Movie/TV clichés

[nmrfox]

She's lovely, a very good but unremarkable singer (I couldn't identify her voice) who's moved over to be a presenter of anything that needs a friendly face. Caused a huge stir by asking on one programme why we have a royal family and what makes them better than anyone else. This is treason to a surprising number of people but her career has survived.
Her partner is fairly inoffensive but I bet a lot of people say "she could do better!" when he appears. They seem happy enough.

As a presenter, completely agree with you. I don't have an issue whatsoever with SS but the constant appearances of her other half - and the catchline in our house "It's down South, here comes Joe - is beginning to wear thin. Ok, as a one-off, but it's constant now. Do any other couples have this kind of arrangement in their TV contracts (except where they are both billed of course). Grumpy old man rant over.

[Simon G]

They're a council estate Posh and Becks and my wife loves them.

[MsD]

She's lovely, a very good but unremarkable singer (I couldn't identify her voice) who's moved over to be a presenter of anything that needs a friendly face. Caused a huge stir by asking on one programme why we have a royal family and what makes them better than anyone else. This is treason to a surprising number of people but her career has survived.
Her partner is fairly inoffensive but I bet a lot of people say "she could do better!" when he appears. They seem happy enough.

[Sits]

I have no idea who those people are, but you've painted a decent picture.

[nmrfox]

And now a programme presented by Stacey Solomon. In which, if its South of Watford Gap, invariably partner Joe Swash will appear wearing a flat cap, do fuck all for about 3 minutes and then exit stage left. This happens on all her programmes. Why? (Apart from the obvious answer of giving him air time)

[Evariste Euler Gauss]

I thought it was "dicky ticker"

Edit - Walter has already mentioned this

Only in the context of Allo Allo tbf! But yes, now that I think about it, I reckon “dicky ticker” was probably the phrase used in the 1951 The Browning Version. “Dodgy”, as ad hoc suggested, has something of the Minder milieu about it.

[Patrick Thistle]

I thought it was "dicky ticker"

Edit - Walter has already mentioned this

[Evariste Euler Gauss]

Haha, the only instance of that I can recall is Saul Goodman, iirc correctly, telling one of the novice street meth dealers entrapped by a cop that if he gets convicted he’d have his rectum resized in prison. Might be misremembering the context, but it was definitely Saul Goodman (just possibly in his pre-SG phase but I don’t think so).

[Nurse Duckett]

“Dodgy ticker” is one of those phrases, of which there must be a dozen or two in British English, that people occasionally use deliberately knowing them to be hugely archaic or of an abnormal register, intending mild comic or self-parodying effect. There ought to be a word for that kind of usage. Maybe there is, but I just can’t think of it.

I believe "It's about yay big" (hands held apart) is such a phrase, exclusively (IME) used by somewhat nerdy acquaintances.

[Evariste Euler Gauss]

Dodgy ticker, which would be the British equivalent, sounds like something you would have heard at least in 1970s & 80s London.

“Dodgy ticker” is one of those phrases, of which there must be a dozen or two in British English, that people occasionally use deliberately knowing them to be hugely archaic or of an abnormal register, intending mild comic or self-parodying effect. There ought to be a word for that kind of usage. Maybe there is, but I just can’t think of it.

I’m trying to place an instance of its usage that comes to mind, and I think it was a scene in the original (1950?) The Browning Version where one of the young public school boys is talking to a classmate and mimicking their middle aged teacher. Edit: I should clarify- obviously poorly mimicking. It is almost impossible I think to imagine the mimicked teacher himself ever using the phrase.

[Evariste Euler Gauss]

I misread that as a “bum tickler” which would be something entirely different and, I suspect, not very noir.

Following the lyrical imagination of Chelsea fans, that ought to catch on as an informal expression for celery.

[Mr Delicieux]

'What are you going to do, shoot me?'

*Gets shot*

[Patrick Thistle]

I misread that as a “bum tickler” which would be something entirely different and, I suspect, not very noir.

More phwooar than noir

[Walter Knight]

Didn't Kenneth Connor's character in 'Allo 'Allo often refer to his having a 'dicky ticker'? Presumably not an authentic French phrase?

[ursus arctos]

Yes

I think phrase may well get have been in wider use in the cities of the 30s and 40s that noir pieces tend to be set than it has been in my lifetime.

[ad hoc]

I’m reminded that cardiovascular disease is always referred to as a “bum ticker” in noir stories. Nobody uses that phrase in real life.

Dodgy ticker, which would be the British equivalent, sounds like something you would have heard at least in 1970s & 80s London.

(it probably should be borne in mind that I get my understanding of 1970s & 80s London from Minder and Only Fools and Horses)

[San Bernardhinault]

I misread that as a “bum tickler” which would be something entirely different and, I suspect, not very noir.

[Hot Pepsi]

I’m reminded that cardiovascular disease is always referred to as a “bum ticker” in noir stories. Nobody uses that phrase in real life.

[diggedy derek]

This article may be pertinent to your question

https://amp.theguardian.com/tv-and-r...game-celebrity

[nmrfox]

4am in The Apprentice house. The phone rings. A voice speaks "You need to report to somewhere or other in London. The cars will pick you up in 20 minutes". End of call. Excited contestant runs upstairs to impart the news to all of their sleeping housemates. Shots of people getting dressed, doing their hair, putting on make-up etc (plus inevitably one housemate looking bleary eyed from their bed as if they've spent most of the evening drinking Buckfast).

Next we see all of the smartly dressed hopefuls striding out purposefully toward the waiting cars. And the sun is shining and the weather is bright and clear. At 4.20am how is this possible?

[Patrick Thistle]

A device that's used to introduce characters at the start of the movie - they are on their way somewhere and they stop to order a coffee (or the coffee place has their order ready). If the character is suave and self assured they know what they want and either place a complicated order or the staff already have it ready and waiting and hand it over listing off the complicated instructions they've memorised. If the character is a klutz or a flake, ordering coffee is a challenge and then they spill it on themselves.

A variant is someone getting coffee for their boss. The boss's order is going to be horribly complicated and will probably go wrong.

[Sits]

Damn right.

[San Bernardhinault]

Shaft!

[tee rex]

A character will be seen for the first time walking purposefully along a street, perhaps from home to work, or to the shops. We know this is a good person because as s/he walks there are cheery greetings from everyone they pass, with name ("Morning Abby!", "Looking good, Abby!"). The greeters are sweeping, or shifting things, or setting up for the day. Our hero(ine) does not stop to have a conversation, or to inquire politely about the health of the people who have greeted them so warmly, they might wave or greet but are on the move and the walking must continue, at pace.

Often shown during the opening credits, hence lack of dialogue.

[Felicity, I guess so]

And once parked they never, ever lock the fucking thing