Who are they!? Exacchhly!! (Matchgoing starting Friday 5 Aug)

[Southport Zeb]

Newton-le-Willows 4-3 FC St Helens Reserves (Cheshire League Two)

I had to be back in Southport for the evening, so a local revisit was on the cards. I ended up going for Newton-le-Willows, where it turns out I'd been on the same Saturday last year (my main memory of that game was cold and torrential rain, so I can understand why I hadn't remembered it as being early August). Much nicer today and a surprise flypast from a World War II Dakota beforehand (I think they were more aiming for the nearby Newton Town Show).

Newton took the lead after half an hour when a high ball into the area was largely ignored by the visitors defence, and a home forward finished. St Helens equalised early in the second half and then added two more in the next five minutes. Newton pulled one back but it looked like the visitors were going to hold on, with one of their defenders blocking a shot on the line with a very delicate body part. With a couple of minutes left Newton won a penalty, but it was blasted into the bar. However in the resulting scramble, the home side found a penalty. Finally deep in stoppage time Newton scored a late winner, sparking huge celebrations.

[Paul S]

This thread is outstanding

https://twitter.com/twoht/status/1555962615112912896?s=21&t=Jc2RaM5fl_g_t2xrD51_mQ

https://twitter.com/twoht/status/1555914078534701056?s=21&t=Jc2RaM5fl_g_t2xrD51_mQ

I love the otters comment in all of that.

[BallochSonsFan]

Albion Rovers 1 - Dumbarton 2. Attendance: 372.

Cliftonhill is a throwback to more a more traditional football era. A small pavilion stand with a combination of seats and standing, uncovered terracing behind one goal and a covered terracing running the length of the opposite touchline that's fit only to host a few pigeons and both teams substitutes. There's a certain charm to grounds like these. The volunteer staff are friendly - welcoming the visiting Dumbarton fans with warm hospitality and talk of anticipation of the return fixture offering Albion Rovers fans an enjoyable day out, the satisfyingly tasty pies provided by a quality local baker and a general feeling that despite its poor state, Cliftonhill will be around for another hundred years. Quite what state Albion Rovers will be in by that point is anybody's guess - the combined total of 372 attendees doesnt seem anywhere near enough to sustain senior league football. But after 90 minutes of an overcast Saturday afternoon, both sets of fans left the ground feeling that the visitors had been lucky to take all 3 points.

It was the home side who took the lead, Lewis Kidd with a simple tap in after a good counter attack and dangerous low cross by Charlie Reilly. That goal was certainly in keeping with the early feel of the game, with Sons keeper Brett Long already being called into making a very sharp save and the crossbar also conspiring to deny Albion Rovers. A 10 minute spell of ill discipline gave Dumbarton a way back into the match. Kyle Flemming's dismissal for a poorly timed tackle causing some confusion in the stand, but the red card attracted few complaints form the players on the pitch. 2 minutes later and the referee was again the centre of attention, this time awarding a penalty that Rovers fans felt harsh. Stuart Carswell stepped up to slot the spot kick home and tie the match. The first half would finish 1-1 and the home side felt genuinely aggrieved to be going back to the dressing room with the game tied.

Dumbarton failed to take advantage of the man advantage for much of the game. Albion Rovers started the game with a very effective high press and the loss of Flemming didn't seem to deter them. They gave no time or space to the Sons midfield and the visitors often resorted to long balls towards the fullbacks for lone striker Declan Byrne to chase. The visitors struggled to create anything of real quality and you felt that if either team was going to find a winner then the 10 man home side were by far the more likely. The introduction of Ryan Wallace late in the 2nd half proved to be the difference. His hopeful 82nd minute cross from the far touchline dropped dangerously around the 6 yard box. Nobody could clear it, no Son's player could get on the end of it, but in bizarre fashion the ball somehow found a way beyond Jack Leighield and into the home net. Dumbarton were able to see out the remaining 8 minutes. The home fans felt understandably miffed that, despite being the better team for much of the 90 minutes, it was the visitors who took all 3 points. The travelling Sons fans certainly sympathised with them. It was a battling performance from a home team many have tipped for a relegation dog fight this season and a lacklustre showing from a Dumbarton team fancied to at least make the play-offs. More performances like that from Albion Rovers and it wouldn't be surprising to see them in mid table safety and without any serious concerns of the Lowland League trapdoor come April. More of the same from the visitors and the fortunate 3 points from Cliftonhill perhaps become draws or even losses and serve as a dampener on the Sons' 150th birthday celebrations.

[HeavyDracula]

Fisher FC 0-0 Sutton Common Wanderers FA cup extra preliminary round

Despite the scoreline and the weather, the game was generally end to end, played at lightning pace throughout and just lacked a goal, which on the balance of play, Fisher deserved against higher level opposition.

Man of the match was probably Fisher's somewhat petulant but gifted no. 4, Michael Sarpong. From kick off it was hard to ignore him as his team mates begged him to come deeper, pull wider, just do anything other than what he felt like doing, which included numerous chats with his mate standing next to us, many times as the ball was in play. But when he was on the ball, play would move quickly with single touches setting free the Fisher front 3. Fisher dominated the second half, and Sarpong would come close to scoring a header from a corner, that hit the bar. At the end, he got cramp, "forget me, I'm out of it" he told his team mates. Then they got a corner and he started going mental whilst limping "I'm free, I'm unmarked!". But a corner was whipped in and Fishers beefcake number 10 skied it over for the final whistle. Sarpong berated and publicly shamed the corner taker, because he was unable to read his complex double bluff, it got a bit tense, but thankfully another Fisher player intervened, "Jesus Michael, we have bigger issues and problems".

Great game and afternoon.

Michael Sarpong is my new favourite player.

[Capybara]

Queens Park Rangers 3-2 Middlesbrough
League Division Two

I guess that with one of the stands being renamed in Stan Bowles’ honour, and QPR fan Chloe Kelly being presented at half-time, it was never meant to be Boro’s day. But to be three down in not much more than half an hour wasn’t what was envisaged either. QPR's first was a cracker or bad defending, depending on your point of view, and Boro's reaction was to be all at sea for the next 20 minutes. Middlesbrough pulled one back with most of those round me already in the bar for half-time and they were still there when Marcus Forss scored his first for Boro to give them a little bit of hope. From then on, Boro had most of the play but couldn’t score the equaliser and didn't really look like doing so either (apart from a disallowed effort) and were always susceptible to a breakaway, and it was stopping one of these that earned summer signing Darragh Lenihan a sending off in injury time to complete Boro's misery. On a hot day, both teams would have been knackered but for Rangers’ frequent injury breaks and extended substitutions. Att: 15796.

[Artificial Hipster]

Trafford 6-0 AFC Liverpool
FA Cup Extra Preliminary Round

With the boy and 2 of his pals in tow I settled on a revisit to Shawe View in Urmston for a superb, child friendly attacking display from the hosts. Centre forward Tom Bentham was unplayable, bullying his marker to set himself up for his first after just 2 minutes and powering a header back whence it came to complete his hat trick in added time.

The highlight for young master H came with one of Liverpool's subs tossing a few balls up for him to head back to him at HT, that and being handed, along with all the other kids who wanted them, a red and yellow card by the ref after the game.

471 witnessed the entertainment. Urmston doesn't yet have the hipster element that Chorlton does but it's drawing in more and more people priced out of the latter and the crowd was a nice mix of families enjoying an afternoon beer with friends in the sunshine as well as a younger, more vocal element, presumably being also responsible for the variety of flags and banners around the ground, who kept a series of songs and chants going throughout most of the match. Nothing about houmous and nothing about hating tories though - they've got a long way to go to match West on that score yet.

[steveeeeeeeee]

Michael Sarpong is my new favourite player.

Another Sarpong moment returned to my memory this morning. During a first half break in play, he ran to the touchline near us to get water, which he took with him as wandered around the pitch, complaining to his mate that the injured player would use up necessary subs. At this point, a teammate ran up to him, "Hey Michael, Michael, gimme some water."

Sarpong took another swig, held the bottle up so it was in both players' line of sight and then threw it out of play towards the fence where we were standing, walking off with total ambivalence. He was never confronted by his teammates no matter how much he annoyed them. They all seemed resigned to dealing with his general insistence to play to his own rules of the game. It was as if Fisher FC were getting in the way of what he is truly capable of.

Saying all of this, he was a fantastic midfielder when focussed and a decent one at other times.

[E10 Rifle]

Crawley 0 Leyton Orient 1

I've finally managed to tick off this deeply unappealing away trip, and a second straight win against the crypto-club, whose fans seemed deeply unimpressed with their own team - and perhaps things in general. It wasn't much of a game and we were blunt in attack, so thank the Lord for our sparkling Welsh wing-back Tom James, who hammered home his second piledriver in consecutive games to win it for us.

[elguapo4]

Bohemian fc women 3 Sligo Rovers women 1

A FAI Cup quarter final on a sunny Saturday afternoon, between two sides hoping to reach the semi final for the first time.

This is Sligo's first season as a women's side,and while they have held their own so far the difference in class quickly became obvious, as Bohs finished the game as a contest, with a three goal lead at ht.

Bohs number 11 Abby Brophy made a huge difference. One of the fastest players in the league, she has been forced to play at right back due to injuries for most of the season, but today she was let show her attacking side, and from the kickoff she tormented the Sligo left back. It was no surprise when she opened the scoring, out pacing her marker to a lovely pass through the inside forward channel and finishing comfortably.

On the left flank, Bohs number 19 Niamh Prior may not have Brophy's pace, but certainly was her equal in skill, and she had a hand in the other two goals, firstly when her cross was handled by a nervous Sligo defender for a penalty, converted by Erica Burke, and just before half time Prior got to the byline, and her hard cross/ shot was turned into her own net by a Sligo defender.

At half time Sligo Rovers made a couple of much needed changes, and pulled a goal back, their number 10, and best player, shooting home at the back post following a good move. Sligo continued to press, but the Bohs defence, marshalled by the excellent Lisa Murphy, were more than equal to them, and could have got a fourth on the break if Brophy had been more selfish and took on the chance herself.

Still,we're in the semi final , and a crowd of 863 ensured good business for the chip van, ice cream man and the bar.

Sorry for no photos, I never think of taking any until too late.

[Snake Plissken]

Burnley 1 Luton Town 1

The first home game for Vincent Kompany's Burnley^TM and it was virtually a sellout in the sunshine. The new manager got a huge reception from the home faithful and optimism was high. So with some degree of inevitability, Luton dominated the initial exchanges and scored a scrappy goal with less than five minutes on the clock. The visitors seemed to be fielding a team of giants compared to Burnley, with Adebayo causing problems all game. After Luton bossed the opening ten minutes, the home side managed to get a foothold in the game and began to control things. However, the visitors were organised, dropping into two banks of defenders no more than 20 yards apart plus one man marking John Cullen. I mean this as a high compliment, they looked like Old Burnley and the Clarets had plenty of the ball but didn't look much like threatening.

Halftime musings were we needed a physical threat up front and Kompany brought on the newly signed Manuel Benson, all five foot four of him. However, presumably having been satisfied with his work for the first forty five minutes, Luton's left fullback was about to have a Very Bad Day. Benson had him on toast for the entire second forty five, displaying the full range of tricks in the book marked "Mercurial Nippy Winger". After Burnley had taken two long range sighters from Ian Maatsen, a loose ball fell to Josh Brownhill to place into the bottom corner for a 49th minute equaliser.

The rest of the game was New Burnley pressure against Old Burnley defence, with the lack of bite up front from the Clarets on full display. Ashley Barnes was purest Ashley Barnes, with trampolines on his feet instead of football boots and having a proper old school battle with the central defenders.

All in all an entertaining game against a side who are a good marker for the Championship. Burnley are at least a striker short and are going to lose most of the physical battles. The defence looks terrifyingly wobbly (and Muric loves going for a wander) but we've been utterly spoiled by a decade of solidity at the back. Going forward, Maatsen, Vitinho and Benson are a joy to watch, all trickery. Dara Costelloe is an indictment of Dyche not looking at the youth setup. Harwood-Bellis is going to be a Premier League star. How this team looks on a wet Tuesday night in Stoke is going to be interesting, but interesting is not something Burnley have been for a few years. Kompany has got a lot of raw talent there and is encouraging them to play and to be honest, I'm happy to watch that no matter what the result.

[Cousin Boneless]

Coventry Sphinx 0-1 Bedwrorth Utd
Coventry City P-P Rotherham United

For the latter, out game was postponed as the rugby sevens ruined our pitch. There's real anger at the landlords (Wasps) about this.

On Saturday, I watched the FA Cup Preliminary game at Coventry Sphinx. Ex-City player and Steve Ogrizovic's son in law William Edgenguele scored the winner for Bedworth, which is a small town just outside of Coventry

Sphinx had a player sent off, Bedworth had a goal disallowed and a penalty saved. Not the best game but good entertainment.

[cantagalo]

Leicester City 2 Brentford 2
Premier League

A tremendous comeback by Brentford instigated by Thomas Frank's bold substitutions and tactical changes. They had been pleased to reach half-time just a goal down, only to concede a second within 30 seconds of the restart. Frank switched to three at the back and brought on Keane Lewis Potter and Josh DaSilva. Goals by Ivan Toney and a trademark DaSilva effort, a cut-in onto his left foot and curler into the top corner earned a deserved point.

All five substitutions made a positive impact. In contrast, Brendan Rogers just made one, replacing the excellent Dewsbury-Hall with a forward, Dakson Pata, when they were 2-1 up. Very strange.

[imp]

Eintracht Frankfurt 1 Bayern Munich 6 (51,500)
FSV Frankfurt 1 TSG Balingen 0 (1,126)

"Killt die Scheissbayern!" I roared as the teams came out for the start of another exciting Bundesliga season where Bayern will win everything and everyone else fuck all. It really worked, my motivational call, resulting in one of the most embarrassing and inept defensive 45 minutes I've seen from any team, ever. It reminded me of Brazil v Germany 2014, but in this case the half-time score should have been 1-8. The second half was just for show, we really needn't have bothered. I left with three minutes to go to beat the rush, the second game in a week I've left before full-time. I can only accredit it to getting old, along with a hatred of crowds full of people who annoy me by being too damned slow.

Next day, for reasons unknown, I cycled across town for the Regionalliga Südwest opener, an absolute blocked rectum of a game, but that's not unusual at FSV. The two blokes behind me in the ticket queue were looking forward to the new season. "I saw the pre-season friendlies," said one. "Just terrible. We're definitely going down this season." Last season FSV escaped relegation to the fifth tier Hessenliga on goal difference. The club fanzine is not much more optimistic, saying that quite a few fans had been looking forward to the Hessenliga - shorter journeys, new grounds, maybe win a few games etc. Instead, a season of low budgets and struggle lies ahead.

There was one proper goal chance all game, for Balingen, thwarted by a low save to his left by the FSV keeper, Henry Bremer. At 90 minutes I mosied on down the terrace, pausing at the exit to watch one final FSV attempted attack. Lively but slightly tubby sub and former East Grinstead and Hampton & Richmond Borough forward Kyle Spence (born in Croydon, a Coventry youth product) toe-poked a long pass around the out-rushing Balingen keeper and got duly flattened for his troubles. Leon Müller slammed the penalty in. Yay! Football's great again!

[Foot of Astaire's]

Bolton 3-0 Wycombe
Division 3

Football is rarely this good. A sunny day, great crowd, good vibe about the place and a young, swashbuckling side playing lovely football. I'll have to remember this day, when I'm frozen stiff or wet through in winter, watching us struggle to string two passes together.

Wycombe are a decent, well drilled side and the relatively early goal, meant they had to drop their usual time wasting tactics. It made for a much better game with both sides creating chances but Bolton had the lions share and 3-0 was about right.

[Artificial Hipster]

Maine Road 3-3 Cammell Laird
NWCFL Division One South

The late postponement of Mrs H's pilates session last night meant for an unexpected bonus in the form of a cracker at Brantingham Road. When the home side's no.7 belied his bulk to spin his full back on the right for the umpteenth time in the first half before dribbling into the box and laying an inch perfect pass across goal where only a superb last ditch tackle prevented a certain fourth goal for his side, no one could have believed that the intervention would prove to be quite as decisive as it turned out to be.

There was a lot of weight on the pitch all told. The bearded Reece Lyndon up front for the home side resembles a villain from the wrestling ring more than a footballer but it was the introduction by the visitors of a player we thought at first was an out of shape Ted Robins who turned the game. His long throws caused chaos and it was from a corner which followed one such that he powered in a header for his side's second on the night. There was still ten on the clock when the equaliser went in as well as what felt like an eternity of added time with the referee seemingly having decided it was to be 'next goal wins' but in spite of both sides going close it remained honours even with both sides having to settle for their first points of the season.

[Gangster Octopus]

Just missed the kickoff. But I'm here now. Thornaby are the opposition.

[Gangster Octopus]

Attempted overhead kick by a Thornaby player almost comes off.

[Gangster Octopus]

Inevitably Thornaby score. Bugger.

[Gangster Octopus]

IMG_20220809_200901.jpg

[Gangster Octopus]

The Yorkshire team continue to be the better side in the second half. And, more importantly, Penrith still don't sell tat...

[Gangster Octopus]

IMG_20220809_210940_hdr.jpg

[Gangster Octopus]

Beat that sky Brentford boy...

[Gangster Octopus]

Seriously stupid defending gifts the Yorkshiremen a second. But, more importantly, I'm going to upset my wife, because I've managed to get a Penrith scarf...

[Gangster Octopus]

Fast move down the left and it's three.

[Gangster Octopus]

We pull one back from a free-kick to the far post.