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    Stubbly Scientist: "We're facing an impact event that could destroy most of North America."
    Older Mentor Figure, other end of phone putting ice into glass of whisky: "And a global catastrophe for the rest of the world."

    OMF has already asked if SS's female assistant is easy on the eye as well as 25 and a brilliant research scientist. She is. Fortunately they're "just good friends".

    SS goes off to his wife's house late at night, gets friendly reception and sees son, but discussion with Severely Short-Haired Estranged Wife in porch then descends into recrimination because he's "always so busy looking up at the stars he never sees what's important down here". SSHEW wants a divorce.

    SS goes back to office in a huff. Brilliant Female Assistant is there, she's run the numbers. Bad things afoot in space. However, the "force of attraction" is at work here in earth too, and they snog. OMF appears on screen with new numbers and mildly lascivious commentary. BFA does the calculations in her head. Flash, I love you, but we only have 17 hours to save the earth!

    There's gonna be a weird-ass, dysfunctional road trip with SS, BFA, SSHEW and son, with common criminals, the FBI and an asteroid on their tail. This is gold.
    Last edited by Various Artist; 07-07-2018, 22:55. Reason: Stubbly, not Stubby

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      Meteorites have hit major American cities and forced our dysfunctional clan's car off the road. They're gonna make a 12-mile hike through woods to reach OMF's House. I predict bears. Or possibly a mountain lion. No, wait, the Redneck Criminal Element are on their trail, and we all know rednecks get a +5 move bonus through backwoods.

      Elsewhere, important people in are talking about the White House, evacuations, and firing a missile at the asteroid. Stay tuned!

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        Come on, VA. This is edge of the seat stuff!

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          Sorry wibl, I was agog for the last bit.

          Suffice to say the rednecks attacked, one was pinned by a tree after a meteorite strike, our heroes were saved from the other one by a passing father and daughter out searching for somewhere safe to hole up themselves, the good guys all take shelter in OMF's survival bunker filled with super computer equipment, and there's lots of tension as the military prepare their nuke and the father of the daughter loses his shit because he thinks our heroes will turn on them when the rations start to run short. Fortunately SS notices his boy and the girl playing pool, and instantly spots how they can use a satellite's thrusters to fire it into another asteroid, and thereby use that asteroid to knock the first one off course from hitting the earth, and also punches out the father when he tries to attack, and ties the latter to a chair. Cue lots of Hollywood Hacking by SS and mostly his BFA, plenty of shots of screens, radar etc. to save the CGI budget, while the father calms down and is untied from the chair. It all ends, of course, in last-second success and the Important Military Man finally acquiesces to the request of SS's Erstwhile Boss Figure (who had fired him because of, I don't know, being a maverick) to stand down the nuclear missile (or "missle", as it actually says on a screen readout), and everyone lives happily ever after, the end.

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            They've got the right colour palette too.

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              Meanwhile a dog walker just discovered a body in Endeavour.

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                Originally posted by Various Artist View Post
                ...spots how they can use a satellite's thrusters to fire it into another asteroid, and thereby use that asteroid to knock the first one off course from hitting the earth...
                Red Dwarf, Series 4 Episode 4, "White Hole" wherein Lister, playing pool with planets, -

                Originally posted by Wikipedia
                ... plays a trick shot and a planet is knocked against another planet orbiting a close-by Sun, which in turn hits a third planet orbiting another Sun, knocking it towards the white hole, plugging it up ...

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                  Something this magnificent is only 4.0 out of 10 on imdb,that's shocking

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                    Originally posted by wiblflibl View Post
                    Red Dwarf, Series 4 Episode 4, "White Hole" wherein Lister, playing pool with planets, -
                    First thing I thought of too wibl!

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                      I watched a not very good TV movie about a good story (the segregated proms in the Deep South, and One Brave Student's Battle for Change).

                      Anyway, to effect the change, the Brave Student has to address the other students in the time-honoured maner - by standing on the table (this time in the cafeteria) and getting everyone's attention. This has been done countless times since Sally Field in Norma Rae, and it always makes everyone stop and listen. It is a Turning Point, guaranteed.

                      But you do it one time in the office, and there's a snotty e-mail from the HR guy who has never seen any movies ...

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                        Had me laughing out loud VA. See all those films. A variation is the giant insect film, "Them" for example, were the gritty cop falls for the super intelligent but drop dead hot daughter of the slightly dotty professor as he warns the world of the impending global catastrophe as the giant insects, mutated by fall out from atomic tests, come close to exterminating mankind.

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                          Just watched Godzilla (2016 version). A good argument for more World Cup games.

                          Bryan Cranston enters a supposedly dangerous contamination area, checks the reading and then takes off his protective mask. And he's OK, it's safe! Because in all such situations on screen, if you remove the equipment that is keeping you alive, on a strange planet or in the lab, you will know immediately if you've made a mistake. The symptoms are instant. Never mind the possibility of slow-acting radiation, toxic gas etc. If you can breathe and not die there and then, it stands to reason you have nothing to fear. Screw health and safety.

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                            The Prometheus/ Alien Covenant approach to health and safety.

                            Just for once I'd like someone to crack their helmet seal, sniff, say "It's fine", then start to melt like the Nazis at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.

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                              Looking at TV last night and saw that they were showing a movie called "Substitute". Turned out that it wasn't the long awaited biopic of David Fairclough but a film in which an ex Navy Seal/Special Forces/whatever becomes a substitute teacher in a tough inner city school and by dint of dedication... Fill in the rest.

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                                Who was the teacher – Steven Seagal? He's always an ex-Navy Seal/ex-Special Forces/whatever.

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                                  Tom Berenger. I didn't watch it.

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                                    Contrary to what most people think, thunder and lightning are in fact invariably experienced with no time lag.

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                                      Originally posted by Various Artist View Post
                                      Who was the teacher – Steven Seagal? He's always an ex-Navy Seal/ex-Special Forces/whatever.
                                      I think there was one with Samuel L Jackson. Maybe a sequel?

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                                        I just watched Karate Kid (original) for the first time in years, or decades. It stands up well, a rare exception to the reliable rule of "Don't watch 80's films again, leave your memories alone, toes will curl".

                                        Anyway, it includes Miyagi's training methods, which are famous enough to be a well worn trope. But even that link omits other examples from movies, and I'm racking my brains to think of them. I can picture the scenes - "students" complaining, the coach/master insisting, the dialogue ("Why the hell are we doing this?"), etc. The training is usually for sport or war. Yoda teaching Luke is similar, but not quite the same: he wants to do the tasks, but feels he can't. The classic "Wax On, Wax Off" examples should be mundane and apparently a waste of time. Training without the ball, as it were.

                                        Any other examples of this cliche come to mind?

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                                          Pretty much every Hong Kong martial arts movie ever? Most obviously Drunken Master, Snake in the Eagle's Shadow, The Magnificent Butcher, 36th Chamber of Shaolin.

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                                            Incidentally, that reminds me I need to watch the Karate Kid TV show now it's out from behind the paywall.

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                                              I'm sure you're right, though I haven't seen any of those.

                                              The scenes in my foggy memory are in English, possibly involving snotty kids on campus.

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                                                Lovely hippy chick proclaims that she is the reincarnation of an Egyptian princess. Why is that it is always a princess that is reincarnated? Never the third assistant shit shoveller at the local Hertz camel rental?

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                                                  Originally posted by tee rex View Post
                                                  I'm sure you're right, though I haven't seen any of those.
                                                  You should definitely see Drunken Master and Snake in the Eagle's Shadow.

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                                                    Originally posted by tee rex View Post
                                                    I just watched Karate Kid (original) for the first time in years, or decades. It stands up well, a rare exception to the reliable rule of "Don't watch 80's films again, leave your memories alone, toes will curl".

                                                    Anyway, it includes Miyagi's training methods, which are famous enough to be a well worn trope. But even that link omits other examples from movies, and I'm racking my brains to think of them. I can picture the scenes - "students" complaining, the coach/master insisting, the dialogue ("Why the hell are we doing this?"), etc. The training is usually for sport or war. Yoda teaching Luke is similar, but not quite the same: he wants to do the tasks, but feels he can't. The classic "Wax On, Wax Off" examples should be mundane and apparently a waste of time. Training without the ball, as it were.

                                                    Any other examples of this cliche come to mind?
                                                    I find that cliche applies to real life a lot.

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