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    Movie/TV clichés

    In American TV dramas it's quite common that when a couple are about to make the Beast With Two Backs for the first time (or perhaps after an unexpected reunion) the hero will sweep the heroine off her feet and carry her bodily to the bed/sofa/chaise longue. This is done with ease and the hero never puts his back out.

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      Movie/TV clichés

      British soaps again:

      Everyone's Christmas decorations go up on the same day (and come down again as precisely), and their radios have a three-song playlist consisting of:

      Slade - Here it is Merry Christmas
      Wizzard - I Wish it Could be Christmas Every Day
      Elton John - Step Into Christmas

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        Movie/TV clichés

        Throw in Jonah Lewie and The Waitresses and the soundtrack's probably not completely inaccurate.

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          Movie/TV clichés

          Sits With Remote wrote: In American TV dramas it's quite common that when a couple are about to make the Beast With Two Backs for the first time (or perhaps after an unexpected reunion) the hero will sweep the heroine off her feet and carry her bodily to the bed/sofa/chaise longue. This is done with ease and the hero never puts his back out.
          Sex deserves a sub-section. There is no penumbra when it comes to movie sex: it’s either saxophone/chiffon/claw-the-back eye-poppingly wonderful, or it’s oops-in-my-pants apology awful. No one gets a hand-job on a Tuesday morning if they “promise to do the dishes.” Spunk evaporates upon hitting movie air: it doesn’t require the mopping services of a sock/towel/curtain. No one ever – ever – complains about their clothes being ripped off: “awe, Daphne, that was my dad’s tank-top – I doubt he has the receipt.” A job in accountancy/middle-management immediately translates to a penchant for leather/rubber/gimp-masks. Fat people don’t have sex unless the main character is having sex with a “fatty”. Unless he’s fat. The end of The Italian Job is a metaphor for the establishment’s regret at the pace of female sexual liberation: “you’re only supposed to blow the bloody doors off.” No one has to all-fours-it crawl - balls like bags of marbles - to the stereo on the floor to change the CD because apparently “Yankee Hotel Foxtrot” isn’t getting her in the mood. Etc.

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            Movie/TV clichés

            In American TV dramas it's quite common that when a couple are about to make the Beast With Two Backs for the first time (or perhaps after an unexpected reunion) the hero will sweep the heroine off her feet and carry her bodily to the bed/sofa/chaise longue. This is done with ease and the hero never puts his back out.
            I sense an air of regret in your tone...

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              Movie/TV clichés

              Jah Womble wrote:
              In American TV dramas it's quite common that when a couple are about to make the Beast With Two Backs for the first time (or perhaps after an unexpected reunion) the hero will sweep the heroine off her feet and carry her bodily to the bed/sofa/chaise longue. This is done with ease and the hero never puts his back out.
              I sense an air of regret in your tone...
              Ah well now that would be telling....

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                Movie/TV clichés

                Back to cops.

                Can anyone remember any cop show where the main protagonist:

                *Is married, faithfully and happily
                *May or may not have a well-adjusted child or children
                *Is not an alcoholic/gambler or addict of any sort
                *Has no serious psychological disorders
                *Is not a maverick?

                The best Mrs. Sits and I could come up with was John Thaw's role as Kavanagh QC, but he wasn't a cop. From memory Tyne Daley's Mary Beth Lacey in Cagney & Lacey was married with a family. On reflection though both Kavanagh and Lacey were more than capable of a bit of maverickism. Phil Davies' character in Whitechapel fits the bill pretty well, but is of course the sidekick. The lead has OCD.

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                  Movie/TV clichés

                  There's no point in doing a show about dull characters.

                  Although on Law & Order, little is revealed about the characters. The plot is the star.

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                    Movie/TV clichés

                    There's no point in doing a show about dull characters.

                    Although on Law & Order, little is revealed about the characters. The plot is the star.

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                      Movie/TV clichés

                      I've been thinking about starting a thread on Law & Order, essentially to ask people who've watched it for longer than I have how the bloody hell it became so big/won so many awards. Perhaps because I've only started watching it very recently - and thus well after seeing The Wire - but it really is crap.

                      Slightly Brown wrote:
                      Originally posted by Sits With Remote
                      In American TV dramas it's quite common that when a couple are about to make the Beast With Two Backs for the first time (or perhaps after an unexpected reunion) the hero will sweep the heroine off her feet and carry her bodily to the bed/sofa/chaise longue. This is done with ease and the hero never puts his back out.
                      Sex deserves a sub-section. There is no penumbra when it comes to movie sex: it’s either saxophone/chiffon/claw-the-back eye-poppingly wonderful, or it’s oops-in-my-pants apology awful. No one gets a hand-job on a Tuesday morning if they “promise to do the dishes.” Spunk evaporates upon hitting movie air: it doesn’t require the mopping services of a sock/towel/curtain. No one ever – ever – complains about their clothes being ripped off: “awe, Daphne, that was my dad’s tank-top – I doubt he has the receipt.” A job in accountancy/middle-management immediately translates to a penchant for leather/rubber/gimp-masks. Fat people don’t have sex unless the main character is having sex with a “fatty”. Unless he’s fat. The end of The Italian Job is a metaphor for the establishment’s regret at the pace of female sexual liberation: “you’re only supposed to blow the bloody doors off.” No one has to all-fours-it crawl - balls like bags of marbles - to the stereo on the floor to change the CD because apparently “Yankee Hotel Foxtrot” isn’t getting her in the mood. Etc.
                      An excellent post, but can I give you one piece of advice? Next time you watch The Italian Job, keep watching after that bit you cite. The second half's really entertaining as well. (I assume of course that you're talking about the original; if the remake really does end at that bit then no wonder it got so widely panned.)

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                        Movie/TV clichés

                        Sam Kelly wrote: I've been thinking about starting a thread on Law & Order, essentially to ask people who've watched it for longer than I have how the bloody hell it became so big/won so many awards. Perhaps because I've only started watching it very recently - and thus well after seeing The Wire - but it really is crap.

                        Originally posted by Slightly Brown
                        Originally posted by Sits With Remote
                        In American TV dramas it's quite common that when a couple are about to make the Beast With Two Backs for the first time (or perhaps after an unexpected reunion) the hero will sweep the heroine off her feet and carry her bodily to the bed/sofa/chaise longue. This is done with ease and the hero never puts his back out.
                        Sex deserves a sub-section. There is no penumbra when it comes to movie sex: it’s either saxophone/chiffon/claw-the-back eye-poppingly wonderful, or it’s oops-in-my-pants apology awful. No one gets a hand-job on a Tuesday morning if they “promise to do the dishes.” Spunk evaporates upon hitting movie air: it doesn’t require the mopping services of a sock/towel/curtain. No one ever – ever – complains about their clothes being ripped off: “awe, Daphne, that was my dad’s tank-top – I doubt he has the receipt.” A job in accountancy/middle-management immediately translates to a penchant for leather/rubber/gimp-masks. Fat people don’t have sex unless the main character is having sex with a “fatty”. Unless he’s fat. The end of The Italian Job is a metaphor for the establishment’s regret at the pace of female sexual liberation: “you’re only supposed to blow the bloody doors off.” No one has to all-fours-it crawl - balls like bags of marbles - to the stereo on the floor to change the CD because apparently “Yankee Hotel Foxtrot” isn’t getting her in the mood. Etc.
                        An excellent post, but can I give you one piece of advice? Next time you watch The Italian Job, keep watching after that bit you cite. The second half's really entertaining as well. (I assume of course that you're talking about the original; if the remake really does end at that bit then no wonder it got so widely panned.)
                        Ha – what a Wally, of course it’s not the end. That’ll be the “I’ve got a great idea” bit. I’ve seen the remake, too, but I couldn’t tell you much about it. I seem to remember Ed Norton getting punched, but that’s about it. All in all, not the richest of posts, this.

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                          Movie/TV clichés

                          Slightly Brown wrote: I’ve seen the remake [of The Italian Job]
                          Ah, so you're the one are you.

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                            Movie/TV clichés

                            Gangster Octopus wrote:
                            Originally posted by Slightly Brown
                            I’ve seen the remake [of The Italian Job]
                            Ah, so you're the one are you.
                            Hey, I was single for a long time: a man ends up watching all sorts of shit when he has that much spare time to burn. I mean, I’ve seen all the Universal Soldier movies. No one should have to go through that.

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                              Movie/TV clichés

                              Bloke employs henchman to 'scare' person who owes him money or has pissed him off in some way or form. Sadly, he ultimately gets the kind of henchman who goes beyond his brief and bumps off the poor sod wholesale.

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                                Movie/TV clichés

                                Villains about to do a job. One of them notices some people hanging around near their "lair". Could be the filth. Don't like it. Doesn't smell right. You can't pull out now. We're under contract to Mr Big. I'm pulling out. Lovely young daughter, you've got... You what? You bastard. They get caught.

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                                  Movie/TV clichés

                                  ian.64 wrote: The past of a certain character - a mystery man, possibly a man with a shady past - is researched by the lead, who trawls through files on the person involved. He comes across old photographs, which shows the mystery man in various locales, where he is armed, with other suspicious types, etc. For reasons which can't really be explained, the face of the man suggests he's gone through those years with very badly-photoshopped features, defying reality enough to look as if they've been cut-and-pasted on.
                                  The past of a certain character - a mystery man, possibly a man with a shady past - is researched by the lead, who trawls through files on the person involved. He comes across old photographs, which shows the mystery man in various locales, where he is armed, with other suspicious types, etc.

                                  The lead says "There's no doubt about it. That's definitely Grant Shapps."

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                                    Movie/TV clichés

                                    Reed John wrote: What's Gloucester like? The one in Mass is attractive, but very harsh. The one in Virginia is the sort of place where you can imagine selling your soul to the Devil at the crossroads.
                                    It's a dump with a wonderful cathedral and nice restored docks.

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                                      Movie/TV clichés

                                      Scene in dodgy British gangster drama (or over-used cliffhanger in Eastenders):

                                      Woman is desperately rummaging through drawer, becoming more and more frustrated. Suddenly a blurred figure appears behind her at the bedroom door. She stops and looks up, trembling. As the camera focuses, he utters the words: 'Is this what you're looking for, Sand?'. He then produces keys/incriminating photograph/essential document. Cue drums. Out.

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                                        Movie/TV clichés

                                        Saw a good old chestnut on Hustle yesterday (yeah, it's us).

                                        Always-picked-on character is given an unappetising task to perform, and embarks on lengthy session of words such as "No!", "Definitely not!", "Never!" etc.

                                        Cut to scene of same character, performing task in question.

                                        Admittedly Hustle is easy pickings as, without cliches it would be an hour of static. Come to think of it I reckon Hustle must win Most Cliche Ridden Show of All Time - can anyone top it?

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                                          Movie/TV clichés

                                          Hotel Babylon probably comes close.

                                          It's also got incredibly irritating editing- swooooosh! and all that.

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                                            Movie/TV clichés

                                            Slightly Brown wrote:

                                            Murder, She Wrote. It's so gentle/lightly clichéd that I can watch it in a kind of trance. The Cabot Cove coma. It also reminds me of being ill/skiving from school.
                                            See also 'Crown Court'. I'm still waiting for the DVD price to drop on Amazon.

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                                              Movie/TV clichés

                                              I've just had a 'madeleine' moment without the madeleine. We only watched 'Crown Court' when we were off sick from school, and we were only allowed to eat Heinz tomato soup, with a bit of bread on the side, because of us being sick and all that.

                                              For those who haven't a clue what the fuck I'm wittering on about.

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                                                Movie/TV clichés

                                                Vicarious Thrillseeker wrote: I've just had a 'madeleine' moment without the madeleine. We only watched 'Crown Court' when we were off sick from school, and we were only allowed to eat Heinz tomato soup, with a bit of bread on the side, because of us being sick and all that.

                                                For those who haven't a clue what the fuck I'm wittering on about.
                                                It's The Sullivans that I always associate with being sick off school. Watching it whilst eating two boiled eggs with butter mashed into the bottom of a cup- my mum's miracle cure for any off school causing maladies.

                                                I just came across this theme tune which has induced not so much a madeleine moment as a 'flew to France, got off the plane, went to every patisserie I could find within an hour of landing and wolfed down at least 6 tons of the bastards before being violently sick' madeleine moment.

                                                I was immediately transported to age 8 sitting cross legged in the school corridor (because the TV couldn't fit through the classroom door) watching the ITV Schools programme clock ticking towards 9.25am...

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                                                  Movie/TV clichés

                                                  Geoffrey de Ste. Croix wrote: ....two boiled eggs with butter mashed into the bottom of a cup- my mum's miracle cure for any off school causing maladies.
                                                  Ahhhh....memories. Said concoction was imaginatively known in my household as 'egg mixed up in a cup' and was used to cure all manner of ills, ranging from a slight sniffle to full-blown bubonic plague. Lovely stuff. Did your Mum have a proper name for this GdSC?

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                                                    Movie/TV clichés

                                                    Coddled egg? (Or is that something else?) My mother gave us what she insisted on calling 'bouillon' - basically a cup of Oxo.

                                                    Crown Court was the classic 'skive TV' in my memory, as well. Along with Indoor League. ITV had sick days sewn up.

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