Charley Boorman: By Any Means

[Spearmint Rhino]

Nah. Can't get along with this.

The premise is OK: guy travels from Ireland to Sydney using only local forms of surface transport.

But the problems are twofold.

First of all, they don't stay true to it. There are no long dark three-quarter-hours of the soul in godforsaken bus shelters trying to inch towards a national border. They zoom from Dover to Croatia in about 20 mins of telly-time, largely via the fucking Orient Express.

Secondly, the presenter - who I've never heard of, but I'm guessing his star billing means the Beeb and the man himself think we should have - is a beardy banal charisma-vacuum cunt.

"Tomorrow is going to be... lots of fun!" he says to camera in a Calais hotel room. Nothing particularly eventful does happen apart from the hired Citroen breaking down.

"I can't believe I'm on the Danube!" he says, when he arrives at the Danube.

And so it goes on.

I honestly can't believe something as execrable as this is getting made at a time when license fee VFM is under such intense scrutiny.

[EIM]

Charley Boorman: By Any Means

I think he's Ewan McGregor's mate from that 'Ewan McGregor and his mate motorbike about a bit' series.

[Spearmint Rhino]

Charley Boorman: By Any Means

Great. So he's the Jonathan Wilkes of cinema.

[EIM]

Charley Boorman: By Any Means

You're right about the programme, of course. I was expecting something grand, sweeping and epic. In the end what I got was some bloke commuting. Little snippets of him travelling from a to b to c. When Palin used to do this (every fucking week, or so it seemed) he understood that the interest lay in the places and people he was visiting. Not in the fucking boat he used to cross the channel. It was supremely dull.

[Bored Of Education]

Charley Boorman: By Any Means

Not only is he Ewan MacGregor's mate and totally in love with him, Ewan turned up in the first programme to see him off and, I assume, will pop in unannounced during the series as a contractual obligation

Rich film director's son goes on gap year basically but I won't be moved to turn it off before MOTD2

[Tony C]

Charley Boorman: By Any Means

Spearmint Rhino wrote:

Great. So he's the Jonathan Wilkes of cinema.

Nailed right on, SR.

[Gerontophile]

Charley Boorman: By Any Means

SR: Didnt you see Ewan McGregor and Charley (frog eyes) Boorman doing their motorbike things called 'Long Way Round' (London to New York via Siberia) and the truly godawful 'Long Way Down' (London to Cape Town via lots of UNICEF sites)?

The first one was pretty good. The second was where you really noticed that Mr Boorman was totally fawning on the far more famous friend.

[Guest]

Charley Boorman: By Any Means

Rich film director's son goes on gap year basically

Exactly. It's rubbish.

[anton pulisov]

Charley Boorman: By Any Means

Some of the old Soviet vans they find are interesting in a petrol head kind of way, but the rest is shit.

In Turkey instead of taking a local bus, they rented a local bus and drove it themselves. Right... And when a guy called Fatih boarded their bus they took the piss out of his name.

I hate to say it, but even the Top Gear fuckers would have made it more interesting. They'd have concentrated on the modes of transport. Palin, as mentioned, concentrated on the people. Boorman and co are mostly interested in having a laugh. I would be too on a trip like that, to be honest, but it doesn't make a good TV programme.

[Bored Of Education]

Charley Boorman: By Any Means

What pisses me off about these sort of things is when they moan about missing their families. Well,you know, stay at home and spend some time with them then.

It's the whole "having a family" thing that stops me from swanning around the world in a tuk-tuk

At least, when Michael Palin phones his wife from abroad,he asks the Sheffield United score

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

Charley Boorman: By Any Means

The "By Any Means" bit suggests to me that the producers realised how shit this concept was, and decided to inject a bit of drama and urgency into the trek at the last minute. "By any means" suggests a bit of danger or risk, when in fact it's obvious that the entire affair has been meticulously planned in advance at every step along the way. You don't just turn up at a lifeboat station and ask if they'd mind running you up the coast for a bit, for example, nor do you decide to go for a spot of hot-air ballooning as a means of getting from A to B.

The fact that every different mode of transport is actually captioned with a number SCREAMS at you that the original concept was "Around the World in Eighty WAYS" - see what they did there? - but, like I said, when they got the footage back to the editing studio, everyone looked at it and thought "well, how fucking dull is that, after all"?

I actually don't mind Charley Boorman, as it happens. He's quite self-effacing about the fact that yes, he's the very wealthy son of one of the world's best film directors, and basically spent most of his twenties being a playboy and twatting about on motorbikes with like-minded young actors like McGregor who, if truth be told, were probably sucking up to him because of his contacts, not the other way round. He doesn't try to pretend he's any more than he is, unlike some celebrity children I could mention.

[Wyatt Earp]

Charley Boorman: By Any Means

Go on. Name names.

[garcia]

Charley Boorman: By Any Means

after five minutes of watching ewan mcgregor and charley boorman on jonathan ross, my girlfriend was sure the two boys were having an affair.

[Wyatt Earp]

Charley Boorman: By Any Means

The Africa series with them both in it had some lovely Spinal Tap "Jeanine's coming with us on tour" moments when McGregor announced that his missus was going to join them for the middle stretch.

[Ray de Galles]

Charley Boorman: By Any Means

Bored Of Discipline wrote:

At least, when Michael Palin phones his wife from abroad,he asks the Sheffield United score

Wednesday surely? Or is he one of those "support both teams" wierdos?

[Gangster Octopus]

Charley Boorman: By Any Means

He's always been slippery about precisely which Sheffield team he supports. Maybe he should just align with the city's new number two team...

[Bored Of Education]

Charley Boorman: By Any Means

The Africa series with them both in it had some lovely Spinal Tap "Jeanine's coming with us on tour" moments when McGregor announced that his missus was going to join them for the middle stretch.

That was hilarious.She was a right pain in the arse. All of MacGregor's family were flown out to surpise him at different points in the two series while Boorman's were made to stay at home.

This is why we were treated to half an hour at his dad's house in the first programme

[Bored Of Education]

Charley Boorman: By Any Means

Bored Of Discipline wrote:

QUOTE:

At least, when Michael Palin phones his wife from abroad,he asks the Sheffield United score

Wednesday surely? Or is he one of those "support both teams" wierdos?

After more research, it looks like he is doing a "Prince Naseem" (or, maybe, being generous, doing a Dooley)

What is it with Sheffield that they can't get a proper stupidly parochial and bitter local rivalry going?

[Gangster Octopus]

Charley Boorman: By Any Means

What? Like Bath?

[loose cannon]

Charley Boorman: By Any Means

Garcia, without having seen five minutes I think you girlfriend is right

[Spearmint Rhino]

Charley Boorman: By Any Means

I caught a bit more of this last night. He was at some Gulf port, looking at the cranes lowering containers onto ships. All he could say, as metal touched metal, was "Wow..."

I mean, really, this isn't even good enough for a cameraphone diary on Youtube, never mind a big-budget travelogue on the BBC.

[Mr Beast]

Charley Boorman: By Any Means

Wyatt Earp wrote:

The Africa series with them both in it had some lovely Spinal Tap "Jeanine's coming with us on tour" moments when McGregor announced that his missus was going to join them for the middle stretch.

That is such an apt comparison.

For Jeanine shaking a tambourine read Mrs McGregor falling off the bike every 100 yards. I think Jeanine must have told Ewan he wasn't allowed to go this time.

[N est à?]

Charley Boorman: By Any Means

That was hilarious.She was a right pain in the arse. All of MacGregor's family were flown out to surpise him at different points in the two series while Boorman's were made to stay at home.

This is why we were treated to half an hour at his dad's house in the first programme

Woah, Martin Boorman allowed TV cameras into his house?

[Bored Of Education]

Charley Boorman: By Any Means

What? Like Bath?

The Bath City/Team Bath rivalry is the epitome of petty bitter rivalry. I am one of the few people happy to watch both teams

Apart from anything else, it is non-league which means that rest of us supporters of proper teams shake our heads and pat them on the heads in a condescending fashion