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    #51
    Movie/TV clichés

    If our protagonist is on the brink of losing his virginity he must, irrespective of venue, lose his mess the instant our female protagonist (invariably hot/unattainable/called Mary-Lou) touches him. I know from experience that it takes at least ten seconds for that to happen.

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      #52
      Movie/TV clichés

      "Barman, another. Make it a large one."

      "You've had enough for one night buddy. Can I call you a cab?"

      "I'll decide when I've had enough goddamn it!"

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        #53
        Movie/TV clichés

        Also, when the heroes walk into the bar, they just say "Two beers" and get exactly what they'd wanted.

        And when there's a heart-to-heart talk in any office or police station, you pull two rocks glasses from a desk drawer and fill them with an inch of whiskey or scotch.

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          #54
          Movie/TV clichés

          WOM wrote: Also, when the heroes walk into the bar, they just say "Two beers" and get exactly what they'd wanted.

          And when there's a heart-to-heart talk in any office or police station, you pull two rocks glasses from a desk drawer and fill them with an inch of whiskey or scotch.
          In fact, booze deserves a sub-section. First, if you are a gangster/politician/detective you can consume tumbler after tumbler of whisky without it ever altering your mental faculties or retarding your ability to do your job. The last time I had four-fingers of the good stuff on the job I was escorted from the premises before elevenses. For the detective, however, this theory falls down if his partner/wife has just died, then whisky has the potency of Hillbilly moonshine and libel to promote bar-brawls or gun-in-mouth-suicide-crying jags. Any sitcom character who drinks whisky will, without fail, commit some indiscretion of which they have no memory. Said character will then spend the remainder of the episode piecing the evening together. Sitcom characters always – always – have a sore head after a night on the sauce; they never have the shits or a hankering for pies. Film characters will only ever vomit one exact mouthful of maw-muck – no more. Yet film characters can hamster-glug vodka straight from the bottle without ever boaking or vomiting (one mouthful or not). Etc.

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            #55
            Movie/TV clichés

            There's a scene in an episode of 'The Sweeney' when John Thaw is smoking a fag in the front of a car and Dennis Waterman offers him some cream cakes he's just bought. "Chocolate eclair, guv." He takes the cake and eats it, cream oozing from his lips, still holding and occasionally puffing on the fag.

            Not a cliche, obviously. In fact it's the only I have ever seen anyone do anything like this ever.

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              #56
              Movie/TV clichés

              Also, in a drama or a rom-com, an unexpected fall into a body of water is a prelude to mirth or sex. In a sitcom, it's a prelude to a bad cold/chills/feet in a bucket of hot water while wrapped in a blanket.

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                #57
                Movie/TV clichés

                In a horror film it pretty much always means instant death.

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                  #58
                  Movie/TV clichés

                  Any hot drink is handed over, clearly empty & a massive swig is unconvincingly taken despite it coming straight from the kettle.

                  Oh, and

                  During any sort of meal,characters always have to talk with their fucking mouths full.
                  Go on, push the food in (on the back of the fork) then plug it in, hamster like, to your cheeks before spraying it all around with inconsequential dialogue.

                  Or just pretend you've eaten, you know, like acting.

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                    #59
                    Movie/TV clichés

                    If you're a surly old guy and you're eating an apple, you carve off hunks with a knife and eat it straight from the blade. Like people in real life don't.

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                      #60
                      Movie/TV clichés

                      The goody's car makes the jump across a hazard using the fortuitously discarded & conveniently shaped building materiels safely in spite of one camera capturing the bonnet flying off & the car generally getting stoved in.

                      Filming a 'night scene' by just turning down the brightness.

                      All baddies wearing those cut-off sleeved denim jackets & bandanas.

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                        #61
                        Movie/TV clichés

                        Boris Carpark wrote: Filming a 'night scene' by just turning down the brightness.
                        Called 'day for night' he says, pointlessly.

                        Comment


                          #62
                          Movie/TV clichés

                          The A Team & The Fall Guy did this every week to the derision of my 10 yr old self. It was always the same back lot of the studio too. Mexico? Stick a big hat & a blanket on someone. Hawaii? Grass skirts. Etc.
                          Still watched it though.

                          Comment


                            #63
                            Movie/TV clichés

                            WOM wrote: If you're a surly old guy and you're eating an apple, you carve off hunks with a knife and eat it straight from the blade. Like people in real life don't.
                            Not to rain on your parade, but that's the only way I can eat apples on account of my false front tooth. That's not a joke nor is it particularly funny, just thought I should mention it so the scientific rigour of the thread is maintained.

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                              #64
                              Movie/TV clichés

                              The A Team & The Fall Guy did this every week to the derision of my 10 yr old self. It was always the same back lot of the studio too. Mexico? Stick a big hat & a blanket on someone. Hawaii? Grass skirts. Etc.
                              Still watched it though.


                              For a much more amusing variation of that process, the old '60's ITC thrillers - The Saint, for example - were even worse, with a few signs in Spanish, a few awnings here and there, and an pot plant plonked in certain areas to denote the exotic mystique of a foreign land. No matter the buildings and sets they adorned clearly said 'this is a warehouse in Catford', all of which were made even more incongruous by the occasional insert of footage of the real Spain to offset the clearly overcast skies of Blighty and its dull, feebly-made-over surroundings.

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                                #65
                                Movie/TV clichés

                                The Adam West Batman series deserves a mention for least effort made to disguise the topographical and geographical differences between southern California and the eastern seaboard.

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                                  #66
                                  Movie/TV clichés

                                  ian.64 wrote: The A Team & The Fall Guy did this every week to the derision of my 10 yr old self. It was always the same back lot of the studio too. Mexico? Stick a big hat & a blanket on someone. Hawaii? Grass skirts. Etc.
                                  Still watched it though.


                                  For a much more amusing variation of that process, the old '60's ITC thrillers - The Saint, for example - were even worse, with a few signs in Spanish, a few awnings here and there, and an pot plant plonked in certain areas to denote the exotic mystique of a foreign land. No matter the buildings and sets they adorned clearly said 'this is a warehouse in Catford', all of which were made even more incongruous by the occasional insert of footage of the real Spain to offset the clearly overcast skies of Blighty and its dull, feebly-made-over surroundings.
                                  Same with 'Star Wars' - there is no way that was the planet Hoth.

                                  Comment


                                    #67
                                    Movie/TV clichés

                                    In these times of poverty and malnutrition, the amount of good food and drink that gets wasted in TV and movies drives me nuts. Even the obviously fake stuff.

                                    I mean, if there's an emergency then okay, you might choose to leave the restaurant, but - just once - I'd like to hear someone say 'Look, if it's all the same to you, I only just bought this soup and club sandwich combo. These things take a while - you go ahead and I'll see you at the station in half an hour or so.'

                                    And for this to be seen in real time, while whatever disaster continues elsewhere.

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                                      #68
                                      Movie/TV clichés

                                      Most overused TV cliché? Stephen Fry probably.

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                                        #69
                                        Movie/TV clichés

                                        Two characters talk, sometimes talk turns into an argument that ends in bitterness. Character turns to leave. Just as he or she reaches the door...they are stopped by a word of regret or the expression of second thoughts just as they're about to reach the doorknob.

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                                          #70
                                          Movie/TV clichés

                                          During any sort of meal,characters always have to talk with their fucking mouths full.

                                          They also scrape and bang their plates too loudly with their cutlery, particularly when eating in silence.

                                          If we'd done that at primary school, where no talking was allowed at the dinner table, we'd have been given a clip round the ear by Mrs Henderson, probably with the ladle she always had in her hand.

                                          Comment


                                            #71
                                            Movie/TV clichés

                                            No-one ever says "goodbye" when they hang up the phone. Coroners/assistant DAs/lab-lackeys must endure this rudeness more than other movie characters.

                                            Comment


                                              #72
                                              Movie/TV clichés

                                              US law courts are an over-fertile breeding ground for the cliché. The brilliant but personally flawed outside of court defence lawyer (who is normally always a goodie). Outside of court he normally restores or builds wooden boats living in a secluded beach house to represent rugged sensitivity.

                                              Lawyer stares intently and disbelievingly at a brand new piece of evidence just handed to him by the bailiff while the Judge repeatedly tries to get his attention, finally screaming “MR MARTINEZ!!!”. Lawyer then asks for 10 minute recess to ascertain the import of said new evidence. Recess is always granted in this case.

                                              Whilst goodie (normally always defence) lawyer interrogates bad witness, prosecuting lawyer will angrily shout “objection, your honour!!” when defence lawyer accuses bad witness of guilty actions we already know about as the audience. The objection will always be sustained.

                                              At this point bad witness will smirk evilly to the extent that it drives goodie lawyer to accuse bad witness of even more criminal activity. Prosecuting lawyer says “objection” in an increasingly sarcastic manner (normally sat down staring at the fan in the ceiling) to every accusation laid down by defence lawyer until Judge calls both lawyers to the bench to demand to “see both in my chambers immediately”.

                                              After recess or later in film, said bad witness is rumbled by new evidence- all of a sudden the prosecuting lawyer is “overruled” with every objection he lays. After 4 or 5 “overruleds”, Judge leans across bench and says quietly but firmly to bad witness- “Witness will answer the question.” Rumbled.

                                              Defence lawyer wins and as all joyful hell breaks loose in courtroom more often than not between prosecuting and defence lawyer there is an a. grudging, firm but respectful handshake b. a few respectful words c. meaningful looks between prosecuting lawyer and defence lawyer or d. A combination of all three.

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                                                #73
                                                Movie/TV clichés

                                                The past of a certain character - a mystery man, possibly a man with a shady past - is researched by the lead, who trawls through files on the person involved. He comes across old photographs, which shows the mystery man in various locales, where he is armed, with other suspicious types, etc. For reasons which can't really be explained, the face of the man suggests he's gone through those years with very badly-photoshopped features, defying reality enough to look as if they've been cut-and-pasted on.

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                                                  #74
                                                  Movie/TV clichés

                                                  When the good character makes an important pronouncement the bad character applauds them; slowly, loudly and ironically. See Geoffrey's excellent post re. lawyers - quite likely to be done by bad lawyer after good lawyer's summing up.

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                                                    #75
                                                    Movie/TV clichés

                                                    I reckon the collective genius of OTF could come up with an entire movie script composed solely of cliches.

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