Hollerbach's Geisterspielwurst - Bundesliga 20/21

[Capybara]

Someone please tell me what's happening with promotion from the Regionalligen this year. I can see that this year's play-off is between Nord and Bayern but given that half the leagues haven't been playing how, if at all, are they determining the league winners and promoted teams?

[ursus arctos]

Bayern are playing a mini-tournament among Viktoria Aschaffenburg, 1. FC Schweinfurt 05 and SpVgg Bayreuth to determine their participant in the playoff. Those were the three best teams over the course of the matches played since 2019, once Turkgucu were promoted to the 3 Liga. The Nord participant is TSV Havelse, which won this season's curtailed and modified competition.

[Capybara]

Thanks. West and Suedwest look like completing the season but Nordost packed up in November albeit with Viktoria Berlin well clear at the top. It looks like we might see a couple of reserve sides promoted this season.

[ursus arctos]

Yes, Freiburg II are virtually assured of the title and Dortmund II look likely to catch and pass Rot Weiss Essen given their games in hand. Viktoria Berlin are already up.

[G-Man]

Bayern are playing a mini-tournament among Viktoria Aschaffenburg, 1. FC Schweinfurt 05 and SpVgg Bayreuth to determine their participant in the playoff. Those were the three best teams over the course of the matches played since 2019, once Turkgucu were promoted to the 3 Liga. The Nord participant is TSV Havelse, which won this season's curtailed and modified competition.

The Regionalliga Nord had two streams, one for Niedersachsen/Bremen and the other for Schleswig-Holstein/Hamburg. It was a rather fortunate circumstance for the regional federation, and Havelse, that Weiche Flensburg, who headed the latter league, didn't apply for a 3. Liga licence. Flensburg has been very consistently near the top for several years now. I think they might even lost a play-off for promotion some years ago. But Schweinfurt or Bayreuth will beat Havelse.

[G-Man]

Zwayer's a great ref. Ask anyone in Frankfurt.

Props to Jonas Hector for his post-match interview on DAZN. At the final whistle he was raging at Zwayer about something and then came off the pitch looking furious. Already then the dumb-assed DAZN commentators were licking their lips at the prospect of a hot and controversial interview, but they got more than they bargained for when they told Hector he could now "let off some steam". Their first question: "How empty are you feeling right now?" Hector: "I know it's your job to ask stupid questions, and you do your job very well." I almost want Cologne to stay up for that answer alone.

I love Jonas Hector.

And I hate it when Koln games are officiated by refs with the letter Y in their name. Zwayer and Brych are charlatans.

I also hate it when Koln games are officiated by refs with the letters A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X or Z in their names. Maybe a ref whose name consists of numbers or emojis might be the one who doesn't fuck us over. But then, VAR would overrule him when he forgets to fuck us over.

[imp]

You'll be delighted to know that Zwayer got a '6' from kicker for his performance - "two clear errors. Ignovski's foul on Duda (45th minute) was worthy of a red card; Hector's challenge on Gelios (32nd.) shouldn't have been called as a foul. On top of these two scenes, his overall judgment on tackles/fouls was not up to scratch." Being kicker, though, it had to criticise Hector's reaction in the DAZN interview as "unprofessional". That may be due to the magazine's general up-its-own-arseness and pomposity, or because they have a partnership with DAZN to produce joint content.

[treibeis]

I also hate it when Koln games are officiated by refs with the letters A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X or Z in their names. Maybe a ref whose name consists of numbers or emojis might be the one who doesn't fuck us over. But then, VAR would overrule him when he forgets to fuck us over.

Christ, you lot don't half go on. It's no wonder that - contrary to what you think - nobody can bloody stand you.

Northern Germans, now, we lose all the time - including next Saturday, when your lot'll win 2-1 and still fucking moan, about the ref, the weather or that the goat pellets for Hennes were staler than they might have been - yet we blame nobody but ourselves.

[G-Man]

Oh, Koln fans cast the blame widely, including the club itself. To the point of self-flagellation. But it's a scientific fact that we are getting screwed over by bad reffing, over and over again.

Next season is really the time for a relegation-threatened club to be in the 1. Bundesliga. The field of candidates is huge: Kiel/Koln, Bochum, Furth, Bielefeld, Mainz, Augsburg, possibly Hertha again. Hoffenheim might get dragged down. Freiburg is always a possibility, You never know about Stuttgart. Plus the usual Absturzverein, the big name that implodes for a season. And Union might come down from their high. So the chances of staying up are pretty good, with Werder and Schalke out of the mix.

Conversely, the 2. Bundesliga is going to be tough to escape from.

[sw2borshch]

Depends on the direction.

[Sporting]

Well, this is going superbly - not! - for Kiel.

[sw2borshch]

Game saving header?

[treibeis]

G-Man's going to come on here in a minute. "Yes, we won, but the ref was a cunt, we should have won 9-1, why doesn't anyone HEAR me?" Fucking tart. Particularly as he comes from the village next to Kiel. Fucking tart.

[G-Man]

Nah, the ref was okay today. We should have won 7-1, but our failure to do so was all on our players. Actually, I feel really sorry for Kiel. I wish it hadn't been them we needed to beat.

As for the relationship between Lubeck and Kiel, there is a saying in the city that once was the Head of the Hanseatic League, at a time when Hamburg was its Baldrick, and for nearly eight centuries a free city: "We have been occupied three times: first by Napoleon, then by the British, and now by Kiel."

[Satchmo Distel]

Just catching up with WSC podcast E37. Harry Pearson notes that the Danish for a mullet is 'Bundesligah?r' because of that style's prominence in German football.

[CY_Boaby]

Just been watching the second-half of the 2.Bundesliga play-off between Osnabruck and Ingolstadt, with the home side winning 3-1. I had no idea Ingolstadt were already 3-0 up from the first leg, which explains the subdued atmosphere amongst the home support.

[G-Man]

Yeah, one Ingolstadt scored to make it 2-1 on the half hour, Osnabruck were screwed. Thanks to the away goal rule, they now had to win 5-1. Pity; I like Osnabruck.

[G-Man]

Mittelrhein Liga

1. Leverkusen
2. Mönchengladbach
3. 1. FC Köln
4. Fortuna Düsseldorf
5. Viktoria Köln
6. Fortuna Köln
7. Wuppertal
8. Straelen
9. Aachen
10. Wegberg-Beeck
11. Bonn
12. Bergisch-Gladbach
13. Hennef
14. FC Bocholt
15. Velbert
16. Freialdenhoven

[G-Man]

Westfalen Liga

1. Dortmund
2. Bielefeld
3. Schalke
4. Bochum
5. Paderborn
6. SC Verl
7. Duisburg
8. Uerdingen
9. RW Essen
10. Münster
11. Rödinghausen
12. Oberhausen
13. Wiedenbrück
14. Sportfreunde Lotte
15. VfL Homberg
16. Lippstadt
17. Ahlen
18. Gütersloh

[ursus arctos]

There is a very pre -1963 vibe to all of these

[G-Man]

Yeah, that is sort of the conceit.

[G-Man]

Schwabenliga (Baden-Württemberg)

1. VfB Stuttgart
2. SC Freiburg
3. Hoffenheim
4. Karlsruhe
5. Heidenheim
6. Sandhausen
7. Ulm
8. Bahlingen
9. Aalen
10. Balingen
11. Grossaspach
12. Alzenau
13. SVG Freiburg
14. Stuttgarter Kickers
15. Göppingen
16. Nöttingen

[G-Man]

Umlauts are bäck!

Südwest Liga (Hessen/Rheinland-Pfalz/Saarland)

1. E. Frankfurt
2. Mainz
3. Dramstadt
4. Saarbrücken
5. SVW Wehen
6. Waldhof Mannheim
7. Kaiserslautern
8. Elversberg
9. Offenbach
10. Steinbach
11. FSV Frankfurt
12. FC Homburg
13. RW Koblenz
14. FC Giessen
15. Hessen Kassel
16. FK Pirmasens
17. Walldorf
18. TSV Mainz

[Capybara]

Schwabenliga (Baden-Württemberg)

1. VfB Stuttgart
2. SC Freiburg
3. Hoffenheim
4. Karlsruhe
5. Heidenheim
6. Sandhausen
7. Ulm
8. Bahlingen
9. Aalen
10. Balingen
11. Grossaspach
12. Alzenau
13. SVG Freiburg
14. Stuttgarter Kickers
15. Göppingen
16. Nöttingen

Why is Alzenau in the Schwabenliga? Alzenau is in Bavaria (Bayern is in the name) although they play in the Südwest as Alzenau is very close to Frankfurt.

[Sporting]

"Since 1983 the club has played as a fifth tier side, first in the Landesliga Bayern-Nord and later in the Landesliga Hessen-Süd. Like the nearby club Viktoria Aschaffenburg, FC Bayern Alzenau is a Bavarian side playing in the state league of Hesse against closer, neighbouring cities. This also reflects in part the history of the region, not traditionally part of Bavaria"