Dream Team

[EIM]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/nottinghamshire/7318218.stm

A man bidding to buy Mansfield Town is planning to rename the club Harchester United after the former Sky series The Dream Team, the BBC has learnt.

John Batchelor, former owner of York City, submitted a bid to majority shareholder Keith Haslam on Wednesday.

Producers of the Sky series confirmed Mr Batchelor had made an approach to use the name.

It is understood the racing car enthusiast also plans to use actors from the television series at the club.

Crucial match

Mr Batchelor said: "Football supporters in general have to understand that if they want professional football in their town, they have to accept it has to be done on a commercial basis.

"Harchester is more promotable than Mansfield. That's not any form of insult to Mansfield at all because it's a club with a long tradition but it's just a fact of life.

"One club has been on the television for 10 years and the other one hasn't."

The businessman changed York City's name to York City Soccer Club when he was at Bootham Crescent to attract American interest.

Mansfield are currently second from bottom in the Football League.

Mr Batchelor was initially part of a consortium before deciding to bid for the struggling League Two club on his own.

The club has undergone a name change once before - from Mansfield Wesleyans to Mansfield Town in 1910.

The Stags play Notts County in a crucial local derby at Meadow Lane on Saturday.

[Crusoe]

Dream Team

This man clearly wants to be even less popular than Winkleman.

Hang on, is this a particularly early April Fool's thing?

[Guest]

Dream Team

Oh good Christ.

[Guest]

Dream Team

WUM

[EIM]

Dream Team

"Football supporters in general have to understand that if they want professional football in their town, they have to accept it has to be done on a commercial basis.

That's my favourite bit. I don't even know what it means.

[goldstone97]

Dream Team

You can't accuse the man of not being honest about his motives. As he told fans:

"Let's be clear, I want a football club, preferably one in the league. The ONLY reason that I want it is to make money, the only reason that I want to do that is to look after my immediate family. I can only do that by making it work on the pitch and as a result making it work commercially. This would be MY club, if you like what you see come and watch, if you don't, then stay away. I am not even interested in discussing it with "fans", however, I will talk to customers anytime. If Mansfield is going to host professional football, it has to accept that there need to be some HUGE changes at this club. If the fans don't want to host it, all they need to do is not turn up. I have a plan, and I have a vision of what football needs to do, I am going to do my best to achieve it, I am not a multi-millionaire, just a guy who has some idea's who is prepared to have a go and take a risk"

"I will budget for no fans turning up at the ground, which really every club should do. As you will have seen from my replies, I am not trying to attract negative thinkers, either get behind this, or watch football somewhere else. IF I am successful in achieving ownership, this will be MY club, MY business and up to me to provide entertainment, it is MY risk. Come and watch if you want. I'm sorry if all of that sounds a bit brutal, but those would be the facts of life, and I do not want to get off on the wrong foot by telling anybody something that is misleading, as I said in an earlier response I have that T-shirt. What do you want? I would have thought that it would be better to start off with honest responses. I am in this to make money."

[EIM]

Dream Team

Hahahaha. Holy shit. What a cunt. Is he a Steve Coogan character?

"I am not even interested in discussing it with "fans", however, I will talk to customers anytime."

That, there, is magnificent. The transparency, and sheer balls of it has made me warm to him. None of this Glazeresque "We'll talk to the fans when the takeover is complete" bullshit. Nah. He's laid it on the line, made it clear that there's NOTHING Mansfield fans can do to stop him. Either get in line, or fuck off.

You have to marvel at the cunt, really.

[NHH]

Dream Team

Any fit and proper person test that doesn't keep this mentalistic club-crippling cuntrag out of football is no test of value at all. And the fact that bent twats like Haslam can do this too makes me shit blood through my eyes.

Still, the League have their 10 point deduction, so that's alright then.

[EIM]

Dream Team

Didn't FC United of Manchester have to tag 'of Manchester' on the end as the FA like to have a place name to anchor a team to?

Meaning, of course, how will he get around this to create 'Harchester'?

Sky will fucking love this, wont they?

[Big Daves Gussett]

Dream Team

Any fit and proper person test that doesn't keep this mentalistic club-crippling cuntrag out of football is no test of value at all

You'd like to think so, but I don't have a great deal of confidence in that test.

My first thought upon reading this was that it was an April Fool's joke, but unfortunately it's a few days early.

[Ek weet nie]

Dream Team

His first transfer target

How do people this stupid and obnoxious get enough money in the first place to invest in a football club?

[NHH]

Dream Team

John B and Q

[noj]

Dream Team

Christ.

Is Batchelor the bloke who sold York's ground to Persimmon?

[Guest]

Dream Team

Isn't there some sort of copyright issue he'll have to get round?

If he says he's only interested in making money, why's he buying a football club? Your money's better spent elsewhere mate.

This is like Xpert Eleven or something.

[Hofzinser]

Dream Team

This has to be a piss-take, surely?

Didn't FC United of Manchester have to tag 'of Manchester' on the end as the FA like to have a place name to anchor a team to?

What, like Arsenal?

[beak]

Dream Team

Didn't FC United of Manchester have to tag 'of Manchester' on the end as the FA like to have a place name to anchor a team to?

Was it not because "FC United" was too generic?

I refuse to credit goldstone's quote with any sort of veracity. I won't believe it until I see a video of the guy reading his statement with his passport opened in one hand, and a copy of today's paper in the other.

[Buzz Killington]

Dream Team

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

This can't be true. What a fucking cocklord. Harchester United? In tandem with Sky, this could be the birth of a very evil empire indeed...

[NHH]

Dream Team

Noj - the very same. He fucking coined it from York - took a sponsorship deal for 400K which all went on his mortor racing team, then sold the ground left it with a one-year lease and fucked off with the cash. Cunt is too fluffy for this waste of organic matter.

[ursus arctos]

Dream Team

Goldstone's source.

Contacts in Serbia, eh?
A pre-season tournament featuring Red Star, Partizan, "Harchester Utd" and Chesterfield.

You can't make this stuff up.

[Nishlord]

Dream Team

What a waste man. He should be looking to rename Mansfield 'Disneyland', or something equally aspirational.

Looking forward to seeing Harchester United v Wildest Police Chases 4 Albion next season.

[NHH]

Dream Team

More likely to feature in a nude mud wrestling vs L!ve TV Norwegian weather girls from Cleethorpes, I'd figure.

[My Name Is Ian]

Dream Team

Batchelor's other crime was to incorporate a chequered flag onto York's shirts, on account of his motor racing links, thus:



I'm not sure if he sold the naming rights for Bootham Crescent to become "Kit Kat Crescent".

[My Name Is Ian]

Dream Team

"One club has been on the television for 10 years and the other one hasn't."

He seems to be overlooking the fact that Mansfield have performed live on the television this season already - against Harrogate Railway and Middlesbrough in the FA Cup, as well as on Championship Goals every Sunday since last August. Christ almighty - even if they go into the Conference, they'll be on live every two or three weeks, because they'll be one of the biggest draws for Setanta's live coverage on there.

This has to be a joke, right?

[goldstone97]

Dream Team

The line between reality and farce is pretty much indistinguishable nowadays. It's a Whole New Ball Game, remember?

[boris]

Dream Team

As long as he makes them play in purple it will be worth it. Do you think he'll appoint Lynda Block to be his partner?