Foxes, Dockers or Hoops - weekend matchgoing 16-18 Aug

[Guy Profumo]

Norwich City 3 Newcastle United 1

Glorious day in the sunshine at Carrow Road. Not the close game I expected, bar the first twenty minutes, in fact the score flattered United who could have lost by more. Norwich have carried on seamlessly where they left off last season, with the same intensity and energy. Newcastle appeared disjointed, were often second to every ball, and already look like genuine relegation candidates.

Watching the performances of Pukki and Joelinton, you'd be forgiven if you couldn't remember who was a free transfer and who cost £40 million.

And there was much rejoicing

Bettered only earlier today when the "new boys" beat Crystal Palace

[Southport Zeb]

Brightlingsea Regent v Merstham yesterday was a not particularly good 0-0 draw. Neither side managed to create much going forward. Brightlingsea have made quite a rise over the last few years, having played in Division Three of the Essex and Suffolk Border League as recently as 2005, but the ground is better than some other clubs that have similarly risen quickly and needed to make fast adjustments to their facilities.

Today I went to Felixstowe where Ipswich Town Ladies hosted AFC Wimbledon in the fourth tier of the women's pyramid. This was the first competitive game for both sides and they both looked a bit rusty, with some of the finishing in particular being woeful. Wimbledon took an early lead after the ball took an odd bounce over the seemingly well positioned keeper. Ipswich equalised just before half time following a corner, which turned out to be the end of the scoring. Before the game the Ipswich Twitter account was talking about going for promotion this season, but I feel that they will have to improve greatly for that to be realistic.

[Uros Predic]

Erith Town 3-3 Lordswood

I went for The Dockers in the end. Following RdG's description of his visit the other week I entered via the Leisure Centre the Stadium is part of... but it turns out the actual entrance was elsewhere as I wasn't asked for any money. Normally I'd try and seek out the 'turnstile' and pay the going rate, but as it took me the best part of 10 minutes to find an open, working gents toilet with little help from the staff on site I decided sod them.

Anyway, good game, and one that I still have no idea how Erith got anything out of. Lordswood dominated the first half before their very talented winger put them ahead with a 25 yarder, and when they doubled their lead before the break – whilst Erith were spending 10 minutes a man down following a sin-binning for dissent – it seemed just a matter of how many they'd win by. Erith made it briefly interesting before Lordswood went 3-1 ahead (the same winger releasing the forward with a great through ball and it looked like game over.

But three minutes from time Erith were awarded a slightly soft penalty, and Lordswood lost a man to the sin bin for some pretty ridiculous gamesmanship; meaning that they were then hanging on through the remaining minutes and injury-time a man down. They failed to do so; the hosts getting an equaliser in the second of four minutes of injury-time; the announcement of which had seen the Lordswood manager so incensed he hurled an entire tray of water bottles across the running track and into the stand. A both impressive and hilarious feat. I think the Lordswood 'keeper was shown a red card after the final whistle for harassing the officials – not sure why, the referee was excellent.

If Lordswood can learn to see a game out and hang onto their winger they'll be challenging at the top of the SCEFL Premier this season. Erith look like most other sides at this level.

[Ray de Galles]

That's strange, there was a chap based by the exit door from the leisure centre making sure nobody bunked in when I went. Though from looking at your photos elsewhere there was a much bigger crowd for the derby game than for Lordswood's visit so maybe that was a special measure.That said, the chap didn't actually take any money off me and just directed me to the turnstile which was hidden away in the corner to your left as you leave the leisure centre (with a burger van next to it) so maybe I could have got away without paying but I wanted a programme and badge.

[Third rate Leszno]

Marine 1-1 Dunston

After pissing the Northern League by 17 points last season, this was the first game at Step 4 for the visitors, who (pleasingly) have had to drop the 'UTS' from their name since FA rules prevent them from having any form of sponsorship as part of their name at this level. It was also new territory for Marine, following their first ever relegation last season.

Dunston were a big strong side, with a decent number of travelling supporters, but after an initial period where they looked the better side, Marine went in front with a glanced header by Niall Cummins after a smart cross from former Liverpool youth team starlet (and stalwart of many north west non league sides ever since) Craig Lindfield. Based on last season's form, I'd have put money on Dunston equalising, and with about 20" to go they did just that, a close range header in which the scorer managed to sustain a head injury that led to him being subbed.

No further goals, but a terrific defensive clearance that cleared the houses adjacent to the ground, and apparently the street and the houses on the other side of it as well. Well hoofed that man.

[cantagalo]

Brentford 1 Hull 1

Hull much better than I expected and it made a pleasant change to see an away team at Griffin Park give it a good go and actually try to attack. Brentford will take some time to integrate their new signings but could have won it by the end. All in all, a draw was a fair result.

Notts County 1 Wrexham 1

I think I like the narrative of National League football - here, for example, were two traditional teams desperate to regain league status - more than the actual product, because this was a dire game which neither team deserved to win. Worth mentioning an impressive Wrexham following of 1500, a sizeable proportion of which took the opportunity to visit the only remaining UK branch of Hooters.

[EIM]

I know it's the 19th, but I'm counting tonight's game as weekend matchgoing, not midweek.

This'll be the first time I've been to Wolverhampton since 2005. I was assistant 2manager of the Varsity in Durham, having been moved from my cushy gig in Lancaster to aid my development. Part of the company trying to persuade us they gave a fuck was holding Assistant Manager meetings, where they gave us an opportunity to provide ideas they could ignore, do some training, notify us of upcoming promotions, and skirt around the fact that with the thours we worked, and the pay we were given, we were all on way under minimum wage.

The 2005 meeting was in Molineux. I'd not met any of the other assistant managers before, and things got off to a bad start when one of them walked past a framed picture of Denis Irwin and said "Ah, look! Steve Irwin!". Fucking hell.

After the meeting, we all went to the Varsity bar in Wolverhampton town centre. There was a free bar, and all the other assistant managers were buying three VK bottles at a time, sticking them upside-down in a pint pot with a straw. "Every mouthful is a different flavour!" I had explained to me by some blert. I sat in the corner on my own with a pint. I'd only got four pints in when the other idiots, raging on alcopops and cheap shots, had cleared the whole 1k bar tab.

The theme for Varsity's upcoming new promotion was the circus, and at some point a box of circus fancy dress was brought down. Ring master gear, clown stuff, strongman, all that wank. There's nothing an idiot likes more than fancy dress, and within minutes people were circusified to different degrees. It was fucking depresssing, but very fitting. As we walked through Wolvehampton to another bar, a lad in clown pants, and long clown shoes racially abused a local, and did it ina comedy Indian voice for added hilarity. At this point I swerved off and went back to the hotel and planned out how I could leave the company.

I shouldn't have been surprised by any of this. On my very first day in Durham, my new boss was running through the staff. "She's alright," he said about one girl, "But I prefer a bit more cream in my coffee, if you know what I mean..." When I said I didn't, the other assistant manager added "She's a jigaboo."

If I'd been a bit older and wiser, I'd have fucked it off right then, but instead I persevered for three months until it became completely unbearable. I left with every single bridge a smouldering mess. But fuck them. No regrets.

So that was the last time I went to Molineux. I'm expecting a lot better tonight. We may not win, and indeed after two defeats there last season, you have to say we probably won't. But it'll be a laugh, and we might score, and there'll likely be a lot less Cirque du Soleil racism, which will be nice.

[Ray de Galles]

Something something Man United something something a circus themselves.

[Furtho]

Yep. It's catchy.

It sounds brilliant, but surely would be improved yet further by taking the "Poli-politics, politics, left wing politi-ics" approach.

[MonkeyHarris]

Norwich City 3 Newcastle United 1

Glorious day in the sunshine at Carrow Road. Not the close game I expected, bar the first twenty minutes, in fact the score flattered United who could have lost by more. Norwich have carried on seamlessly where they left off last season, with the same intensity and energy. Newcastle appeared disjointed, were often second to every ball, and already look like genuine relegation candidates.

Watching the performances of Pukki and Joelinton, you'd be forgiven if you couldn't remember who was a free transfer and who cost £40 million.

Nice to see a team of supposed no-names at a club with little net spend and transfer market profits over the past three or four seasons play positive attractive football and get what they deserve. A shame it was against my club but can't begrudge the result. And yeah, it could've been more. We were dire.

From clean slates for returnees, attacking football and being his own man, there seems to be no correlation between what Steve Bruce says and what he does. Instead of including players who featured in pre-season in his 25-man squad, he's picked six centre-halves (Dummett more a CB than a wing-back) and those out injured who'll need time to recover. He could've gone with what we had and revised the 25 in January if and when the crocks have proven their fitness playing for the U-23s.

The formation is essentially the same as under Benitez, though we're 5 yards higher up the pitch, which negates the point of having three centre defenders and three centre midfielders as we're easier to penetrate now without two banks sitting deep. I don't see the point in three central defenders playing zonally and failing to pick up or close down one striker. Pukki's second and third goals are good illustrations of this. How someone who spent his career at centre-half can't see it defies belief. It's like he's constantly asking himself 'What would Rafa do?' to mitigate the fans frustrations but he doesn't have Rafa's unwavering mindset in the Church of Negativity nor the tactical knowledge to prepare his team sufficiently. What he's doing now is half-arsed lip service. That Isaac Hayden was our most effective attacker on Saturday speaks volumes.

I expect Bruce to be more conservative away to Spurs on Sunday but if he doesn't try something different in the cup match after that, I wonder if he'll even get the chance to change the system and formation and fail on his own terms rather than continue trying to emulate his predecessor without having the necessary skills before being dismissed. With the pace we have up top and the willingness of Hayden, Longstaff, Ritchie and Almiron to close down opponents, I'd like to see us press from the front in a 4-5-1 system similar to the one Ajax deploys. I'm sure Joelinton/Muto/Gayle could effectively use their pace for such a task, as could Saint-Maximin who must be eager to please the supporters. Let Shelvey stay deeper and think he's a quarterback, rotating with one of the others when he ambles forward. Have Lascelles or Fernandez man-mark and leave the other centre-half, presumably Schar, to cover. Considering how ineffective we've been after the first two games, Bruce will have to do something different at some point. At least I hope he will.

As bad as it looks at the moment, I still don't think we'll go down.

[Patrick Thistle]

Will Mike Ashley want to spring for a pay off for Bruce though? He seems quite happy to have someone take them down and then rip through the Championship to come back up.

[MonkeyHarris]

Yeah, fair point considering he had to pay for him in the first place. Given how badly Bruce has been received by the fans, I'd expect him to try to do something before that would happen but aye, he might well leave him to it if there are some signs of promise over the course of this season.

[longeared]

Finally started my season last night with

Sheffield Wednesday 1-0 Luton Town

Bit of a scruffy game but we ground out the win - clearly we are a good side as we won without playing well. Luton had the better of the chances in the first half but didn't take them and there were a few boos at half time. After the break we were much improved (how often do I say that?), we came out on the front foot and were much sharper all over the pitch. Kadeem Harris scored an amusingly messy goal and apart from a ten minute spell midway through the half we controlled the game and should have added to the lead. Impressed with us having pace on each wing thanks to Harris and Jacob Murphy and liked the look of our new centre back Julian Borner - he can bring the ball out of defence and stand up for himself physically. Hope for Luton's sake that they've got some other strikers to come in to the team - they looked really light up front and it's going to be a right struggle for them. Anyway, back top of the table for today at least and HMS Piss This Tinpot League sails serenely on.

Something occurred that I've not seen before - we subbed Harris late on and as he was on the far side of the pitch the ref sent him to the closest touchline and he had to walk round the perimeter rather than him going straight to the bench. Is this a new IFAB directive to go with their rules on handball and pelicans?

Enjoyed the Groundhopper app saying that this 1-0 is my "most goals" for the season. Hope to increase that tonight at Parkgate v Hall Road Rangers.

[ad hoc]

Yes, that subbing off rule is new. And, I suspect one that pretty much everyone can get behind, unlike many of the things that they've tinkered with. Bloody Brussels Bureaucracts ((c) Holloway)

[Ray de Galles]

BTW, at what levels is the sin-binning Uros mentions being trialled (I presume it's a trial)?

[ad hoc]

This would suggest up to Step 5 (though it;s not entirely clearly written) http://www.thefa.com/news/2019/jul/2...-season-290719

[cantagalo]

Basford United 0 Matlock Town 1

A tight game won late on by a sensational curling free kick from Matlock's Cameroonian substitute Pietu Crouz. Basford's team included Callum Chettle, the son of manager Steve. Two good quality teams who provided a far better spectacle than two divisions higher Notts and Wrexham a day earlier.

Mansfield 2 Leyton Orient 3

A strange match which Mansfield led through two penalties (though Orient had an equally valid penalty claim denied) but then produced a feeble second half performance. Orient fought back to equalise through Lee Angol and were 'game-managing' a hard fought draw, only for Angol to break clear again and his cross was bundled in for a 97th minute winner.

[Nesta]

It sounds brilliant, but surely would be improved yet further by taking the "Poli-politics, politics, left wing politi-ics" approach.

Still mulling over whether it's a genius piss take of non league ultra culture, or just somebody a bit simple.

[Southport Zeb]

Went to Aveley v Hullbridge Sports on Monday night. Second Isthmian League for me in three days and second goalless draw. Hullbridge set up to get a point and Avaley didn't really have the ability to greatly threaten that ambition. The home side had a goal disallowed for offside in the first half, but otherwise didn't offer much. Decent ground for a new build - I think it won an award from Groundtastic.

Ipswich v Wimbledon last night. Liked Portman Road - very compact, for a ground of its capacity it must have one of the smallest footprints. Ipswich weren't particularly good and found themselves a goal down just before half time, when they decided to leave Guinness-Walker unmarked. Still a good finish. It looked like the visitors were going to hold on for the win but James Norwood equalised with ten minutes to go, before Kayden Jackson gave Ipswich the win in the fourth minute of stoppage time. On the train going back there were a couple of Ipswich fans saying how bad the game was - compared to Aveley the previous night this was an all time classic.

[Nesta]

Please can Wimbledon sell Guinness-Walker to Burton Albion, ta.

[Ray de Galles]

Breaking the date range and sport involved (as usual) with this one but here goes ;

Dvilja Liga Semi-Finals
Danče Beach, Dubrovnik

Elita 8 - FUN H2O Mlini 11

Kamen Mali Cavtat 8 - Kokoti 8

(match abandoned due to player and crowd disturbance and awarded 5-0 to Kamen Mali Cavtat)


The Dvilja Liga is the annual competition for amateur teams in the Water Polo heartland of Croatia. It translates as "Wild League" and the events around these games certainly bore out this description.

We missed a fair chunk of the first match as our hotel mistakenly told us it was taking place in the city's Old Port - where the final which had initially been scheduled for that day takes place.

For some reason the rounds had been delayed and the tournament was only at the semi-final stage but that did mean we saw the games at a fantastic local beach with a bar set in the rocks and a natural amphitheatre around to watch.

What we did see of the first match was pretty chaotic, the hardcore fans of Mlini (the dominant local team it appears) ranged in various boats behind one goal with stacks of flares that they let off for every goal the team scored.

At the final whistle the squad celebrated their win in front of them with much call and response chanting in a thick soup of orange (their club colour) smoke from huge floating flares that left a slick of orange residue across the sea.

I imagined the second match might be anticlimactic but that couldn't have been further from the truth. It was very close throughout, played with real needle and in far less of a friendly atmosphere than the first game.

Water Polo always looks like a hugely violent game to me (apparently it was called "water rugby" before being codified) and this was one of the most extreme I've ever seen.

The ref, stood on the bow of a speedboat at the halfway line, had to constantly call for fouls from both sides and the players and supporters quickly grew very antagonistic towards him and each other. Kolkoti's supporters in one corner were a real lairy bunch, all young lads who started lobbing their own flares around. Cavtat's support were smaller in number and more scattered but one of them, sat on a jet ski right at the corner of the pitch started throwing the flares back at the Kolkoti contingent along with his finished beer cans.

This all came to a head in what I think was extra time (it was hard to tell for definite, there had been so many stoppages) when one particular call from the ref (which might have been a sending off) sent the place crazy.

Kolkoti supporters charged across two or three boats to surround the ref on his boat, some of their players climbed out of the water to do the same while flares flew across the pitch from all directions. This promoted the Mlini fans who were still celebrating winning the previous game to set the rest of theirs off and the whole place was complete bedlam.

We weren't really sure what was happening with the match but after a while things calmed down and the good natured mood returned. To be honest, on the beach side everyone had stayed pretty chilled throughout while it all went off in the water and on boats, I had my wife and teenage children with me and it never felt threatening.

Everyone started to drift away so we went for dinner and it wasn't until a short match report came on the site that evening that we found out it had been abandoned and awarded to Cavtat. I really wish we were still here for the final next week to see how that turns out.

[ad hoc]

Water Polo always looks like a hugely violent game to me (apparently it was called "water rugby" before being codified) and this was one of the most extreme I've ever seen.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_in_the_Water_match

Sounds excellent. Thanks for the report. I've only seen national team World championships water polo which clearly pales besides this

[elguapo4]

That looks complete madness, I can imagine heat and alcohol played a large part in the proceedings.

[Ray de Galles]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_in_the_Water_match

Sounds excellent. Thanks for the report. I've only seen national team World championships water polo which clearly pales besides this

Yeah, funnily enough I looked up that match again last night when we got back. I had a recollection about some crowd trouble around, unsurprisingly, a Croatia v Serbia game in the past too.

I meant to mention, the general atmosphere reminded me very much of grassroots rugby in Wales. Both in the knife edge between good natured rivalry and something with more needle and the relative interchangeability between players and supporters.

To be honest, another similarity was that all the teams' players were getting really stuck in to the beers in the beach bar before and after their games too (cross post with elguapo!) :

[ursus arctos]

There's an excellent documentary on the Hungary/USSR match that I saw in Italian, but I think was shot in another language.

It doesn't seem to be on YouTube, but there is a six minute clip of another film featuring a modern re-creation of the match here.

Water polo is often an absolutely brutal sport, which makes the fact that it has become a primary vector for privileged white California boys to get into better universities somewhat strange.