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    Movie/TV clichés

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      Movie/TV clichés

      Sits wrote: During chases on foot, it's imperative that a stall of fruit is knocked flying. It's fairly critical that the stall holder will then yell "Hey, hey, whaddya doin'?" Or similar.

      During a car chase, it's equally imperative that at least one of the following is driven through / knocked over:

      * cardboard boxes (as pioneered in Starsky & Hutch opening credits);
      * dustbins;
      * hanging washing;
      * stalls of fruit (see foot chases, above).
      The cardboard boxes will always be conspicuously empty. Why Americans like to pile up empty cardboard boxes I do not know.

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        Movie/TV clichés

        Thinking of foot chases, whoever runs off will be able to run at full sprint for at least a minute. The chaser will also do the same. Nobody ever needs to pace themselves.

        Also, every single chase, no matter where it is, will end up down an alley at a tall chain-link fence that the escapee will climb but the pursuer probably won't. This will happen in almost any city on earth, even though there are only a tiny number of 8 foot tall chain-link fences down alleyways.

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          Movie/TV clichés

          The latter might occasionally involve a pair of rabidly barking boxer dogs jumping up and down on one or other side of the fence. This, however, is usually reserved for family dramas.

          Vulgarian Visigoth wrote:
          Originally posted by Sits
          During chases on foot, it's imperative that a stall of fruit is knocked flying. It's fairly critical that the stall holder will then yell "Hey, hey, whaddya doin'?" Or similar.

          During a car chase, it's equally imperative that at least one of the following is driven through / knocked over:

          * cardboard boxes (as pioneered in Starsky & Hutch opening credits);
          * dustbins;
          * hanging washing;
          * stalls of fruit (see foot chases, above).
          The cardboard boxes will always be conspicuously empty. Why Americans like to pile up empty cardboard boxes I do not know.
          In more innocuous British chase scenes, an escaping cyclist/motorcyclist will invariably career through the ribbon at the opening of a new town hall, leaving the shocked mayor peering over his glasses just as the pursuing pack careers through what remains of the ceremony, leaving him exasperated. The mayor will then throw something - possibly a giant rosette - to the floor in frustration, while several elderly ladies chatter at one another in astonishment.

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            Movie/TV clichés

            As the Mayor turns in exasperation he barges the elaborately attired & coiffured Mayoress into the huge cake, precariously perched on a nearby trestle table.
            With HILARIOUS consequences, bringing some much needed light relief & offers our pursuing hero a chance to glance in his mirror & glibly drawl......
            *hands over baton*

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              Movie/TV clichés

              When looking through binoculars, illustrate the subsequent view by fuzzily blocking out the vague outline except for two concentric circles despite the view for anyone who's ever looked through binoculars not being like this, ever.

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                Movie/TV clichés

                Reginald Perrin makes exactly that observation (in both senses) in the book version of The Fall and Rise of... said character. But that's an odd one, isn't it? I mean, why didn't the first person to create this falsehood decide to have it as two non-overlapping circles - which would ultimately be no less accurate?

                Viz the 'hapless mayor' scenario - there'll also be a brief moment in which a couple of bystanders will be seen pointing after the rogue cyclist/chasing pack, as if it isn't already glaringly obvious a) who it was, or b) which way he's gone.

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                  Movie/TV clichés

                  I suppose because the actual pair of binoculars contains two lens casings that are joined side-by-side, hence the motif of the touching/overlapping circles. I guess it 'stuck' because, although it's a complete falsehood, it nonetheless sort of suggests the look of the object more than a representation of the actual view would – which the moronic viewer might mistake for the field of vision through a telescope, or a peephole, or a toilet roll tube, etc. etc.

                  Misaligned binoculars with the eyepieces the wrong distance apart will produce an oval field of view, although in real life it'll be only just off-circular, not two distinct circles that only just overlap at the centre. Anyone who does actually see two circles like that has probably dropped their binos and knocked them permanently out of whack.

                  Boris Carpark wrote: [...] fuzzily blocking out the vague outline except for two concentric circles despite the view for anyone who's ever looked through binoculars not being like this, ever.
                  Since the only way you'd see concentric circles would be if you'd got a Polo mint stuck on the lens, then this is indeed a perishingly unlikely view, meanwhile...

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                    Movie/TV clichés

                    The chain link link fence is so good I knew it was coming before we reached it.

                    Yay I did a post on my phone!

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                      Movie/TV clichés

                      Angie Tribeca reminded me of another cop one recently: when they interview various potential witnesses, it would be dull viewing if they just had a series of conversations. So to add gratuitous movement and a change of location, a witness will be interviewed at his place of work, e.g. a blue collar guy doing something physical, like loading and unloading a van. He doesn't stop work to answer the questions, he says "Dunno what to tell you" and lifts something up, then "I hardly knew the guy", and puts it down. Wiping sweat from his brow, he concludes with "Sorry I couldn't be more help", before lifting another load.

                      He obviously has a bastard for a boss and needs to join a union that will fight for his "tea and interrogation" breaks.

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                        Movie/TV clichés

                        I thought of this thread this morning as I made my breakfast. The coffee machine instructed me that it needed water with the message: "Fill Tank".

                        Hmm, I thought, Phil Tank sounds like a great action hero name. It's probably that kind of coincidence that inspires authors or scriptwriters to arrive at action hero names. Short, snappy, lots of hard consonants, perhaps some connotation of toughness.

                        You don't get many action heroes called Tarquin Limpdick.

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                          Movie/TV clichés

                          tee rex wrote: Angie Tribeca reminded me of another cop one recently: when they interview various potential witnesses, it would be dull viewing if they just had a series of conversations. So to add gratuitous movement and a change of location, a witness will be interviewed at his place of work, e.g. a blue collar guy doing something physical, like loading and unloading a van. He doesn't stop work to answer the questions, he says "Dunno what to tell you" and lifts something up, then "I hardly knew the guy", and puts it down. Wiping sweat from his brow, he concludes with "Sorry I couldn't be more help", before lifting another load.
                          He obviously has a bastard for a boss and needs to join a union that will fight for his "tea and interrogation" breaks.
                          You're spot on tee rex - and pinpointed why they do it like this, i.e. the "dull viewing" factor. It's always irritating to see how little respect the interviewees have for the boys in blue, though. Sits hit the same nail on the head way back on page 2:

                          Sits wrote: REAL LIFE: you work a manual job, e.g. packing crates, putting carcasses on hooks at an abbatoir, and the police arrive to interview you about a crime. You go to the staff room, or somewhere else quiet, to answer their questions.
                          MOVIE/TV: you work a manual job, e.g. packing crates, putting carcasses on hooks at an abbatoir, and the police arrive to interview you about a crime. You continue carrying out your work, in fact become more aggressive about it and they have to scuttle behind you to keep up. You bark out answers angrily, exuding an air of impatience and paranoia.

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                            Movie/TV clichés

                            G-Man wrote: I thought of this thread this morning as I made my breakfast. The coffee machine instructed me that it needed water with the message: "Fill Tank".
                            Hmm, I thought, Phil Tank sounds like a great action hero name. It's probably that kind of coincidence that inspires authors or scriptwriters to arrive at action hero names. Short, snappy, lots of hard consonants, perhaps some connotation of toughness.
                            You don't get many action heroes called Tarquin Limpdick.
                            I want to see the adventures of Phil Tank now.

                            And it's so true - take an action star with a decidedly unheroic name like Sylvester, Arnold, Steven, Dwayne or Wesley, say, and look up his IMDb page, and you're guaranteed to find that all his characters are called Jake, John, Jack, Rick, Hank, Ray, Jim or Mike, and maybe if they have to go beyond four letters then Chris or Steve, at a push. Nary a Brian, Clive, Barry, Reginald or Jeremy among the lot of them.

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                              Movie/TV clichés

                              I surely can't be the only one pissed off at how ubiquitous the slow-motion-walk-by-a-group-of-lads-about-to-execute-a-plan has become?

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                                Movie/TV clichés

                                Possessed people who start floating about and screaming obscenities in Aramaic in a guttural voice. Wouldnt they more likely just stand as a Tory councillor?

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                                  Movie/TV clichés

                                  Various Artist wrote: Sits hit the same nail on the head way back on page 2:

                                  Originally posted by Sits
                                  REAL LIFE: you work a manual job, e.g. packing crates, putting carcasses on hooks at an abbatoir, and the police arrive to interview you about a crime. You go to the staff room, or somewhere else quiet, to answer their questions.
                                  MOVIE/TV: you work a manual job, e.g. packing crates, putting carcasses on hooks at an abbatoir, and the police arrive to interview you about a crime. You continue carrying out your work, in fact become more aggressive about it and they have to scuttle behind you to keep up. You bark out answers angrily, exuding an air of impatience and paranoia.
                                  Damn that Sits, making me read the thread ...

                                  Scene: Tee Rex, the good guy on the case, is interviewing the witness. He's got all he can out of him, and he's preparing to leave ...

                                  Witness: "And that's all I remember. Say, do I have to keep repeating all this? It's just like I told the other cop who came around, at the start of the thread ..."
                                  TR: "Eh? What other cop?"
                                  Witness: "Oh, he had a badge and everything. I didn't get a good look at it though ... "

                                  *light bulb goes on in TR's head, several seconds behind the audience ... "

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                                    Movie/TV clichés

                                    Watch out for yourself tee rex, that "other cop" Sits was pretending to be was no cop. If you're really unlucky, he was a T-1000...

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                                      Movie/TV clichés

                                      "Gonna need a gurney here!"

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                                        Movie/TV clichés

                                        See, I'd like to write a Naked Gun type movie that spoofs Law & Order. There'd absolutely be a scene where a guy is unloading a laundry truck that goes like...

                                        "Yeah, I remember that guy. Used to drive for us for a couple of weeks. He had two brothers who'd swindled him out of his inheritance and he vowed revenge. I put him in touch with a guy who sells guns with their serial numbers filed off, and connected with a kid in IT who was going to hack their bank accounts while setting up a fake trail implicating them in a money laundering operation in case the killing went bad. I have all the information stored in three places, with recent photos of all known parties and associates. Sorry I couldn't be more help."

                                        "Yeah, well if you remember anything...give us a call."

                                        (Except I think they did that gag already with a gabby shoe-shine guy in one of those movies.)

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                                          Movie/TV clichés

                                          I'd also do a riff on that scene where the one guy offers the other guy a drink: he reaches into a desk drawer and picks up two 'rocks' glasses in one hand by putting his fingers into them while grabbing a corked whisky bottle with the other.

                                          My scene would involve two tough guys and the "Wanna drink?" "Yeah sure..." set up, but then he'd grab a cocktail shaker, some crushed ice, three different colourful liquors, two juices and a big fancy garnish and umbrella. It'd be the fruitiest cruise-ship drink you'd ever seen, served in one of those New Orleans hurricane glasses. And then they'd both just sip on them while discussing their fucked up life scenario.

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                                            Movie/TV clichés

                                            All armies, or any groups of people hiding/searching in a sizeable area, must either not post lookouts at all, or choose people who are hopeless.

                                            If done realistically, the lookout would shout "Here they come!" or "Land ahoy!", and then a barely distinguishable dot would appear on the screen, and we would wait for ages for it to loom larger. Since this would be as entertaining as it sounds, instead the lookout has to spot the danger moments before it arrives. This works if you're inside a cramped labyrinth, but not so much if you're in the middle of an open battle plain or ocean, with views to a distant horizon.

                                            I watched "Exodus: Gods and Kings" the other day, and the Egyptians were bloody lucky to defeat the Hittites, considering that they were unprepared for the arrival of a vast, noisy, dust-churning cavalry (and meeting them in battle was the only reason they were camped out there in the first place).

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                                              Movie/TV clichés

                                              WOM wrote: I'd also do a riff on that scene where the one guy offers the other guy a drink: he reaches into a desk drawer and picks up two 'rocks' glasses in one hand by putting his fingers into them while grabbing a corked whisky bottle with the other.

                                              My scene would involve two tough guys and the "Wanna drink?" "Yeah sure..." set up, but then he'd grab a cocktail shaker, some crushed ice, three different colourful liquors, two juices and a big fancy garnish and umbrella. It'd be the fruitiest cruise-ship drink you'd ever seen, served in one of those New Orleans hurricane glasses. And then they'd both just sip on them while discussing their fucked up life scenario.
                                              Beautiful, WOM. I'm laughing just picturing it.

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                                                Movie/TV clichés

                                                The one with Alec Baldwin and Meryl Streep a few years back was all right. Can't remember what it was called.

                                                It's Complicated, if I remember correctly.

                                                'I've got a bad feeling about this' or variations on that theme.

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                                                  Movie/TV clichés

                                                  Got a feeling I replied to a post on a page I mistakenly clicked on right now, but there you are.

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                                                    Movie/TV clichés

                                                    No worries. It's just nice to see you back.

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