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Best Named Scottish Footballer Ever

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    #76
    Best Named Scottish Footballer Ever

    The Awesome Berbaslug!!! wrote: Careca means bald. Why the hell was he called careca?
    One might say the same about Roberto Dinamite.

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      #77
      Best Named Scottish Footballer Ever

      James Crapnell
      Barney Battles

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        #78
        Best Named Scottish Footballer Ever

        ursus arctos wrote: He played in both legs of the qualifiers against Australia.

        I have a vivid memory of the Univision announcers trying to figure out what to do with his name.
        He was a crap player too. Probably the least skilled and slowest Argentine player of all time. I can remember him having an opportunity on the break in one of those games against Australia- ha d a clear run on goal with the Aussie team all out of position. They all managed to get back behind the ball before McAllister could cross the halfway line...

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          #79
          Best Named Scottish Footballer Ever

          dalliance wrote: Treibeis. Think of the top strikers of the second half of the 1980s and the ones that come to mind include Klinsmann, Van Basten, Careca and Rush and they were all taller than Elkjaer. None were thought of as giants either like Ruud Gullit for instance.

          Even Michael Laudrup - the wee man of that Danish forward pairing - was 6ft and taller than his 'big' partner.

          5 ft 11 was no great height for a centre forward when he was playing.
          dalliance. Haven't you shifted up a generation here? The strapping lads we were on about yesterday were born in the 1940s and 1950s. The lot you just mentioned were born in the 1960s. Strappingness had moved on by then.

          There's an overlap in some instances of course, but I don't consider, say, Elkjaer and van Basten to be of one and the same generation.

          And I don't reckon Klinsmann or Rush were taller than Elkjaer.

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            #80
            Best Named Scottish Footballer Ever

            He's had a relatively high profile for a while now such that you don't really notice his name much anymore but surely Mickey Mellon belongs in this thread.

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              #81
              Best Named Scottish Footballer Ever

              I think the reason he hasn't been mentioned is that most people (myself included) had no idea that Mellon was Scottish - seems he played his entire careeer in England, and didn't trouble the Scottish national team at any age group.

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                #82
                Best Named Scottish Footballer Ever

                treibeis. Elkjaer was born in 1957, Careca in 1960 and Ian Rush in 1961. The youngest player from those mentioned was born in 1964 so it's a bit of a leap to suggest they were all of a different generation to the Dane.

                Klinsmann might be said at best to be the same height at him but Rush was an inch taller.

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                  #83
                  Best Named Scottish Footballer Ever

                  And here's an extract from an article I found that showed the rise in the average height in the typical European man. Those figures suggest a 5ft 10 average in 1980, meaning that Elkjaer was marginally above the mean.

                  Men are reaching new heights, at least in Europe where a new study has found that the average height of European males increased by 11 centimeters in over one century.

                  The research, published Monday in the journal Oxford Economic Papers, looked at data from the 1870s to 1980. During that time frame, the average height of European men surged from 167 cm (5 ft, 5in) to 178 cm (5 ft, 10 in) -- that's a rate of around a millimeter each year and a centimeter each decade.

                  “Increases in human stature are a key indicator of improvements in the average health of populations," Dr. Timothy J. Hatton, economics professor at the University of Essex in the U.K. and Australian National University in Canberra, said in a written statement.

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                    #84
                    Best Named Scottish Footballer Ever

                    I can't stop mulling potential Archie McHard book titles.

                    Dinnae Fuck Wi' Archie McHard
                    Red Card For Archie McHard
                    Mud, Thuds, and Studs in Yer Nuts: Play Football the Archie McHard Way
                    So You Think You're McHard Enough? An A-Z For Young Centre Halves
                    McHarder, Archie! McHarder! (Adults only)

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                      #85
                      Best Named Scottish Footballer Ever

                      dalliance wrote: And here's an extract from an article I found that showed the rise in the average height in the typical European man. Those figures suggest a 5ft 10 average in 1980, meaning that Elkjaer was marginally above the mean.
                      I bet they carried that out in The Netherlands.

                      My judgement is probably clouded by the fact that my father (at 5'6" in his stockinged feet, he even out-straps Billy Bremner) always insisted (and probably still does) that he's average height.

                      To prove his point, he always pointed out that the minimum height for a policeman was, at the time, 5'8". "Coppers have to be tall, otherwise they can't wear size 10 boots."

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                        #86
                        Best Named Scottish Footballer Ever

                        imp wrote: I can't stop mulling potential Archie McHard book titles.

                        Dinnae Fuck Wi' Archie McHard
                        Red Card For Archie McHard
                        Mud, Thuds, and Studs in Yer Nuts: Play Football the Archie McHard Way
                        So You Think You're McHard Enough? An A-Z For Young Centre Halves
                        McHarder, Archie! McHarder! (Adults only)
                        Surely 'Archie McHard - Fae The School of Hard Knocks' because we just know he had a turbulent and difficult life. He's Scottish.

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                          #87
                          Best Named Scottish Footballer Ever

                          Not bad, though I reckon that would be the three-frame comic strip version in the Daily Record.

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                            #88
                            Best Named Scottish Footballer Ever

                            How about 'So you think you're the Archie McHard man?'

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                              #89
                              Best Named Scottish Footballer Ever

                              Reminds me of the (genuine) Bertie Auld quote, following his red card during the 'third leg' of that infamous Celtic/Racing Club World Club Cup showdown of 1967.

                              Interviewer: How hard did you hit him?

                              Auld: I'm fae Glasgow, son - how f*ckin' hard d'ya think I hit him?

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                                #90
                                Best Named Scottish Footballer Ever

                                treibeis wrote: To prove his point, he always pointed out that the minimum height for a policeman was, at the time, 5'8". "Coppers have to be tall, otherwise they can't wear size 10 boots."
                                Shows how much things changed in a short space of time that Michael Owen was often described as diminuitive at 5' 8".

                                I'm 5' 9" - if 5' 8" is "shortarse" and 5' 10" is average, what am I?

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                                  #91
                                  Best Named Scottish Footballer Ever

                                  Averagearse?

                                  I'm a towering 5' 10 1/2" – I think the 1/2 is the kind of thing that should be referenced more in footballers' heights. So you could have The Secret Diary of the Secret Footballer, Height 5' 11 3/4".

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                                    #92
                                    Best Named Scottish Footballer Ever

                                    Velvet Human wrote: Averagearse?

                                    I'm a towering 5' 10 1/2" – I think the 1/2 is the kind of thing that should be referenced more in footballers' heights. So you could have The Secret Diary of the Secret Footballer, Height 5' 11 3/4".
                                    No he's not, he's 6' 3".

                                    And very, very ginger.

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                                      #93
                                      Best Named Scottish Footballer Ever

                                      The best named footballer ever (not Scottish) has to be Orlando Trustfull. Closely followed by Rainer Bonhof.

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                                        #94
                                        Best Named Scottish Footballer Ever

                                        imp wrote: I was more than tickled to read in this week's WSC Howl! newsletter that in 1960 Workington Town (sic) had a Scottish player called Archie McHard. There's just no way he wasn't small and ginger with a penchant for calling out anyone perceived to be staring at his pint.
                                        As I've said on another thread, I've recently acquired a collection of Chelsea programmes going back to the 1950s. These include the FA Cup game against Bradford Park Avenue in January 1960 in which Archie McHard featured. The team picture (in black and white obviously) suggests he was nothing other than described in the OP but the pen picture, sadly, enlightens us no further, simply stating that the native of Dumbarton 'made his bow' in the first game of the season missing only three games since.

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                                          #95
                                          Best Named Scottish Footballer Ever

                                          Geoffrey de Ste. Croix wrote: Former Clydebank player and current manager Budgie McGhie. And I always liked the name of journeyman lower league sharpshooter Willie Watters.
                                          Budgie was one of the ushers at my brother's wedding where I was best man. Him and his mate Kenny came into the church dressed like Crockett and Tubbs.

                                          Budgie was a very underrated sweeper, and a nice guy. His brother once lent me an air rifle so that I could shoot my brother in the bollocks for annoying me.

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