Hollerbach's Mettwurst - Bundesliga 2022/23

[G-Man]

The new Bundesliga schedule is out, and the season starts with a cracker on August 5: Bayern vs Frankfurt. Bayern has not always looked great against Eintracht. On the other hand, no defending champion has lost their opening game since those things became official in 2002.

But the pick of the first round is Union Berlin vs Hertha BSC. Though it's always a pity for fans to have a derby early in the season. It ought to be something to look forward to for a longer period of time.

The promoted sides starts away from home, Schalke at Köln, and Werder at Wolfsburg.

The Bayern vs Dortmund games will be on Rounds 9 and 26.

[JVL]

Bugger. Stuttgart are up in Bremen on the second weekend of the season, which is when we'll be visiting family in Reutlingen. Would have been nice to get a game in.

[imp]

Frankfurt is hosting the opener. Good way to start a season in which we shall become German and European champions. Or get relegated.

[treibeis]

What's this "Bayern has" and "Frankfurt is" crap? Have you remembered/forgotten where you come from?

[G-Man]

Both are singulars, not really collectives. You don't say "The Conservative Party have lost an election", do you? Unless you're drunk on account of celebrations relating to the Tories of my admittedly unrealistic example being turfed out and can't master the rudiments of grammatical rules.

[sw2borshch]

Aye, 'the Tories have lost'. Or 'the Conservatives have been booted out'. But yeah, 'the Conservative Party have lost power following the General Election' is correct, eventually.

[Capybara]

I think this was discussed on another thread some time ago with the conclusion that UK English is very much the outlier here with US English and such European languages as were discussed at the time all using the singular.

Anyway, here's this year's fixture reveal from Augsburg:

https://twitter.com/FCAugsburg/statu...40079933837317

[imp]

What's this "Bayern has" and "Frankfurt is" crap? Have you remembered/forgotten where you come from?

Pretty much, thank God.

[G-Man]

So, Götze to Frankfurt is a done deal. I reckon it's a great signing. If he turns out to be a great signing, I shall trawl imp's past posts to see if he ever write anything horrible about young Mario.

[ursus arctos]

Speaking of Eintracht, Sebastian Haller is supposedly on his way to Dortmund from Ajax

[treibeis]

So, Götze to Frankfurt is a done deal. I reckon it's a great signing.

Since he scored his goal in 2014, he's played fewer than 100 games in the First XI. He's 30 years old. He's illness-prone.

Define "great".

[G-Man]

Huge talent, comes cheap. Needs a coach who won't fuck him around.

[treibeis]

Huge talent, comes cheap. Needs a coach who won't fuck him around.

Oh, go bollocks.

You're using the German "Talent" here, aren't you? He's thirty fucking years old.

And everybody needs everybody who won't fuck them around. Götze has always had coaches who didn't fuck him around. And he still wasn't very good.

[imp]

So, Götze to Frankfurt is a done deal. I reckon it's a great signing. If he turns out to be a great signing, I shall trawl imp's past posts to see if he ever write anything horrible about young Mario.

You'll find nothing, I've always been a fan. During the 2014 World Cup final I was wearing a bootleg green German away shirt with his name on the back. Fuelled on something liquid, I growled about how he was going to come on and score the winner just as he was being subbed in, citing the psychic power of the dodgily printed name on the back of my by now sweaty polyester non-replica garment. There's a picture of me on someone's phone of me bigging myself up after The Goal.

He's a deft, neat delightful player, and I was fantasising about us signing him earlier this summer, but usually players like that don't come to Frankfurt. But now we're in the Greed League, so I suppose we can for a while, at least. I would love to see Alario here too, which is also looking a good possibility.

[treibeis]

He's a deft, neat delightful player

Is somebody paying you to say that?

[Amor de Cosmos]

Seb Polter has fetched up at Schalke. Which seems a bit above his level to me, but who knows.

[treibeis]

Seb Polter has fetched up at Schalke. Which seems a bit above his level to me, but who knows.

You obviously don't.

Schalke is exactly his level. Lower-reach Bundesliga.

[G-Man]

Goodness, everybody is spending silly money, and Köln is getting a defender from Birmingham, a striker from Dortmund II, a reject winger from Hannover, and a defensive midfielder whom RB Leipzig loaned out because he's not good enough for them. And Steffen is probably going to make worldbeaters of them all...

[Amor de Cosmos]

You obviously don't.

Schalke is exactly his level. Lower-reach Bundesliga.

I wouldn't rate him as high as that TBH.

[imp]

Is somebody paying you to say that?

No, but I'm open to offers. Are you a representative of Götze Enterprises, by any chance? I knew that mini-golf hut was just a front for something more sinister.

[treibeis]

No, but I'm open to offers. Are you a representative of Götze Enterprises, by any chance? I knew that mini-golf hut was just a front for something more sinister.

The hut is the cash-only headquarters of "Götze's Not Really Very Good" e.V.. There are 100,000 paid-up members, including his mother.

[imp]

This season's going to put you out of business. Your hut will be razed and replaced with a statue of 2023 World Player of the Year Götze holding the European Cup aloft.

[G-Man]

Damn, that escalated fast. All I said was that I thought Götze would be a good signing...

[treibeis]

All I said was that I thought Götze would be a good signing...

As my father used to say, "'Thought' thought he'd shit himself, but he'd only farted."

[treibeis]

This season's going to put you out of business. Your hut will be razed and replaced with a statue of 2023 World Player of the Year Götze holding the European Cup aloft.

No, no. Your best player - the one with the BMI of Scafell Pike and the turning circle of an oil rig - has just retired. You'll be lucky to win the pre-match toss-up.

Edit: I meant Hinteregger, not Chandler.