Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Those terrible football jokes you told as a kid

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Those terrible football jokes you told as a kid

    My favourite was:

    Q: What football team are made of ice cream?

    A: Aston Vanilla.

    It makes no sense but I thought it was hilarious when I was 8.

    Anyone else remember awful jokes like this?

    #2
    Those terrible football jokes you told as a kid

    Q: What's the difference between City and a teabag?

    A: The teabag stays in the cup longer.

    Peter Reid gets stopped for speeding, and is offered a fine or three points on his licence. He, of course, opts for the points, being desperate for any he can get his hands on.

    Comment


      #3
      Those terrible football jokes you told as a kid

      Q: Why was Cinderella rubbish at football?

      A: She kept running away from the ball.

      Comment


        #4
        Those terrible football jokes you told as a kid

        Why is Dracula such a bad goalkeeper?

        Because he's afraid of crosses.

        Comment


          #5
          Those terrible football jokes you told as a kid

          Our teacher once read us some spoof football results, the last one of which was 'Ipswich one, you tell me' but for some reason 'Wolves 8 A cheese roll and a cup of tea 2' creased me up.

          Comment


            #6
            Those terrible football jokes you told as a kid

            The Vole's football results threads used to crack me up.

            Comment


              #7
              Those terrible football jokes you told as a kid

              Why is in hospital?
              Because he's got a bad side...

              Comment


                #8
                Those terrible football jokes you told as a kid

                Steve Bruce's been arrested for trespassing on the railway.

                He claims he was looking for points.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Those terrible football jokes you told as a kid

                  (long and tedious set up omitted)

                  "So what does your dog do when United win then?"
                  "Dunno, I've only had him a year"

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Those terrible football jokes you told as a kid

                    Saw Paul Lambert in the newsagents the other day. He was asking for 20 players.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Those terrible football jokes you told as a kid

                      Why is playing for City so dangerous?

                      Because your mum always said not to play on the Maine Road

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Those terrible football jokes you told as a kid

                        ad hoc wrote: (long and tedious set up omitted)

                        "So what does your dog do when United win then?"
                        "Dunno, I've only had him a year"
                        We had a thread time back about punchlines sans jokes, no?

                        In that spirit:

                        "Hmm. let me have another look at that dog."

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Those terrible football jokes you told as a kid

                          My Nottingham Forest supporting mate was so fed up with his teams performances this season, he nailed his season ticket to his front gate. Next day, some rotten bastard had nicked the nail.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Those terrible football jokes you told as a kid

                            are you going to see xxx this week?

                            `Why should I -they never came to see me when i was bad.

                            I was fond of the Aston Vanilla joke. i remember a version which went "which team are the easiest to beat ? Aston Vanilla- everyone licks them"

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Those terrible football jokes you told as a kid

                              Q: What were the first words of the freed Iranian Embassy hostages?

                              A: "Has Gary Birtles scored yet?"

                              Comment


                                #16
                                Those terrible football jokes you told as a kid

                                Someone broke into [club]'s ground last night and stole the contents of the trophy room.

                                Police are looking for a man with a roll of [club colour] carpet.

                                Comment


                                  #17
                                  Those terrible football jokes you told as a kid

                                  I see Glenn Hoddle's found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.

                                  Comment


                                    #18
                                    Those terrible football jokes you told as a kid

                                    There was an episode of the classic ITV sitcom Bottle Boys' that contained the"Chelsea are magic - watch them disappear from the First Division' gag.

                                    Comment


                                      #19
                                      Those terrible football jokes you told as a kid

                                      And a latest score, it's Blackburn Rovers one, Nottingham Forest Tree.

                                      Comment


                                        #20
                                        Those terrible football jokes you told as a kid

                                        Jesus saves, but Brooking scores the rebound...

                                        Comment


                                          #21
                                          Those terrible football jokes you told as a kid

                                          "What time is kick off?"

                                          "What time can you get here?"

                                          "What a ridiculous thing to say, even the clubs lowest attendances in recent years have numbered several thousands."

                                          Comment


                                            #22
                                            Those terrible football jokes you told as a kid

                                            something something Sultan of Brunei's son asked for a Mickey Mouse outfit so he bought him

                                            Comment


                                              #23
                                              Those terrible football jokes you told as a kid

                                              Comment


                                                #24
                                                Those terrible football jokes you told as a kid

                                                san2sboro wrote: There was an episode of the classic ITV sitcom Bottle Boys' that contained the"Chelsea are magic - watch them disappear from the First Division' gag.
                                                "Citizen Smith" contained the immortal line "Equalize before the other team score. That's the 'Fulham' principle"

                                                Comment


                                                  #25
                                                  Those terrible football jokes you told as a kid

                                                  Nesta Arantes do Nascimento wrote:
                                                  That apostrophe's doing my nut in.

                                                  Comment

                                                  Working...
                                                  X