Superheroes: no need to worry about having your heroic alter ego discovered. Simply wear a small eyemask and stupid outfit when super-heroing and no one will guess. Better still, forget the mask, just wear the costume, then don glasses in day-to-day life.
Characters drinking cups of coffee that are clearly empty; recently expanded to include Starbucks-type containers.
Policeman stops his car and gets out without removing key from lock.
Woman gets out of bed after sex, grabs blanket to cover nakedness even though the only person who can see her is the guy who was in bed with her. Or woman wakes up after sex but is incongruously wearing bra and pants.
Character answers phone and the other person explains the nature of their call in about three seconds rather than the time it would actually take. Character who answers phone repeats back what the caller has just said.
Characters always speak in full, grammatical sentences and never trail off or interrupt each other.
They tend to have the ideal witty / apt / profound fully formed reply ready, for whatever is said to them.
I'd quite like to see if it's possible to make TV/a movie which mimics real, unpolished speech without appearing annoyingly pretentious. May be impossible.
Mike Leigh or Ken Loach, maybe, but they belong to an old-style BBC 2 era that is unlikely to be viable in the current landscape. The Sopranos maybe occasionally had that, in the awkwardness with which the characters attempted to communicate (especially family members) but it could also sound like actors imitating the archetypes of Mafia characters, rather than creating unique individuals.
Satchmo Distel wrote: Characters drinking cups of coffee that are clearly empty; recently expanded to include Starbucks-type containers.
Policeman stops his car and gets out without removing key from lock.
Woman gets out of bed after sex, grabs blanket to cover nakedness even though the only person who can see her is the guy who was in bed with her. Or woman wakes up after sex but is incongruously wearing bra and pants.
Character answers phone and the other person explains the nature of their call in about three seconds rather than the time it would actually take. Character who answers phone repeats back what the caller has just said.
Characters always speak in full, grammatical sentences and never trail off or interrupt each other.
The 'fake drinking' thing really bugs me, too. The worst example lately is that rubbish liquid-Weetabix commercial where the guy's racing to work and clearly 'not' drinking whatever that slop is in the bottle he's holding. (He then, of course, winds up at a breakfast meeting where there are fruit and croissants on the table - and you can only think 'why didn't you just wait and have that instead, you plank?' But this should probably be on that other thread.)
As for the naked girl covering herself up, that sounds more like your wishful thinking, no?
"Who dunnit?"
"Not sure. But my money is on the slightly more famous actor than the other suspects who the audience recognise from other shows and only appeared for the first two minutes of the episode so clearly hasn't earned their slice of the fee yet"
Sits wrote: Superheroes: no need to worry about having your heroic alter ego discovered. Simply wear a small eyemask and stupid outfit when super-heroing and no one will guess. Better still, forget the mask, just wear the costume, then don glasses in day-to-day life.
Sits wrote: They tend to have the ideal witty / apt / profound fully formed reply ready, for whatever is said to them.
I'd quite like to see if it's possible to make TV/a movie which mimics real, unpolished speech without appearing annoyingly pretentious. May be impossible.
Robert Altman usually had a sound design in his movies that when the camera pans around a scene, you hear snatches of conversations from the people now in view, rather than just whatever the principals are saying. You end up with a patchwork overlay of dialogue, much as you may experience in a crowded pub.
It can be infuriating as hell when something important is barely audible, but in M*A*S*H and expecially McCabe and Mrs Miller (watch this tomorrow if you've never seen it, Julie Christie Ftw) it can be wonderful.
For the Win: I believe it means amazing to ver kids.
Julie Christie is of course absolutely stone beautiful in it, and there are a couple of actors fleetingly (but not Herself as far as I remember) in the nip, but you'd have to be fair desperate to scratch a wank from this film.
1. The lead character in a movie or TV drama is lumbered with an unwanted dog after its owner dies or because it was wandering.
2. The character tries to shoo the dog away, shut it out of his/her house, grumbling in its general direction.
3. The dog sits patiently outside the door, whining/barking and wagging its tail.
4. The dog begins to follow the character everywhere he/she goes. The character is not happy about it.
5. Repeat 4, character slightly less grudging.
6. Repeat 5 until character and dog establish an unbreakable bond.
Satchmo Distel wrote: Woman gets out of bed after sex, grabs blanket to cover nakedness even though the only person who can see her is the guy who was in bed with her. Or woman wakes up after sex but is incongruously wearing bra and pants.
If the film is not R-rated, when the lad and the lass are lying in bed after the deed the sheet must be placed in an S-shape, covering the lad up to his waist and the lass up to her armpits. All very natural.
Woman gets out of bed after sex, grabs blanket to cover nakedness even though the only person who can see her is the guy who was in bed with her. Or woman wakes up after sex but is incongruously wearing bra and pants.
If the film is not R-rated, when the lad and the lass are lying in bed after the deed the sheet must be placed in an S-shape, covering the lad up to his waist and the lass up to her armpits. All very natural.
As is so often the case, there's a TV Trope for that, the Modesty Bedsheet:
"Apparently, L-shaped blankets, also known as the His 'n' Hers Bedsheet, are a fad in fictionland."
At Christmas, Americans only ever sing Joy to the World. They like carol singing very much, and sometimes even get a proper lantern, as if they were on a Christmas card.
Characters get out of bed (sometimes from under an L-shaped sheet, see above) in the morning, and the first thing they do is go into the adjacent bathroom and brush their teeth – despite no breakfast of any sort having been consumed. I, for one, have never done this, not being in the habit of eating in my sleep; nor so far as I'm aware has anyone else I know.
The actual act of toothbrushing, meanwhile, is an implausibly neat and brisk affair, like in adverts. It takes mere seconds and is never accompanied by the slightest foaming at the mouth, spraying the mirror with white flecks or dribbling toothpaste down their shirtfront. No-one stands there for ages carefully moving an electric brush from one tooth to the next, or has to worry about it running out of charge halfway; nobody fiddles around with floss and interdental brushes, nor spends a minute gargling mouthwash with the noise of a malfunctioning washing machine. The process is completed by a single swift spit into the sink and a half-second on and off of the tap. They leave without needing to wipe their face with a towel or even rinsing their mouth out.
I always eat breakfast after completing morning ablutions, (and walking the dog) and have since a child. The idea of eating as soon as I wake makes me feel slightly nauseous TBH.
Fuck I barely ever eat breakfast. If I waited till eating I'd be honking the office out with Deathbreath till 11. I'm struggling to imagine getting up and dressed, having breakfast and then going to work. I'd be right pissed off about the 20 extra minutes in my scratcher I'd have forgone.
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