The death of the false nine - transfers summer 2022

[caja-dglh]

TAB’s point is after a full decade of loving Alex Ferguson and his results, the tide changed.

[Snake Plissken]

Wolves have signed Manuel Nunes from Sporting for £50m.

[hobbes]

That's a relief. The Liverpool rumour bullshit pump will have to switch to a different next final piece of the jigsaw for a couple of weeks.

[steveeeeeeeee]

Wolves have signed Manuel Nunes from Sporting for £50m.

Matheus. He is a very good player, wasn't obvious to me at first, but clearly the engine behind Sporting's resurgence in recent years. Moving to Wolves is a sensible move given his similarity in style to the ageing Moutinho. He has that great ability to drive and run with the ball from inside his own half. Should be an exciting addition to English football.

Forgot to add, £50m is a classic bit of Mendes tomfoolery, I wonder how much Sporting will see of that money? Possibly a way of shifting cash around to facilitate Ronaldo's return? Wouldn't surprise me.

[Lang Spoon]

That's a relief. The Liverpool rumour bullshit pump will have to switch to a different next final piece of the jigsaw for a couple of weeks.

And meanwhile the In Klopp We Trust frothers will be insisting a crocked geriatric midfield and two Fulham kids is more than enough to challenge for the title.

[Lang Spoon]

Oh I forgot Curtis Jones, who if fit will undoubtedly make De Bruyne look a laboured clogger.

[The_Purple_Cow]

Casemiro claims he was "flattered" by the interest from Manchester United (I'm guessing his P.R. people told him he had to say that) so he texted Varane and Ronaldo and "...they told me not to come".

[Nocturnal Submission]

I used to think that given Manchester United's financial heft, global fanbase and reputation, they'd eventually climb back to the top of the game, probably sooner rather than later.

Now I'm starting to have my doubts.

[Snake Plissken]

The table is tilted so far in their favour then they are as likely to return by sheer luck as much as anything else. Mourinho got them to second, he'll tell you it was because of his own genius, other people - unkind people - may put it down to his rivals continually shooting their own feet off.

[EIM]

This transfer window has been hilariously inept. Even worse than Moyes's first. Ten Hag should walk, really. "Like building a plane while trying to fly it" his job has been described as. A hiding to nothing. I'm so excited to see the absolute bullshit Arnold and Murtough pull on transfer deadline day. Laughing my cock off as we bring in random assorted idiots out of sheer panic will be well worth the £700 I spent on my season ticket.

[EIM]

"What midfielders do you know?"
"De Jong?"
"Already turned us down."
"Casemiro?"
"Same."
"Wilshere?"
"I think he retired."
"Errmmm... McTominay?"
"He already plays for us."
"Shall we just give Phil Jones a new 5 year deal?"
"Fuck it, that'll do."

[That Night In Barcelona]

They should buy players from the other big teams in England, just like Man City did when they were trying to move up from midtable to title chasers. Give Mark Hughes the job.

[EIM]

They should buy players from the other big teams in England, just like Man City did when they were trying to move up from midtable to title chasers. Give Mark Hughes the job.

I'd have him upfront at this point.

[Toby Gymshorts]

It's the summer of the big, handsome fucker up front.

Is it too late to change this to "big, stupid fucker"?

[caja-dglh]

EIM at least Rabiot's mum is looking out for your team.

[Snake Plissken]

Nottingham Forest reported to be signing Morgan Gibbs-White from Wolves for

*checks notes*

*checks again*

*looks offstage quizzically*

*shrugs*

FORTY FOUR POINT FIVE MILLION POUNDS.

[Toby Gymshorts]

I read that last bit in the voice of Dr. Evil.

[Snake Plissken]

Shit, did the mask slip for a moment?

[That Night In Barcelona]

Nottingham Forest reported to be signing Morgan Gibbs-White from Wolves for

*checks notes*

*checks again*

*looks offstage quizzically*

*shrugs*

FORTY FOUR POINT FIVE MILLION POUNDS.

£44.5 million including add ons to be fair.

[Sean of the Shed]

£25m before the add ons. Looks an absolute bargain now, doesn't it.

[Fearful Symmetry]

Up here in East Yorkshire, players are still coming in. We've secured Ryan Woods on a 3 year deal, and I'm sure that cantagalo will confirm that we've got a good 'un.

We're also apparently close to securing Arsenal 'starlet' Salah Oulad M'Hand, which as someone has pointed out is what you shout when the Liverpool forward stands on one of your meathooks.

[Jon]

Well this Casemiro thing came out of nowhere, didn't it?

Looks like he's giving it some serious thought. A five year contract to a 30 year old. I don't think he'll get that from anywhere else. Plus, it goes without saying that he'd be on a vastly better superior salary than he's on at Madrid. And possibly more game time leading up to the World Cup.

[ale]

I think you may be a) massively overstating the level of johan cruyff b) ignoring the bit about jordi's career effectively being over by the age of 22 c) substantially understating the level of peter schmeichel.

Cruyff gets a lot of credit for the team efforts of Ajax and Holland, but it is worth noting that Ajax won the european cup after selling him, and the netherlands came closer to winning the world cup in 1978 than in 1974. He was a really good player, but his current reputation has as much to do with a lifetime of aggressively taking credit for everything, and putting the blame for everything bad on his enemies.

Am not sure that true. They were ahead in 1974 final unlike 1978. They never lost a game until final in 1974. Unlike 1978. And this without getting into the politics of either World Cup. As good as Argentina were lets just say 'their name was on cup' regardless. Which will probably distract from the relevant qualities of the Dutch squad at the two tournaments. And it also needs to be considered that Cruyff was the catalyst for them being credible world cup contenders in first place. Their international record prior to his influence was poor.

[EIM]

Casemiro reportedly having a medical tomorrow. This somehow manages to be quite a coup for United, whilst simultaneously showing the clubs transfer activity up as a complete fucking farce. Impressive.

[My Name Is Ian]

This transfer window has been hilariously inept. Even worse than Moyes's first. Ten Hag should walk, really. "Like building a plane while trying to fly it" his job has been described as. A hiding to nothing. I'm so excited to see the absolute bullshit Arnold and Murtough pull on transfer deadline day. Laughing my cock off as we bring in random assorted idiots out of sheer panic will be well worth the £700 I spent on my season ticket.

Casemiro notwithstanding, it's been fascinating to watch. I did go into the summer thinking, 'Well, surely they know how much work needs to be done and will have their shit together this time', and when they shipped Pogba and Lingard out quicksharp (might Henderson have had gobshite potential? Or am I basing that entirely on what he said after he pitched up at Forest?) it felt at least as though there'd be a bit more harmony in the dressing room.

But fucking Ronaldo, man. What a piece of work. The only reason I can think he held off until the 1st July is that that was when the European transfer windows were opening. And that just seemed to shatter this fragile confidence that had just started to build up over the previous few weeks. When were they really out the running for a Champions League place? March? April? Or perhaps, just perhaps, given United's shall we say 'hit and miss' record on qualifying for the damn thing and his advancing years, might they not have discussed this when he, you know, signed the damn contract? Maybe they just don't even consider that anything could happen that might be sub-opitimal.

And De Jong, I just can't even. I could quite see him pitching up at Old Trafford on transfer deadline day after Barcelona squeezed £120m or something for him.

If you'd asked me twenty years ago whether I would ever have thought that Manchester United would be so badly run that I would feel sympathy for their supporters, I'd have laughed my head off. But I have for a few years. And I support fucking Spurs