Every Day Is Non-League Day For Some, Matchgoing March 24th - 30th

[cantagalo]

Stevenage 1 Salford City 3
League 2
Att: 3749

I hadn't realised that the side where the TV cameras are at Stevenage is a long covered standing terrace where the majority of a fairly sparse home attendance congregate. There was a meagre away following as well so the atmosphere didn't reflect the position of both teams in the higher reaches of the table. It wasn't helped by a dire first half with only two incidents of note - a ball across the face of the goal which eluded every Salford attacker and a header by Dan Sweeney well saved by Alex Cairns. Salford at least tried to play constructive football. Stevenage's style could best be described as ugly.

After an hour, following a long break for an injury to Stevenage keeper McCracken, the game finally sprang into life. A Salford free kick was pulled back to the edge of the area and sidefooted in by Stephen Mallen and they extended their lead through Callum Hendry after some farcical Stevenage defending. Luke Norris pulled one back in the final minute of regular time and the board went up to show 12 minutes to be added. At this point, Salford brought on Matt Smith. Now the last time I saw him, he scored a hat-trick for Millwall at Forest. Here he extinguished any hope Stevenage might have had of salvaging an undeserved point by restoring Salford's two goal advantage within a minute of setting foot on the pitch.

I'm glad to have ticked the ground off but I doubt whether I'll be making too many further visits there.

[Hot Orange]

I didn’t go to a game, but I drove past Meadow Lane after picking my daughter up from university. The floodlights were on. “Oh look, County are playing”, I said. “Is that the shit one?” she replied. And I thought she wasn’t into football.

[MrLeam]

Maryhill vs Ashfield

Mohammed was 15 years old, with the face of a 12 year-old and the body of a NFL running back. Like most kids in Glasgow, Mohammed adored football. Unlike most kids in Glasgow, Mohammed was seriously talented. He lacked pace, but sauntered imperiously through games, dictating play, and launching 20-yard rockets. Completely jacked, he casually brushed opponents off the ball as if they were eight stone weaklings. Mo-mo wasn’t a tank. Mo-mo was a football savant of an aircraft carrier.

I met Mohammed over a decade ago, when I was a youth worker in Glasgow. My regular Monday rounds included the accommodation for young asylum seekers next to Firhill Stadium in the north of the city. About forty boys lived there, mainly guys who’d escaped the hell of Afghanistan and somehow pitched up in west Scotland with no friends, family, or support. The rooms were modern, regular activities were arranged, and the staff worked hard to make the place a calm oasis in the frenetic Maryhill surroundings.

Mohammed was one of the first kids I got to know, an affable West African who was happy talking football. I was also happy talking football, especially when I was getting paid for it, and looked forward to chatting with Mohammed every time I visited. Pitch up, waffle about Real Madrid for 15 minutes, then get the Scotrail service home. Sit back in suburban warmth, Morgan’s Spiced Rum in easy reach, and delude myself that discussing Roberto Carlos had helped a kid who’d been through shit he could never talk about.

In July that year I was roped in to play goalkeeper in a team we threw together for a six-a-side tournament in the south side of Glasgow. Up against older opponents, Mohammed played as if hewn from the same granite as Marcel Dessailly and tried to ubermensch our side to victory. It wasn’t to be, and our side made a typically Scottish early exit. No matter how well Mohammed played, he could never create goals at one end as quickly as I could let them in at the other.

I visited the accommodation a few weeks later, to find Mo-mo the centre of attention. He’d turned up with some of the other boys to play at a Celtic community event, been spotted by a scout, and offered a trial. He was clearly excited, yet talked about it in an understated way. He knew if things proverbially clicked on the day then the proverbial chance of glory awaited and a route to a new future.

Unfortunately, proverbial glory only arrives if you wake up, and get in a staff member’s car to go to your trial. However much he dreamed of football success, something in Mohammed stopped him taking the first step. He was quiet for a few days afterwards, as if he realised he’d missed a chance and couldn’t figure out why.

A few weeks later Mo-mo was given a trial by Maryhill FC, the non-league team just up the road. Aware of the issues earlier, staff put a plan together and successfully cajoled Mohammed into turning up, where he did enough to get offered a place for one of the development teams. A vote of confidence in a 15 year-old. A few days later was Mohammed’s first day of training. He didn’t turn up, and told staff to tell Maryhill he didn’t want to play for them.

No-one ever found out exactly what was going on, but staff booted around plenty of theories. Perhaps Mohammed preferred self-sabotage to the risk of finding out he wasn’t good enough for the highest levels. Perhaps being a young asylum seeker playing football with a group of raucous Scottish teenagers he didn’t know was too big a step. Perhaps living in Scotland for six months was long enough to imbibe the national capacity for snatching defeat from victory. Perhaps we failed Mo-mo and didn’t really grasp the issues he was going through.

A couple of months later I made a radical career change, chucked in my job as an ineffective youth worker in Glasgow, and became an ineffective youth worker in Stirling. I never found out what happened to Mohammed. I wish him all the best.

As hard as I tried at yesterday's Maryhill vs Ashfield game, I couldn't picture Mohammed playing for the home team. It wasn't anything to do with talent, as a fully-grown adult Mo would have provided the midfield dynamism a poor home team needed. It was more that performing in front of 80 people in a ground hidden away off Maryhill Road would have been a waste of his potential. There was little talent on show. Maryhill's new striker came from the Maltese Premier League, and spent 90 minutes showing why drunken discussions down The Red Lion about the best leagues in the world never end with mentions of Mediterranean islands. Ashfield's number eleven combined the mind of a petulant four year-old with the physique of a petulant thirteen year-old, whining through the game as if confronted by a massive conspiracy concocted by opponents, teammates, and officials to stifle his indisputably world-beating ability.

Despite the lack of skill, the game was entertaining, with Ashfield deservedly winning 2-0 as they maintained their promotion push at a classic Glaswegian nonleague ground. Angular roofing on one side makes the Lochburn Park covered terrace look like a cattle market, there’s a couple of hundred incongruous plastic seats at one end, outdated graffiti at the other. The pitch is tightly enclosed with walls and wherever you go, you're peering down on the ground from a few feet above it, making the ground feel subterranean.

The club shop is a treasure trove of books and programmes, the food stall offers a Breakfast Pie, and the locals are friendly, with many old enough to remember thirty years ago when Maryhill were one of the better local teams. Those days are sepia-tinted memories, and the side could use an injection of young talent. Fifteen years ago I knew where they could have started…

[George C.]

Chesterfield 2 Halifax Town 0
Att. 7019

[Artificial Hipster]

GPSO 2-2 Daten
Cheshire League Premier Division

I don't think my plans could ever be considered best laid but once again they were subject to late change with Baguley's game being moved to an unappealing 3G in Partington.

I settled instead on this Warrington derby at a ground which hosted NWCL football for 7 seasons prior to 2001 at which point landlords, The Tetley Club evicted tenants, Tetley Walker FC for failing to make sufficient use of the hospitality at the ground. Perhaps they'd been making a statement about the quality of the beer on offer there. Bloke who I shared a house with while at Cov Poly in the 80's was a fierce advocate for the purity of Tetley Bitter as brewed in his home town, Leeds, and considered Tetley Warrington to be an abomination. He also liked to play Marching All Together last thing at night so he can perhaps be disregarded as a not wholly reliable witness. Nonetheless it has to be acknowledged that, in spite of the memorable advert with it's evocative lines describing a place where beer is cool and hearts are warm, among the last places anyone craving an escape from cracking rocks in the hot sun might dream of being would be Greenall Whitley Land, both beer and town being singularly dull and uninspiring.

It is Greenall's which gives us the G in GPSO, the brewery side having merged with another local club to form Greenall's Padgate St Oswalds. Daten are another former works team, their name deriving from that of the Department of Atomic Energy which once had a site in the Culcheth area of the town.

For a match up between the 2 bottom sides in the division this was anything but dull and uninspiring, both teams playing some attractive football and looking to attack down the flanks as often as possible. Daten - the only 1 of the 2 with a realistic chance of escaping the relegation zone - took the lead from a penalty shortly after half time, after a stunning overhead had brought a fingertip save from their own keeper moments earlier. A neat interchange down the right led to the equaliser before an absolute blooter from Greenall's gangly no.5 gave the home side the lead. His celebrations suggested someone who rarely scores at all, let alone with a finish like this.

5 minutes from time Daten secured a share of the points with a towering header at the back post from a right wing cross. It was a result which wasn't of much use to either side but at least a healthy enough crowd of maybe 40 or so will most likely have the opportunity to enjoy this, as well as a couple of other Warrington derbies in Division One next season.

[Ray de Galles]

Surbiton 4 Wimbledon 4 (Surbiton win 3-1 on penalties)
England Men's Hockey League Premier Division
Sugden Road

With all of my local football options either not attractive (Met Police) or not guaranteed to go ahead given the recent torrential rain (everything else) I did end up choosing the hockey match ten minutes from my house and played, as most if not all of the sport is nowadays, on an artificial surface. Though Surbiton HC are about ten minutes drive from my house this was the first time I've visited and also the first time I've ever seen club hockey, having watched international matches at the Commonwealths and World Cup before.

A couple of mates came along too, one of which also brought his son along who plays the game at youth and university level in case we needed any expert analysis though it was all pretty easy to follow. This was the last fixture before the Finals weekend in a week's time (also being held at Surbiton) and would decide which of these two teams topped their play-off group. Given both teams were already guaranteed to feature in the Finals, I'm not sure if there is any advantage to heading the group ( Janik might know more) but it was certainly a very hard-fought fixture.

There were around 200 paying spectators (including a healthy number of away fans) on the main pitch watching this second half of a double-header with the Women's team and a lot more milling about the other pitches participating in or watching games at other levels. I'm not sure how many they expect for the finals as you can seemingly only really watch the main pitch from half of one side in stands or on a raised bank behind one end.

Wimbledon will be amazed at losing given that Surbiton were never in the lead during the match visitors seemed (to my untrained eye) to score the better quality goals. Indeed, Surbiton only scored their final of their four equalisers after a series of at least eight consecutive penalty corners were awarded to them until they finally scrambled one home. They then proceeded to win the penalty shootout due to having the more aggressive, dominant keeper.

Despite the two clubs being long-established, successful sides who finished second and third in the main table there wasn't much anticipation of them winning the Finals as it appears that hockey has its own financially-doped arriviste club in Old Georgians who only formed in 1995 and linked to St George's College private school in Weybridge. Apparently they pay players far more than any other British club, were first promoted to the top tier in 2019, winning it last season and are unbeaten this (as are Surbiton, to be fair).

[Fearful Symmetry]

Thackley 0 North Ferriby 1
Northern Counties East League Premier Division

Champions, baby!

Not the prettiest of games all told, but the Villagers did what they needed to do and clinched the title in front of a good, and in our group's case lightly pickled, away following. The title winning goal came just before half time when former Thackley man Amir Berchil worked some magic on the left and squared for Josh Dennett to knock home.

Full time saw joyous celebrations between the players, management, backroom staff, board members and fans, and the home side formed a guard of honour and were very welcoming.

New league, new adventures to look forward to next season, as the Northern Premier League East awaits us. Can't wait.

20230325_165509.jpg

[CY_Boaby]

Perth Glory 4-3 Melbourne City
A-League Women
Att: 910

I wasn't planning on going to this game, but I was offered a free ticket by a mate who couldn't go so happily accepted. And what a crazy game this was. City completely dominated this game from the start and their pressure paid off just after the half-hour when Glory's 'keeper spilled a simple overhit pass and the City player just tapped it into the empty net. Minutes later a long-range shot crashed off the Glory crossbar as City threatened to run riot, however the first-half ended with City only 1-0 up despite having 15 shots on goal to Glory's one.

The second half was more of the same with all the action in and around the Glory penalty box and surely it was only a matter of time before City wrapped things up. But on 70 minutes it all went a bit mental. A rare Glory corner was flicked on at the near post where it was headed in at the far post. Out of nowhere it was 1-1 and game on. Seconds later, and City's experienced 'keeper, former Matilda Melissa Barbieri, played a poor ball which went straight to Glory's Hannah Blake out on the right, and she beautifully lobbed the ball back over the 'keeper and into the net to make it 2-1 Glory.

What the hell was going on here? But 3 minutes later City were level when Hannah Wilkinson lashed into the top corner and it appeared normal service would soon be resumed. But no, Glory went 3-2 up through teenage superstar Hana Lowry, who placed it superbly into the top left-hand corner after stunning work down the right from captain, Tash Rigby. Back came City with shots cleared off the line and the Glory defence throwing their bodies everywhere, but it was Glory who extended their lead when Cyera Hintzen scuffed her shot that had too much pace on it for Barbieri to scramble across and save. Having hardly had a shot on goal until the 70th minute, Glory had suddenly scored 4 in 17 minutes.

With 9 minutes of time added on, City scored again. Wilkinson's cross across the face of the goal was turned in by Julia Grosso at the back post. City threw everything at Glory and thought they'd got their equaliser in the 97th minute, only for Glory's 'keeper, Sarah Langman, to make up for her error in the first half with a superb save to her right to turn a goal-bound shot out for a corner.

The whistle finally blew, the Glory players celebrated whilst the City players fell to the ground, knowing they'd lost a game they completed dominated for the first 70 minutes. So all to play for as the regular season reaches its climax. Melbourne City stay 3rd, Melbourne Victory 4th but now Canberra Utd and Glory have kept themselves very much in the hunt to snatch a top 4 Finals place.

City on the attack again:



Deep into injury time:

[Cousin Boneless]

Leamington 0-2 Boston United
National League North
Att: 1123

Bad result for the Brakes which now puts them in the relation zone. Boston's win means that they are probably safe. Wasn't the best game to be honest. Leamington kept hoofing the ball up to the centre forward who had no one running off him completely bypassing the midfield.

The game will be remembered for Boston's second goal. Their striker, Chadwick, saw the Leamington keeper off his line and lobbed him from just inside the opposition half. A wonder goal that deserves to go viral and a fitting one to win the match.

Leamington had some enthusiastic young fans who kept singing but I really cannot see the point of the 'you're nothing special. We lose every week' song. Although it did make me laugh. The Brakes will need to start picking up points quickly if they are to get out of the drop zone.

[Uros Predic]

Colwyn Bay 1-3 Holywell Town
Saturday

The biggest domestic attendance of the season in Wales (1,330) squeezed into the currently three sides of Llanelian Road for this meeting of the top two in the Cymru North. At kick-off leaders Colwyn Bay (maroon) had won 25 league games in a row; second place Holywell, 22 in a row, and for half an hour it looked like Bay would be most likely to continue their run, leading 1-0. Town equalised 10 minutes before the break though, and then in the opening few minutes of the second half struck twice to go 3-1 ahead.

There was still 40 minutes for Bay to hit back, but they just never got going, struggling to find a way round Holywell's sturdy backline, and wasting the one or two moments they did so. This was the second time I'd seen Holywell this season; on the first occasion ran through all the gamesmanship tricks to kill momentum and the clock during a cup tie, against a team from the fifth tier. So it was no surprise when they did it all again today. Players going down with cramp from the 55th minute onwards, and their goalkeeper – who was booked for grabbing the ball and hoofing it out the ground following Town's third goal – being especially unlikeable.

Holywell are where they are in the league on merit, because they're a good side, with some good footballers; their right wing back in this game was especially impressive. But they're also an unpleasant team to watch for all of the above reasons. You could argue they'd be well suited to the Cymru Premier, but despite defeat Bay are still in a better position to secure the one promotion spot.

[Uros Predic]

Wrexham 2-1 Connah's Quay Nomads
Sunday

The record of biggest Welsh domestic attendance of the season lasted all of 24 hours, before being dwarfed by the biggest ever Welsh domestic league attendance at the Racecourse. Over 9,500 turned up to watch champions of the Adran North (women's second tier), Wrexham, host second-place Nomads, including my sister and me taking my nephew and niece to their first ever football match.

The game first, as this was a really even encounter. Wrexham were really good on the counter – where their rapid top-scorer Rosie Hughes could really get at players – but Nomads were better structured and organised. Wrexham led through a long-range free-kick, but Nomads equalised and hit the bar before the break. In the second half Wrexham were twice denied by brilliant saves, whilst Nomads came within inches of taking the lead with a header from a corner. But with 10 minutes to go Hughes broke clear, beat the last defender to the ball, rounded the goalkeeper and tapped home the goal her game deserved. (Her 42nd goal of the season from 17 matches).

The Wrexham thing then; so I've been cynical of Ryan and Rob (TM) and their investment. And whilst I still think there are things that aren't right – from instigating a pile-on on the Supporters Trust over the ground sale, to infiltrating the team's post-match trophy lift at this game – this showed me, much more than I'd realised, that the effect they've had on Wrexham is phenomenal. This attendance reflected a want from a whole town wanting to be part of a thing of great excitement, and as someone who supports their unglamorous hometown club I can only be jealous of such a connection between team and local population. Yeah, there is an element of the circus about it given their star profile – there were people hanging about near where they park their cars before and after the game, most people round me missed the opening goal as they looking away from the pitch to gawp at the owners in their seats above us – but it appears that this is much more of a byproduct than an aim.

And lastly, this was my nephew's first live football match (he's six, seven in May) and has got into it a lot in the last year. He wanted a Wrexham shirt for Christmas – another plus of the Ryan and Rob effect surely being the number of kids wanting Wrexham rather than Generic International Football Brand shirts – and he's been attending Friday football sessions at Wrexham. It's more organised fun than coaching, but the guy who runs it happens to be the women's team manager too – so he spent the first few minutes of this match shouting 'Steve!' and optimistically waving across the pitch. And, pleasingly, he bloody loved the whole thing. It held his attention for the full 90 minutes – his twin sister was in a colouring book by the hour mark – and he was thrilled by every attack, shot, big kick, high kick, ball that went in the building site, and up on his feet cheering and flag-waving at the goals. And most tellingly and pleasing of all for me was that he didn't ever care or question that it was women playing and not men.

I'm very relieved I haven't had to bore the arse off him at a Doncaster game to try and get him away from the clutches of the Premier League. Shame that's a potential Doncaster fan lost, but his sister is easily won over. I just need to convince Rovers to produce a unicorn-themed kit and she'll be on board. Plus, no danger of any excitement distracting her from her colouring.

[The Mighty Trin]

Chesham United 1 Weston-super-Mare 1
Southern League Premier
Att: Est 400 and 2 dogs (one sporting a gnatty knitted jumper in Chesham colours)

An easy post-work journey to the end of the Metropolitan Line took me to deepest Buckinghamshire and Chesham, famous for boots, beer, brushes and Baptists. Stephen Fry went to school here, Eddie Howe grew up here and Nye Bevan died here. Much more importantly, Lieutenant Gruber from 'Allo 'Allo also resides here.

Chesham United are another merger club, this time dating back to 1917 when Chesham Town and the then appropriately named Chesham Generals (albeit named after the Chesham General Baptist Church and not trench slaughter) merged and then joined the Spartan League post World War One. Indeed, the club's nickname remains the Generals. A high point was the 1992/93 season when they would have been promoted to the Conference but for pesky ground grading.

Today their opponents were those top-of-the-table hyphenated chaps of Western-super-Mare (the Seagulls).

I knew that The Meadow had been used for filming some bits on Taskmaster and was keen to visit. As Alex Horne is also a Chesham director, he's putting on a comedy football night in May and the club have already shifted 1,200 tickets (an advert for said event occupied the front page of the programme). First impressions are really positive, with a large social club with views of the pitch next to the raised main stand and raised terracing with small covers on the three other sides. Indeed, it feels like a proper football ground and I liked it a lot, although it would presumably need a new main stand were promotion to occur.

As the game kicked off the fans made clear that this was Chess v Wez, although the first half was barely worth looking up from my phone for, especially as I was debating Finland's Eurovision entry with friends.

The second half continued to be execrable as I moved on to discussing Croatia's Eurovision offering. And then bugger me, to everyone's surprise on 69 minutes Chesham carelessly scored with a header that looped over the keeper.

The game then descended into farce as the Seagulls tried to bring a sub on with the wrong colour cycling shorts. This lead to the away manager being sent off and a substantial 4 minutes delay due to fannying about. With the flow of the game disrupted the away team then equalised from what looked like a cross cum shot. And that was that.

Absolute dogshite on the pitch. I enjoyed myself immensely.

[tee rex]

I knew that The Meadow had been used for filming some bits on Taskmaster and was keen to visit. As Alex Horne is also a Chesham director ...

Knew the first, did not know the second. Good on him.

[Jobi1]

York 0 Scunthorpe 0
National League (att: 5,435, inc. 1,190 away)

Now, never let it be said I'm not afraid to mix things up, and when my friend told me he was considering booking us a table at a fabulous pizzeria in town rather than hitting up Lebaneat pre-match, I was completely open to the idea. This pizzeria is run by a crew from Campania (Cavese fans I believe) and they import all their ingredients from the region so it really is the real deal. They also do my absolute favourite pizza from my time living in Italy (anchovies, olives, capers, herbs, and no cheese).

We were tipped off that the Brazilian restaurant outside the ground wasn't letting in non-diners for once, so went straight into the ground when we got in there for a couple of cans of Brew York, proper decent craft. While I was queueing for those I noticed the crisp offering on our snack bar is Kettle Chips, and it struck me what a magnificently middle class experience a football trip to York is.

Scunny were wearing what appeared to be a tribute to the 1991 Australian cricket world cup kit, and their no.2 had taken it a step further by wearing a luxurious mullet. Beyond that, York 0 Scunthorpe 0 was absolutely everything you'd imagine it to be. Both teams shouldn't be relegated, but instead sent to some sort of purgatory to play each other only for a year to really think about what they've done. With nobody watching. That said, it was nice to see a full away end for once...

[cantagalo]

Alfreton Town 3 Spennymoor Town 2
National League North
Att: 377

Sheffield v Worksop Town was postponed shortly after I arrived at the ground but a quick trip down the A61 took me to the Impact Arena for a higher level of football which was also thankfully closer to home. I've seen quite a bit of Tier 6 football this season and frankly most of it has been pretty dire but this match was certainly eventful enough.

On arrival I checked out Alfreton's recent form. They have games in hand on teams in the play-offs but their last two matches had ended goalless. A closer inspection revealed that they had been involved in no fewer than eight 0-0s this season. I shouldn't have worried. They scored after just 70 seconds when the Spennymoor keeper Harry Flatters dropped an easy catch. It wasn't to be his night. Two further spills meant that he could claim assists for all three Alfreton goals. One of them was scored by 38 year old Matt Rhead (ex Mansfield and Lincoln) and with Adam Lund hurling in long throws like Wrexham's Ben Tozer, Flatters had a traumatic evening.

Spennymoor went down to 10 men when Reece Kendall was dismissed for a dangerous late tackle but surprisingly they got back into the game when Paul Blackett brilliantly chipped the keeper from 40 yards but suffered a further blow when Joe Tait also saw red, presumably for something he said to the linesman. Alfreton continued to squander chances, Flatters partially redeemed himself with a couple of good saves but at the end it was the nine men that were pressing for an unlikely equaliser.

Unexpectedly good entertainment.

[Cousin Boneless]

Quick question - What is the easiest way to add photos on here? I cannot seem to do it off my phone.

[Billy Casper]

Exeter City 3-1 Barnsley

It's been over 40 years since we've been in the same division as Exeter. Normally I would laugh at the suggestion that I would travel there in midweek, but with the play offs looking probable I couldn't take the chance that we would be in the same division next season. This leaves me with six of the 91 to go (Barrow, Everton, FGR, Newport, Leyton Orient and Sutton).

Anyway, we thoroughly deserved to lose and it was comforting in an odd way to have the familiar 'Why do I bother?' feeling at 2am on the motorway again.

[Ray de Galles]

Chesham United 1 Weston-super-Mare 1
Southern League Premier
Att: Est 400 and 2 dogs (one sporting a gnatty knitted jumper in Chesham colours)

An easy post-work journey to the end of the Metropolitan Line took me to deepest Buckinghamshire and Chesham, famous for boots, beer, brushes and Baptists. Stephen Fry went to school here, Eddie Howe grew up here and Nye Bevan died here. Much more importantly, Lieutenant Gruber from 'Allo 'Allo also resides here.

Chesham United are another merger club, this time dating back to 1917 when Chesham Town and the then appropriately named Chesham Generals (albeit named after the Chesham General Baptist Church and not trench slaughter) merged and then joined the Spartan League post World War One. Indeed, the club's nickname remains the Generals. A high point was the 1992/93 season when they would have been promoted to the Conference but for pesky ground grading.

Today their opponents were those top-of-the-table hyphenated chaps of Western-super-Mare (the Seagulls).

I knew that The Meadow had been used for filming some bits on Taskmaster and was keen to visit. As Alex Horne is also a Chesham director, he's putting on a comedy football night in May and the club have already shifted 1,200 tickets (an advert for said event occupied the front page of the programme). First impressions are really positive, with a large social club with views of the pitch next to the raised main stand and raised terracing with small covers on the three other sides. Indeed, it feels like a proper football ground and I liked it a lot, although it would presumably need a new main stand were promotion to occur.

As the game kicked off the fans made clear that this was Chess v Wez, although the first half was barely worth looking up from my phone for, especially as I was debating Finland's Eurovision entry with friends.

The second half continued to be execrable as I moved on to discussing Croatia's Eurovision offering. And then bugger me, to everyone's surprise on 69 minutes Chesham carelessly scored with a header that looped over the keeper.

The game then descended into farce as the Seagulls tried to bring a sub on with the wrong colour cycling shorts. This lead to the away manager being sent off and a substantial 4 minutes delay due to fannying about. With the flow of the game disrupted the away team then equalised from what looked like a cross cum shot. And that was that.

Absolute dogshite on the pitch. I enjoyed myself immensely.

Are those kits actually as indistinct from each other as the photo implies.

[Artificial Hipster]

Quick question - What is the easiest way to add photos on here? I cannot seem to do it off my phone.

Click the camera icon and if you're lucky you should get the result as below. Click in the box and you'll then be able to search for the photo you want to upload.

[Simon G]

Quick question - What is the easiest way to add photos on here? I cannot seem to do it off my phone.

Mine is simply copy and paste the picture into the reply.

Whenever I try to link or upload pics, I find it fails for some reason.

[The Mighty Trin]

Are those kits actually as indistinct from each other as the photo implies.

No, it was really easy to differentiate. How the camera lies!

[Bermuda Iron]

York 0 Scunthorpe 0
National League (att: 5,435, inc. 1,190 away)

Now, never let it be said I'm not afraid to mix things up, and when my friend told me he was considering booking us a table at a fabulous pizzeria in town rather than hitting up Lebaneat pre-match, I was completely open to the idea. This pizzeria is run by a crew from Campania (Cavese fans I believe) and they import all their ingredients from the region so it really is the real deal. They also do my absolute favourite pizza from my time living in Italy (anchovies, olives, capers, herbs, and no cheese).

We were tipped off that the Brazilian restaurant outside the ground wasn't letting in non-diners for once, so went straight into the ground when we got in there for a couple of cans of Brew York, proper decent craft. While I was queueing for those I noticed the crisp offering on our snack bar is Kettle Chips, and it struck me what a magnificently middle class experience a football trip to York is.

Scunny were wearing what appeared to be a tribute to the 1991 Australian cricket world cup kit, and their no.2 had taken it a step further by wearing a luxurious mullet. Beyond that, York 0 Scunthorpe 0 was absolutely everything you'd imagine it to be. Both teams shouldn't be relegated, but instead sent to some sort of purgatory to play each other only for a year to really think about what they've done. With nobody watching. That said, it was nice to see a full away end for once...

That good? I read on Twitter someone asked Scunny fans what the stadium was like. One response was:

”Not bad.
Looked like it’d come flat packed.

My only criticism is that it had 22 piles of shit dotted all over the pitch; and a giant turd in front of the away dugout.”

[Ray de Galles]

Cymru 1 Latvijas Republika 0
European Championship Qualifier
Stadiwm Dinas Caerdydd

A strange game, it was always going to be a case of 'After the Lord Mayor's Show' following the World Cup and The Miracle of Split while doing without our only two remaining form EPL players in Ben Davies and Brennan Johnson on top of all the retirements made it an even more transitionary squad than expected.

Ultimately it was a more comfortable win than the scoreline implies or that it felt like at times during the match. Hugely positive to start the group with four points and to have a sell out crowd of just under 33,000 though.

[Simon G]

Division 3
Cheltenham Town 2-2 Sheffield Wednesday

Wednesday fans will probably say they were shite for 75 mins, and they probably were, but for 75 mins we were the better team and deservedly two goals to the good. Once they pulled one back though the equaliser was inevitable and I wasn't even that gutted when it went in.

The weather was appalling and that seemed to affect the atmosphere, with everyone almost waiting for the ref to abandon the game. That didn't happen though and Cheltenham carved out some great chances in the first half, only Stockdale in the Wednesday goal keeping them in the game. Cheltenham rode the storm at the start of the second half before getting back on the front foot and we finally scored through Aidan Keena (2 in 2 now) who has been brilliant since coming in from Sligo. Alfie May - who else - put us 2 up and loads of Wednesday fans decided they'd had enough.

Annoyingly, it was at that point we decided to sit back rather than continue what we'd been doing to get ahead, and Bannan decided that actually he is the best player in the third tier so he'd better show it. And show it he did with a pinpoint cross for Aden Flint to pull one back. As soon as that went in we were hanging on and the last 15 really was a backs to the wall job, with Gregory tapping in from a yard out to equalise. We had a chance to win it late on when Broom cut in from the right, but he panicked and blasted wide instead of simply playing the ball across goal. Wednesday then spanked the post with the last kick of the game. That all 22 players collapsed on the floor at the final whistle summed up just how hard it had been for both teams.

For a neutral, it would have been a cracking game to watch.

[longeared]

Maltby Main 1-2 Penistone Church
Northern Counties East League Premier Division

Final visit of the season to Muglet Lane, and a lively game considering there was nothing riding on it. Both sides are mid table so it was a familiar type of game for the ground where slope advantage was a big factor. Maltby had the better of the first half but didn't capitalise on it as Penistone equalised on half time with a towering header, then Penistone were better second half. There was a bit of needle in the game, there was an away player sin binned towards the end of the first half, then early in the second the Maltby centre forward should have been sent off for forcefully shoving a defender to the ground - there was considerable surprise at him only getting a yellow. Right on the end he got booked again for diving and the suspension means he'll miss the county cup final whenever that happens. Amidst the commotion a Maltby player also got sin binned so they finished with nine men. "Fucking embarassing, fucking get worse every fucking week" said the sin binned player as he came past, which possibly was a degree of frustration as he'd been excellent to begin with before fading out of the match.

Like last Wednesday a huge downpour swept in midway through the second half, so it was all rather a wet finish and a committee member talked about their microclimate - among their other games this month there's been a huge snowfall and on the day Rotherham got abandoned they barely had a drop of rain. Entertaining evening out for a meaningless match.