Rant about commentators

[The Red Max]

That said, it drives me nuts when I hear about a player being "denied by the post/bar/woodwork".

Yeah, while we're at it, the frame of the goal hasn't been constructed of timber for decades.
They need to sort that out as well.

[DPDPDPDP]

Jobby not hobby.

Bloody auto correct. Sorted now. My hobby is now a jobby!

[tee rex]

But you've ruined the gag. (winky thing)

[Kowalski]

The only thing I dislike more than a co-commentator is two co-commentators.

The current commentating / analytical practices I dislike are;

• When someone punctuates every word in a sentence as if an event of earth-shattering significance has just taken place.
• When someone does the above in their best post goal commentator's "OH. MY. WORD. THAT'S. A.. GOAL!!!!" voice.
• When someone seems personally offended by a mistake.
• When someone deploys the banter.
• Robbie Savage's opinions. He's sullied my memory of Hal Robson Kanu's Cruyff turn with his "See Ya Denayer!!". It's like nails down a blackboard every time I see the clip.

My Dad was a BBC man and couldn't stand Brian Moore, so I naturally gravitated towards an anti-ITV attitude. Over the last few years I've watched The Big Match Revisited enough times to wonder what Mr. Moore had done to wind my Dad up. In comparison with today his style seemed perfect for football, especially as the host.

Looking back from 2021's postmodern loftiness I still find the philosophical attitudes about football results on The Big Match Revisited refreshing. I know this gentler way of presenting football was easily satirised by Ron Manager but I'd rather have philosophical acceptance than another "Angry (Insert Name Here) blasts (Insert Name Here) over (Insert some issue or other)."

Having said all that about Brian Moore I'm fully behind for my my Dad's disdain for late '80s / early '9o's chic of "Live & Exclusive on ITV", actually having said that the power of you tube one can see that Elton Welsby looks better, certainly less hyperbolic, than one once thought,

Whilst one is on the subject, my Mum was right all along in 1992, what's with all of this talking about football? It doesn't change anything.

When they were open I liked the pubs that swapped the sound of analytical voices for music at half time and full time. Naturally I have missed the football programmes that started 10 minutes before kick off and ended 5 minutes after the final whistle like a desert misses the rain. What a day it was to discover that there's quite a lot of football coverage these days that starts almost at kick off and finishes about 45 seconds after the final whistle, then the cherry on the cake, there's absolute silence at half time. Perhaps it's not all bad.

Anyway, Tony Gubba.. He tricked me three times with his "Watch one of the Goal of The Season Contenders on Match of the Day tonight" schtick on Final Score before I realised that he couldn't be trusted. Needless to say I still prefer Gubba to the banter merchants and the excitable sentence punctuators.

I'll tell you who I miss; Gerald Sinstadt.

[Simon G]

I think the problem I have with commentators is a problem I have with football presentation in general - the fact that absolutely everything has to be so sensationalised.

I miss when they just describe what's happening. Stats are good, but I don't care how many minutes a team hasn't scored for - 2 and half games (for example) is as much detail as I care for.

[3 Colours Red]

The TV commentator, Keith Quinn, had his scripted Lomu lines ready - it was easy to predict that he'd be needing them.

...instead of saying something pompous like "the red rose is plucked by the Tongan teenager"

So that's who inspired Peter Drury's "ad-libs".

[Sits]

Disturbingly I remember where I was when that rugger thing happened. Didn't hear the kiwi feed, mind...

TGI Friday’s next to Reading Toys R Us.

[Sits]

Jonathan Pearce.

[RobW]

Less was always more when I was a lad. The days when the commentator was in charge and didn't introduce Trevor Brooking/Jimmy Greaves until at least 10 minutes of setting the scene. Then when the game kicked off they'd turn to the former pro sporadically. None of this conversational bollocks. Fine, it wasn't as if Brooking, for example, added anything particularly enlightening, but it was a rare intervention. There was no talking over each other or mumbling (which is what Tyler in particular does now) whilst play was going on. As with everything, commentators hung around far too long, like Motson. Barry Davies to his eternal credit retired from football. Martin Tyler should have retired years ago, and is just a parody of his former self.

[Walt Flanagans Dog]

I think it is Hugh Johns who commentated on the 1970 England v Brazil game that gets re-run on the BBC occasionally - but anyway the commentary is like a Harold Pinter play compared to modern commentaries.

[Simon G]

Less was always more when I was a lad. The days when the commentator was in charge and didn't introduce Trevor Brooking/Jimmy Greaves until at least 10 minutes of setting the scene. Then when the game kicked off they'd turn to the former pro sporadically. None of this conversational bollocks. Fine, it wasn't as if Brooking, for example, added anything particularly enlightening, but it was a rare intervention. There was no talking over each other or mumbling (which is what Tyler in particular does now) whilst play was going on. As with everything, commentators hung around far too long, like Motson. Barry Davies to his eternal credit retired from football. Martin Tyler should have retired years ago, and is just a parody of his former self.

I remember Barry Davies doing a Crystal Palace game when MOTD celebrated 50 years - it was so great to hear his voice again. It had an air of authority on a game which I don't think today's commentators have anymore.

[RobW]

I remember Barry Davies doing a Crystal Palace game when MOTD celebrated 50 years - it was so great to hear his voice again. It had an air of authority on a game which I don't think today's commentators have anymore.

I do remember a Fantasy Football League episode and they played a clip of Barry Davies commentating on Newcastle and after the ball went to Marc Hottiger, Davies just referred to him as "Swiss", rather than give his name. I can't recall if it was after a long period of silence or if it went something like "Barton.....back to Howey.....Swiss"

Weird the shit I remember when I was a teenager, but that always stuck with me.

[3 Colours Red]

Alan Green. Miserable bastard.

[treibeis]

Back then I understood stockings to be something ladies wore with suspenders belts at the top. In Mum’s Kay’s catalogue.

I dread to think how you reacted when Bobby Robson once claimed that one of his midfielders - possibly David Platt - had "worked his stocking tops off".

[Jah Womble]

I think it is Hugh Johns who commentated on the 1970 England v Brazil game that gets re-run on the BBC occasionally - but anyway the commentary is like a Harold Pinter play compared to modern commentaries.

Hugh Johns commentated on ITV’s coverage - David Coleman for the BBC.

[Capybara]

It was Kenneth Wolstenholme who did the 1970 final for BBC.

[Jah Womble]

Different game, guv.

[Capybara]

D'oh!

[ad hoc]

Analysts and "colour commentators" are clearly a big problem, but let;s not imagine this is a new thing. Back when televised live football became a thing (in the 80s?) one of the first of these people was also quite possibly the worst ever. Yes, I am, clearly, talking about Mick Channon. Inane, biased, never said anything interesting. He was genuinely terrible

[Sits]

Was it Channon who referred to Gary Lineker as "the boy linn-acre"?

[Sits]

I dread to think how you reacted when Bobby Robson once claimed that one of his midfielders - possibly David Platt - had "worked his stocking tops off".

Fortunately I was a little older by then, and knew a little more.

[Satchmo Distel]

"I've seen them given"

A meaningless statement on the validity of a penalty appeal. It's either a penalty or it isn't, irrespective of your anecdotal memories of a referee awarding one.

[Sporting]

"I've seen them given"

A meaningless statement on the validity of a penalty appeal. It's either a penalty or it isn't, irrespective of your anecdotal memories of a referee awarding one.

Excellent call.

[Nocturnal Submission]

Was it Channon who referred to Gary Lineker as "the boy linn-acre"?

Has his "political" run-in with Brian Clough on live TV ever been discussed on here? I presume so but really don't recall anything.

[treibeis]

Less was always more when I was a lad.

I remember watching a Germany game in the boozer in the early 1990s on which state-television stalwart Heribert Fassbender was commentating.

Midway through the first half, somebody pointed out that he hadn't said anything for about five minutes. After a further few minutes of idle speculation among the pub-goers about whether he'd accidentally pressed the Mute button or had gone for a currywurst or had quite simply been and went and died, Heribert piped up with, "Twenty-seventh minute. Nil-nil."

He wasn't wrong, either.