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    Movie/TV clichés

    "And this, corrupt wealthy criminal heads of crime families/evil consortiums, is how we will receive billions in cash should my master plan to envelope California in a sea of Bovril come to fruition. All I ask is for you to place £200,000,000 into the account number I will give you to confirm your co-operation."

    "No, Doctor Fingerdrax, I have spoken to my advisors and we wish to withdraw from this plan."

    "Hmm. I see. Well, if I cannot change your mind, then I bid you farewell. Silent, staring assistant who is really an assassin, would you kindly show Mr. Sakamoto to the pool of pirahnas. The car park! I meant the car park."

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      Movie/TV clichés

      A deliberate thing in Bond movies. The bad guys eat. Bond just drinks.

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        Movie/TV clichés

        Two work colleagues are at the point where their working relationship is crossing the line and becoming something more. In a closed office/alcove/quiet corridor, they are engaged in a quick illicit clinch, when in walks a colleague/assistant.

        There is a momentary, awkward pause for just a fraction of a second, as the realisation suddenly dawns, then the colleague/assistant continues whatever they were going to say, making an extra effort to seem relaxed and normal.

        There is an optional "Oh, sorry" which may be added in the final part.

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          Movie/TV clichés

          ian.64 wrote: "And this, corrupt wealthy criminal heads of crime families/evil consortiums, is how we will receive billions in cash should my master plan to envelope California in a sea of Bovril come to fruition. All I ask is for you to place £200,000,000 into the account number I will give you to confirm your co-operation."

          "No, Doctor Fingerdrax, I have spoken to my advisors and we wish to withdraw from this plan."

          "Hmm. I see. Well, if I cannot change your mind, then I bid you farewell. Silent, staring assistant who is really an assassin, would you kindly show Mr. Sakamoto to the pool of pirahnas. The car park! I meant the car park."
          The hero is often directed towards the car park, but he works out the trap and arrives in the Final Boss Lair, to much surprise.

          A prime example: The lift that turns into a one way slide to the shark tank in The Spy Who Loved Me.

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            Movie/TV clichés

            And the set of steps inside a blimp that turn into a ramp, sending a hapless crime boss into the stratosphere in the still bonkers-enjoyable View To A Kill.

            A deliberate thing in Bond movies. The bad guys eat. Bond just drinks

            Dr. No: This sea bass is delicately flavoured and quite delicious, Mr.Bond, my personal chef has excelled himself I'd....

            Mr. Bond, that's the third bottle of Verve Cliquot you've consumed. Are you sure you've had enough?

            Bond: Fu...fuck off, you Swedish bastard! You lot...you lot think you're so fuckin' clever, don't yet, with...yer boutiques an' yer sign language, an' yer underpants
            , well I'm not KEEP YER HANDS OFF THAT BOTTLE, YA BASTARD! S'MINE! Where...was I, oh yeah...colonic irrigation is..the way of the fuckin' future, pal...I...love..you (cries)

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              Movie/TV clichés

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                Movie/TV clichés

                A staple of 70s /80s family dramas (also seen in jurassic park ),child pulled from river or electric shock seemingly lifeless, half a dozen chest pumps and a couple of breaths later (accompanied by a "breathe, damn you, breathe ) little timmy coughs a thimble full of water and is miraculously ok

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                  Movie/TV clichés

                  A compulsory cliche in the action genre. Hero is summoned by big wigs to some sort of conference room in order to entrust him with a difficult, top secret job only he can do. Head big wig proceeds to read his impressive CV out loud. The litany always includes the words 'special operations', 'specialist' and 'expert', as well a long list of tours of duty in the wars du jour. It must also end with the words 'very impressive'. The hero gets uncomfortable, beacuse deep inside he's so modest, and says something badass and sarcastic like 'Did you call me to read me my resume?'. Because he's not impressed by rank, you see. He knows the true measure of a man is his capacity to kill with his bare hands.

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                    Movie/TV clichés

                    I think all spy movies need a degree of Basil Exposition.

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                      Movie/TV clichés

                      I like "lethany". It conjures a sort of particularly lethargic litany, emphasising how dully this scene has been put together.

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                        Movie/TV clichés

                        Current soap cliches that irritate me most are those relating to mobile 'phones. I mean, how many bloody times do characters unwittingly leave them in the pub, someone's bedroom, toilets, shops - whatever - in order to incriminate themselves? Talk about telegraphing your intentions. (Then it's always 'I'll pick it up next time' - like you'd go without your 'phone for days.)

                        Don't know about others, but I don't think I've ever done this: I'd instinctively know if the old cellular wasn't on me.

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                          Movie/TV clichés

                          If there is an annoying, pretentious university student in a detective show set in Oxford (which there often are), he will usually be called Felix. He will probably wear a huge Yasser Arafat style scarf furled enormously round his neck, and may well have some other stupid clothing affectation like an absurd hat.

                          If Felix is murdered (there is quite a high probability) you will struggle to avoid feeling glad about it.

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                            Movie/TV clichés

                            Various Artist wrote: I like "lethany". It conjures a sort of particularly lethargic litany, emphasising how dully this scene has been put together.
                            I was tired and emotional. Corrected now.

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                              Movie/TV clichés

                              In any disaster movie/sci-fi blockbuster, the brilliant scientist in possession of hard evidence of impending doom will repeatedly try to warn others but will be slapped down by vested interests or faceless bureaucracy. The scientist, if male, will almost always have unkempt hair and several days' stubble and be kitted out in the sweat-soaked clothes of a penniless postgraduate. His nadir will be reached when he's in a long, loud corridor of an Important Government Building desperately trying to get his Old College Friend, who will be immaculately-dressed and ooze smug condescension, to listen to him and use his influence to persuade the People In Power that they have to act now. The scientist will always carry in his hand stacks of papers to support his theory but will invariably struggle to locate the key piece of evidence when pressed, nervously shuffling through the papers saying "It's on page... it's... it's... I, uh... I must have..." If interrupted he'll shout "I'M NOT CRAZY!" which will echo down the corridor and cause a moment of extreme discomfort for Old College Friend who will patronisingly tell him, "Steve... You're a fine scientist, it's true. But this is politics. It's a world you'll never understand. Leave this one to the professionals, huh?"

                              If by some miracle the scientist does get an audience with the People In Power he will find himself alone and isolated standing in front of a table of suits and military types (usually flanked by screens showing incoming data from across the world) who will say, "So you want us to evacuate the entire west coast of the United States based on... a few coffee-stained pieces of paper, is that right Dr. Pulaski?" Despite his best efforts to prove that the objects hurtling towards Earth at great speed could result in the end of the human race his arguments will be dismissed as "evidently just old Soviet satellites re-entering the atmosphere. The President's Scientific Advisor has assured him that they pose no threat."

                              When tragedy does eventually strike, Old College Friend will be among dozens of people desperately trying to board a helicopter about to depart from the roof of a skyscraper as the entire city burns around them. Old College Friend will be depicted barging vulnerable people out of the way with cries of "Let me through! Let me through, damn it!"

                              The scientist will react to the vista by sitting down calmly and wistfully adjusting the time on the precious old watch given to him as a last gift by his dying father just before being consumed by flames.

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                                Movie/TV clichés

                                Thunderous applause for the above but if I might suggest....?

                                Rugged, dedicated but mis-understood scientist has geek-chic cool specs. Also an exasperated/estranged wife/girlfriend who is also a tough, hard-hitting, puts up with no crap journalist (also unbelievably attractive of course) who picks up on the presumed planetary armageddon (or whatever) story when rugged scientist ex is late for/ misses cute daughters game/recital/party. "it's ok honey, sure your dad loves you..." "he doesn't, sniffs, he loves his work more.." **ex thinks- its not LL Ike Steve to miss Chlamydia's party or whatever, maybe there's something in this. I'd better talk to my editor**

                                Also- President's science advisor who dismisses our hero's theory has immaculate white coat, tweed suit & bow tie. When he dismisses the theory he looks like he's just smelt a rank guff. The president hears his dismissal, look between him & our hero, holds up a hand at advancing body guards, points at his now ex-advisor & drawls "get this guy outta here...I wanna here what this guy has to say.."
                                Everyone looks all shocked at each other.
                                Our hero looks embarrassed & modest, he's not good at this sort of thing.
                                His ex looks over & realises what she saw in him & looks over her glasses & shares a look with her more dumpy mate....

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                                  Movie/TV clichés

                                  Yes, huge applause for that one YUT. I can almost see the corridors of your Important Government Building now, smell the smug condescension radiating from the Old College Friend and hear the square jaws of the People In Power setting firmly against the poor scientist.

                                  I like Boris' correlative too. I was imagining more like with all other avenues firmly shut down to him, our misunderstood scientist's only way back into the plot is if the OCF or some other occupant of the IGB has a teenage kid who's also got a whiff of the way the global winds are blowing, has mad computer hacking skillz and happens to be roaming around the IGB unchecked, allowing him to bump into the mortified scientist after the latter has been peremptorily dismissed from the presence of the PIP. They can then smuggle themselves into an Important Computer Lab/out of the building in order to start attempting a unilateral and unsanctioned saving of the world, preferably alongside a tough-but-secretly-clever girl, a wisecracking black guy and a small dog.

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                                    Movie/TV clichés

                                    Your Usual Table wrote: In any disaster movie/sci-fi blockbuster, the brilliant scientist in possession of hard evidence of impending doom will repeatedly try to warn others but will be slapped down by vested interests or faceless bureaucracy. The scientist, if male, will almost always have unkempt hair and several days' stubble and be kitted out in the sweat-soaked clothes of a penniless postgraduate. His nadir will be reached when he's in a long, loud corridor of an Important Government Building desperately trying to get his Old College Friend, who will be immaculately-dressed and ooze smug condescension, to listen to him and use his influence to persuade the People In Power that they have to act now. The scientist will always carry in his hand stacks of papers to support his theory but will invariably struggle to locate the key piece of evidence when pressed, nervously shuffling through the papers saying "It's on page... it's... it's... I, uh... I must have..." If interrupted he'll shout "I'M NOT CRAZY!" which will echo down the corridor and cause a moment of extreme discomfort for Old College Friend who will patronisingly tell him, "Steve... You're a fine scientist, it's true. But this is politics. It's a world you'll never understand. Leave this one to the professionals, huh?"

                                    If by some miracle the scientist does get an audience with the People In Power he will find himself alone and isolated standing in front of a table of suits and military types (usually flanked by screens showing incoming data from across the world) who will say, "So you want us to evacuate the entire west coast of the United States based on... a few coffee-stained pieces of paper, is that right Dr. Pulaski?" Despite his best efforts to prove that the objects hurtling towards Earth at great speed could result in the end of the human race his arguments will be dismissed as "evidently just old Soviet satellites re-entering the atmosphere. The President's Scientific Advisor has assured him that they pose no threat."

                                    When tragedy does eventually strike, Old College Friend will be among dozens of people desperately trying to board a helicopter about to depart from the roof of a skyscraper as the entire city burns around them. Old College Friend will be depicted barging vulnerable people out of the way with cries of "Let me through! Let me through, damn it!"

                                    The scientist will react to the vista by sitting down calmly and wistfully adjusting the time on the precious old watch given to him as a last gift by his dying father just before being consumed by flames.
                                    You just need to figure out a new kind of disaster/monster and this could get made very soon.

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                                      Movie/TV clichés

                                      In addition, with our unkempt, largely unregarded scientist who specialises in the obscure field related to the oncoming Doom, it should be noted that despite him being unregarded, as soon as The People In Power accept that Doom Is Coming, the scientist will be involved in all the decision making and often have audiences with the President. Nobody will remark on this astonishing promotion.

                                      It should also be noted that the President, unlike all the advisers, will listen to the scientist, be considered and reasonable against the advice of The People In Power.

                                      In a further corollary, should The President be killed by the Forces of Doom, the VP will be charming, qualified, intelligent and considered. Should the President survive, though, the VP will be a conniving, conspiring, corrupt and possibly racist scumbag trying to usurp the President. Anyone who holds the actual office of President during a disaster movie is always a Very Good Person.

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                                        Movie/TV clichés

                                        Hahaha, thanks folks and all good suggestions! We have the meat of Generic Nineties Summer Blockbuster here. I'd like to add that when Brilliant Scientist (as he's now known) is meeting the PIP and warns that the President's science people may be wrong the head of the PIP will say, "Even if it is these 'dark matter meteors' or whatever it is you call them about to hit Earth then there's no need for concern - it'll provide us with an opportunity to field test Mr. Reynolds' new Missile Defence System."

                                        When the extraterrestrial menace is looming towards Earth, all will be gathered in a situation room watching video footage of a massive object bearing down on the planet. Several thousand bright objects - missiles - will shoot towards it and explode in a firestorm that obscures the object. OCF will whoop and cheer, drunk on vindication and success, only to have his celebrations cut short (after a dramatic pause) with an urgent, "Wait!" from someone else in the room... On the screen the firestorm will disperse revealing the object looming more ominously than before. "It... it's a mistake... It has to be a mistake!" shouts OCF. "Begin the evacuation", orders the President, repeating the order louder for dramatic effect. OCF speeds off downtown in his luxury car to collect his glamorous model girlfriend from their penthouse apartment. She, in his absence, has gone into the city and is busy using parts of her designer dresses as field dressings for wounded citizens, explaining her skills as a field medic with, "I dropped out of John Hopkins' to pursue a career in modelling." OCF finds her and desperately tries to drag her away with him, "Diana, we have to go NOW!" She'll look at him with bitterness and rejection - how could she ever have loved this heartless coward? He'll curse her do-gooder nature and will speed off back to the skyscraper where he has a date with destiny...

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                                          Movie/TV clichés

                                          Obviously, each new makeshift bandage she creates will,serve the dual purpose of shortening her skirt.

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                                            Movie/TV clichés

                                            Ka-ching!

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                                              Movie/TV clichés

                                              For max irony when OCF barges his way onto the last helicopter just as it takes off, he sits back in his seat and breathes out. Then the camera pans back and we see the inbound dark matter meteor just moments before it obliterates the helicopter.

                                              Not that OCF is necessarily dead. He could still come back as an unlikely saviour to rescue Brilliant Scientist having avoided incineration in the fireball through never to be explained means. This give him the opportunity to exhibit Personal Growth when he admits to Brilliant Scientist. "Looks like you were right all along. I should have listened to you."

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                                                Movie/TV clichés

                                                Directors and Producers giving interviews where they instructed their casting director to get someone like Jean Boht/Sheila Hancock/someone and they auditioned hundreds of actors but none was right. Then the producer's husband said "why not just ask Jean Boht/ Sheila Hancock/someone?"

                                                And do you know what? They liked the script, came in and nailed it.

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                                                  Movie/TV clichés

                                                  People throwing papers in the air.

                                                  Angry police chief. College lecturer. Top brass at military HQ. They all need their files on hard copy, for maximum rage and frustration.

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                                                    Movie/TV clichés

                                                    During chases on foot, it's imperative that a stall of fruit is knocked flying. It's fairly critical that the stall holder will then yell "Hey, hey, whaddya doin'?" Or similar.

                                                    During a car chase, it's equally imperative that at least one of the following is driven through / knocked over:

                                                    * cardboard boxes (as pioneered in Starsky & Hutch opening credits);
                                                    * dustbins;
                                                    * hanging washing;
                                                    * stalls of fruit (see foot chases, above).

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