Onopko Hoegaarden-Cashews : Summer Transfers 2019

[Ray de Galles]

Do we have a thread already? If not, I'll kick it off with this (seen on EIM's twitter):

https://twitter.com/gsmyly/status/1130834352252837890

[seand]

Dunno about you but I'm excited about the prospect of young Hyypia Hophouse-Crisps linking up with Virgil Van Djik.

[Patrick Thistle]

Salop need to replace Mat Sadler. That lad Walton Watsonspecial-Freechipsforpubquizzers would be great for them.

[Bored Of Education]

The 'big unit' Eckhardt Gem-Porkscratchings.

[Sean of the Shed]

Terry Shandy-Cheesemoments

[elguapo4]

Hill Heineken-Kingcrisps

[nmrfox]

Elliott Guinness-Scampifries sounds like an archetypal number 5.

[Sean of the Shed]

Can I just clarify that Terry is not my favourite noughties centre-back, I just thought that he was the best match for the name Shandy-Cheesemoments.

[blameless]

Weir Urquell-McCoys probably already plays for one of Arsenal's youth teams.

[Nocturnal Submission]

Can I just clarify that Terry is not my favourite noughties centre-back, I just thought that he was the best match for the name Shandy-Cheesemoments.

That did surprise me.

[Ray de Galles]

I knew this would happen. I think I'm going to have to impose a rule that you have to come up with a genuine transfer (or decent rumour) before giving your centre-back/drink/snack footballer suggestions.

[ad hoc]

Tough no nonsense stopper Bullen Blacksheep will be coming from the northern premier.

[David Agnew]

De Vos Coke-Scratchings will need to be available on a free.

[Greenlander]

Negotiations with Portsmouth defender Coughlan Stoggs are believed to have broken down over the derisory offer of a one year extension to his existing deal. Several clubs, including Plymouth Argyle, are believed to be interested in the want away centre half.

[Ray de Galles]

I actually googled that name to see if we finally had a real transfer rumour.

[Greenlander]

Heh, if the nickname 'Betty' didn't stick I'd be dead disappointed.

[Ray de Galles]

The player who gave the thread its name has signed for The Dons.

[Patrick Thistle]

Shrewsbury have signed Ethan Ebanks-Landell, who seems to fit the OP.

He's signed from Wolves where he played with manager Sam Ricketts, Dave Edwards, Shaun Golborne....

[Ray de Galles]

There was a delightful rumour/gag going around Wimbledon twitter last week that Nesta Guinness-Walker was Alec Guinness's great-grandson.

I can't verify the claim but am certainly going to promulgate it throughout his time with The Dons.

[Kevin S]

Norwich have got season long loan from Man City - Patrick Roberts, who has been on loan at Celtic for a couple of seasons. Should provide some useful competition/cover on the wings.

And, since I've not done one yet,

Fleming Becks-Readysalted

[Ray de Galles]

Roberts is a local lad to me, played for Molesey Juniors and Wimbledon in his youth before joining Fulham. Always looked an excellent player for Celtic.

[Bermuda Iron]

Hope Landlord-Scratchings will today join The Iron on a free to bolster their hopes of a swift return to League One...

[Eggchaser]

Ferdinand Whatever-is-on-tap-that-I-haven't-tried-before-Scratchings.

[San Bernardhinault]

Old Pa Scratchings seems to have got around a fair bit. He's going to be paying out a whole lot of child support by the look of things.

[Ray de Galles]

I think James could be a very exciting signing for Man U, almost an old school move by them to get him :

Daniel James: Swansea City winger set to complete Man Utd move