you manage like Nigel Pearson?

                                        Computer generated.

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                                          #21
                                          Can you manage like Nigel Pearson?

                                          Hmmm.

                                          That makes it more interesting to me.

                                          Comment


                                            #22
                                            Can you manage like Nigel Pearson?

                                            Yes, I buried this in the middle of a longer reply above, ursus:
                                            We've long since worked out, actually, that you don't have to be an expert at management sims, do fantasy football, watch the Premier League every week or, possibly, even need to know how actual football is played, since it's a simple thing (superficially, at least), using entirely fictional players operating in an entirely made-up league.
                                            The strange thing is, several of us are finding that once you get immersed it can become a lot more meaningful than the real sport; it's easier to get attached to one's imaginary bunch of clapped-out, one-footed ne'er-do-wells than to the overpaid, underachieving prima donnas of the professional game. If you mouse-over, say, Kevchenko's profile icons here on the OTF boards, you'll find that his 'favourite team' no longer includes the actual clubs he used to list, only his OTF League team. Make of that what you will.

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                                              #23
                                              Can you manage like Nigel Pearson?

                                              Then again, it's also entirely possible to join the game and not completely lose yourself in it but instead just have some fun. At least, that's what I'm told.

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                                                #24
                                                Can you manage like Nigel Pearson?

                                                Yes, please don't let the tales of strange obsessions and blurred realities put anyone off joining. We're all still perfectly well-adjusted, really.

                                                Seriously, though, it is indeed entirely possible to give it just two minutes a day and pay it no more heed than that.

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                                                  #25
                                                  Can you manage like Nigel Pearson?

                                                  Welcome to Hugh Fatbastard and Go Ahead Baked Beans

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