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    Movie/TV clichés

    Wyatt Earp wrote:
    Originally posted by Stumpy Pepys
    Indeed. No casting director ever got fired for hiring Michael Ironside.
    I dunno, I think Ang Lee was right to wonder whether he was quite right for Mr Ferrars.
    So terribly indelicate for him to ask, too. A true pioneer.

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      Movie/TV clichés

      Any corn-field must be gently caressed by an open-palmed warrior, his hand a spiritual Oyster Card for his passage to the after-life. A blurry image of his frolicking - now dead- children at this moment will aid his passage. Said scene must be soundtracked with the longing of a high-register soprano, flavoured with the sickly-apricot-mid-register-timber of the Middle Eastern warbler. Note: the movie corn-field should never reflect an ill-advised-yet-government-sponsored ethanol/rapeseed-oil-planting change of tack.

      Moving into the modern era: farmers must always wear dungarees. They must also tear large pieces of bread before every meal, using the wheat-mass to sup up "Grandmother's best ever gravy." That this will happen pre-Grace will be the centre of an outrage based on a covering-up-of-the-what-we're-really-thinking-about-this-lawyer-from-the-city-you-brought-home-not-Chet-from-Prom-that-still-lives-local-and-that-your-pappa-adores outrage. This will we be reflected by a) the rolling of eyes; b) the flirtatious wink of the teen-aged tom-boy daughter (repeated by the 90-year-old good-time-girl grandmother); c) a montage of him falling over in various sties/pens/coops. They will always be white. Superman may be among their number.

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        Movie/TV clichés

        The huge "one-way" interrogation mirror. "That massive mirror? The whole time you were interrogating me there were people back there? Watching? Swapping quips? I always thought it was about self-reassurance. Getting me to connect with my outer- as well as my inner-self.? Man, I feel like a fanny. Well, you wait until my criminal brethren hear about this. Sure, they will give up information, but they will never look at that mirror the same way...The next time they are in here they will know - know - whom is on the other side of that glass. Ruined it. They may even mouth something like.."Dirty cooooop." They will, without fail, look you straight in the eye as they leave the session. They will not, however, go: "ooooh, that would look great in my bathroom."

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          Movie/TV clichés

          Whenever a waggy-tailed dog (especially a retriever or labrador) or friendly cat is introduced by name into a thriller, they will be toast by mid-film; or in the case of cats, they will soon be forlornly miaowing around their owner's dead head. This ruins a lot of thrillers for me and my cat.

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            Movie/TV clichés

            I'm any disaster/alien invasion/monster/war movie a cow will be killed in gruesome but possibly, amusing, fashion.

            Hollywood hates cows.

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              Movie/TV clichés

              Stumpy Pepys wrote:
              Originally posted by Slightly Brown
              90% of snarling-spittle-flecked-bug-eyed bad guys/what-the-fuq-are-you-looking-at grizzled army officers are played by this guy (brilliantly, as it happens):

              Indeed. No casting director ever got fired for hiring Michael Ironside.
              My first experience of Michael Ironside. Memorable.

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                Movie/TV clichés

                tratorello wrote: I'm any disaster/alien invasion/monster/war movie a cow will be killed in gruesome but possibly, amusing, fashion.

                Hollywood hates cows.
                ha - totally. Said cow must always do the Australian inflection/"really, me?" noise on the instant of its death: moooooo!?

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                  Movie/TV clichés

                  In sex scenes, breasts are almost always on view. Bottoms of both genders are common sights, with a smattering of vaginas (the spell-checker is telling me vaginae). Penises are almost never visible.

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                    Movie/TV clichés

                    People who fall to their deaths off buildings or cliffs, will do so in slow-motion, as if gravity acquired different, dream-like qualities when someone got chucked off a monolithic construct.

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                      Movie/TV clichés

                      Sits With Remote wrote: In sex scenes, breasts are almost always on view. Bottoms of both genders are common sights, with a smattering of vaginas (the spell-checker is telling me vaginae). Penises are almost never visible.
                      True — though there are more than was once the case. The erect male penis is almost the only remaining cinematic cue that the movie is porn, rather than erotica. Therefore, as soft penises are unconvincing in sex scenes, they are rarely shown except post-coitus. At least that's my theory.

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                        Movie/TV clichés

                        In most cases, bars in cinema will always have one or two drunken bastards who just want to have a fight with the main character. In other cases, bars are there for having three or four heavies wait outside so they can face down said main character.

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                          Movie/TV clichés

                          While previously in the film, the ruthless baddy has been super efficient and quick in his kills.
                          But when faced with the hero, will spend ages telling, said hero his plans, allowing him time to think of an escape.

                          Or contrive a suitably complicated execution, rather than just a quick bullet, again allowing a possible loop hole for escape.

                          But maybe I saw too many Adam West era Batman shows.

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                            Movie/TV clichés

                            Whenever an alien attack occurs, its defeat in Boston or New Jersey (or wherever the hero lives) will somehow be sufficient to deter the entire invasion, regardless of how many other continents may have been besieged by extra-terrestrials.

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                              Movie/TV clichés

                              Any object found by any character in a film that has great relevance to the plot will be - instantly and obviously - verbally described by the character as soon as they find it, never mind that anyone watching knows what it bloody is.

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                                Movie/TV clichés

                                How to illustrate to the audience what the character has recently been doing.

                                DIY - Home improvement?
                                Paint on the cheek bones.
                                Ladies must have hair tied up in cloth.

                                Baking?
                                Dob of flour on the nose.
                                Headgear, see above.

                                Mending the car?
                                Grease artfully smeared on the forehead.
                                (Carrying spanner optional)

                                Bit tipsy after a party?
                                Little party hat at jaunty angle.
                                Gentleman will have bottle in hand, tie askew.

                                Bit of a punch up?
                                Plaster on cheek or in more gritty dramas, a slight trickle of blood from the side of the mouth.
                                Any offers of medical attention will be contemptuously declined.

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                                  Movie/TV clichés

                                  In all pre-eighties sci-fi productions, the assumption is that all people from the future will wear a variation on whatever is the current fashion.

                                  An obvious soap rule: No one shall have a relationship with a person who doesn't already inhabit the square/street/farm/hospital. In the unlikely event that this does happen, said newcomer must move in with his/her partner immediately - regardless of the fact that it's far too early in the relationship. The couple will then start planning a family with similar reckless abandon. Or indeed kill one another.

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                                    Movie/TV clichés

                                    In any sci-fi/horror, when a human being is taken over by any entity, be it biological or spirit-form, people who know that person will still talk to them as if nothing's wrong, never mind that the possessed character will act in a totally different and altogether ghoulish way to how they did before.

                                    Metallic knives, swords or any other weaponry will resonate with a piercing 'schhinng!' sound, even with the merest small movement.

                                    In a fantasy/sci-fi/horror film scenario, characters who supposedly return from the dead (usually as part of the evil plan of the villain, who manages to manipulate the minds of his antagonists and pull off a trick like that) will still be welcomed back tearfully by the people who loved them, the latter seemingly rejecting the reality that they really are dead and that they buried the buggers a long time ago.

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                                      Movie/TV clichés

                                      As annoying and intrusive people like Jessica Fletcher are, the head of a police department will ultimately allow an amateur sleuth to virtually take over an entire murder investigation.

                                      With the odd rare exception, security guards in films are either injured or killed, and are completely useless.

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                                        Movie/TV clichés

                                        ian.64 wrote: With the odd rare exception, security guards in films ... are completely useless.
                                        And that differs from real life how?

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                                          Movie/TV clichés

                                          Don't know, GO. I've never staged a multi-million-dollar heist or sophisticated art theft enough to find out.

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                                            Movie/TV clichés

                                            You haven't? Damn, Ian, I was relying on you...

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                                              Movie/TV clichés

                                              Bloody Gangster Octopus (opens sports bag, shoves rope, climbing equipment inside)...I was planning on going shopping today...(stuffs night goggles in bag)...my back hurts and I'm not getting any younger..(folds up blueprint of museum)...those laser alarm networks are a bastard and my big arse cheeks will set the fuckers off..(stuffs impressive high-flexibility catsuit into bag)..Damn it, Ian, I was relying on you...all right, smartarse, you want the Kohinoor diamond badly enough, you nick it...

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                                                Movie/TV clichés

                                                ian.64 wrote: As annoying and intrusive people like Jessica Fletcher are, the head of a police department will ultimately allow an amateur sleuth to virtually take over an entire murder investigation.
                                                She may be annoying, she may be intrusive – but she gets results. Incidentally (and I don’t mean to derail the thread), I’ve been on a Murder, She Wrote kick for about a month now. It’s driving my girlfriend batty, but there something about a septuagenarian in pearls solving crimes that really does it for me. It’s nowt kinky, mind, I think it’s because it's so gentle/lightly clichéd that I can watch it in a kind of trance. The Cabot Cove coma. It also reminds me of being ill/skiving from school. I’d like to see her broaden her remit, though; maybe tackle some yardie/gangland pliers ‘n’ blow-torch executions.

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                                                  Movie/TV clichés

                                                  Not cliches exactly, but I get some sad pleasure from watching the eternal conflict between the needs of the plot and unhelpful modern technology.

                                                  So for example, about 90% of movie/TV characters will arrive unannounced and knock on the door. Nobody thought to text first? Similarly, in any desperate search for a missing person, a walk through the woods shouting the name will no longer suffice. At some point the audience must be told how/why the mobile phone has been lost, or rendered inoperable.

                                                  Directors get awarded bonus points for imaginative 'workarounds'. Just seeing it left on the table or muttering "out of range! no signal!" don't cut it.

                                                  Comment


                                                    Movie/TV clichés

                                                    She may be annoying, she may be intrusive – but she gets results. Incidentally (and I don’t mean to derail the thread), I’ve been on a Murder, She Wrote kick for about a month now. It’s driving my girlfriend batty, but there something about a septuagenarian in pearls solving crimes that really does it for me. It’s nowt kinky, mind, I think it’s because it's so gentle/lightly clichéd that I can watch it in a kind of trance. The Cabot Cove coma. It also reminds me of being ill/skiving from school. I’d like to see her broaden her remit, though; maybe tackle some yardie/gangland pliers ‘n’ blow-torch executions.

                                                    That's what I thought what was most peculiar of Murder She Wrote, the very clean and antiseptic nature of the crimes: almost no pools of blood, with the bodies just lying there with little or no wounds on their persons. The clean-up units must have got things sorted, post-murder, in about ten minutes. Not for Jessica Fletcher the task of finding out who severed the torso of the attorney with his head placed in a bin-liner. Prime-time family viewing, of course (if murder was something the whole family could watch), but most of the victims in MSW must have walked around with a paper cup's worth of blood in their bodies.

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