Movie/TV clichés

[Sits]

In an era when bonfires are not generally the done thing, a surprising number of people have braziers in their back gardens, handy for hasty evidence disposal.

[Sits]

Not to mention their source photo will be grainy, zoomed-in CCTV where the subject is 100 feet away with half their face out of sight.

[San Bernardhinault]

Have we mentioned facial recognition software yet? Where main protagonist asks assistant who happens to be the best tech-wizard on the planet to check the facial recognition stuff to ID someone. If we get past the fact that they have good facial database, what really bothers me is that it works by drawing every single picture to the screen until it finds a match. Often with little red lines drawn across. Don't they understand that it's far more processor intensive to draw all those new pictures to the screen than it is to do the facial comparison, so at best it would slow down the process

[Satchmo Distel]

Orangutan.

[Patrick Thistle]

Though if you're Clint Eastwood you generally have to back your truck into them, if you're someone like Jim Carrey just leaning on the first one does the trick.

Clint usually got his chimp to push them over.

[elguapo4]

It is really easy to accidentally knock over a row of 30+ Harley Davidsons parked outside a bar.

Though if you're Clint Eastwood you generally have to back your truck into them, if you're someone like Jim Carrey just leaning on the first one does the trick.

[andrew7610]

It is really easy to accidentally knock over a row of 30+ Harley Davidsons parked outside a bar.

[Jah Womble]

Couples conducting affairs in 1970s dramas were. of course, compelled to leave a trail of discarded clothing from the lounge to the bedroom, clues to be discovered by unexpectedly-returning partners. A giggle from said bedroom was generally the deal-breaker.

(These days used without irony in the opening sequences of Emmerdale, I note. I remember the days when it was all sileage and lambing incidents...)

[Patrick Thistle]

We've probably had this...
A villain replies to a victim in an ambiguous / stilted way, then kills them.

Victim: "What about my wife you kidnapped you rogue?"
Villain: "You will see her very soon." <shoots him>

Victim: "Where's my payment?"
Villain: "You'll get what you're due." <shoots him>

[Patrick Thistle]

https://angrystaffofficer.com/2019/0...le-of-wakanda/

Oh, wow. The Star Wars ones on this blog are brilliant.

[Crusoe]

https://www.wired.com/story/game-of-...ical-analysis/

And in a similar vein:

https://angrystaffofficer.com/2019/0...le-of-wakanda/

[tracteurgarcon]

Prompted by recent Game of Thrones episodes (and this isn't really a spoiler):

If you have a defensible position, like a fortress or wall, you will deploy a large part of your force outside it, a tactic which has no military justification but offers an enhanced spectacle. The inevitable orders "Fall back!" and "Open the gates!" must follow, and be easily heard amidst the deafening chaos of battle.

All your ranged weapons, archers and trebuchets should be within the walls along with your reserves.

Cavalry are useless in a fortress and should be deployed outside the walls and used to harry the opposition at the flanks and, hopefully, the rear (not charge headlong into a massacre). Troops with long spears should be set up at the point where the opposition has been canalised i.e. where there's a break in the fire wall/trench, forming a literally mobile "wall" which can fall back if necessary.

In the Battle of Winterfell the army of the living should've been trying to engage in melee as little as possible whilst using their ranged weapons, artillery and air support to take out mass formations of wights in the choke points.

Then again, if we're talking rubbish tactics then the Night King wins by not sieging the castle, starving everyone and just raising the dead who are inside the walls of Winterfell. When you have an indefatigable army and, literally, all the time in the world, why attack at all?

[Hot Pepsi]

True.
The Two Towers didn’t have that. They just waited in the Hornburg for the siege.

IIRC, in the book, Gandalf suggested going after Sauraman’s army on the open field. But they didn’t and it worked out because reinforcements arrived in time.

[tee rex]

But we're talking movies, not documentaries. The plot requires an early setback, that's all. They don't go out to fill their carts with turnips. And those gung-ho expeditions lose enough horsemeat to feed the population for months.

The real justification is usually something like getting the leader-hero wounded, so he can be saved and brought back in a desperately close call, and let the coward who stayed behind take over and redeem himself.

[Hot Pepsi]

The military justification is to avoid being starved out in a prolonged siege.

[tee rex]

Prompted by recent Game of Thrones episodes (and this isn't really a spoiler):

If you have a defensible position, like a fortress or wall, you will deploy a large part of your force outside it, a tactic which has no military justification but offers an enhanced spectacle. The inevitable orders "Fall back!" and "Open the gates!" must follow, and be easily heard amidst the deafening chaos of battle.

[Walt Flanagans Dog]

When using a punchbag, it's almost inevitable a character will completely lose their rag, pounding the bag relentlessly until they are on the verge of collapse.

....the punchbag being located close to a large window, producing a stream of light onto the scene in an otherwise gloomy gym.

[Sits]

When using a punchbag, it's almost inevitable a character will completely lose their rag, pounding the bag relentlessly until they are on the verge of collapse.

[tee rex]

To us newspapers seem to be made of very thin, quite rough paper. But this is in fact an illusion. Their true nature is only revealed on TV or in a movie: thick, clean white paper as crease-free and smooth as silk.

A film's budget (or director's indifference) can be assessed by studying those newspapers in more detail. Cheap rubbish = headline for the plot ("Missing scientist found dead!") pasted onto a front page which on closer inspection has real news in the margins, usually from the wrong time and place, and in a different font.

(as parodied in Simpsons and the like)

[jwdd27]

And reporters on TV and film newspapers, even extremely junior ones, are constantly in and out of the editor's office, with the editor having a close relationship with them and taking a keen interest in their stories, rather than asking who the fuck they are.

[Sits]

To us newspapers seem to be made of very thin, quite rough paper. But this is in fact an illusion. Their true nature is only revealed on TV or in a movie: thick, clean white paper as crease-free and smooth as silk.

[Toby Gymshorts]

It is, isn't it?

[The Awesome Berbaslug!!!]

You have lifted that directly from Grosse Point Blank, AICMFP.

It's also in Die Hard

[The Awesome Berbaslug!!!]

The ventilation system in any TV or film building is big enough for a grown man to crawl along and move from room to room undetected. The grilles in the rooms are also big enough to climb in and out of, and can be removed by just lifting them off with your hands (entrance), or with a light kick (exit). They are also very clean inside, having accumulated no dust at all over the years.

These aren't big vents. It's that everyone in hollywood is two thirds normal size, like in an argos catalogue.

[Sits]

In a US hospital, a cough is unlikely to be just a cough. Far more likely it will be an incredibly rare condition, too challenging for all but the most genius of doctors.