1. A fan criticizes you after a game, do you...?
a) Ignore them, they are just spouting off in the heat of the moment.
b) Invite them to come to the next meet the manager to air their grievances.
c) Tell them to "fuck off and die", as you don't need to deal with people of that ilk.
2. An opposition player accidentally clatters into you following a challenge, do you...?
a) Laugh it off, after all it wad just an accident.
b) Playfully tousle his hair or give him an Eric Morecambe style slap on the cheek.
c) Grab him by the throat whilst maintaining a sinister grin on your face then refuse to let him rejoin the field of play by grabbing his shirt and not letting go.
3. A reporter raises the issue of the confrontation with the player during the game and asks your opinion on the incident, do you...?
a) Point out that you are on good terms with the player and it was just a bit of horseplay.
b) Admit it might look a bit aggressive on reflection but there really was no malice intended.
c) Stare down the trembling reporter and say "I'm a bit tasty, I am. Do you want a piece of me. WELL DO YA? I'LL TAKE YOU TO THE FACKING CLEANERS MATE!"
4. A senior member of the board tells you that your services are no longer required and to clear your desk, do you...?
a) Accept it as the inevitable outcome of any managerial career in professional football and begin to look for a new job.
b) Contact the LMA to see if your dismissal could be put before a tribunal or to at least negotiate your pay-off.
c) Call another member of the board who you've probably got something on as why else would he immediately get you reinstated and get him to get your job back for you.
5. Where is the best place to hone your management skills and prove you can be a top boss like Nigel?
a) The WWE world tour?
b) The unlicensed bare-knuckle fighting clubs of East London.
c) Xpert Eleven.
As you have probably worked out, the answer to all the above questions is "c"., and you will probably have also realised that this is once again a ridiculously long and convoluted effort by myself to draw you into the world of Xpert Eleven, where many of your fellow OTFers already ply their trade as managers of their own teams. So if you are curious and want to know more, then I will explain.
Xpert 11 is an online football manager game. You are given a team with a squad of players and you compete in a league with other OTFers, some are hardcore regulars, and some are occasional posters and some are just lurkers who don't really post on here at all and just enjoy the game. We don't mind really.
Just like in real football, you try to pick a team to beat your opponent whilst trying to nurture young talent and, with some training, squad alterations and accumulation of wealth, grow your squad of players into a successful winning team. You play in a league twice a week, and you get to choose the formation and style of play that you think best suits your team, and can buy and sell players in the transfer market and bring in new youth prospects.
It doesn't take a lot of time either. A couple of minutes a day will usually do just to check updates and set you team, though you may spend a bit more than that on the site if you want to find a new player or write a press release (which can earn you extra cash).
The game is easy to play, and the site is very simple to navigate. Also we are a welcoming bunch and are happy to help with any questions that might arise as you get used to the game play. Just try it for a season and see how you go, we won't mind if you decide that it isn't for you. Alternatively you could become hopelessly addicted and end up running a massive private league like I have.
It doesn't have to cost you anything. The game is free to join, but you have the option of purchasing VIP membership if you want to take advantage of extra gizmos or increase your team portfolio.
And joining is easy too. This is the league invite link. Just click on it, enter your details and the OTF League admin Etienne will set you up.
See if you can manage better than Nigel, even without the psychotic episodes.
a) Ignore them, they are just spouting off in the heat of the moment.
b) Invite them to come to the next meet the manager to air their grievances.
c) Tell them to "fuck off and die", as you don't need to deal with people of that ilk.
2. An opposition player accidentally clatters into you following a challenge, do you...?
a) Laugh it off, after all it wad just an accident.
b) Playfully tousle his hair or give him an Eric Morecambe style slap on the cheek.
c) Grab him by the throat whilst maintaining a sinister grin on your face then refuse to let him rejoin the field of play by grabbing his shirt and not letting go.
3. A reporter raises the issue of the confrontation with the player during the game and asks your opinion on the incident, do you...?
a) Point out that you are on good terms with the player and it was just a bit of horseplay.
b) Admit it might look a bit aggressive on reflection but there really was no malice intended.
c) Stare down the trembling reporter and say "I'm a bit tasty, I am. Do you want a piece of me. WELL DO YA? I'LL TAKE YOU TO THE FACKING CLEANERS MATE!"
4. A senior member of the board tells you that your services are no longer required and to clear your desk, do you...?
a) Accept it as the inevitable outcome of any managerial career in professional football and begin to look for a new job.
b) Contact the LMA to see if your dismissal could be put before a tribunal or to at least negotiate your pay-off.
c) Call another member of the board who you've probably got something on as why else would he immediately get you reinstated and get him to get your job back for you.
5. Where is the best place to hone your management skills and prove you can be a top boss like Nigel?
a) The WWE world tour?
b) The unlicensed bare-knuckle fighting clubs of East London.
c) Xpert Eleven.
As you have probably worked out, the answer to all the above questions is "c"., and you will probably have also realised that this is once again a ridiculously long and convoluted effort by myself to draw you into the world of Xpert Eleven, where many of your fellow OTFers already ply their trade as managers of their own teams. So if you are curious and want to know more, then I will explain.
Xpert 11 is an online football manager game. You are given a team with a squad of players and you compete in a league with other OTFers, some are hardcore regulars, and some are occasional posters and some are just lurkers who don't really post on here at all and just enjoy the game. We don't mind really.
Just like in real football, you try to pick a team to beat your opponent whilst trying to nurture young talent and, with some training, squad alterations and accumulation of wealth, grow your squad of players into a successful winning team. You play in a league twice a week, and you get to choose the formation and style of play that you think best suits your team, and can buy and sell players in the transfer market and bring in new youth prospects.
It doesn't take a lot of time either. A couple of minutes a day will usually do just to check updates and set you team, though you may spend a bit more than that on the site if you want to find a new player or write a press release (which can earn you extra cash).
The game is easy to play, and the site is very simple to navigate. Also we are a welcoming bunch and are happy to help with any questions that might arise as you get used to the game play. Just try it for a season and see how you go, we won't mind if you decide that it isn't for you. Alternatively you could become hopelessly addicted and end up running a massive private league like I have.
It doesn't have to cost you anything. The game is free to join, but you have the option of purchasing VIP membership if you want to take advantage of extra gizmos or increase your team portfolio.
And joining is easy too. This is the league invite link. Just click on it, enter your details and the OTF League admin Etienne will set you up.
See if you can manage better than Nigel, even without the psychotic episodes.
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