No More Sarri - Premier League 2019/20

[delicatemoth]

Honk! Honk honk honk.

[Eggchaser]

Another brilliantly-constructed Man City goal.


I’m getting ‘rhubarb and custard’.

Or one of those fruit salad chews you used to get four-for-a-penny.

50p for a packet of about eight from my local newsagent.

[Jon]

One all. Aubamayang goal after VAR.

They said at half time that Man Utd have never lost a game after leading at home at half time since the Premier League began. That can't be right, can it?

[The Awesome Berbaslug!!!]

Roy Keane is making a very valid point when he says "That this poisonous collection of treasonous paedo cuck scum cunts lack belief." i wonder why that is. it's clearly because they aren't as good as the players of the past were.

[Jah Womble]

50p for a packet of about eight from my local newsagent.

Even by today’s standards, that’s shockingly poor value.

[EIM]

We're shit. So are Arsenal. It rained a lot. I'm not sure the ref really knew what was going on. I'm not sure either manager did. Just had a lovely cup of biscuit brew.

[The Awesome Berbaslug!!!]

It raining a lot had a lot to do with how shit it was. Players who are afraid of falling over are not as good as players who aren't. The first time I went to old trafford, it poured continuously and it was fucking hilariously laughably bad. It finished 3-2 to man utd, but it was hilariously inept. That man utd team had won four of the five previous titles. It included Roy Keane. There's this weird sentence in the Daniel Taylor article, and I don't know if he has mangled this sentence, or if this is what he meant.

The weather is still the same, of course, although it would probably be a bit too generous on the two sets of players to blame the near-unremitting Mancunian downpour for their inability to pass the ball more stylishly.

I'm struggling to think of a game played in heavy rain that was stylish. I can remember watching a lot of quite funny and entertaining ones, but never a stylish one.

[Janik]

Holland managed it in '74 against Argentina. And that was with Argentina set up thresh mode an' all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWeQ3TR8iLA#t=3m42s

[EIM]

I got a text today saying that Pogba wasn't on the 2020 Manchester United calendar. I love this sort of gossip. I strongly suspect it's because the calendar was conceived, shot and designed at around the time Mino Raiola was telling Paul Pogba to tell the press he wanted out, rather than because he's not going to be here next season. Not that he is going to be here next season, of course, it's just that the calendar has nothing to do with this. He's certainly played the last two games like an officer worker works the last hour of a Friday working day. He's been there, and done bits, but his heart clearly isn't in it, and his body language is all about what time can he get to the pub.

Course, it's not helping that he's not fit, but has to play because... there's no one else. Same goes for Rashford, who has always been a player who looks like he needs coaching - if there's a wrong decision to be made with the ball, he'll make it. But right now he's looking 50% fit at best. His pace isn't there and he looks indecisive. But, like Pogba, he can't be rested at the moment.

Selling Lukaku and (loaning) Sanchez was definitely the right this to do. Not replacing them definitely wasn't. It's put too much stress on the front line, and too much pressure on Chong, who doesn't look first team ready at all, and Greenwood, who is 17 fucking years old. And if Solskjaer is going to big up the young players, then why isn't he trusting them more? Why is Greenwood only getting 15 minutes maximum? I mean, this question is sort of rhetorical, but you can answer if you like.

Solskjaer's game management is patchy at best. Subs too late, wrong subs, bad subs. My mate who I sit next to predicts the substitutions and the times before every game. He's got about an 80% success rate. "If I can work it out, the the opposition manager can." He's got a point.

We're fucked up front. The midfield is basically Scott McTominay. Lindelof has gone backwards massively this season, and we should not be at a stage where Ashley Young is still starting (unlike many I don't blame Young for his performances. He was bought almost a decade ago to play winger, not fucking fullback). The opposition know that we're not going to score more than one, and that puts a massive pressure on the defence. If it wasn't for Daniel James, who I decided tonight would make a lovely lodger - polite, tidy, sensitive, punctual, quiet - this season would be unbearable.

As it is, I'm kind of enjoying it. I've always enjoyed the bleak. Seaside towns out of season, concrete and brutalism, the Mercure Hotel and Piccadilly Gardens. The comforting embrace of melancholia. Walking home tonight in the persistent Mancunian rain, alongside a very full and busy River Irwell was fucking horrible, but in a nice way. It reminded me of getting driven back over the Moors from Bradford after FC United had been spanked at Park Avenue, my mate was playing Doves, and Kingdom of Rust came on. It was, despite the absolute spanking we'd got, a perfect moment.

In a way being shit is liberating. The goon in the Stretford End, where I was squatting tonight, was unreal. Lads ending up four rows down from their starting position. The highs are higher. The stubborn Mancunian spirit somehow stronger. Flitting around fourth wasn't good emotionally while Liverpool and City are playing a different sport to us. Close enough that we could kid on we were still involved, making their successes hard to swallow. But now? Now we're so far away we can't even recognise if it's them playing, we can ignore what's going on at the top of the table and worry about whether we're going to lose to Steve fucking Bruce's Newcastle team, and hope Bournemouth don't pull too far ahead of us. The liberty of ineptitude. I'm all for it.

Next game I'm going to is Partizan in Belgrade. I decided to swerve the Liverpool game as I may enjoy the bleak, but I'm not a pervert. "This is only available in sado masochism. In ordinary life? Unaffordable" as Louis van Gaal once said. I'm flying to Dubrovnik, hiring a car, and driving from Croatia to Belgrade via Montenegro. It'll take a week. It'll be brilliant. And I won't be arsed if we lose, because it's not about winning, is it'? It never has been.

The next quest is selling Astana away to the missus. What could be bleaker than Kazakhstan in late November? Nothing. That's what.

[Sporting]

Excellent post, sir!

One bright spot for Man Utd must be that they got de Gea tied down, though I find it strange that the Spaniard has evidently decided to sacrifice honours for financial security and the Manchester rain. I really thought he wanted out, so what changed? Maybe he realised that opportunities at the big Spanish clubs were more limited than at first thought, though Courtois isn't doing quite as well as expected in the Bernabeu. Or maybe he`s more optimistic than EIM in general. Or simply one of those footballers not prepared to bale out of a floundering ship.

[Uncle Ethan]

Or because he (de Gea) is nowhere near as good as he once was so he's taking the moola on offer.

[3 Colours Red]

The decline of de Gea is practically the decline of Manchester United in microcosm. It's obvious that he's fallen behind Alisson and Ederson and he's now second choice behind Kepa for Spain but the real question is now that is he even ahead of Leno (despite his distribution from the back), Lloris (despite his brain-farts), Schmeichel, Patricio, Fabianski et al?

[EIM]

De Gea's issue is that there's no where else for him to go. He's sort of stuck here unless he fancies PSG, or Juventus decide to stop picking a fascist cadaver.

He's still obviously a brilliant keeper, but he's forever rooted to his line, there's no real command of his box, and his distribution is patchy. He's starting to look old-fashioned in an era where goalkeepers, for some reason, have to be midfielders.

[Sporting]

Part of the reason his distribution is awry is due to the lack of intelligent movement ahead of him.

[EIM]

Part of the reason his distribution is awry is due to the lack of intelligent movement ahead of him.

I'd take stupid movement tbh. Any movement at all.

[Satchmo Distel]

Does Man U not have a defensive coach who works on these things?

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

I reckon Solskjaer should revolutionise tactics for the 20s by dropping De Gea and playing Phil Jones as a rush keeper.

[Sporting]

Anyway, Man Utd are only three points off the CL slots. And Bournemouth just one.

[Snake Plissken]

Burnley have scored more goals than Man Utd so far. Burnley.

Which reminds me, will this be the third season running that Marcus Rashford is outscored by Ashley Barnes?

[seand]

Burnley have scored more goals than Man Utd so far. Burnley.

Which reminds me, will this be the third season running that Marcus Rashford is outscored by Ashley Barnes?

Barnes' goalscoring ambitions are a bit loftier than that, surely!

[Snake Plissken]

I think Barnes' ambitions for each season are 15 goals, 10 assists and the undying hatred of every opposition fan.

[Nocturnal Submission]

I think Barnes' ambitions for each season are 15 goals, 10 assists and the undying hatred of every opposition fan.

Apart from his horrible sneery face, this is why I hate him:

[delicatemoth]

Lovely. I have to confess I can't recall anything about Barnes except that he plays for Burnley, so he's got a fair way to go to earn my undying hatred. I'm pleased to see Chris Wood doing well though.

Football journalists currently seem to be ripping off my over-optimistic prediction in the opening post to this thread, which is a bit annoying. We lost to Man Utd, we can't be that good.

[Jon]

Yes, I'm also pleased to see Chris Wood doing well. Thought he was a veteran having a glorious late blooming in his career but Wikipedia tells me he's only 27.

We should have a opposite thread to 'Oh, is he still playing?' called 'Oh, is he only 27.'

Off to start one now.

[Janik]

Football journalists currently seem to be ripping off my over-optimistic prediction in the opening post to this thread, which is a bit annoying. We lost to Man Utd, we can't be that good.

Indeed. I've even seen the first few whispers along the lines of "Why only top four? Leicester could win the league again with this team..."
My hope for the season before it started was third. Like you, I couldn't see why not with the squad and management* now assembled why they shouldn't finish ahead of Spurs, Chelsea, Arsenal et al. Unlike you, I didn't have the courage to say this publicly!

On the other hand not just the defeat but the manner of it at Old Trafford was a real bubble popper. I'm totally expecting a similarly deflating experience at Anfield on Saturday. Leicester are good, really good, but the top two are still streets further ahead.

* - only additions since Puel was in charge - Perez, Praet and Justin, only one of whom is a regular starter. And of course a key departure as well. Lots of credit has to go to Rodgers here. It's basically the same faces whilst at the same time being an utterly different team.