Don't you think Being John Malkovich would have been more amusing if the part of John Malkovich had played by Steven Seagal? That would have been ace.
Go on, you try.
Go on, you try.
-
-
Improving movies through retroactive cast changes
Star Wars would have been better if they'd had a cardboard box or a tin can or absolutely anything or anyone else as Luke Skywalker -
Improving movies through retroactive cast changes
No, no, you have to name an actor. Such as: the part of Luke Skywalker should have been taken by..I don't know...Linda Hunt.Comment
-
Improving movies through retroactive cast changes
Luke Skywalker should have beenplayed by John Belushi.Comment
-
Improving movies through retroactive cast changes
Han Solo should have been played, as Yosser Hughes, by Bernard Hill.Comment
-
Improving movies through retroactive cast changes
I've said it a million times, Say Anything would be much better with just about anyone in the role played by Ione Skye. Of the actresses available at the time, Winona Ryder would have been good. She was in her prime then. Or, maybe, to take it a whole other direction, Diane Weist.Comment
-
Improving movies through retroactive cast changes
She was in her prime then.
Meaning...?
I think the entire cast of LoTR should have been replaced with that of HeartbeatComment
-
Improving movies through retroactive cast changes
Meaning that she still seemed to be a decent actress who gave a shit about acting. And I fancied her.Comment
-
Improving movies through retroactive cast changes
Mostly the latter eh?Comment
-
Improving movies through retroactive cast changes
Everybody fancied Winona at one point. Heathers was genius, genius, genius.Comment
-
Improving movies through retroactive cast changes
I am proud to say I still fancy Winona, so there.Comment
-
Improving movies through retroactive cast changes
Reed of the Valley People wrote:
I missed this the first time I read it. That's fucking gold.Or, maybe, to take it a whole other direction, Diane Weist.Comment
-
Improving movies through retroactive cast changes
I think Heathers era Winona would have been good as the shy, academic object of Lloyds desire in Say Anything. She was great in Heathers. Of course, so was Christian Slater and he hasn't done shit since then.
Speaking of that, I was shocked and appalled that a friend/colleague of mine (who is 25 or 26) had never seen Heathers and didn't seem too concerned about it.
It's not the greatest film ever made, but I think that is essential viewing for any non-Amish American.
It's also one of the most underrated to-be-used-ironically catch-phrase generators:
Well, they seem to have an open door policy for assholes though don't they?
What is your damage, Heather?
Grow up Heather, bulimia's so '87. (perhaps my favorite film line ever).
Veronica, why are you pulling my dick?
Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?
I don't patronize bunny rabbits.
Whether to kill yourself or not is one of the most important decisions a teenager can make.
Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Theresa?
My son's a homosexual, and I love him. I love my dead gay son!!!!!!!!!!!!!Comment
-
Improving movies through retroactive cast changes
I was terribly disappointed when The Dukes of Hazzard was re-made. I thought they took it in completely the wrong direction.
Here's my dream cast for a re-make:
The Duke Brothers: Stallone and Schwarzenegger. The fact that one of them was suddenly speaking with a German accent would remain unexplained and be part of the movie's quirky charm.
Uncle Jessie: Sean Connery.
Cooter: Jack Nicholson ("Those Duke Boys. Q. Q. Q.")
Boss Hogg: Marlon Brando (ok, he's dead, but you can do a lot with digital these days)
Sherriff Roscoe P. Coltrane: Harvey Keitel.
Enos: Could go a couple of ways here, but Steve Coogan comes to mind.
Daisy Duke: I would go for irony here. Possibly Janeane Garofalo.
Seriously, wouldn't you pay money to see this?Comment
-
Improving movies through retroactive cast changes
Reed of the Valley People wrote:
I've only seen about the last 30 minutes, on TBS or something. I've heard only great things, but what I saw didn't grab me at all.Speaking of that, I was shocked and appalled that a friend/colleague of mine (who is 25 or 26) had never seen Heathers and didn't seem too concerned about it.Comment
-
Improving movies through retroactive cast changes
I reckon Dean Gaffney could do a good Michael Corleone.Comment
-
Improving movies through retroactive cast changes
How about The Ladykillers, replacing Alec Guinness with Tom Ha...
Oh fuck.Comment
-
Improving movies through retroactive cast changes
Goodfellas with Charles Hawtrey, Kenneth Williams and Frankie Howerd.Comment
-
Improving movies through retroactive cast changes
This raises the excellent question of what constitutes essential viewing for Amish Americans.It's not the greatest film ever made, but I think that is essential viewing for any non-Amish American.Comment
-
Improving movies through retroactive cast changes
That's the worst part of the film. It gets kinda preachy. Up until then, it's just pure black comedy.I've heard only great things, but what I saw didn't grab me at all.Comment
-
Improving movies through retroactive cast changes
GY: Witness?
Reed: You've inspired me to pull Heathers out of my DVD collection and I'm watching it right now. I think I've seen it too many times, it's not inspiring me.Comment
-
Improving movies through retroactive cast changes
It might not hold up. It's very much "of its time." But everyone should still see it to get a feel for that period of American teenage culture.Comment
-
Improving movies through retroactive cast changes
We're already on page 2 and no Sofia Coppola jokes yet?
Alright fine:
Replace Sofia Coppola in Godfather III with a wooden plank.Comment
-
Improving movies through retroactive cast changes
I dunno...the wooden plank is already busy replacing Kevin Costner in like half a dozen movies...Comment
-
Improving movies through retroactive cast changes
Maybe a different wooden plank or perhaps an inanimate carbon rod.Comment
Comment