30 April - 3 May, the armchair football weekend

[DCI Harry Batt]

So I'm making it three in a row on iFollow today. It's still shit, and a shit experience, but I need to know what's happening. We're at home to Pompey, who are trying to stay in the playoff spots. If we can nick a point, we're safe and they're vulnerable, to Oxford (away at Salop) or Charlton (away at Stanley).

At least our division has all proper kickoffs. The second division denouement is getting messed up with an early Wednesday v Forest right now.

What's your poison this weekend? Anyone watch the Scottish second division last night?

[DCI Harry Batt]

(Palace - Man City on in the Prem rn, also, appaz)

[Uncle Ethan]

Has any player's form fallen off as much this season as Raheem Stirling's?

[Hot Orange]

Watched Ipswich v Sheffield United in the FA Youth Cup QF last night, which the good people of Sheffield United streamed live. Cracking game, won 3-2 by Ipswich, the winning goal coming minutes before the end of extra time. There was a total of 33 minutes of injury time, and kick off to final whistle was three hours as a result. Watching as an Ipswich fan, I was reminded that I don't hate football any more after all. Ipswich will be attempting to avoid being on the wrong end of a cricket score against Liverpool in the semi

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

Has any player's form fallen off as much this season as Raheem Stirling's?

Trent Alexander Arnold's spent most of 2021 looking up from one of those online 'colour by number' games on his phone whenever someone shouts at him. It's almost as though he was a better player when the world's best centre-half was ten yards away on the pitch telling him what to do.

[Gangster Octopus]

Two-nil to Manchester City, with two goals in less than two minutes.

[The Awesome Berbaslug!!!]

That goal by aguero was fucking ridiculous.

[DCI Harry Batt]

And we're off.

[DCI Harry Batt]

Ouch, that was poor defensively, they had a good chance there. Ballooned it over.

[DCI Harry Batt]

Damn, Rudi should have done better with that.

Lively start.

[DCI Harry Batt]

Ooh nice shot. Saved.

[Gangster Octopus]

Stuck with watching Final Score again...

[Gangster Octopus]

And we're losing already...

[Gangster Octopus]

As are Wealdstone...

[DCI Harry Batt]

So we've scored. Bit of confusion as the flag was oh they've equalised

[DCI Harry Batt]

FFS. Anyway, there was a flag up for offside when Pigott picked up the ball, he shot and it went in, and the ref over-ruled the flag.

Then Pompey equalised from the restart.

[Walt Flanagans Dog]

In the first 25 minutes of Orient v Carlisle both sides have had penalties saved, Orient scored in the third minute and had another ruled out which looked like it was well over the line.

They aren't piping crowd noise over this but if they have the technology they should be piping the sounds of swanee whistles and parping car horns.

[Tony C]

That goal by aguero was fucking ridiculous.

Well United can have him next season if they sort themselves out. If you like Cavani you’ll go nuts for Sergio.

[DCI Harry Batt]

This is a bit feisty.

Ah fuck. 2-1 Pompey.

[Gert from the Well]

Ipswich have rediscovered where the opposition goal is, and scored. This is not a drill.

[DCI Harry Batt]

OFFS
3-1. Well taken after some poor defending.

[Satchmo Distel]

Well United can have him next season if they sort themselves out. If you like Cavani you'll go nuts for Sergio.

You want them to keep dishing out big signing-on fees for veterans?

[DCI Harry Batt]

Donny two up, which is a relief as we're getting nothing here.

[Walt Flanagans Dog]

Now Carlisle equalise with their second penalty of the game.

[DCI Harry Batt]

We are down to ten men, as Ben Henegan oiled a hamstring after we'd already used all three sub slots.

The game's dead now.