National teams you've seen live

[Alex Anderson]

Surely some more of you have topped up your lists, even just in this last week. And, yes, I am absolutely only asking as an excuse to talk about mine.

On my quest to see every UEFA senior men's national team, in the last year I've managed Albania, Israel, Cyprus and - last night - Kazakhstan, without travelling any further than Mount Florida. I'm now on 47 out of the current 55.

As well as being generally surprising, Scotland winning their Nations League group last season was bad for my prospects of bagging the final eight as quickly and locally as possible: We've taken ourselves into a different league from Andorra, Azerbaijan, Armenia, Luxembourg, Moldova and Montenegro. Yeah, it'll probably just be a season or two before we're relegated into that lot again but I'm fifty now and still eating and drinking like a rugby playing student.

However, I have my tickets booked for all four Euro 2020 games to be played at Hampden next summer and while it would be lovely if Kosovo both qualified and ended up in Group D, I feel destiny will have an even kinder hand in this:

The fates recognise my commitment to the cause and the agonies it's put me through - both in terms of bagging UEFA countries and largely doing so by watching those countries play Scotland.

The gods of international football fate know I only want to see two things before I die and on 30th June 2020 they won't just provide but will bring both to me.

I'll have barely half an hour in the car then a ten minute walk to my seat where, laid out in the South Side sun, just for me, finally, will be both Scotland in the knockout stages of a major finals and, their opponents, ...

It's written.

[imp]

I added Germany and Northern Ireland to my list last night. Not that I have a list. So here we go: Scotland, England, Sweden, Italy, France, Spain, Yugoslavia (can I get five countries in one go for that?), Poland, Ukraine, Albania, Iceland, Hungary, Switzerland, Wales, Czech Republic, Germany, Northern Ireland. Off the top of my head. That's 17. Oh, I saw Kosova play Eintracht Frankfurt in a friendly about four years ago - does that count?

Edit - Greece and Turkey too (blanked on my US years). So 19, plus Kosova in a club game.

Other national teams:
USA, Guatemala, Honduras, El Salvador, Costa Rica, Panama, Colombia, South Africa, Togo, Brazil, Ghana, Nigeria, Grenada, Jamaica, Uruguay (15)

[seand]

I'm kinda take-or-leave-it with Ireland internationals. I didn't bother for years, went regularly for a couple of years during the golden double-income-pre-kids match-going period and probably average one a year the last 20 years (on count back I think it's just 17). Altogether I think it's....
Ireland homes
Sweden x2
NI
Chile
Czechs
SanMarino
Wales
Slovakia
Germany
Brazil
Cyprus
Argentina
Andorra
Russia
Estonia
Georgia
Gibraltar

also 2006 World Cup
Argentina,
Czech Rep,
Togo,
Ghana,
Ukraine x2,
Swtizerland x2,
Saudi Arabia,
Tunisia x2,
Serbia & Montenrgro
and Hungary v Spain randomly and 2000 Olympics final Cameroon v Spain and Dundalk v Finland
I'm counting that as 26 countries, with Togo topping the list for obscurity.
Plus Ireland and N Ireland B, Ireland and Czechs U21, Ireland and Slovakia U23, Ireland and Turkey U18

I've added Georgia, Gibraltar and Denmark to my list during the euros campaign, a third viewing of Switzerland and a pleasing tick against the lesser spotted New Zealand, rarely spotted in these parts. Have tickets for the 4 Dublin games so excitedly awaiting the draw....

[Alex Anderson]

Bastards.

Utter bastards, the pair of you.

... a third viewing of Switzerland and a pleasing tick against the lesser spotted New Zealand, rarely spotted in these parts...

Fuck your third time seeing the one I want the most (did I mention seeing Russia for a second time or Belgium for a third?? No! And why? Because they pumped us ... no ... I mean ...) and fuck your also rubbing in my face that I didn't go through to Edinburgh - FROM GLASGOW!!! - like the lazy, fat, skint excuse for an anorak I am when the all-whites played at a half-full Tynecastle.

I know you, DeLoughry - I know your style. You'll be sitting there watching next week's draw not giving a shit about seeing new teams at the Aviva next summer - you'll just be praying Switzerland get sent to Dublin. Again. I look forward to your Toblerone-themed postcard ...

... Oh, I saw Kosova play Eintracht Frankfurt in a friendly about four years ago - does that count? ...

"Oh".

Oh, yeah. Very fucking good.

"Oh".

You must have fucking LOVED that, imp. You vicious bastard.

"Oh".

Like it's an incidental. Like it's a by the way. Like you're Colombo "almost forgetting" to ask, as he almost leaves the room, the one killer question to which he already knows the answer ...

And then the little, snidey, in-your-face-Anderson, mock coquettish "... does that count?"

OF COURSE IT FUCKING COUNTS AS IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW.

Spell it KosovA all you want. Be more Albanian than the Kosovans themselves if that's what turns you on and, like Snidey SeanD, WEAR THE FACT YOU'VE SEEN BRAZIL AND SWITZERLAND, MY TWO BIGGEST OMISSIONS, LIKE A FRANKIE SAYS RELAX ALEX T-SHIRT from now til next summer's final. (In fact, know something - you can go and fucking LIVE in Switzerland as far as I'm concerned!!).

But take your gloaty little, finger-to-the-mouth, eyelash-fluttering, "Oh - does that count, Mr Pwesident?" and shove it right up your Hardturm, you total Wankdorf.

You know fine well it not only counts but counts for a NOT GOT on my two favourite lists (European finalists AND UEFA Nations) AND, what's even more flagellating, you know it's also a fixture type I find particularly erotic. The old club-versus-country friendly has been a fantasy of mine ever since I wasn't allowed to attend Rangers v China* at Ibrox in the early 80s because I had school or a funeral or a shift down't pit or something.

I once cut short a Glasgow night out in the mid-90s [EDIT: could be late 80s - old man pretending here] to see the last ten minutes of what I thought was St Mirren v South Korea at Love Street on a Friday but it was just St Mirren against a touring South Korean club no-one in the Scottish press could be bothered finding out about and it took me ten years of searching before a St Mirren historian confirmed it was club side Hyundai Tigers (yeah - I know - "hope Paisley panda was unharmed", etc.).

Catalonia at the Nou Camp, Euskal Herria at San Mames - all lovely.

But what I particularly love is when, like Palestine or Yorkshire, that nation is on the cusp of having its membership recognised by FIFA and/or UEFA so is playing friendlies against clubs rather than having its opponent scared of losing their membership.

As if you didn't know I would absolutely love to see that.

NO, you cannot have Yugoslavia as covering the rest of those countries. I saw Yugoslavia too (1-1 at Hampden in the Italia 90 qualifiers - but you saw us beating them 6 bloody 1 didn't you? You're even beating me with the ones we've both bagged!) but I definitely still have Kosovo and Montenegro to bag. (By the time I saw Serbia they'd dumped the " & Montenegro" too)

Anyway, if I gave you all the FYRs it would mean you can't rub KosovA in my face. But I will be claiming the Soviet Union as soon as I see Azerbaijan, Moldova and Armenia.



Neither of you have seen Kazakhstan. Bite me.



So, yeah, anyone else topped up their list recently? In this time of Brexit, Trump and climate change it's nice to have a mellow chinwag about stuff we don't take that seriously. Too much bile in the world these days ...

[imp]

Glad to have it officially approved. It was 0-0, by the way, but it was worth it for the lively KosovAn fans just delighted to have their country represented in footballing form. Played at the FSV stadium, not the Waldstadion, just in case you were trying to picture it in your head.

Switzerland I've seen a few times, at the Hardturm (1-0 against Hungary), at the Letzigrund (2-0 against Wales) and at the Wankdorf (1-1 against England), and then once at the 2006 World Cup in Dortmund (thus Togo). Brazil was against Scotland at Italia 90, the night we almost edged into the next round, until a wet ball squirmed out of Jim Leighton's grasp. Sir Alex F was sitting just behind us - Leighton's manager at the time. Everyone turned round to look at him, either to imply it was his fault, or to see how he was reacting, but his facial expression was the same as always because you can never read a Scotsman's facial expression, automatically braced to face the next bank of cold wind, even on a balmy night in Turin.

[seand]

Cool, myself and imp shared Switzerland - Togo (did you see that Alex. TOGO, a little sliver of an African nation and an elusive football tickbox) and in a moment of serendipity I met a League of Ireland referee of my acquaintance for drinks after that match.

I also "enjoyed" what is widely regarded as one of the worst of all World Cup games, the Switzerland-Ukraine last 16 match which finished 0-0. Switzerland managed not to score DURING A PENALTY SHOOTOUT, and went home from the World Cup having not conceded a single goal (bar 2 in the penalty shootout)

My football obsessed 10-year-old also has one up on me, his aunt brought him to Ireland-Uruguay as a birthday present- I've never seen Uruguay play. Might never see Uruguay play. The young fella shouldn't be getting one up on me until hes at college and drunkenly interrailing around Europe casually popping in to see Anderlecht, Hannover, Spartak Trnava, Chernomorets or Kosovo Under-21s just to spite me.

My own list has more holes than one of those stereotypical cheeses from the Alpine nation whose name I won't mention again. I've not seen England, France, Norway, Portugal, Croatia, Russia, Austria, Bulgaria (though they were in Dublin recently), Belgium, Turkey or- strangely- Scotland. Or Uruguay.

[imp]

Uruguay! Dammit, I've seen them too, at RFK Stadium with Jason Vorhees of this parish, and his lovely wife. Google tells me it was 2002 - 2-1 to the US in a friendly. We had an ongoing argument about whether or not Sebastian Abreu was a genius (JV), or a lazy waste of space with the occasional ability to stick the ball in the net (imp). He scored for Uruguay that day, but was also a lazy waste of space, so I considered myself proven right for the God knows how manyieth time in my life.

[elguapo4]

Funny that SeanD, if we were in the playground we could do swapsies because I've seen your entire list,most of them more than once. My Uruguay experience was big Jack's second game in charge when he let physio Mick Byrne pick the squad, Mick slipped Bohemians Barry Murphy and Rovers Peter Eccles into the team for their only caps, no League of Ireland player would be subsequently capped by Jack and the next one wouldn't be for nearly 20 years

[Alex Anderson]

For fuck's sake. Neutral Switzerland? Neutral? They're kicking the absolute shite out me worse than the night I drove my mate to Hampden with a ticket for their friendly visit in my pocket but my tonsillitis was so bad I couldn't even get out the car far less park it and nip in for the national anthems and kick-off.

I have an unused ticket for a Switzerland game. That's cruel. But I'm beginning to wonder if you two have ever seen Scotland or the Republic? Did youse ever go to a Switzerland v Switzerland game preceded by a Switzerland select v the Switzerland All stars, in, ye know, like, Bern or somewhere really Swiss? I didn't know WSC stood for "We're Swiss Cu..."

This is now so cruel it's poetic - and I don't just mean imp's description of Fergie Face: I think I've discussed these moments separately with both of you at some point but I've been stood outside, in separate summers, FSV's ground and the Müngersdorfer. FSV's you can see into, obviously, but both were locked. With me outside. Come on. That's more mournful symbolism than an Ultravox video.

Have you only seen Germany once, imp? Not an attempt to ease my pain at your multiple Swiss-ticking - now it's gone, I can't ever match the fact you've even been to the Hardturm, where Scotland played their first ever finals match - but would be surprised if that was you seeing Germany for the first time, this week.

I've seen Germany at Hampden and Wembley twice each, Ibrox, Old Trafford and the Allianz.

Okay, maybe I am attempting to ease something but your tour of the footballing Americas would soon be pulling the nails from my fingers again.

Togo is indeed bad enough, Sean - South Africa is the only CAF nation I've ever bagged (At Pittodrie!) - and I have seen the US at Hampden and Costa Rica in Munich but, add Australia when they were still part of Oceania, Argentina's men and the Jamaican WNT at Hampden, and that's the extent of my non-UEFA nation-bagging.

(Honduras, Morocco and Japan Olympic teams)

My sister did Central American studies - during a few months over there she "happened upon" the Copa Centroamericana. Can't even remember which country hosted but suddenly she the great explorer just sat in the same stadium for two days, drinking and sending me Facebook pics of every combination of Honduras v El Salvador v Belize v Panama v Nicaragua ...

She hates me because she knows me so well - but it also lets her torture me from a different continent.

Other than the bagging of the Swiss, Sean, at least you had the excuse of a match ticket keeping you in the Müngersdorfer/Rhine Energie that night. I watched it all on telly. In Glasgow. Could have switched channels or gone for a walk anytime. Didn't. Yup - it was awful.

The only World Cup finals match I've ever attended was the first one that summer. Yet, right now, I'd probably swap the coruscating joy of the hosts beating Cost Rica 4-2 and seeing Miro Klose netting some of his record finals tally after Gerdy Mueller had been on Bayern's pitch with the World Cup trophy, for your brutally boring Switzerland in Cologne.

Yeah, I've bagged all your cheesy holes but, enjoyable as that was, the List game always focuses you on what you've Not Got. You've seen the Swiss (a few time apparently). And, as I definitely said somewhere earlier on this thread, and most others, I loudly talk about a trip to the Aviva the same way other fat barflies talk about jacking in the drink, going down the gym and getting back into the five-a-sides.

I saw the New Zealand fixture on the horizon probably long before you did. With Australia switching confederations I could have had the All-Whites giving me Oceania, let the Aussies be my Asia and at least I could die having done one from every confederation. And while everyone, like you two, has to see Brazil (my sister moved to Walthamstow just in time for Scotland hosting them ... at the fucking Emirates ... more Facebook messages ...), the one South American side I would most want to see after Argentina is Uruguay.

So I feel your familial pain.

It was a Sunday game, wasn't it? I know because I was checking out the flights as earnestly as I was my credit card limit when that one came up for grabs. Norn Iron were at home the day before I'm sure ... I'm always scheming ... always talking big ...

Azerbaijan are in Wales the same night Russia are at Hampden so, even if I could source a ticket for the Cardiff City stadium, I have a ticket for another gig.

Switzerland are at the Aviva the night before and is a doable trip (plus I need the Republic and Norn Iron at home to complete seeing the five nations from "these parts" both home and away - that feels like something I should do) but the way that group's panning out it'll probably be a sell-out and I wouldn't want to be that tourist who denies a local a ticket.

Kosovo and Montenegro's trips to England would be super do-able if they were at Wembley, where I could probably find a quiet spot for my accent. But Saints Mary and James will surely be sold out. Selfish, selfish England fans.

So much for local trips. However, despite the fact I have zero desire to commemorate my next birthday, my missus is insisting I pick out something she can buy me and has all but demanded it should be something major which I actually like and knows this should therefore probably be one of the list-ticking team-watching things I'm always prattling on about .

So I'm sat here seriously thinking about the battle of the very similar national flags, Andorra v Moldova, on 11th October (coz there's no fekin way I'm going to Russia with Scotland the previous night). That would be two new nations bagged in one game for the first time since ... since ... erm, probably since I saw Croatia v Denmark at Euro 96?

Or there's Portugal v Luxembourg in Lisbon the same night which is probably easier to get tickets for and reach and is a lovely city I've never been to and which would, hopefully, also finally give me my first live sighting of Ronaldo playing football. Before he becomes extinct...

... Cyprus and Kazakhstan at Hampden was my grand total.

BIG TALK!



Mueller scored that Turin tap-in for Brazil, didn't he imp? Supposedly named after Gerdy but I bet you, on closer inspection, he's descended from a Swiss Mueller.

[Alex Anderson]

Uruguay! Dammit, I've seen them too, at RFK Stadium ...

Oh, fuck off ...

"Wait. Wait. Now I think about it, first time I saw Brazil I was a baby in my father's arms on a family holiday to Mexico ... think they were playing Italy in some big final ..."

[pebblethefish]

I've seen Switzerland, if that helps at all?

[Alex Anderson]

I've seen Switzerland, if that helps at all?

Oh yeah, that helps.

Yeah, that ... erm ... that helps a lot, pebblethefish.

Thanks for that.

Cheers.

Very helpful.

That especially helps if you saw them next week, in Glasgow and you HAVE A FUCKING TICKET FOR ME TOO!!!

I don't need to take this. Sick of the lot of you ...

I'm off to wash the cutlery, all of which, frankly, I wish I could fit onto one small, folding, multi-armed utensil ... like what might be used by a landlocked military for example ...

[Alex Anderson]

Group D ... Group D ... Group D ...

Come on. I mean, they're having the draw on St Andrew's Day, ffs! On the 147th anniversary of the world's first international match being played in GLESGA!!! And I've got tickets for all four games at Hampden which - ye know - is in Glesga!

Okay there isn't really anything significantly Swiss about any of those points but I also got my first ever bowel screening test result back today - NEGATIVE! So there's now as much as a 50-50 chance I'll still be alive next summer to, ye know, see Switzerland. But it does postpone the Dignitas coincidence ...

Anyway, if there was ever a confluence of signs that I'm gonnae finally see SWITZERLAND IN THE FLESH, this is something vaguely like it.

I don't even care if Scotland don't qualify - just take Switzerland out that second pot and put them in Group bloody D.

[Alex Anderson]

Anybody got a home address for Ruud Gullit?

Or even just a dark, isolated location he often goes alone?

I mean, not even close. First names out the hat - send them to the venue furthest away from Hampden. It's now officially a jinx.

Although f they finish third I'll see them playing Spain in the last 16.

If Scotland don't make it I hope Serbia do. I can add them v Croatia to Edinburgh, Old Firm and Scotland-England as Hampden derbies enjoyed.

[seand]

So Alex just needs Switzerland to finish third in their group, with the correct combination of third place finishers getting through (i.e. groups A,,B,D,E or A,B,D,F) to send Switzerland to Glasgow in the last 16. Assuming he has tickets and not a bit of cough or some family picnic to attend at the time.

The Dublin group draw was fairly meh, but I'll tick off Poland and Bosnia if they win the playoff. The Last 16 game in Dublin is going to be a gem.... winners of England group v runners-up in Germany/France/Portugal group. One to two ticks available!

[Ray de Galles]

Being drawn against Turkey in the Euros has set me thinking as to if I saw us play them in qualifiers for the '98 World Cup. I didn't go to the epic 6-4 defeat in Istanbul but very well may have been at the 0-0 draw at home. I'm going to need to find some video to check if recall seeing their kit "live".

[Antepli Ejderha]

I had just arrived in Istanbul and was warned off going to the match. Stupidly I listened. The Belgian coach said that the referee was so corrupt he must have been allowed to sleep with all the prostitutes in the city.

[steviecowden]

Scotland
England
NI
Iceland
Norway
Sweden
Finland
Latvia
Lithuania
Belarus
USSR
Russia
Kazakhstan
Poland
Germany
East Germany
Netherlands
Belgium
France
Spain
Switzerland
Denmark
Austria
Liechtenstein
Hungary
Romania
Bulgaria
Moldova
Italy
San Marino
Yugoslavia
Slovenia
Serbia
Croatia
Bosnia
Macedonia
Greece
Cyprus
Faroe Islands
Canada
Chile
Argentina
Brazil
Australia
New Zealand
Morocco
Japan
Honduras

[Alex Anderson]

The Belgian coach said that the referee was so corrupt he must have been allowed to sleep with all the prostitutes in the city.

Now, that's a proper quote.

[Alex Anderson]

So Alex just needs ... Switzerland to Glasgow in the last 16. Assuming he has tickets and not a bit of cough or some family picnic to attend at the time.

Baldy ex-ginger. Twenty stone. And it will be technically summertime. In a city of vapers, it'll be the vapors that get me.

Got the tickets (well, uefa have told me I have them and they never let down the ordinary fan) so - yup - sunstroke is the biggest likelihood.

Switzerland make it to Hampden - guaranteed I will accidentally sit in front of an open window the day before, during Glasgow's allotted ten minutes of annual sunshine: I'll watch it on TV through the eye-holes cut into my bandages by the burns ward staff, one of who will offer to switch channels for me because, ye know, everyone's seen Switzerland play.

The Dublin group draw was fairly meh, but I'll tick off Poland and Bosnia if they win the playoff. The Last 16 game in Dublin is going to be a gem.... winners of England group v runners-up in Germany/France/Portugal group. One to two ticks available!

Seen Portugal plenty but never Ronaldo. As he may be an actual nonce now that's not anything I'll be going out my way to correct. Not so much a list-ticking omission as a stunning statistical anomaly - how can you see as much Champions League and international fitba as me and never have seen Ronaldo, who kinda does nothing else.

I've already stopped "boasting" about seeing Messi score because, well, who hasn't.

[Alex Anderson]

Scotland
England
NI
Iceland
Norway
Sweden
Finland
Latvia
Lithuania
Belarus
USSR
Russia
Kazakhstan
Poland
Germany
East Germany
Netherlands
Belgium
France
Spain
Switzerland
Denmark
Austria
Liechtenstein
Hungary
Romania
Bulgaria
Moldova
Italy
San Marino
Yugoslavia
Slovenia
Serbia
Croatia
Bosnia
Macedonia
Greece
Cyprus
Faroe Islands
Canada
Chile
Argentina
Brazil
Australia
New Zealand
Morocco
Japan
Honduras

Yup - Brazil AND Switzerland. Standard. Everyone else ...

[Ray de Galles]

In ranking order ;

Belgium
France
Brazil
Croatia
England
Portugal
Switzerland
Spain
Denmark
Argentina
Colombia
Chile
Sweden
Netherlands
Germany
Italy
Wales
Austria
Romania
Slovakia
Serbia
Paraguay
Ireland
Bosnia & Herzegovina
Northern Ireland
Scotland
Australia
Czech Republic
RCS (can I count that?)
Nigeria
Bulgaria
Norway
Russia
Jamaica
Egypt
Finland
Belarus
Luxembourg
Georgia
Israel
Faroe Islands
Azerbaijan
Moldova
San Marino
Great Britain (Womens Olympic)


I make that 45, if I'm allowed RCS as well as Czech Republic and Slovakia? I'm sure I've missed out a couple I've seen in London friendlies (possibly Ghana and Ivory Coast) but will need to check further to confirm .

Can now add Albania to this list along with Andorra, Cyprus and Hungary that I've seen or remembered subsequently to this post.

[steviecowden]

scotland
yugoslavia
france
cyprus
east germany
poland
england
chile
norway
argentina
romania
bulgaria
faroes
finland
san marino
USSR
Italy
latvia
lithuania
greece
belarus
russia
moldova
belgium
croatia
sweden
denmark
iceland
czech republic
spain
liechtenstein
austria
hungary
germany
kazakhstan
france
netherlands
bosnia
slovenia
macedonia
serbia
new zealand
australia
canada
brazil
cyprus
also honduras,japan and maybe morocco in the 2012 olympics in a double header at hampden(spain was the other team)
alo cuba,ghana and bahrain at the opening double header at the 1989 u16 world cup

[Sporting]

east germany

When?

[torres]

They played at Hampden around 89/90.